(Noah's Pov)
All alone on my owwwwnnnn~
Waaaalkiiing on the seashoreeee~
What do you know? My expertise in literature runs deeper than the deep sea.
Okay, on a serious note I am tired of walking, let's just sit down.
A huge bird, the size of a helicopter soared high into the sky, and a sea creature almost the size of skateboard, with three eyes and wings dived into the sea.
Yes, there were lots of beasts around me or should I say weird animals?
On the other hand, vampy went home. I had no longer any need for her and our mana covenant was done as well. Of course, I told her about the SSS-ranker she wanted to know about ...welp, that SSS-ranker is dead.
However, now she is fascinated by the idea that Marcus had once used.
For the love of god who I don't believe in, I really don't want to know about what that vampy will do in the future.
Welp, whatever she does that has got nothing to do with me.
Just a little more, a little more time to keep this world safe, and once I have done that, I will be done with this world, whatever happens afterward has nothing to do with me.
I dipped my feet into the ocean and made small butterflies out of it. I have gotten good enough to be able to make a butterfly and small stuff out of the water.
Basically manipulating the very nature.
Though, it's kinda mentally exhausting, added to the incredible amount of pain I have been feeling.
Yes, the pain hasn't subsided even a little and since the pain is most probably inflicted on my soul I can't really do anything about it except wait for it to heal all on its own or wait till I am done with this hidden dungeon and take my reward.
I have lots of things to talk about with the blue hair this time.
I stretched my hands up in the air, heaving out a sigh.
Even though I am supposed to be in a novel I have read, there's so little use of all that knowledge. It kinda feels like I have been sent to an unknown random place and have to figure everything out allll on my ownnnnn~.
There's just so much the novel didn't focus on, welp, it's precisely because the protagonist didn't stumble upon all this information that he lost in the end.
Putting my thoughts at rest, I simply kicked the water a little, the beasts around me roaring, playing, enjoying themselves, some of them even brought me some food.
"I am grateful for the food you brought me but how exactly do you want me to eat this huge ass dead body?" I asked the deer or what seemed to be once a deer before evolution, as it nuzzled me with its horn.
Don't bring me the hunted beast, I still am not sure how to cook them. What? You expect me to eat it raw? Aw, hell nah, If not necessary I ain't ever eating the food raw. The taste sucks.
Bleh.
"You... seem to be enjoying yourself."
The voice that called out to me tried to sound calm while not being calm at all, I remembered the time when this voice used to feel indifferent.
Good old times.
The beasts around me who were calm, roared, with delight evident in their voice.
I didn't look back, I knew who she was and from the sounds of the footsteps, it seemed she was approaching me.
"Yup, I am having some relaxation time" I replied.
"I really didn't think you had been here, if not for Elina's help, I probably would have never figured it out," She said, standing beside me, the sunlight made it hard to see her expression but I could tell there was some pain in her voice.
"It really took you too long," I said, and she simply nodded sitting beside me, dipping her feet into the ocean, and the fish that I was petting turned itself towards her and started nuzzling her.
...This damned world.
"What?" I asked as she kept staring at me, with wide eyes.
"Ptff" She laughed at me...
"Shut it."
"Aw, you wanna pet her?"
From today onwards, I shall hate all the fishes!
"I said shut up"
She laughed even more, I grumbled a little all to myself.
Whatever.
Well, anyway. It took her 8 days.
"So how are things on your end?" I asked her not wanting to hear her laugh, she looked at me, took a deep breath, and after a moment began to speak.
"I don't like how you used me, my feelings to be exact. " she complained, the anger evident in her voice "You could have just told me that you know of a cure, I would have stopped it all if you would have had just asked, if you didn't like it, I wouldn't even eat whether there's a cure or not! So why didn't you just ask? I told you I think of you as an important person, a dear friend!" she questioned raising her voice a little higher.
Hot damn.
What else do you want me to say?
"Just a little would have done, just a little trust" Her voice wavered a little as she looked at me in the eyes and I looked in her's.
No matter what anyone else says, black sclera is cool.
Wait, it's not time for such thoughts.
Heartfelt and serious questions need to be answered with honesty, even if it puts you at a disadvantage.
"You are dumb" I answered.
What? What's dumb is dumb.
"I don't hate you, so don't worry if you can't discern anything about me even after looking at me."
It was stupid of her to think that she could discern anything about me from looking me in the eyes.
"If I had asked you to not eat other species, you wouldn't? That's stupid. I can tell you this, if I had to kill the world, the children, the pregnant, the elderly, a man, a teenager, a newborn baby, to save myself then I would gladly do so. If drenching myself in sin is what I need to do to survive, I will and I would never hate myself for it."
I wasn't joking.
To begin with, I know who I am. I am already drenched in sins too unforgivable. I am hated by all for that is how it should be.
I am lower than any.
I have heard somewhere 'Taking pride in who you are is a beauty of its own'
And I like the saying.
"See? I am much more of a bad person than you. So, don't hate yourself, don't doubt yourself. You walked the path you had available to you and that's okay. Besides, I ate along with you. Did it ever feel like I had a problem? Don't worry about stupid stuff like that."
She looked stupified.
I don't have a single right to hate her and she shouldn't blame herself either.
She was simply going in the wrong direction, I haven't done what I did for the people, I couldn't care less about them, I was just doing my mission.
Besides, there was another reason I didn't ask her.
And so.. we talked about a lot of stuff.
Apparently, there were some things that Elina had to say to me which the demon lord relayed to be about and then we talked a lot of other stuff and it seemed to lighten the mood.
Then we went silent.
Thinking about what to talk about.
And then she asked
"...How many ranks did you go up"
"From F- to E+," I said shrugging my shoulders.
I haven't tried to level up even a little bit since then.
It's enough pain as is.
"..And how are you feeling?" She asked, her voice low.
"Meh, a lot of pain"
It's still manageable, I mean, look guys, I am a guy who dived into lava, and was almost crushed by the water pressure and whatnot. Sure, the type of pain I am feeling might be different from the one you feel when being crushed or burned but ...it still helps.
What am I even saying? I shook my head.
"As expected, that's what you get for not consulting things with me. You should be grateful that you aren't dead, moron." She said while hmphing.
Does she think it's a joking matter?
And what does she mean by dead!?
"You mean, I could have died if ranked up more than what I had?" I asked.
For the love of all that's holy, the hell!? Wait, no, I think Vampy said something similar. Well, she didn't explain in much detail.
"That's right. You could die, right now, you probably have gotten a few cracks around your soul, and not only that the mana- no, the components of energy as you call it must be running wild in you."
"I don't know about cracks in my soul but the last part is A-okay, I am controlling and circulating it all properly"
Soul having cracks, like what? I will die for real?
But wait, that means as long as my soul is safe no matter what happens to my body I should be fine.
Am I reading too much into it or did I just learn something really helpful?
She shook her head.
"It's not A-okay, you can control mana, demonic energy, and aura, you have been simply training with them, and your proficiency in them definitely increased but... as you call it 'components' of energy, you don't know how many components are exactly there and how many are running through you. Unlike most of us who are incapable of using them at all, feeling them, thus to us they mostly don't matter but you can feel them, and use them, but you don't have any control over them. You must be feeling them running wild while you can't control it properly."
...She was right on the mark.
Unlike others who can't feel it, I can feel, and sense the components of the energy.
Someone who can't feel the pain of being crushed wouldn't feel the same toll compared to someone who can feel the pain of being crushed. Even if both of them are going to die, it still would be harder on the latter person.
That's how it is for me too.
I heaved out a sigh.
"No use crying over the spilled milk."
"Crying helps to maintain the semblance of sanity and emotions within oneself. It's okay to cry."
...The hell?
"Whatever. I wanted to ask you. Can you really feel it?" I asked.
She looked at me, tilted her head then as if understanding what I meant, and looked on her left.
"You mean, this?" She pointed towards the air, okay, not air, but my system screen.
"...Yeah."
"Only a little, the presence is too thin and I feel like it's staring at me, if not for that staring I don't think I would have noticed"
Welp... I guess, spying on SSS+ ranker is out of the question.
Of course, no one's gonna hand me a world-class spying system.
Sad.
But I am glad I learned about it.
Would have been a mess in the future.
"I see," I replied.
We stayed silent for a long time. None of us spoke to the other. Just sitting there, making butterflies of the water while swinging our legs dipped in water, well, I was the one making butterflies, she was making all sorts of different things, a flying bird, a sea creature resembling a whale, and many other beasts.
It was peaceful.
And then she said.
"Everything that happened happened so suddenly, someone like you could have made all of it work in a similar way even when you were younger."
I stayed silent.
"I tried to look into it all, I should have done it long before." She let out a self-deprecating laugh as she continued "..You feel like someone who appeared out of nowhere... is it related to why you need to go back?"
Hm?
"You aren't angry that I used you?"
"I knew you were using me, just not sure what exactly you were trying to do." She said while touching the water bubble causing it to burst.
"So you want to know about who I am now?" I asked
"Yeah, everything, there are still lots of things that don't make any sense"
Well, I don't mind.
Revealing things that don't have any consequences for me is not a problem.
"It's a long story. Listen closely and try not to feel distraught."
And then I told her about how I came from the outside world, no, I wasn't telling her about my transmigration or anything, just the outside world and how I entered a hidden dungeon, about rewards that I can get once I clear them.
How there are observers that exist who watch us. Of course, I didn't use the word observers but fairies instead, the word everyone on the outside currently refers to them as.
And once I was done telling her all that, she looked at me.
Her eyes are wide, her mouth agape struggling to come to terms with what I have told her.
"...Are they watching us even now?"
"You bet"
That was why I haven't told her about my transmigration, there was no harm in telling her about it but there is harm in letting 'them' know about it.
Inside the hidden dungeon and in the dungeons, I need to be careful of my actions, for I am in their domain, where they make sure to not miss a single thing about me that could be used against me.
"How strong are they?" Her voice quivered, for the first time, I had noticed anger in her voice.
"Even a thousand like you would vanish in the blink of an eye"
She clenched her hand tight enough for the blood to seep out.
I looked towards the sea watching a fish flying for short intervals.
"..Am I being controlled? If there was something like a mission already pre-determined then wouldn't it mean I, we, all are being simply controlled, being played?"
Hm? A good question but
"No." I was sure of it, she looked at me and I began to explain "If you were simply mere puppets, a simulation, a creation meant to go the way they want to, you wouldn't have any souls, and if you wouldn't have had any souls I wouldn't have had gotten stronger. You are just like me, like any other person, with will of your own, free."
In the beginning, I had certainly used various analogies of games to refer to the people of this world.
But at some point, I had accepted.
They were people, like any other.
Now, you can ask why is it that I had the same time limit, the same thing assigned to me as the protagonist even though I entered this hidden dungeon way earlier than the protagonist.
For that, I can only say, it has something to do with time itself.
I am coming close to spending 3 months in this hidden dungeon but the truth of the matter is, once I am done with it, only 3 or 4 days would have passed in the outside world.
That's just how it is.
Of course, it doesn't throw the possibility of them being controlled away but... I just have a feeling that's not the case.
It was a simple strong feeling inside of me. Denying the possibility of this world being a mere game simulation.
A feeling that this was a world, like any other, like my own, not some mere simulation.
And I was sure as hell that these hidden dungeons led to another world, a place of its own, this world was unexpectedly connected with others. Like a web weaved by a spider.
"...I didn't expect you to say something with seriousness in your voice but it does make me feel happy when you deny it so strongly." She said smiling a little.
...
Emotions? In my voice?
I know I have strong feelings but..
'It's weird...'
I noted.
There was something wrong.
But I don't know what.
It was as if 'something' was telling me to not think of it as a mere simulation, the people of this world as mere puppets.
They were people like me, like any other, with will of their own.
It didn't take long for me to realize that they weren't my personal feelings, to begin with, I couldn't care less about it being a person or a puppet, my goal was to return home anything other than that was simply trivial, something that I don't need to be bothered with.
I am the type of person who as long as gets what he wants wouldn't mind following some scripted play or following the written fate. I simply couldn't be bothered with those things.
And yet, I was here denying it, denying that she or anyone for that matter was not a simple puppet but a creature of their own will.
...
I looked up at the sky, stretching my right hand trying to grab the sun with it.
'Someone somewhere is messing with me'
I concluded as I put a lid on these strong feelings of denial.
Whatever this world is, whatever my world is, that shouldn't matter to me yet these emotions running wild inside of me...
"Well, what are you going to do now?" I asked trying to divert the topic.
"I don't know" Her voice sounded kinda of sad, melancholic. "I planned to hear what you had to say and then use you as a punching bag for days. I didn't expect to hear something like what you told me, not at all. I didn't expect someone to exist who is stronger than me, I didn't expect to learn that you are of a different yet similar world. This was beyond what I had thought. By the way, what would you do if I decided to destroy the world regardless?"
"It wouldn't matter. It's all good. I would rather face the failures during the initial stages than have them explode on my face once I have passed a certain stage."
"...You really are okay with anything," She said heaving out a sigh, and then she forced a smile "I guess, I won't destroy it then, I hope you mess up a big time when it really matters."
Well, fuck you.
Slowly standing up, she put her hands on her hips, dusting off the dirt.
"Well, I guess I will go now that you have decided to abandon me and work with that lass that showed up recently to make the world a more bit peaceful for everyone"
Abandon.
That was the right word, no matter how one looks at it, my actions were no different than taking a stray puppy in and then abandoning it.
That's also why, it was wrong of me to be with her.
She needed to make new friends, friends who wouldn't use her.
Welp, I am grateful she isn't throwing her attacks at me, I was ready to go down and have a fight with her.
And then,
"Here" she threw a drive towards me as she explained "It contains all the things you still haven't learned from me. You can watch them when you do grow stronger and learn from it," she said shruggingly.
She didn't say another word, but even without them, we both knew this was the last time we would see each other, to begin with, her giving me the drive was the proof of it. I hadn't expected to get this though. Guess, she fulfilled her promise.
As she turned her back to me and prepared to leave.
I called out to her.
"Enyo"
Fulfilling my promise.
"How's that for a name, make sure you don't forget it this time," I said as I tried to smile to the best of my ability, I really did as she looked towards me.
...even though I wasn't feeling anything, it didn't matter though, she couldn't discern anything anyway.
The shock in her eyes was pretty visible.
Her reaction confirmed that I had won the gamble!
Damn, I had narrowed it down to 30 names that her parents might have had come up with! But of course, there's only one name, one correct answer.
1/30 odds and I won.
Maybe, my luck isn't so bad, after allllllll!?
What?
Everything around me started to feel like it was breaking, shattering.
Wait what!?
What's this!?
I instantly looked at the purple screen and it showed mission complete.
Aha, I had thought that I would have to spend a complete 3 months but ...it seems the moment it's solidified that she won't destroy the world, is the moment my mission is done and I can't spend more time here.
Lol, I was right in making things as late as I did.
That's why I didn't ask her directly to not destroy the world and for peace.
Yup, this was the real reason.
I mean I could level up by killing stronger people, all I had to do was ask her to present me with some offerings.
But 'this' wasn't something I could learn about by simply asking.
What? I am a jackass! Can't do anything about it. I wasn't completely lying though.
It's just, that this was more of my priority.
What can I say? I never preached about being a saint.
I exchanged a stupid gag with her and then.
Just when she was about to completely disappear from my site, her words rang into my ear.
"I am happy to have met you! Happy that you were born! Happy, so so happy!"
...
At that moment, her smile shone like a radiant star.
'Damn ...SSS charm ain't fair'
At that moment I was grateful I was controlling my mana, aura, and demonic energy throughout my body.
For it helped me keep my facial expressions in check.
Ah, damn.
Those weren't the words I expected to ever hear, I knew at that moment. It was a bit too late but...
She just became someone important to me.