Chapter 6.3

- Baha.

- Grim, I have a plan. But we have to call Waggy right away. If everything works out, not only can we win the game, we'll make Waggy proud. - I turn sharply towards the exit and pull Grim with me.

- Stop Baha! Will you at least tell me what you've come up with?! - Grim barks, but continues to run.

- Apparently for the sake of buying a rat eagle, the Black Rodent trainer was saving on everything. He apparently couldn't even buy food for his players. It all went to this mutant. So at the start of the game, they were drinking litres of water just to keep their hunger at bay! - I'm sharing my analysis with him on the run.

- And? What about it? How does that help us?! - not understanding what I'm getting at, the Grimm asked.

- Because they want to eat more than they want to play! We take a bunch of Waggy's snacks and start throwing them all over the field or just shoving them into the opponents' hands. While they're eating, we'll score touchdowns. We'll do it again until they're dead or the game's over. - Grimm realised what I was really up to and his face lit up.

- It's gonna work! I see Waggy over there! Come on, hurry up, halftime's gonna be over soon.

We burst into the open-air cafeteria like elephants into a china shop. Waggy got scared and almost choked on his sandwich. Patting them on the back and waiting for them to come to their senses.

The smile on his face grew wider and wider by the minute.

- Great! This kind of marketing will take my brand to the next level! Guys, I'm in! I've got just the cheese and crab appetiser option! I'll get it! - With incredible speed for his weight and height, Waggy ran off, shoving everyone as he went.

- Hmm, a great blitzer died in him. If I hadn't seen him now, I'd never have believed he could run like that. - Grim chuckled, and I just laughed at his phrase.

Waggy didn't let us down, and in a couple of minutes the guys were shovelling snack bags with a crab and a big piece of cheese in its claws. We managed to finish all the preparations at the last second and ran towards the field.

Already while we were setting up we could see the scavengers starting to turn their noses up. And the rat ogre was almost waterfalling with saliva. The whistle, the referee and the kicking of the ball was heard.

But instead of the expected fight, we started throwing food around. And after that, any resistance from the Skaven was forgotten. They were busy looking for, catching or fighting each other for food. Those running through the ditches had more than enough to pick up snacks from the ground or snatch them out of the hands of gawking co-commanders, which played a cruel trick on them. Angry that the ditch runners had taken the lion's share of the snacks for themselves, they were attacked by their own. One less problem, judging by the torn tail and scraps of cloth flying upwards.

And the rat ogre turned out to be the best thing ever. And the key role in this was played by my agility, or rather, that it was not the best. The snack bags couldn't be scattered to distract the rat ogre. A couple of them got caught on the spikes on the helmet of the skaven next to him and some of the food spilled out right onto him, getting stuck in the crevices of his armour.

The smell of food deprived the rat ogre of its mind, if it was there at all, and it pounced on the poor thing, which was covered in food and smelled so good. The rat ogre began to vomit and savour the long-forgotten taste of meat and the feeling of coming satiety. Rat Ogre managed to eat a couple of pieces of his former teammate's flesh before he wanted to try the delicious smelling head. But he forgot about the spike on his helmet, so when his jaws closed on the head, the spike with the snack bag stuck on it went through his mouth and into his brain. Rat Ogre died almost immediately and fell to the ground with the half-eaten body of his teammate clamped in his mouth.

Apparently luck was on my side today, for instead of just distracting the big guy I managed to send him to the grave and take another rat with me. The good news didn't end there. The Skaven were so busy eating and fighting over it that they could have rolled out the red carpet to the scoring area.

Our thrower, deciding not to take any chances, handed me the ball and I, not wanting to waste any time ran into the end zone. It was the easiest touchdown, nobody tried to stop me. I even felt like the Scavengers were watching me like spectators in the stands crunching their food.

After the touchdown, the referee blew his whistle, and some halflings ran up to us and started handing out new bags of food. Apparently Waggy decided he needed to repeat this promo. We didn't mind and the skaven were almost jumping for joy. Even their coach's threats couldn't get them to play. What was more important to them was that they were about to EAT. A LOT. FOR FREE.

The free food tactic worked every time. The refs would only adjust their caps and try to ignore the munching players. If the referee Hafling's pockets were full of food so that they fell out, his assistant goblin was busy counting the coins in his wallet.

And the Skaven coach, who was trying to get on the field and make the others play, was beaten and gagged with empty snack bags.

At a certain point I got bored of running around and watching scavengers eating. So the rest of the touchdown match was done by the others. And I just stood there crunching on Waggy's snacks. And I did it without fear of a bottle or a rock flying at me from the stands. All the spectators were just sitting there and just munching on free food. That's how Waggy's Snacks made a name for itself. And we won because of the food. Free food is power!

But the crab and cheese wasn't bad. Crunch.

Carroburg Jackasses 6-3 Black Rodents.