5

I was having a rollercoaster of emotions, I didn't know what to say, how to feel, I didn't know what to do, I was lost and confused. I felt so betrayed At that moment and all I felt was pain. It felt as if someone was stabbing me in my heart over and over again. I was in so much pain, seeing what was happening before me. Have you ever felt a pain so unbearable that you want to die? But the thing is you can't die from this pain because you don't feel this pain when you're shot, stabbed, fell down a flight of stairs, beaten to near death or been hit by a car. In fact, you wish it was one of these accident that happened to you rather than this. I was staring at the scene in front of me with wide eyes, wishing I could close them, but no matter how hard I tried they stayed open, locked on the cheating couple. I wanted so bad to wash out my eyes so that I could erase the image, that has now stained my eyes.

The image of naked bodies joined, lovemaking, sweat gathering on the skin, running down his back from their sexual activity. The only thing I could do was open and close my mouth like a fish out of water. No words were coming out of my mouth, but my heart, my mind, and soul were screaming.

Why did they do this to me?

What did I ever do to deserve this?

Why me?

Why did it have to be my bestfriend?

How long?

This can't be happening.

Not to me.

Like statues, the three of us stared at each other, no one dared to move, we could only stare in disbelief.

Disbelief that they are cheating, and disbelief that I caught them in the act. The room was silent, the only thing I could hear was my heart racing painfully in my chest and my breathing, that I was trying so hard to control. My eyes were burning, as I try not to break down and cry in front of the adulterers. I was disgusted, but I was mostly hurt.

Hurt that he would do this, that he would cheat on me, cheat with her. If it were some random woman, would it hurt this bad?

Yes, but not this much, to the point I wished to be run over by a truck.

Hurt that she did this, that she slept, or currently sleeping with my boyfriend and soon to be father of my child.

Deep down I knew, it is written, it's a fact that some men cheat, but I was hoping that he was one of the few that does not cheat. He acted that way. He was a good actor, he fooled me for 5 years.

Air escaped my mouth as I tried to calm my emotions to regain my control. But how could I? In front of me, on our bed, a bed we share every night, in our house, a house we were planning to start a family, to live our life together, was a man I called my boyfriend, a man I love and a woman I called my best friend, who I trusted, f*cking each other.

Now I'm starting to question myself and their relationship. My head was starting to hurt again, and I remembered the doctor telling me I should take it easy and rest, but how can I take it easy and rest when I come home to a scene like this?

I rub the side of my head, rubbing my temples, trying to ease the headache that I was feeling. They both flinched at my action, and I raise my eyebrow.

I followed their gaze to realize that the gun was also raised while I was still rubbing my temples, and it was pointing in their direction. Now I understand why the room was so silent since I entered. They must be thinking I might lose it and kill them.

The moment I realized that I wasn't being robbed, but cheated on, I forgot about the gun, now that they are staring at it, how could I still forget about it?

I don't know how long we were in a standstill, five minutes, or ten minutes, I'm not certain how long, but within those minutes we only stared at each other. They forgot about pleasure, and I forgot about my fear of coming home to a dark house and about my ruined anniversary.

When I thought about my anniversary, and how my day went, something clicked, and before I knew it, I was pointing the gun at him threateningly.

“Rosie, I can explain,” Josh jumped exposing his nakedness, he puts his hands in front of him thinking it might save him if I fire the gun.

I laughed liked he told a joke. It must be a joke. What could he possibly explain to me? That it was an accident. That he slipped and in the process of him slipping, his clothes fell off, leaving him naked, and suddenly, his dick landed in her pussy.

“Explain? This explanation is enough.” I wave my hand across the room. “Do you think I'm stupid? I'm not an idiot, who is blinded by love to not see that my best friend and my BOYFRIEND were f*cking on our bed, in our house.” I was slowly losing my composure. Not only that, but I am disgusted, but most of all I'm angry, and I am hurt. I was trying to hide the hurt, but I couldn't as it seeps into my voice as I speak. No matter how strong you think you are, this scene right here will rip your heart out, even the one you think you don't have.

He lowered his head. Ashamed? Guilty? Sorry? “Can we at least talk about it?” His voice was low, and his speech was slow, unsure of his self. I can't believe his still has a mouth to talk. He should just shut the hell up because the more he talks, the angrier I get.

“Talk about what? Talk about how my boyfriend and best friend are sleeping together on our anniversary. Did you know that I was in the hospital?” He looked shocked at the news, but then again he could be faking it, he's good at it. He has been faking it for five years that he loves me. “I was attacked on my way home to celebrate our ANNIVERSARY, do you know the first thing I thought about when I woke up? You, and here you are enjoying yourself in my best friend.” I watched the both of them squirm as I mentioned their betrayal and the fact that I was hurt with no one to care for me. I wanted them to feel guilty anything that is close to how I am feeling, and I was moving the gun from person to torture them. I wasn't going to shoot anyone tonight, but I wanted to. The urge to pull the trigger was so strong, but the only thing holding me back was my unborn child and prison.

The room was silent until Tia spoke. “Josh, I'm scared,” Tia muttered, she shifts her body so that she is hiding behind Josh. “I don't want to die," she whimpered. “Please Rosie, let us go, I'm sorry I didn't mean to, it just happened, I'm sorry.” She kept telling me that she is sorry and begging me to forgive her. All her pleas and apologies landed on deaf ears. “Josh, say something, don't just sit there, do something.” She grabbed him, shaking him by the shoulder. What could he do in this situation? I'm the one with the gun, and I'm the one who's controlling the situation, so she should be begging me, not him.

I tilt my head to the side, scrutinizing the cheating couple, only to come to the conclusion that this isn't the first time they cheated on me. They looked so intimate together, like a couple. I paused, held my breath, heart racing and my hand holding the gun got sweater by the second and for a moment, I think my index finger might slip, and I shoot someone.

How could I be so blind? Or are they that great of an actor and actress? That I didn't see the signs. How could I? When he played the role of my boyfriend so well, and she played her role has my best friend as a best friend should. If I didn't catch them tonight, would I have been able to find out their dirty secret? Maybe? But when? In the next three years when we're probably married with kids or five, six, ten years into our marriage, or would they stop cheating, and I would never know that they betrayed me? I shake my head mentally, trying to get the thought of them continuing their affair in the future.

But what I want to know is how long as the affair been going on. “Shut up.” Josh teeth were clenched as he forced the words out of his mouth. I guess he felt the shift in the air, but Tia was still clueless. She kept pestering him to do something. “SHUT UP.” He raised his voice, pulling away from her touch aggressively. She pouted. What the f*ck? What is that? Did she just pout at my boyfriend? Disgusting. Seeing the look on my face, his expression changed from angry and annoyed to hopeless.

“Rosie,” he said my name slowly and softly, like I'm a wild animal waiting to attack at any signs of aggression. “Put down the gun so that we can talk about it, if you want,” he added quickly when his eyes met mine.

“Do you think I want to talk about you cheating on me with my best friend, or my best friend sleeping with you? No, I don't. Do you know how much effort and energy I'm exerting to not shoot you both? All of it. Every cell in my body is vibrating with anger. Did you even love? Did you ever think of me once and how I would've felt if you did this to me.” I was blabbering, but I didn't care. I'm hurt. My emotion was all over the place because I couldn't keep them in check anymore, and before I knew it the dam broke, and tears started flowing down my face. “I thought you were different, you made me believe you were different, but you lied to me. Is everything about you a lie? Why did you do this? Why did you cheat? Am I not enough? Am I lacking something that she has?”

“I'm sorry.” I heard him whisper. His words didn't help me feel any better, but it made me feel the opposite. Sorry, is when you step on a person's toe accidentally, sorry is when you break your mother's favorite figurine, sorry is when you make a mistake and this is not a mistake. It is something done with intentions.

He's not sorry. He's a liar and a cheater.

“And you.” I pointed the gun at Tia. “I trusted you the most. Men will always be men. They cheat. You called yourself my best friend, but here you are sleeping with my boyfriend. I'm disappointed. To make matters worse today was supposed to be a celebration, celebrating a five-year anniversary between Josh and me, but instead I come home to a different surprise. My best friend and boyfriend f*cking in my bed. What a great surprise?” She flinched. I don't know if it was because I'm holding a loaded gun at her or my words. I was tired of seeing their naked skin, so I instructed them to put some clothes on. Tia was quick to pull Josh shirt over her head since it was the closest to her and Josh pulled up his underwear being his private. I stared at Tia wearing his shirt, she must have felt my eyes on her because she kept her head bowed as she played with the hem of the shirt, ignoring me. Josh felt awkward but didn't dare tell her to take it off since it covers her nakedness.

“Talk. How long has this been going on?” I finally voiced one of many questions.

“This here.” He was referencing to the affair. “Meant nothing to me, she is nothing to me, I love you.” He was quick to answer, but that wasn't the answer I was looking for.

“You haven't answered the question.” He thinks he can jump circles around me, by playing the I love you card.

He remained silent, and I know that I'm not going to get an answer from him by only asking, but I must know I want to, not knowing is hurting me, and I know that knowing will hurt me more.

“I said, answer the f*cking question. How long have you and her been f*cking each other behind my back.” I snapped when he remained silent. He flinched. He didn't want to answer the question, and I fear that he would lie. The gun in my hand have a very useful purpose and that is to threaten people. I did just that.

“It started four months ago,” He blurted then added. "It was just sex." Just sex. What do he mean by just sex? So, if I roles were reversed tonight, and instead of him cheating, and I was the one cheating, would it have been just sex?

I thought my heart was already shattered to pieces earlier, but I was wrong, I could hear it shattering some more, the shard of each pieces is causing me to bleed inside. The two have them have been doing this for four f*cking months behind my back. And here they are doing it on our anniversary. A day where we should be celebrating one more year of being together.

“Just sex? Is that how you see it?” I scoffed in disbelief. "So my feelings are just feelings, and they do not matter? Did you ever stop to think about how I would feel?"

“I-I” He stuttered at a lost of words.

“Right because who thinks of their girlfriend while messing around with their best friend. I loved you, Josh…" I think he heard the past tense in my sentence. I said loved and not love. “I moved in with you, I live my life with you, around you. I spent five-years of my life with you. I did something I never did with any man, and that was trusting you, sharing myself with you, I loved you despite my fear of getting hurt but you threw it all away for this. To mess around.”

“Rosie I…" I cut him off before he could get another word out of his mouth.

“Shut the f*ck up, Joshua, don't say another word." My hands were shaking, tired from holding the gun for so long, but I wasn't going to drop it. I can't let my guard down around these two. Look at what they did. I can't trust them. "I want to hear what Tia as to say to me.” I said, pointing the gun at Tia. She only curl up in herself and stayed quiet. “Tell me, Tia, why would my so call best friend sleep with my boyfriend.” I lean my head to the side and look at her with fake curiosity. “And don't take too long to answer because my trigger finger is itchy, and I might accidental shoot someone,” I said, letting her know that silence is not a choice or keeping me waiting for an answer too long.

“Rosie, believe me it was a mistake I didn't mean to… We didn't mean to… My boyfriend just broken up with me, and he was there to comfort me and one thing lead to another, and we had sex. It was my fault I di...” I interrupted her.

“A mistake?” I said in disbelief. “Your no good for nothing boyfriend left you, so you cried on my boyfriends shoulder and then slept with him for the past four months. You call that a mistake. I call that a decision. I'm your best friend why did you went crying to Josh when you know I am here for you, " She interrupts whatever I was going to say next.

“Your the one who asked me not to come crying to you when I finally see his true colors, and break my heart." She sounded upset. I know that she isn't the only best friend that have been told that phrase and at the end of the day your still there for the person after you've warned them about someone, and they never listened.

“Oh c'mon Tia, only a fool would believe that phrase, I told you from the beginning that I have your back do you think I would abandon you because I was right about your ex boyfriend being a sleazy bag. I told you he tried to flirt with me as soon as you left the room." I never expected her to take my words so serious. I would've been there for her, but not without rubbing it in her face saying I told you so.

“You never said anything about Rick trying to flirt with you, ” She denied, of course, she would. She never listens to me and that's why she can never learns.

“I did the second you returned to the room, but you believed his words, a men you've been dating for over two months, over your best friend, that you've know for five years. Did you think I would've lied?” Tell me why would there be a need to lie about her man trying to flirt with? I didn't want to hurt he feelings, but wouldn't it hurt more if she ever found out how much she is being played by him.

I knew she was jealous of my relationship with Josh because her past relationships didn't work out. I didn't want her to live in oblivion, so I told her. You want to know who she believed? That douchebag. She believed a person over me that she had only met two months ago. We have been best friends for years and when she believed him, I was hurt.

I left that day with him smiling smugly at me while she was too busy accusing me of wrongly accusing her boyfriend. She accused me of not wanting her to be happy. She said I was ruining everything, so she asked me to leave. I did so reluctantly.

“That wasn't the first time he lied to you. The next day I saw him with some girl going into a restaurant I confronted him and I came to you right after, but you didn't believe me, you believe his cheating ass.” I was remembering that day when she stopped talking to me because I kept on accusing her boyfriend wrongly.