Fight Me! (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

BOOOO!

Crows and ravens across the battlefield, feasting on the rotting corpses of humans and beasts, flapped their wings at once and rose to the sky in fright as a deep and powerful war horn announced the beginning.

"Hmm, that's quite a sight," Gerald murmured to himself as he watched the army from the bird's eye view. Below him were hundreds of thousands of soldiers, ready for battle. After the sound of the horn, an eerie silence descended on the place. Only the rattling of armor and soldier fidgeting in place was heard.

"It's finally happening, oh boy!" Gerald rubbed his hands together as the excitement became too great. This was way better than any movie of virtual reality battle he ever experienced. And how could it be any different?

This was actual life, with real people, and real lives on the line! It was so much fun!

'Ops, I might be losing my mind, haha!' Gerald laughed internally and then attempted to distract himself by searching for familiar faces among the crowd.

'Don't know that guy, same with him, and him… What about- I think I saw that guy once somewhere… Meh, who cares.'

Then he noticed a group that was separated from the rest. "Is that…? That's the King, isn't it? And his four generals… What are they doing?"

The four strongest(probably) men in the Kingdom were on the ground, separated from the rest of the army. That might not seem too out of place, since the higher ranking commanders often stood back at a higher vantage point to direct the flow of battle, but these five were doing something... unusual.

"It's almost like they are performing a ritual. Why are they dancing like that, it looks so funny."

The four Guardians were moving in a circle around Robart III, bowing and waving, in what Gerald could best describe as some sort of a tribal dance.

But after watching them for a few minutes, he got bored as nothing appeared to be happening. Instead, he noticed a small group of armored riders split from the army and gallop towards the forest where the beasts made their home.

The remaining half a million or so warriors remained standing just outside the city walls, in no hurry to move forward.

"Oh? I see! They weren't actually stupid enough to attack the monsters on their turf! That's good!" Gerald commented after coming to an understanding.

At first, he thought the entire army was going to march north, which would be insane, but no. The small group of riders was probably tasked with baiting monsters closer so they could be easily slaughtered with superior numbers.

"That sounds like fun," Gerald realized and quickly flew after them. "Guys, wait for me!" he hollered.

A few riders on the ground turned around after hearing the shout.

"What the fuck! Behind us! Incoming!" one of them shouted and gripped his weapon tightly. Soon even more of them turned around amid surprised exclamations.

"He's flying!"

"Is that a Demon?!"

"It's coming right at us!" The guy nearly shot an arrow as soon as he said that.

"Enough! Ignore him!" their leader ordered after catching a glance of the flying man.

"But, sir-"

"I said enough! I have received an order. If we see an unusual man on the battlefield, we are to ignore him and avoid his area at all costs," the commander spoke, not even bothering to turn around anymore.

They were closing in on the forest, and despite it being seemingly peaceful at the moment, they knew they just might die the moment they rode in.

"But sir, he's-"

"Avoid and ignore!" the commander cut him off. "Do that and you just might live long enough to see your ugly child again!"

"He's not that… ugly!" the guy protested.

The commander didn't respond. However, the absurd conversation lifted the morale somewhat. Those in the know looked at each other, trying to hold in their laughter, an action that didn't go unnoticed.

"… Okay fine, he's hideous, but that's beside the point!" the man admitted, seeing his comrades losing their shit. "Why weren't we notified before?"

"You know why," came the answer.

"I do?" the rider made a serious pondering expression. "I do?" he repeated, his brows furrowing as his brain worked unpaid overtime. "Is it because of my wife? Shit, what did she do this time?"

"It's because you can't keep your mouth shut, you dumbass! Now shut it, we are getting close!"

The plan was to quietly, as much as they could while riding horses, enter the forest and agro as many Orcs as possible. The hope was that the commotion would attract more and more of the beasts, triggering a chain reaction and making the monsters rush at them prematurely.

It was all going well for a while, they were just a few hundred meters from the dividing line between grasslands and the forest.

Then all plans went to shit.

"WOOOOOOO!" Gerald released an excited shout and plummeted from the sky.

"Shit! It's that guy, he's falling!"

The shout was like thunder in the rider's ears. Perhaps it was because they were expecting an attack from the front, and the shout from above frightened them, or maybe it was because the sound was amplified by fucking magic!

And as if that wasn't enough, the sky was suddenly lit ablaze by hundreds of Fireballs.

"Holy mother of-"

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! … You get the idea.

The forest line was absolutely decimated! Hundreds of fiery explosions went off at once, turning the once lush forest into Vietnam 2.0! Just instead of burning the trees with napalm, this time it was magic, both equally destructive.

"Blood for the blood god! Death for the dead king!" Gerald shouted as he landed heavily on the ground and ran towards the inferno.

"This guy, he's insane!"

"He's more than insane! He's lost his mind! He's crazy!"

"That means the same thing!"

"By Innos, guy, look! He's growing!"

"He's transforming into stone!"

The horse riders were so frightened, shocked, and in disbelief that they had to announce their every thought. They had to stop. The forest was completely engulfed in flames, and a madman in a stone suit was rushing in.

There was no way for them to continue!

"Retreat!" the commander shouted. "Do not try to be brave, our mission is over! Return back to the city now!" he said, and he was glad he did so.

Just a few short seconds later, hundreds of Orcs jumped out of the fire, thoroughly enraged. They roared and rushed at the only target nearby.

"Golem Armor, let's GOOOO!" Gerald roared, his shout amplified many times over, producing destructive sound waves strong enough to rupture eardrums. He stomped forward in his giant stone suit of armor, Toothpick in one hand, and the Titan's Bulwark in the other, looking like some ancient Spartan warrior in a mech suit.

"Come and get me, motherfuckers!"