The Lost Secret

[19th December]

"Dylan never told me anything," hummed Rikki as he chewed on his fries that were drenched in tomato sauce, I cringed at that. The six of us chose to eat at a retro fast-food diner that was a walking distance from our school before we make our way to the carnival. Silas had attempted to reach Dylan but he excused himself from the hangout, simply reasoning that he wasn't up for it. Before Silas could even respond, Dylan had already hung up on him.

"Me neither," said Ethan.

I sighed in defeat and hit my head on the table.

"I mean, you were his partner-in-crime, Johnny. He trusted you the most out of all of us, so we'd understand if he let you in on his secret and not us," Jay sent a reassuring smile my way. I groaned, sitting up.

"It's not that,"

"I can't remember a thing! It's like he never told me anything in the first place," I waved my arms around to emphasize what I had said. If only I had Johnny's memories.

"That's strange, you should try asking him about it when the storm calms," Nick recommended, stretching his hand across to give my head a consoling pat.

"It's okay, I'm sure you'll remember soon." he grinned radiantly.

"I hope so,"

-

"Would you like a plastic bag for your purchase?"

"No thank you," I breathed out as I seized my chips, smiling politely at the elderly cashier before departing the convenience store, the cold breeze instantly hitting me in the face as I trembled.

"It was supposedly 'Yang's Friday Movie Night' as Johnny's family had called it. They insisted I put my homework aside for the day and accompany them for a Netflix horror movie premiere they had been anticipating for a long time. Their favorite actor was starring in it. I wasn't intending on doing any school work today but the boys and I were reckoned to revisit the carnival today, so I had to call it off and explain that I wouldn't be able to make it. They knew what tradition Johnny's family had and understood instantly.

It was worrisome to not be in the carnival with Ethan, but I didn't want to look out of place in front of the strangers I had to call family in the meantime so I accepted. Moreover, they had a 'movie streak' to keep up with.

I trust the others will watch him.

I had already established myself on the snug sofa when Johnny's parents realized the lack of snacks in the house and waved me off to the convenience store with a fifty-dollar bill. They told me to get whatever I wanted which was excellent.

"Don't take too long, though! Or we'll start without you!" Johnny's sister had teased. Either way was great, I wasn't a fan of horror films anyway.

I exhaled deeply as I began to move my feet, my breaths coming out as small puffs of white mist in the cold air. Winter was nearing.

I used the common route back to my designated home and calmly observed what was transpiring around me. Heck, it's only been a day...why am I feeling so solemn? I felt the urge to overlook the mission and just go explore around.

This wasn't my life, to begin with, I was just using Johnny's body to have a presence in this world, and with a task to accomplish. Once it's achieved, I'll be gone for good.

Then I thought; do I really have to go? Do I want to?

From my – the Ethan in this world's point of view, I had a sumptuous life that most people could only wish for: brains, looks, wealth, and unimaginable friends. Out of the blue, the ringing sound of a bell chimed in my head as I took a trip down memory lane.

'- because you might have the chance to avoid your death.'

That's right! That was what the strange lady had informed me on the train! Without a second thought, I sprang joyfully with a fist high up in the air, earning perplexed and startled glances from some of the passersby. I shrunk in embarrassment and paced quicker as I continued to reflect.

What about the Ethan on this Earth? Will he disappear if I end up succeeding? How about Johnny – will he return and browbeat Ethel again? After some reconsideration, this idea wasn't so great after all. I sighed and pursed my lips. Maybe I should just find out who my murderer is and get a new life, but then Ethan will die! What if I-

"Ow!"

A loud 'pop' resonated in the wind but I barely heard it as I lost balance and slipped on my butt. I arched my back in agony and turned to face the stranger who had bumped into me. But my eyes caught sight of the bag of chips on the platform; the package was split open and its contents were dispersed on the brick pavement, soiled with dirt. "Awe man-"

"Look, I know you were never the type to be street-smart or whatever, but this is a straight walkway! Do you not have eyes?!" the stranger had scoffed rudely at me. He was already on his feet, dusting off whatever grime that got onto his clothes.

I had soon acknowledged the stranger's voice as Dylan's. "Dylan?" I glanced up and gawked at him in astonishment. He sighed and turned away.

"Are you going to sit there forever or what?"

"Oh-"

I lifted myself off the floor, immediately towering over the male before me. I dusted my clothes then turned to peer at him. "What...what are you doing here?" I asked, still feeling a tad bit cumbersome after our dispute a while ago.

He arched a brow, seemingly aggravated. "Uhm...I work at the pub in that block?" he nods somewhere behind him.

"I can't believe you forgot," he let out another scoff and let out a small laugh in disbelief.

Dylan works?

"Sorry, I think my brain short-circuited, I really can't remember anything," I chuckled apologetically as I rubbed the back of my head, the torn snack neglected on the soil between us.

Dylan gave me a wary look. "...even the secret?" he asked cautiously and I nodded. He sighed in relief.

"Ah," he smirked and recommenced his walk to the convenience store I had appeared from, walking past me coolly. "That's good," I knitted my brows together.

"What do you mean? Was I not supposed to know what it was?" I stumbled in my step as I turned around to accompany him into the shop. I needed to purchase a new bag of chips, anyway.

"No, it's not that," he affirms, pushing open the glass door and stepping into the air-conditioned room. I held the door open and followed behind.

"Then what is it? Was it some kind of drunken mistake?" we made a beeline into the junk food aisle.

"Excuse me? Everyone knows I don't fancy alcohol, even though I'm working in a pub. I guess your brain really shrunk in size," I pouted as I watched him swipe several packs of 'healthy' sweet potato chips into his shopping basket. I speedily seized one for myself.

"I'll take one of these," I threw him an innocent grin when he shifted and delivered me an unimpressed glare.

"So, what is the secret? Can't you tell me again?" Dylan turned to the frozen goods section and shook his head, opening one of the fridges.

"I'd rather not," he bent down to look for frozen blueberries.

"Why not?" I pushed further with furrowed brows, following his every move.

"Because," Dylan stood up and faced me with an unreadable expression, tossing the packet into his basket casually.

"I cannot bear to see that look on your face again."

-

With an exhale, I laid on the untidy bed I had left tousled this morning; I got an earful from Johnny's mum for it. Moving my fingers through my hair, I contemplated what Dylan had told me in the store. What look?

Whatever the secret was, it got to have something to do with Ethel, considering his reaction during our fight earlier. I quickly rose from the bed and fished for the spiral notebook I had used to write down Ethel's number. "-3143." I hit the save button on the screen but what popped out made my pupils widen.

'You have saved this number as "betrayer". Would you like to save it again?'

"Betrayer?" my index finger hovered over the button as I studied the notification over and over again. Suddenly, an idea protruded into my head.

The chat history!

Eagerly, I switched tabs and scrolled through his contacts. 'Betrayer', tap.

After going all the way to the top and scanning every message carefully down to the most recent one, I groaned in defeat and collapsed onto my pillows.

The chat history was loaded with threats aimed directly at Ethel. Messages like 'Don't come to school today.' and 'Meet me in the field after school.' were the most well-known.

Wait, after school…was that why he was so distrustful about my request to meet up after classes ended? I clicked my tongue in disgust.

Why was Johnny doing this?

Still unsettled, I decided to go through Johnny's contacts and chat histories. It was invasive but I needed to find out what the secret was, but it wasn't like Dylan to disclose something that significant through text. Still, with slim hope, I clicked on his name and wordlessly scrolled through the exchanged words.

17 December 2021 was when Johnny and Dylan last texted. That was a day before the carnival – two and a half days ago. I thoroughly read the message; eyebrows knitted in concentration.

'You can't tell anyone about it.' Dylan had warned Johnny. All the latter replied was a thumbs-up emoji. Not very persuasive but I suppose that was how Johnny spoke through text because Dylan accepted it and said nothing else. If I had remembered clearly, the others had informed me that Johnny was Dylan's most trusted friend so it made sense…wait,

I was supposed to concentrate on the mission! Why am I deliberating over something so trivial and irrelevant like this? I cried in difficulty and kicked my legs on the white mattress.

Firstly, I had to find out exactly when the carnival ends and how much time I had left in this world. Ethel was the first person to come into mind when I thought about who to ask. It made sense since I was pretty sure all of them would give me the same reply as Dylan:

'It ends on Ethan's birthday.' helpful.

I speedily changed Ethel's contact name on Johnny's phone and initiated a new conversation.

'Hello :)' it looked pleasant enough, the smiley was a bonus point. Sent.

I nervously tapped my nails on the screen as I waited for his reply, biting my lower lip in hope.

There was no response from him for the next eight minutes so I grew restless and cast the phone onto the nightstand, deciding to check again tomorrow morning. I drifted off to sleep pretty quickly after that.

-

I was unpleasantly awoken by a rough shake on my shoulders. Was it morning already? I murmured in annoyance and tried to open my eyes; the voice that spoke to me was somewhat muffled. "…what?"

"Did you not hear me, you brat?" the voice scoffed, and it did not take long for me to recognize the voice. I was confounded. "I asked,

why are you in my body?!"

"Johnny?!"