Chapter 73

-Hinata's POV-

Sasuke wouldn't let me leave the table without finishing my meal, and I washed away the discomfort with wine. The Uchiha man sat back in his chair, studying me over his glass. Squeezing my eyes closed, I tossed back the rest of mine before taking another bite.

With a red face, I spoke around the pasta, "Y-You don't have to stare like that."

The sound of liquid sloshing brought my gaze back, and I realized he'd refilled my glass and his. Something in his eye stopped me from commenting on it, and I sighed defeatedly, taking another bite. At least the alcohol made my anxiety fade, so my stomach was no longer queasy.

Even after the meal, we sat there and finished the bottle of wine. Once the last drop left my glass, I felt warm from the drink but barely tipsy. Sasuke left the table first, going into the bathroom to brush his teeth so we could get ready for bed.

I sat and stared at the empty plate before me with a frown.

He knew all along. I'm so ashamed. In his eyes, I've probably reverted back to that weak girl who fainted when we first met. He's right that I shouldn't let those posts bother me, too.

When Sasuke exited the bathroom, I took my turn freshening up. The moment I stepped out afterward, I froze. The Uchiha man was facing the bed, halfway through the process of undressing so he could put pajamas on.

Something put my body in motion, and then I was crossing the room with his name on my lips. Dark eyes turned onto me in surprise, but he met my kiss as smooth as butter without hesitation. I don't know if it was his honesty earlier or maybe the wine, but I suddenly felt ready for anything.

His tongue tasted of icy mint, but everything else about him was scorching hot. Long fingers slid my t-shirt off, parting us for a fraction of a moment. Then my back hit the bed. We moved in tandem until my head hit the pillows, and then I let my hands explore Sasuke's body freely, as though this was the first time all over again. And it felt like the first time, too.

Despite feeling frantic, the room's aura was slow and sensual. I couldn't keep my eyes closed, and it seemed he couldn't either. Half-lidded, dark irises locked onto me as his tongue slid around mine, leading the complicated dance. I reached beneath me with one arm, unhooking my bra and tossing it carelessly off the side of the bed.

We haven't connected like this before, not with this level of emotion.

His fingers tickled as they ran slowly down my body to my hips, where he hooked his fingers beneath the clothing there and began pulling them off. Our kiss parted as he tossed my pajamas away, and our eyes remained locked as he undressed the rest of the way before coming back between my arms and legs so I could kiss him again.

Every brush of his skin against mine set my soul aflame.

Minutes passed, both of us warming up further before our lips finally parted. Sasuke brushed his nose against mine, "Hina…." His tone was somewhere between tortured and adoring, making me fall even more in love with him than I already am. I returned the gesture, unable to tear my gaze away.

Understanding came to us.

Sasuke then dipped to press slow, passionate kisses into my neck while his hand slid between my legs to massage my most sensitive place. My fingers tangled in his hair and held onto his shoulder as my breathing picked up in response to his expertise.

After a moment, he came back up to meet my gaze. I nodded, realizing he was giving me the opportunity to back out. So, I watched as he lined himself up, one hand on my knee and the other on the bed near my waist.

A pressure erupted almost instantly, making me hiss. Sasuke removed his hand from my knee and hovered over me, kissing my lips sweetly as he slowly worked himself inside. Tears fell down the sides of my face at the stinging pain, but once he was fully sheathed, I could tell it wouldn't get worse, that it'd eventually fade.

My focus was shaken by slightly trembling fingers caressing my jaw, moving slowly back into my hair. My eyes crept open to see that Sasuke's were squeezed shut. For some reason, I got the sense that he was feeling just as emotional as me, making my tears flow more heavily.

He soon began moving his hips as slowly as possible so I could continue adjusting to it. When it stung particularly more at one point, he pulled back to press our foreheads together, eyes opening to search mine.

My breath hitched when he said, "I'll make it better; just hold on." I nodded, cupping his cheek with one hand. Nothing else felt appropriate but that.

The hand in my hair moved, so his thumb could wipe gently at my tears as he continued. As he'd assured, the pain slowly subsided, and he was able to pick up the pace so it felt pleasurable.

When a slight sound left my lips, he lifted himself up with one arm, gripping my waist with the other, and looked over me as he adjusted his movements. He changed the speed, pressure, and angle until things seemed to align, and a spark of electricity shot through my body. My back arched as though my soul was trying to burst from my chest, my hands grasping onto whatever parts of his body I could reach in an attempt to keep myself grounded.

Sasuke took it all in with an indescribable expression I'd never seen before. Those dark eyes were alight and focused, his lips were ever so slightly parted, and his brow was furrowed in a way that made his effort to hold back evident.

Each time he'd thrust into me, it was like he was perfecting our connection and continuing to make minute adjustments. It may have even been unconsciously done. Whatever the case, it soon became hard to remain completely silent. As my insides began the ascension to climax, I couldn't hold back a moan. Biting the back of my hand to cut off the humiliating sound, I broke eye contact with Sasuke for the first time and turned my head to the side with a bright red face.

The Uchiha man apparently didn't like that because he stopped moving altogether. Surprised, I looked up at him again to see he was frowning.

"Don't look away."

Breathing a bit heavily from our actions, I nodded. Slowly, he moved again, dipping down to press his lips into my palm on the hand that I still had raised to my mouth.

Briefly, he closed his eyes to breathe soft words of reassurance, "And let me hear it."

When he was sure I wouldn't disobey his requests, he gradually brought us back to how we were before. The time came that I couldn't hold back my moans, and my blush flared hotter as I tried to at least keep them quieter than they'd be if I let them flow freely.

It was even better than I thought it'd be, sex with Sasuke. Of course, I already knew he'd make it physically feel good because he has experience. What I hadn't expected was the warmth and yearning that rose within my very soul with each movement he made. I could feel him, all of him. It was as though we were one, connected by both the act and our feelings for one another.

How corny. It was still true, though.

Long fingers held my waist more firmly as Sasuke suddenly made an adjustment that allowed him to hit something deep inside me that's never been touched before, something I didn't know existed. A surprised cry managed past my control, and my insides spasmed around him. The hand at my waist fumbled to the mattress. I watched in awe as Sasuke's jaw flexed, a low sound vibrating his chest, and his eyes narrowed as though he was being tortured.

I opened my mouth to apologize because it seemed I'd somehow hurt him, but to my surprise, the man came down lower to press his lips to mine. Then he began repeating the same motion that pulled such a strong reaction from my body. Before, my climax was building slowly and steadily, but it suddenly amped up its approach, and I found myself holding onto him for dear life as my insides tightened.

Just as it felt like my lungs would collapse from breathing so hard amidst our kiss, Sasuke pulled back just enough that we weren't kissing anymore, "Go ahead; let it happen."

The low and raspy tone he spoke with was all I needed to reach the goal, and I panicked when the pleasure that suddenly erupted between my legs was much better than any I'd felt in the past. A breathy moan escaped me with no contest, and my legs crossed around his hips as they trembled and shook. Even as the very breath was stolen from my body, I was surprised when Sasuke suddenly pressed his forehead to mine and squeezed his eyes closed.

My climax was at its peak when he cursed, "Fuck…."

I stunned both him and myself by running my fingers into his hair, my body pressing up against his as it struggled to withstand the pleasure, and spoke against his lips, "I-Inside!"

Another embarrassing moan followed my outburst, and I couldn't help but throw my head back and close my eyes, too. A strong hand swiftly came to the back of my head, clutching a fistful of my hair so tightly it almost hurt, and then an odd, warm feeling erupted inside me just as my climax faded.

I panted for air as I opened my eyes to Sasuke was still watching me, but his eyes were glazed over as though he was somewhere far away. He'd stopped moving, remaining fully inside. A moment passed before he unfroze, the focus returning to his gaze. Rather than say something, something akin to a moan left his mouth before he stunned me with a deep kiss. The hand in my hair relaxed, coming around to gently cup my jaw.

Trembling with anxiety now that the deed was done, I nervously ran my hands over his shoulders and then up to return the embrace. We were sweaty and tired, but I couldn't get enough of him for some reason. I never wanted him to stop kissing me. As though he could read my thoughts, Sasuke's lips moved against mine, "We should sleep soon."

I nodded, meeting his gaze with half-lidded eyes before pulling him into another kiss.

As much as I want to tell him my feelings, it would be a big mistake because the timing's all wrong. So, I'll do what I can to physically show him my love and adoration. Gradually, Sasuke maneuvered himself from on top of me so we were lying side by side, facing one another, and finally pulled out. Despite my exhaustion weighing heavily on my mind, I kept kissing him with all my might, and Sasuke kissed me back with matching energy.

I don't know when or how, but sleep eventually took over when I could no longer fight it, Sasuke still softly pressing his lips to mine.

-Sasuke's POV-

Hinata fell asleep, but I couldn't follow her lead quickly because my mind was alive and wild.

This wasn't supposed to happen, not tonight and not like this. She deserved to have her first time somewhere familiar and comfortable, and neither of us should've been anywhere near alcohol. Somehow, it felt right, though.

What just occurred was the best and scariest thing I've ever experienced. God, it was so much better than I thought it'd be, fucking Hinata. I cursed inwardly, unable to tear my gaze from her peaceful face as she slept. I didn't fuck Hinata. I had sex with her. I made…. Now I understand why Gaara got so angry when I drunkenly asked if he was fucking Sakura.

That was the first time in my life that a woman made me feel that way, physically, mentally, psychologically, and whatever else there may be. All of it was insane, the blind trust she gave me to take care of her, the way she squeezed around me like her body never wanted to let go, and how beautiful she looked throughout the whole ordeal.

Hinata finally let go. I got to see her honest reactions, and it was magnificent. I recalled some of the other women I'd slept with and tried to picture their faces, but none came close to the sleeping girl in front of me.

I want to curse myself for thinking such thoughts because I've never been someone who showers another with compliments or affection. Here I am, though, and I can't help it. It's been weeks since this Hyuuga woman began infecting my mind to the point that I even dream about her. It may not have been me to feel or think this way a year ago, but I didn't have what I do now back then. I hadn't experienced Hinata adequately. I had no idea what I was missing.

What a fool.

Sometimes I hate the sad sap that I've become, but I know deep down that the changes are for the better. I shouldn't pretend to be unaffected by things or hide my true thoughts and feelings just because I want to keep up an image.

The woman in question's fingers twitched slightly against the skin of my stomach, where it'd come to rest after she fell asleep, and I focused on her again.

Something weird came over me over the past hour, and I'm almost certain she felt it, too, because she's never kissed me like that before; it was like she'd die without it. And, fuck, her voice has never sounded like that, either. God, I wish she was awake so I could kiss her again. Groaning softly, I reached between us and pulled her hand to my lips.

I know exactly why I let things escalate tonight. It's because she said it. I know for a fact she wouldn't have if she knew I was awake, but I heard her clearly. Hinata said she loved me in the softest, sweetest, warmest voice I've ever heard. At first, I thought it'd been a fever dream or hallucination since I was sick, but it was too clear to be fake. I was too stunned to say much to her the day after that.

That's why the sex was scary and not just wonderful.

A dozen times, I almost said those three words. How could I not be tempted to when she was lying there, looking up at me with nothing but trust and affection filling her eyes to the brim?

But how can I ever say it? That's the problem.

Every person I've ever said "I love you" to has either died or proven they weren't worthy of my high regard. If I say it, I feel like I'll lose Hinata somehow. Something will happen, and she'll be gone, either literally or emotionally. Something in my gut says to keep my mouth shut, no matter how hard it is, because this is the one thing I can't let slip through my fingers.

Not Hinata.

As much as I liked to lie to myself back when I was sleeping with a new woman each week, I know I wasn't happy. In fact, I was depressed, angry, and dissatisfied with life altogether. My career was the only thing keeping more dangerous thoughts at bay.

I don't recall ever struggling to fall asleep because I was so excited for the next day to come that it almost gave me the jitters, but it happens often now.

Before, it was just me. When something good or bad, anything, would occur, it became hard to figure out how to respond because there was no one there to gauge my reactions. Now, my first instinct is to look to the side, to look for Hinata no matter the situation.

And she's always there, by my side.

Hinata makes me happy, and I hope to God that I can make her happy, too.