The Stranger

Stranger.

There were times that a stranger becomes a family. And will be rooted deeply in our hearts. However, that stranger can be taken away, and you will be left with no right to make him stay.

I am married to a soldier and was gifted with five children, all girls. My husband was destined in our place for seven years. However, when a reshuffle was done, he was transferred to a farther place.

At first, he always calls us in the evening. And will send greetings coated with confection in the morning. During those times, I am very confident that I and my husband will still be as sweet as before, even in a long-distance relationship.

However, a year after, he changed. The everyday call turned into once a week call. The sweet salutations turned into nothingness. I thought that it is because of his busy schedule. However, when once a week turned into once a month, my heart bleeds.

I always pray for me to be wrong. And when my children will ask me about him, I will excuse him with good reasons. And every time, I looked at my children's eyes, I am afraid to be true, for I am afraid to see them cry. Most of all, I wanted them to grow in a happy complete family, for I have seen a lot of broken youths that grew in broken families. And as a mother, I don't want my children to be one of them. I don't want to see them destroying their life mourning for us their parents.

Thus, I kept my suspicion to the abyss of my heart. And I tried to believe hard, that he is only busy being a hero. However, after another year, the once a month turned into no more. I was worried. Thus, I called his friend and asked, "Is my husband alive?" And he said, "yes."

I wanted to ask him for me to confirm one thing. However, I was scared of the truth, leading my question to be unspoken. That day, when all my children were at school, I cried to my heart's content.

After two years, in the month of February, I heard a familiar voice asking me to open the door. I slowly opened it and was astounded to see my husband's face. And when I gazed my eyes down, I saw a little boy hiding behind him.

I am not dumb, not to guess who he is. Thus, I locked the door with a loud bang. Suddenly, after it, I heard a loud cry. And behind the door, I cried with him. When I heard the boy crying continuously, I was softened. Therefore, I opened the door and let them in.

I know he has a mistress, but when I heard him admit it, still, I wasn't ready, and the pain is still unbearable. I slapped him and asked him to leave. However, he kneeled and said, "I'm sorry but please accept him. His mother went abroad with a foreigner and his grandparents don't want to look after him. Please do not forgive me, but I beg you, please look after him."

He cried and begged me. And his tears melted my heart, so I agreed to his request. And, when the evening came, I told my children about their brother. And maybe, they inherit my soft heart, for they all agreed to let him stay with us. And maybe, their young heart was too kind, for they easily forgive their father. Children really are bound of pure love and will forgive easily.

I was glad to see them rejoice with their father. But I admit, there is anger in my heart towards my husband. So, when he stayed for a week, I show no warmth towards him, even to his child. And when he left to work, it feels like I can breathe.

And every time that I will see his two-year-old son, I can grope a bit of anger in my heart. However, when the boy smiles at me, it feels good. And when he called me mama, the anger was healed. When he cries for me to carry him, my pain was cured. When he slept with me, my wounds were closed. And as days go by, I treated him mine.

When people called me a martyr for accepting him, I will tell them, "the parent's sin is not a child's sin." When I hear people gossiping about his roots, I am very hurt, especially when I heard them named my son as a bastard of infidelity. Actually, I slapped my neighbors' faces for saying such words.

As a mother, having my child to be bullied is a murder. As a mother, I wanted my child to be loved, not to be judged. Thus, as my son grows, I always remind him that he is loved, he is cared for, and he is special. Also, I always guide his five sisters to treat him well.

When he was already in his seventh grade, he asked, "mama, our neighbor told me that I am my father's bastard. Is that true?" That night, I did my best to tell him the truth without hurting him too much. When he cried, I cried with him. And within the entire night, I enveloped him in my embrace. If I could, I will take his pain instead.

After it, he changed a little, it's as if he is too shy towards us. But as his mother, I did my best to make him feel welcome. For as his mother, all I wanted is for him to be happy. Thus, every night, I told him how much I love him. Every morning, I told him that he isn't different, he isn't dirty. I kept showing my great love until he smiled as wide as before.

And when I thought everything is fine, one day, a woman came and demanding me to give her child back. I didn't agree of course. Thus, I dragged her away. And a week after, a subpoena was sent to us, telling us to appear in court. And after almost a month, the court verdicts to honor her right as a biological mother. Thus, I was left letting my son go with her.

After that tragedy, I shortly lost my sanity. As a mother, losing a child is horrendous. It is more painful than knowing my husband's infidelity. It is as if half of my life was taken. It is as if a knife is thumping my heart endlessly. I run after the car crying, hoping that the woman will pity me. And maybe, she will let her son be mine.

It took me a year to fully accept that he was gone. It took me a year to heal from hallucinating his existence around the house. It took me a year for me to sleep without dreaming of that grievous day. It took me a year to stop crying secretly. It took me a year to accept that I cannot be with him.

However, after four years, while I was cooking for dinner, a soft knock sounded on the door. I rushed to open it, and when I saw who the person is, I cried out of joy and hugged him. During that time, my heart was overflowing with joy.

When he came back to me, the happier was I. When I heard him call me mama, it's as if I am ready to die. When he said, he will stay with us, it feels like paradise.

They said before that I did my husband a great favor. However, they were wrong, for that little boy is one of the greatest favors that was granted to me. For because of him, I have felt a son's love. And because of him, I learned a lot of things, specifically acceptance and how to be a true mother.

I realized that being a mother is not by who gives birth but by giving love to a child. And if I can travel back to the time, again, I will accept him. And if I will be reincarnated, I wanted him to be my son again. For he may not be my egg cell, but, he will still be my one and only rose.