#4. Back

"It's good to have you back, Miss. Harding." The principal, Mrs. Stone, says while pulling me into a hug.

Taken aback, I stand still unable to return her hug. Dad clears his throat, reminding Mrs. Stone, he is still present.

"My apologies. I'm just so happy to have her back. She was too much of a gem to let go." She grins excitedly at my dad.

I stare at her, bewildered at her excited state. I never thought she liked me this much.

"I'm sure you've already gotten your books." She informs me, leading me to the schools' shop so I can get my uniforms.

"We'll be right back, Mr. Harding." She says, leading me out of the room.

Dad hugs me and leaves as he is already late for work.

I'm really trying to be strong right now but every step I'm taking, makes it harder for me to breathe.

I wring my hands to the point where I feel like my skin is about to come off. I feel someone's hands on mine.

I look up to see the Mrs. Stone's face. Startled, I stare at her confused.

"Don't be scared, okay? I'm very happy to have you back." She reassures me.

I give her a weak smile. "Thank you."

She flashes me a warm grin and leads me to the shop. She opens the door and gestures for me to enter.

Entering the shop, I see two other students. My pulse quickens! Please God, it shouldn't be any of them. I pull my hoodie over my face.

"Oh my, Reina. You're back." I freeze, alarmed. Please God, I'm not ready to face any of them yet.

The air in my lungs does not move and I'm finding it difficult to breathe. Every passing second is agony.

Someone pulls me into a hug. Without knowing I look up at them and realize I worried for no reason.

"I missed you, Reina." The admin officer strokes my back.

Memories of the conversations and time we spent together come rushing back. She is the only adult I trusted here. I hug her back, tears threaten to fall from my eyes, as I am overwhelmed by the nostalgia.

"Me too, Adele." I say, my voice shaky.

She hugs me tighter. "Don't cry, okay?"

I manage to swallow the tears back and break the hug.

"Her classes start by 9am. Its 8:50, you have 10 mins left, so make it quick." The principal says before leaving.

On cue, Adele leaves to get the uniform, leaving me alone with the two other students.

"Hi. I'm Jade." One of them says heartily.

Her long black hair falls to the side as she stretches out her hand to shake mine. Her brown eyes twinkle, as she flashes me a cheery smile.

Hesitating for a second, I slowly stretch out my hands to meet hers. I'm not making the mistake of trusting anyone blindly. I'd learnt it may cost me my life at the end.

She grabs my hand, shaking it enthusiastically.

"She's Zoey. Nice to meet you, Reina." Jade points to the other girl who is staring at her phone.

Adele comes back with our uniforms, abruptly ending our conversation.

I silently thank God. Jade is too cheerful to be real. And the second girl, Zoey, doesn't look like she cares.

Adele hands out our uniforms and badges. She gives me a reassuring smile, promising to catch up with me later.

I walk out of the room faster than usual. My hoodie and nose mask conceal my face from anyone who passes by.

In less than a minute, I arrive at the female restroom. I enter one the stalls, locking it behind me. I let out a sigh of relief before falling to the ground. Finally, the air in my lungs moves freely.

Taking out my uniform, nostalgia hits me once more as I lay my eyes on the familiar white and sky-blue uniform. The skirt consists of beige and sky-blue stripes. The shirt is starch white with long sleeves. A tie, with the same color as the skirt, finishes the ensemble.

Checking my phone for the time, I realize I only have three minutes left before my classes start. I reluctantly change out of my black hoodie and jeans, hurriedly putting on my uniform.

I put on my socks with a pair of white sneakers. Unlocking the door, I leave the stall with my bag which had my clothes and books in it.

I look at myself in the mirror and I see a girl who has been destroyed brutally. Yet, she is trying to get herself together. I'm trembling, scared of what might happen today. Will I really be able to fight back? Am I digging my own grave by coming back?

I realize my skirt is really short. I couldn't blame Adele. After all I left school for quite a long time.

The bell rings, interrupting my train of thoughts, reminding me that I have a class to get to. I feel my panic attack starting to resurface and I remember his words.

"Breathe. In and out. Focus on just one thing."

Heeding his words, I take out my timetable from my bag. Glancing at myself one more time in the mirror, I let loose my hair from a ponytail and let it fall on my shoulders. The same spark from before starts resurfacing.

The first class I have is Math, with Mr. Clifford.

I'm walking out of the bathroom rather sluggishly, thinking maybe time will fly and school will end before I make it to class.

My heart keeps beats faster by the minute and I'm about to bolt back to the restroom when that annoying cheerful voice calls out my name.

Jade.

"Reina! I've being looking for you. We're in the same class." She yells excitedly, running to me, whilst the other girl, Zoey enters a different classroom. I guess she wasn't in our class.

I gape at Jade, perplexed at how optimistic she is. She links our arms together as soon as she catches up with me.

Dragging me with her, she says, "Come on, we're already late."

Too stunned to react, she drags me along the hallway with her.

***

Striding down the pedestrian lane, I fall to the ground and sit on the bare floor.

I'm dead. I know it. I am nothing better than a living corpse if I came to school without the drugs.

My debts kept piling up. How long would I steal from my parents so I could purchase them? I was getting into it deeper, and I knew it. But if I stopped giving them the drugs, that meant I would die.

I was in a dilemma. Confused, troubled, and unsettled. There was no one I could turn to. I couldn't even tell my parents because it would only make matters worse.

I picked myself up from the ground and kept walking to a destination I dreaded but I had no choice to be there.

If only I had a chance to go back in time and make a different choice my story would never have turned out this way.

"Watch out." I hear someone yell

I turn around but then it's too late.