MY REAL NAME

I cupped Saint's cheeks, watching him struggle through every breath he managed to take. Soft wheezes sounded from his breathing, merging with the ripples of the river beside us.

"Saint..."

He had lost all of his skin and hair. Most parts of him were charred like charcoal, leaving his arms positioned as they were because of the stiffness. The majority of his flesh was seared and reduced to nothing, exposing much of his bones. Despite his state, he desperately attempted to say something but even simple words were too much for him to articulate.

"ry…s…rry…"

"Lucian...many more of them..." Skwak cautioned. "Skwak will hold them off. Lucian escape."

He helped me carry Saint on my back. There was a gradual swelling in my throat. The outburst of the mutated shepherds reverberated in the background.

"Be safe and come back to me," I murmured, holding him in firm gaze.

He nodded. "Skwak will come back. Skwak will follow wherever Lucian is. Skwak will protect Lucian."

"Don't die for my sake. I don't deserve your sacrifice," I reminded him. I did not need any more people protecting me. I was sheltered and kept in a steel box for far too long. Many people have suffered for my sake. If anyone needed to perish that would be me, but not at this moment.

I turned around, giving him one last glance.

"I will be waiting for you."

I jumped across the river, securing Saint against me. I kept glancing back at Skwak as he watched us flee. With one last look, he vanished and a loud explosion followed suit.

Saint coughed weakly, his exhale was accompanied by rasps. "Tha...thank you..."

'I am amazed how he can still talk despite his serious burn injury…' the voice inside my head commented.

'He shouldn't even be able to speak at all…' another one said.

"One d–day...I will carry you like this...one day...wherever you want to go...I will carry you..."

My eyes sheathed with a thin layer of water. I cleared my throat.

"Yes, one day, so do not let go."

This was the same feeling as that evening when I got separated for the second time with Lucius. .

'I love you, chii'.

The holler of chaos that night softened. The scenery of fire, the splatter of blood, the death of those I trusted, and the demolition of what I thought would be the home of my emancipation were all so blurred in comparison to his face that falsely reassured me that everything would be alright.

"My name...My real name...I haven't told you yet..."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, clenching my jaw tightly. I stood still to listen to him.

"What's your real name, Saint?"

My voice was thick yet fragile, as if there was pressure that leaned against it that would cause it to shatter at any moment.

"Saint?"

He became heavier. His breathing ceased.

'Nephew…'

"Do not ignore me. It is rude not to respond..." I muttered.

'He's gone, nephew.'

"He is not."

There was no way. I was going to bring Saint out of this village. I was going to protect him. I wasn't going to let anyone harm him ever again.

'He's gone, please Lucian—'

"He is not! I told him not to let go. I told him that."

'I know, nephew. But you cannot save everyone, that is the reality of life,' the voice gently said.

This was unjust.

This was cruel.

This was...the world we lived in.

"How can he be gone when...he hasn't even lived yet?"

I stared at the road ahead of me. It suddenly became longer.

"You have to let go, nephew, for Saint has..."

My chin dropped to my chest.

"I will not...Let him rest here."

My feet moved slowly. Eventually, it became a jog and then into a sprint. I will not have his body rest in a place where he was tormented. A loud howl emerged that halted me in place. A huge wolf came into my vision, running to me at high speed of urgency.

Fenris transfigured into Caleb as soon as my legs gave out. Worry and fear were etched on his expression. I looked at him as I released huffs of heavy breaths that squeezed my chest.

"Lucian?"

The wolf knelt before me.

"What happened? I was looking all over for you. Who is that?"

"Someone...who I couldn't save," I whispered.

Caleb pressed my head against his bare chest. His presence was able to stabilize me somehow.

"I didn't even get to know his real name."

"It's not your fault..." he comforted.

We stayed still for a while until more explosions occurred.

"I don't know what's going on but we can't stay here," Caleb said and stood me up. "Let me carry him for you," he offered.

I swayed my head.

"Let me do it. He would have wanted that."

He cupped my face and nodded in understanding.

"Go back," Kox's voice popped in behind Caleb.

Caleb jolted, twirling on his heels. He pointed at Kox in confusion.

"Where the fuck have you been? Where are Crowley and Ziru?"

He went from a caring and sympathizing werewolf into an annoyed and reprimanding man in a second.

"They're at the opposite of where you're going," he answered blankly as he read the empty pages like he normally did.

"The trinity must all meet. It's the only way to save everyone."

Caleb exhaled another frustrated breath.

"Can someone tell me what exactly is happening?"

Kox pointed at the skies. There was a figure plummeting from the heavens.

"That is exactly what is happening."

The tiny dot became more vivid as it fell. The gigantic monster we saw earlier landed on the ground near us, causing a massive earthquake that split the floor far and beyond. I used more of my mana and took us above the ground. The entire forest shook and split into a disarray of splintered land. A three-tailed man engaged in a fight against the giant.

The maniac had finally arrived.

Skwak soared with us; Caleb was ready to strike him.

"He is a friend," I explained to him which further irked the puzzled werewolf.

"What kind of friends are you making?!"

"That is Squawkey. I followed him when you were sleeping."

Caleb slapped his forehead in exasperation. He pointed at the giant that was sending thunder and lightning to Sin's way.

"And them? Are they your friends too?" He asked.

"Not quite."

"Not quite?" he emphasized.

"I am hesitant to make friends with the three-tailed maniac," I deadpanned.

Cloaked skeletons rose with their scythes and attacked us. Skwak's body burst into blue flames.

"Don't tell me they're your friends too!" The wolf snarled, bringing out his claws.

"I'm considering it."

"Leave Lucian alone!" Skwak yelled.

Saint was snatched from my hold by a mutated Vincenzo. My form scorched in an unexplainable sensation as he held Saint's corpse by the neck as if he was a rag doll. Caleb had noticed my behavior and warned the chieftain.

"Give that boy back if you know what's good for you."

Vincenzo growled, blood splattering out.

"The Trinity must never be one!"

"Your limbs must never be attached to you..." I murmured.

My fingers uncurled but maintained their tremor. Their tips had a discolored tint to them as ashen colored veins began to spread throughout my skin.

"Lucian?" Caleb called out.

I was deafened by the loud beating of my heart. It gave a bounding rhythm. The beats grew weaker and softer as my vision darkened and turned narrower until what was left was a small red dot that glimmered in the midst of blackness.

'What is causing you that pain?'

His voice was velvety and familiar.

'What is causing you that extreme rage?' he further asked.

Cold winds circled my body lulling me to sleep.

'What is drowning you into the depths of despair again?'

Vibrant, scarlet, and piercing eyes glanced at me behind my closed lids.

'I will destroy them for you.'

"Lucian!"

My eyes opened. Caleb was staring from below. My body was surrounded by a cyclone of fire accompanied by snapped trees and boulders.

"I will destroy the world for you," the man from darkness spoke through me. It seemed as though I was caged in my own body.

The flames widened in range. Vincenzo retreated with Saint's body in possession. I dove in pursuit of them. In spite of the flames which surrounded me I was cold. We grew closer to where the giant and Sin were fighting. I endlessly threw flames at Vincenzo who was able to dodge some but received most. He tossed Saint to the side. I caught his fist before it could clash against my face.

Whoever was controlling me knew how to fight. My movements were smooth, effortless, and conquering. Each blow to his body sent him feets away. Vincenzo had grown frustrated.

"Graaah!"

His slimy tongue wrapped around my neck. My arms transformed into blades that slashed his tongue off his mouth. The blade pierced through his stomach, slicing a wound that gaped widely. Huge spiders crawled out of the gap. They latched to my form to mangle me with their jarred teeth. I jumped back, releasing a heatwave that caused the spiders to fall off and melt to the ground. Vincenzo lanced his staff to the floor, spreading a magic circle spread under his feet.

"No God is better than thee.

May the previous ruler be damned.

May the still believers be scorned.

Humanity shall rise again."

He grew in size, towering even further. His muscles bulked. His boils enlarged like inordinately inflated balloons. He charged my way, clawing my neck. My sword pierced through his chest. I breathed through my teeth before spitting acid into his face. The old man dropped me with a growl. I withdrew my blade, slashing one of his arms which then regrew in seconds.

"Pest," the voice spoke through me again.

Heat swelled up against my throat. I puked lava on the chieftain which brought him to his knees. I leaped with my arm blade swinging and tearing his head from his torso.

"Must die," the voice continued and manipulated the blade to stab his neck. "And become rotten."

Decay infested the beheaded body. I was taken aback by it.

Did I cause him to rot?

My vision blackened. I lost my balance but was caught by someone.

"What were those things I killed off?" Caleb panted, holding me up.

"Fuck..." he muttered when he noticed the decayed form. "It looks like a catastrophe got him."

Vincenzo flailed his arms, looking for the head that had rolled back.

"What the fuck?" The wolf screamed when the head crawled up to its place and released a broken groan.

As soon as I regained my strength, I clapped my hands once. The ground underneath Vincenzo parted. His recuperating body fell down before the ground squashed him inside.

"I'm going to get nightmares after this. I'm never going to sleep," Caleb sighed.

I stayed silent, rethinking what happened earlier. Why did Vincenzo's body decay like that? Caleb gathered Saint, handing him to me.

"Are you okay, Lucian? You suddenly became berserk. What's going on?"

I took Saint from him, licking my cracked lips.

"I don't know. It is hard to explain. Perhaps Lucius will know what is happening to me."

Caleb and I glanced below when an earthly sound resonated, similar to an animal digging a tunnel underneath. Before I knew it, a hand shot out and dragged me down. Caleb moved Saint away, pulling me with all his might. The veins in his arms popped out as the one pulling me had equal strength.

"Don't let go!" The wolf panicked.

The tight grip moved from my ankle to my lower leg before I heard my bone snap. My breath hitched; I swallowed a scream that dared to come out.

I felt that.

And I was still feeling it.

"Caleb, he broke my bone."

His eyes widened before being lit in a fit of rage and turned bright red. His strength doubled. The werewolf was able to win the tug-of-war with my leg being the only casualty. He was able to pull Vincenzo with me who didn't even gain a single scratch from being mashed underneath.

Caleb grabbed the arm holding me captive and snapped it into two. He snatched Saint and leaped back. He set us gently down the floor. He took long and fast strides towards Vincenzo who was anticipating him with a bloodied grin. Caleb gave him a strike to the face that sent him crashing through two or more trees.

"How fucking dare you..." he seethed. "How fucking dare you hurt my mate!"

As if Caleb magnetized the lightning that the giant was sending to Sin, electricity surged towards the werewolf. Caleb's body bulked up; the ground underneath his feet broke apart.

"No, don't do it...Caleb!" I yelled, realizing what he was about to do.

He screamed, disappearing in a flash of light and leaving charged particles from where he left. Before Vincenzo could stand, he was plucked from his place, getting hauled by the wolf.

I tried to stand only to fall forward when my broken bone couldn't support my rise. A thunderous ignition burst and winds and dust rolled from the point of explosion. I covered my eyes and pulled Saint against me, not knowing that I would lose consciousness after the winds settled down.

The feeling in my chest was too much to bear.

I didn't know how to handle it.

It was all...too confusing.

My eyes opened to the bright and clear sky. The grass swayed from the breeze. There was a lone cottonwood tree that provided cooling shadows from the warmth of the sun. The person cradling my head on his lap hummed. He stared at the ether and then his red eyes focused on me.

"Saint..."

He smiled, tears cascading down his cheeks. He had a healthy complexion and had more meat on his bones compared to before. He started to sing in his beautiful boyish voice.

"My faith is as clear as the sky.

It is as bright as this very day.

And nothing could have trampled my faith

Yet you arrived and swept me away."

"How you've left me in disarray

How you've kept me as your prey.

And now I am caged in your eyes.

Yet I feel my wings stretch in your gaze."

"Tell me something I don't know.

Tell me how you can get rid of this faith of mine.

That damned faith that kept me alive.

That certain faith that is now long gone."

"Where is my devotion now? Is it with you?

Where do I stand now if not by your side?

My traitorous heart is bursting out of my chest.

It is reaching for you. It is longing for you."

"Tell me something I already know.

I say no but my heart says yes.

I know I can't reject you because you accepted me.

When no one could and no one ever did."

"I love you, when will I ever shout it out?

I am a coward, yes I am afraid.

I was once a faithful man.

And now I don't know what I am. "

"Yet I believe in you. You are my new sky.

You are my new sun. My heart is pointing at you.

I am a believer in you. Will you accept me one day?

I wonder, I wish, and I pray that I can stay by you."

"I will stand by you. I will look at you.

I will adore you and I will embrace you.

If my life runs out before I can praise you, then I promise;

I will love you in another lifetime."

"I will love you in another lifetime. I surely will.

My mind may forget you but my heart never will.

I will love you in another lifetime. Do not forget.

I will love you in another lifetime. Just you wait."

I reached up and caressed Saint's face. He leaned against my touch and I rubbed his cheek with my thumb.

"One day, Saint."

"I haven't told you my real name yet." He held my hand that cupped his face.

"You can tell me when we meet again," I replied.

"I want to tell you now," he persisted. "Because I know that you're the only person who will not treat it as a curse.

My eyes started to blink from sleepiness. Saint's voice faded.

"Then...tell me."

His mouth continued to move, but I couldn't hear anything.

"I can't hear you. Will you speak loudly for me?"

He smiled. My vision became blurred. He gently swiped my eyes closed and I awakened with a blue feather swaying above me. The feather fell on my eyes. I plucked the feather from my face and twirled it in between my fingertips. Crowley and the others were heading my way judging from the noise they were creating. They surrounded us. Saint was lying down peacefully beside me.

"I still...don't know your name," I murmured to him.

Rui tapped my arm and contemplated something before saying it.

"Before he died he told me something," Rui said.

"What was it?"

Rui lowered his gaze, glancing at Saint with sympathy.

"Please tell him...that my real name is S a m a e l."