Blue Lock: The Destroyer

Chapters are way too short, doesn't make sense for a defensive minded player to be scouted for Blue Lock as they are all strikers, after three or four chapters nothing even happened, just a lot of monologue and boring text. Writing quality as a whole is good and articulate, just need to improve pacing and presentation. Good Luck

it kinda feels like your telling me a summary of everything that was supposed to be in the chapter instead of an actual chapter and it's quite hard to read that way.

Listen this ain’t no 5 star novel gang, I’m honestly just having fun with it, a defense minded player joining blue lock sounds cool to me, I love defense its my favorite part in all sports, also yes I know the chapters are short I’ll work on it, also don’t just say too short tell me how I can improve my character and his interactions with others I might make him a mute to not talk at all lol

Putting aside the length, I have to agree with everybody else. The story reads more like a logbook than any thing else. It reads like he is talking in past tense even though the grammar suggests otherwise, like he is recounting what happened instead of being in the the present. The grammar itself is ok, the paragraphs are bulky and sometimes you'll forget some punctuation when people are talking.

the chapters are very short and the story does not make much sense blue lock would not call a defender for a project that is focused on creating the best striker and the mc sincerely as a player but that he is a monster physically and is a good defender that doesn't change the fact that he seems to be made of glass since basically he's just not a professional because he keeps getting hurt a tip for the author if he wanted to write about a defensive player the mc could be a striker and during the blue lock he would turn a defender