Chapter 3

Drowning.

She was drowning in an endless ocean of darkness. Her body like a heavy stone, being pulled by its own weight. 

Down.

Down.

Down she went.

Is this what death feels like? How peaceful. 

Her smooth fall abruptly came to a halt. Somebody…or something had gripped her. Tight. 

She was screaming. 

It dragged her up with such force that she was sure her body would be severed into several pieces. 

Gasp.

Blue, blue sky with white swirls of clouds.

Familiar.

That's the painting of her room's ceiling!

"My lady!"

Bleary eyes tried their best to focus in the direction of the voice.

A red blob.

"My lady you were screaming! Are you alright!?"

Red hair. Freckles. That voice.

Ru….by. Ruby?

"Ruby"

"Yes My lady?"

It was Ruby but it wasn't her. It can't be her? It was Ruby but different...Ruby but younger? Most importantly, the scar beneath her right eye was missing. 

"Your scar?"

"Scar?"

It wasn't a scar that one could overlook. It started beneath her eye and covered a good portion of her right cheek. 

Cecilia remembered that day. She'd spent it consoling Julia who was weeping sorrowfully, crying that it was her fault, that if she was just careful. She had accidentally splashed hot tea at Ruby's face that resulted in a grotesque scar. Everybody breathed a bit lighter at the doctor's promise that it'd heal but not completely. The scar grew fainter but it was still very much there.

Julia had fussed incessantly over Ruby, ordered various creams for her that vowed to heal scars of any degree. Even went as far as bowing her head in apology, towards a mere maid. Ruby's discomfort grew with each kind gesture. So much so, that Cecilia had stepped in and told Julia to take it easy. Ruby would be fine.

"Yes Ruby. Your scar?"

"I don't remember ever having a scar, My lady."

Cecilia pensively inspected Ruby's scarless face.

"What's going to be scarred is my heart, My lady. I was walking to your room when I heard you screaming"

She made her way to the windows and started tying the curtains. Warm sunlight spilled into the room.

"Do you know how terrified I was?"

Turning towards Cecilia she asked, "Was it a nightmare?"

"Yes," Cecilia whispered, "A long, long nightmare."

Ruby's eyes drooped in sympathy.

"I'll sing you to sleep tonight, My lady. It'll chase away all the pesky nightmares"

Cecilia couldn't help but smile. 

"That'd be wonderful!"

"Breakfast?"

"I would like to eat in my room"

Left alone, Cecilia's eyes roamed the walls, the ceiling, taking in the architecture and the beautifully painted ceiling. This was Rosen Estate, she was currently in her childhood home. 

She was supposed to be dead. 

Last thing she remembered was Julia's announcement of her pregnancy. Bile rose to her throat at that piece of memory. Misery consumed her whole and before she knew it her life was flashing before her eyes. 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Ok, She most certainly died. So how was she alive and breathing? The sickening pain of her skull smashing against the hard floor was fresh and too real to be a dream.

It wasn't a dream.

Slowly climbing out of bed, she made her way to the full length mirror. She gazed at her reflection, the eyes that looked back weren't weighed down by intense sorrow.

Long hair brushed her waist. After her marriage to Peter, She had started keeping them at shoulder length. Cecilia adored long hair, however, hearing in passing that Peter preferred girls with shorter hair, she got her hair cut. 

The feeling of loss at every snap of the scissors was overridden by the giddiness to be complimented by Peter.

Next she noticed her finger, bare of an engagement ring. She has a hard time falling asleep with any jewellery on her person, but she never removed her engagement ring. 

She hadn't dreamed the three blissful years of her marriage. 

Peter.

Peter's smile when she baked him cookies, his laughter as he pinched her cheeks as she pouted, their light banter at dinner, their passionate discussion related to politics, waking up together and chuckling at each other's bed hair.

They had a lot in common. Their interests aligned and they had a lot they could do together. Both agreed that they loved horse riding the most.

The wind rushing through her hair, the thrill as the horse galloped through the vast lands of the duchy. 

They'd take a break, have a mini picnic while enjoying the weather. Peter would take a nap, his head resting on her lap.

The pleasant thump thump of her chest as she ran her fingers through his hair.

She cherished those evenings the most, It was their time. Their time to bask in each other's presence. Peter would let his guard down, and shared his worries and troubles with her. It was important to her since she knew it was difficult for Peter to express himself. The fact that he tried to open up to her, made her feel amazing.

Julia started joining them. It started with just once a few weeks, until she was there every time. Peter's focus was no longer just Cecilia, no more napping on her lap, no more silly jokes to make her laugh, no more heart to heart talk …

Julia.

Her kind, precious younger sister, who made flower crowns for her every birthday. She donated regularly to the poor and homeless, and helped anyone she learned was needy. She took care of them when they got sick. Looked after them in every little way, smoothed any argument and radiated such happiness and positivity that you knew you'd be ok with her here.

Cecilia swore to protect her little sister the day she was first bullied. Maybe it was this promise to herself that left her blind to what was clearly laid out in front of her.

Tears welled up in her eyes, heart throbbing as the love and hurt clashed. She steadied herself by leaning on the mirror. 

It most certainly wasn't a dream.