Chapter Four - Goodnight Kiss

Color bathed the sky while anxiety gnawed at my stomach. I sat inches away from the large windows that ran from floor to ceiling. I dug my toes into the lush carpet while trying to contemplate what on earth I was going to do to get myself out of this mess.

As the sky grew dark, I worried what the night would bring. Although it was foolish, I hoped that this room was truly mine and that Alex wouldn't come looking for me. I was terrified that although Alex had seemed kind and harmless enough during the daylight, that things would change once night fell. That this facade would drop and the man that had abducted me from my room and pressed his lips to my throat as he drugged me would come out to play once again.

With each passing moment, the world around me grew darker. I strained to see any lights in the distance as the scenery before me faded to black. Something to give me direction for when I had a chance to run. But there was nothing. There were no street lights here to filter in through thick curtains. No passing cars causing shadows to race across the room. There was no light except for the stars above tonight. It was so dark I couldn't see my hand if it were an inch from my nose.

So, when a dim light suddenly poured into the room from underneath the bedroom door, I startled, my fear coming to the forefront of my thoughts once again. Alex must have flicked on the hallway light because I could hear his footsteps growing closer. My heart thrashed wildly in my chest as the door opened.

Alex seemed surprised to see me on the floor. "What are you doing over there?" he asked, amusement in his voice. I didn't answer. Couldn't answer. "I thought you'd be asleep. You came up here hours ago. It's almost midnight." Now, that did surprise me. It seemed like not that long ago that I had watched the sun set.

"I didn't realize it was so late," I said, once I thought my voice would come out steady.

"I was hoping you'd come back after you had calmed down so I could show you around. When you didn't come back, I figured you needed your space to figure things out," he said. He switched a small lamp on before closing the bedroom door and locking it with some sort of code. I tried not to panic as I stared at the locked door. He obviously intended to spend the night here with me.

"I do," I said. "Need my space, that is." My intention was clear, and he picked up on it immediately. He met my stare with a sympathetic look on his face.

"Jamie, I can't do that. I need you to be comfortable around me. Part of that is making sure you know what to expect here," he said, stepping towards me.

"Don't you dare fucking touch me," I said, venom lacing my words.

"You really are a little spitfire. You know that?" he asked, a pleased grin on his face as he stalked towards me.

"I mean it. I don't care what plan you have cooked up in your head. If you touch me, you're going to regret it," I threatened, my heart racing as he drew closer. I had no way to enforce it. No weapons. He stood at least five inches taller than me and twice now had proven that I wasn't strong enough to fight him off. He could do whatever the hell he wanted to me and there was nothing I could do to stop him. Tears pricked at my eyes.

"I won't hurt you," he said calmly, all teasing gone from his eyes. I hadn't been able to move. My muscles had locked into place as he approached. He crouched in front of me, his fingers brushing over my arm.

"Please… Please don't touch me," I plead with a whisper, pulling away. My back was now pressed against the window. I had waited too long to get out of arms reach.

"Jamie, I'm not going to hurt you," he said with a soothing voice. I clung to the hope that he wasn't a monster. That he wouldn't force himself on me. "Come here." He held a hand out. I stared at it, lips trembling. "Jamie," he said more sharply, anger starting to bleed into his tone. He hadn't hurt me yet, but he hadn't used that tone with me before either. Fear prompted me to put my hand in his. He brought it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against my knuckles. "Good girl," he praised. I followed as he rose to his feet, terrified.

"What are you going to do to me?" I asked, panic clear in my voice. My thoughts were racing, playing out every possible scenario.

"I don't want you to be terrified of me Jamie, but I need to make sure you're comfortable with me. The more time we spend together physically, the easier your transition into this new life will be," he said, running his hands over my stiff arms. Goose flesh covered what felt like every inch of my body. I tried to step away, but his hands locked around my biceps firmly as I started to move.

"I don't want this," I said calmly, managing to meet his eyes. I searched for any hint of hesitation in his gaze. There was none.

"I don't care," he said softly. "This is what is best for you." His blue-grey eyes held my stare, unflinching. His pupils dilated as they flicked over my face. In the dim light, the contrast between the light and shadows on his face was dramatic. His gaze burned me. It felt too intimate. He released my arms, allowing me to step back. I stood there, next to the bed, unsure of what to do. I certainly wasn't going to climb into bed. "Take off your clothes."

"What?" I asked, startled.

"It's time for bed, Jamie. Take off your clothes," he said. I could tell he had tried to use a calm voice, but it came out lower, the words leaving him in a rumble.

"What do you mean?" I asked, though I had understood perfectly fine. "These are my pajamas."

"I'd rather sleep naked with you," he said, raising a hand to brush my hair away from my face. I wanted to slap it away but couldn't find the courage.

"I'd rather not," I said. His fingers traced my jawline as he stepped close to me again. His arm circled my waist before I had a chance to put any distance between us. His head dipped towards mine. I quickly leaned away. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I realize this is hard for you, Jamie," he said, meeting my eyes once again. "I know you're self conscious and that you're scared of intimacy. I want to help you work on it."

"I don't want help," I argued, trying to push him away. "And I certainly didn't ask for it."

"Jamie, I don't want to fight with you tonight. I'm tired. But, if I have to tie you down and cut your clothes off of you, I'm going to be wide awake and have a really hard time taking things slow with you. I suggest you listen to me," he said. He didn't sound angry. He sounded aroused, which was something I feared a bit more at the moment.

"Do I have to be completely naked?" I whispered.

"Yes," he said bluntly, leaving no room for negotiation.

"Then can you leave your clothes on?" I asked, praying he would give me something to settle my mind.

"No, Jamie," he said, frustration entering his voice. "When we get in this bed, we are both going to be naked."

I had to know. "Are you going to rape me?" I held my breath as I waited for his response. He hadn't lied to me yet as far as I could tell.

"I don't plan on doing anything like that tonight," he reassured me.

"Then what are you going to do?" I asked. I was stalling. I knew it. He knew it.

"Will it ease your mind or make you more anxious if I tell you?" he asked. He seemed to be searching my face for something. I swallowed, trying to decide.

"It'll help if I know exactly what you're going to do," I said quietly. I didn't want to know. Not really. But, not knowing made everything worse.

"Okay," he said, pulling his shirt over his head. My heart sputtered in my chest at the sight, briefly distracted from my fears. He was so beautifully sculpted. Light and shadows once again drew out his features. Heat crept up my neck. He stared at me, watching my face. "I want to hold you and feel your skin against mine," he said. "I want to show you that I can control myself." My heart rate eased a little at his words. At least he wasn't planning to force himself on me.

"Please Alex," I tried one last time. "I don't want to do this. Can I please just sleep with my clothing tonight?"

"No," he said. "Time's up. What's it going to be? Are you going to get undressed and get into bed, or am I handcuffing you to the bed and cutting them off?" The words were harsh, but his tone wasn't. He sounded tired.

"Doing it myself," I whispered in response. He watched as I stood there, frozen. "Can you at least turn around or turn off the light?" I asked. My heart was a racing, stumbling.

He didn't answer me for a moment. "Jamie, I've seen you naked at least a hundred times."

"Please," I plead, my voice cracking. "Just this once. You might feel like you know me, but I don't know you and I'm scared. I've never been naked in front of anyone before." I could see the indecision on his face. "Alex, please," I whispered.

"Fine," he said, coming towards me. He brought his hand to my face. I tried not to flinch back from his touch. He stroked along my cheek before resting his hand against my neck. He pulled me in slightly, pressing his lips against my forehead. When he released me and turned his back to me, my relief was short lived. The panic returned full force, but I couldn't let it take over. If he ended up cuffing me to the bed, I wouldn't be able to do anything to stop him if he tried to do anything more than hold me.

Taking a deep breath, I quickly undressed, leaving my shorts, underwear and t-shirt on the floor. I slipped under the blankets, pulling them tightly around me. He waited a few more moments before turning around. He glanced at my clothing on the floor before taking his time looking at me. I shivered.

I felt hyper-aware with the sheets against my naked flesh. I could feel every inch of my skin, it seemed. Even with the thick blankets, I felt cold. I could feel my nipples tightening into hard beads. I prayed he wouldn't see them and get the wrong idea.

"God, you're beautiful," he breathed out. "I've dreamed of seeing you like this, in my bed, naked and waiting for me." I stiffened, wishing he would stop looking at me like he was going to devour me. My eyes went wide as he unbuttoned and lowered his jeans. He wore black boxer briefs. They clung to him. His erection strained against the fabric, demanding attention. I swallowed the hard lump that suddenly formed in my throat.

He stepped out of the jeans, picking them up along with my discarded clothing. He made his way over to a basket by the door. I couldn't take my eyes off of him as, with his back to me, he removed his last item of clothing. Every fucking inch of him was perfect. Of course it was. I knew I should avert my eyes before he turned around, but I couldn't tear my gaze away.

Something lodged in my throat when he faced me once again. I tried not to look, but it was impossible to ignore. There was no way that would ever fit inside me. It wasn't just the length that terrified me. He was unbelievably thick too. He was clean shaven, so there was no mistaking his size. His cock bobbed slightly as he came to the bed. I forced my eyes away, rolling over to turn towards the window. My muscles were so tightly wound, it felt like my bones were creaking.

The bed dipped with his weight. He shifted closer to me, his thighs brushing against the back of mine. I flinched away. "Jamie," he said softly. His fingertips dragged against my forearms and up to my shoulders. My breathing was shallow. I didn't know what to do. His lips brushed against my ear, his warm breath fanning over me. "Come here," he whispered, his words tickling my skin.

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to cover as much of my skin as I could. As much as I wanted to pretend I hadn't heard his gentle command, I feared what would happen if I didn't obey it. Trying to steady my breath, I rolled over to face him. The arms wrapped around me were now pressed up against his chest. His erection was trapped between us, thick, hot, and impossibly hard. I shifted, not wanting to be pressed against him quite so intimately, but his cock throbbed with my movements. "Please stay still," he grunted. He wrapped an arm around me, his fingers pressing against my bare back. His body was like a furnace, radiating heat. "I'm trying to control myself, but it's harder than I thought it would be," he said.

"I'm sorry," I stuttered, apologizing yet again for no reason. He smiled, his hand tracing my spine.

"You don't need to be," he soothed. "I just don't want to push for too much too soon." His eyes feathered across my exposed skin like a physical touch.

"Can you turn the light off?" I asked. I felt naked, was naked, underneath his gaze. Something he seemed very aware of.

After a moment of hesitation, he agreed. "Yes." Relief flooded me. Somehow, the dark made things easier. His fingers brushed against my bare hip as he rose from the bed. A moment later, the room plunged into darkness. My heart lurched as the bed once again dipped. "Jamie?" His voice came from just a foot or so away, though I couldn't see him. My breath left me in a rush. I wanted to stay quiet. I wanted to pretend for just a moment that he wouldn't be able to find me if I stayed still and silent. His weight settled beside me as his hands sought me out.

When he found me, he pulled me against his chest, intertwining his legs with mine. I jolted as one of his thick thighs slid in between mine and pressed firmly against my sex. I forgot about keeping my breasts covered in favor of trying to push Alex away. "Stop!" I choked out. The feeling of someone else's flesh pressed against me in such an intimate way was foreign. His thigh flexed as an arm slid beneath me and around my waist. My fingers dug into his thigh in an attempt to push it away. Instead, the arm that had wound its way around me pulled me closer. My breasts were now pressed firmly against his chest, though I tried to push away. A low, rumbling sound of satisfaction left his mouth on a sigh.

I turned my face up towards him in an attempt to speak, but instead, his lips came down hard on mine. I was overwhelmed, breathless, and confused as his mouth moved against mine, teasing. My skin prickled, buzzing like a swarm of bees. I tipped my head back further, trying to escape his mouth. His lips left me for just a moment before descending on my throat. My stomach fluttered, my blood heating. My breathing was growing ragged. "Please stop," I panted. The room was too hot, and my mind was both clouded and racing.

He nipped at me and placed hot, open kisses against my flesh. I whimpered as one of his hands wove its way into my hair before closing in a tight fist. Oh god. He pulled my face once again to his, but this time his kiss was more gentle. His fingers relaxed in my hair, massaging my scalp instead. His other hand stroked along my spine once again in a soothing manner. I fought to catch my breath as he softly pressed his lips against my jaw and below my ear.

After doing so, he relaxed into the mattress beside me, releasing a deep sigh. My body pulsed and thrummed. "What the hell was that?" I asked, breathless. My mind was reeling, still trying to figure out what had just happened.

He chuckled, sounding as if he too were trying to catch his breath. "Just a goodnight kiss," he said, pressing a quick, but gentle kiss to my lips one last time before resting his arm on my waist. "Good night Jamie."