꧁Chapter 5꧂

꧁𝕰𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖆꧂

The sky is slowly losing the stars' light above and yet the sky is becoming brighter as if it will turn morning soon. I am still awake, being alert for the sneak attacks of the wild creatures---if there are. But it seems like I got a luck today. These creatures could have been full already and did not bother us anymore.

So, my mind decided to explore some of my memories. Nathalia's memories are still fresh to me. I have gone both torments and pain as Nathalia and Alyanna. Alyanna lived with power but suffered due to someone's greed. While Nathalia, lived as a weak person because she doesn't know how to be greedy. What an irony!

"You may be a noble, but don't think too much. You have no place in this kingdom. You are not a real royalty." Yeshua's voice is still echoing inside my ears.

"Yes, Your Highness." I bowed my head as a respect.

These memories are better to be forgotten as Nathalia. The kid inside me has been suffering through emotional, verbal and physical ways. My will to live saved me again.

But since I remember all these things clearly, I will turn these memories into motivation. I even managed to surpass those abuse I have received from them. I am no longer afraid of anything.

"Is that all? A passing grade, seriously? Is there anything you can do? You suck." Yeshua's voice again appeared inside my ears.

"I apologize, Your Highness."

"What is this Nathalia? Goodness! I will lock you in the attic! Repent!" the Queen's voice is still clear to me.

When I manage to got a perfect grades... They locked me in the attic. Saying, I am competing against Yeshua. There's no really place for me. The attic had always been my room, and my comfort place after all.

I am lacking of nutrition and physical activities. I was like a prisoner being caged for so long.

I want to cover my ears. These words, voices and criticisms are making a deaf person! I don't want to hear these things anymore.

I once lost my rights to live as myself. Now, that I am given a chance to live again and to decide for myself, I will create my own decisions and how will I live.

I will stop these sufferings now.

Nathalia... You are now finally free...

As the sun rises on this day, I will be longer Nathalia. I don't have a title or a blood of royalty. I will also be not a slave.

Starting this day, I am no longer Nathalia. No one can rule me now, hurt me, abuse me, and most of all, I will not let these sufferings interrupt my life again!

I will no longer be Nathalia and surely I wouldn't live myself as Alyanna.

I have tainted Alyanna's reputation. If I live as her again, I will only sin against Alice. The miseries of the past should not happen again. I will not repeat the history.

I am thankful for the love I have received from Alice and Coronia. However, the pain, the guilt, and their deaths are still hunting me. I cannot live again for someone who I am not.

From this moment. I will be living as myself. I would be---

"Elliana..."

Elliana.

This name---I have never heard someone used this name around the Mystica.

Then, I will be Elliana from this day onwards.

"You succeed. Very well!" the deity appeared again in front of me.

"Where did you go?" I asked.

"You summoned me unconsciously."

"And should I believe you again?" I asked again.

"Then let me show you something. But before that, I would like to tell you that you lost your consciousness again due to sleep deprivation. Your conscious mind is talking to me. Though your memories are still, but your body is still unstable." she replied.

After hearing that, I pinched myself. Yes, I am in my own projection again.

I panicked again after realizing that I fainted. How about the man who's barely alive? Will he die because I lost my consciousness?

"Fear not. I told you, you were so powerful. You have my power, as well as my magic, he won't die that easily."

If she is able to read my thoughts, then that means, she is telling the truth. Only the deities and some gifted royalties are able to read someone's thoughts. If you cannot read someone's thoughts, you can have an equipment or device for that, but that would be purely expensive. Thus, the kingdoms all around Mystica decided to ban them.

I took a deep sigh.

I have the guts to believe in her too.

"Then come with me..." she walked in front of me and raised her hands. A light came out from her hands so I covered my eyes because it was very uncomfortable for me to see.

It was so bright for so many seconds and I couldn't see anything.

However, I heard a different voice.

That voice made my heart skip a beat for unknown reasons. After hearing the familiar voice, I managed to see everything.

It was midnight. Everyone is in a bloodshed. A jet black haired man appeared in front of me. He was full of blood. His stance is very familiar to me.

"Y-you... m-must... l-live..." his words are stumbling.

I walked near him and tried to help him but it seems like he cannot see me. I can't also touch him. It's like I'm a wind passing through him.

He hid behind a big tree and closed his eyes. His breathe is slowly fading but he manage to heal himself by using sorcery.

"This kid will be useless. I should torture her in this forest."

"Why don't we do it together? We don't know if we'll came out alive this day. At least before we die, we satisfy ourselves, right?"

"Right. No one should know about this..."

"I'm good at secrets!"

"She is still alive... Bang her head on the rock!"

I shifted my gaze on the other direction. My eyes widened. I gasped. I am being tortured by someone. I can feel the agony inside my heart. Not only they tried to bang my head, they are even planning to take an advantage of me.

That... memory of mine... is extremely hard for me to bear... Until now, my heart is raging in anger whenever I remember those nights.

I cannot forgive the Queen and the King of my own kingdom!

The man in front of me also witness what was happening.

He is also in rage so he decided to use all his magic to kill the two men. He successfully made it. His vigor went back and he is no longer in pain. His eyes changed into a different color. It was a cold gaze with killing intent. His eyes changed into a blazing ruby shade.

I shed a tear.

Myself who was been tortured in front of me seems to be powerless. Her breathing is slowly fading away.

All this time, I thought, no one would save me except myself.

But someone helped me... and I lived all my life without knowing it.

"Poor lady. You don't deserve this place..."

"If only I could help you..."

The man walked in front of my unconscious self and grabbed my hand to check the pulse.

"Still alive." he whispered.

He carried the lady and let her lay on a safe spot. The man cried in front of me as if he was so scared from what he had seen.

"You've gone through a lot..." he cried.

I wanted to hug him. I understand how he feels. How terrible it is to feel alone and at the same time, slowly seeing yourself dying and being tortured. In such age!

"Please live... no matter how it takes, you have to live. You are too young to be in despair. I don't want to be alone here, please stay with me..." the man said to an unconscious person.

This young man is really sincere. My heart is wavering right now. Even if I cannot touch the man because I am only a projection. I hugged him and I cried with him. It must have been tough for him to witness such. But still, I am thankful, he gave me an another chance to live.

But this lady... lived with a tainted reputation.

Still, I am not regretting because I met the person I love.

"And so, that man didn't know that he saved the girl who's destined to die."

I was stunned when I realize that there is a deity beside me after all. I was been carried away by my emotions. I wiped my tears and shifted my gaze.

"He tried to meddle with your fate. It was his will that saved you. A mortal, even blessed by a deity, can't change the fate. Those who tries to challenge the fate will face major consequences." she continued.

I looked everywhere but I didn't see the deity beside me. Is she using telepathy on me?

I was stunned from where I am standing. The deity is indeed here but it is not her true form. My head began to ache again.

It was a white cat!

Wait...

Isn't that the cat who cursed me?

"Excuse me, those were false judgment. I am not a cat, I am a deity. Aside from that, I gave you my power, so it is a gift, not a curse!" she corrected my thoughts.

Now it all makes sense!

So, she indeed helped me before because she had given me her powers. All this time I thought, I was saved by a white cat but after all she didn't. She only passed down her powers to me.

She's definitely right. I shouldn't had believed on what others said back then. I wasn't cursed after all. She is a deity, how could I have been cursed?

"Your tragic life supposed to end in this day. But then, I have shown mercy upon this young man. He has a royal blood within him, and soon will become a great hero. As a deity, I should show him my mercy, right?" she added.

"He was supposed to faint at the same time you lost your consciousness. But he used all his powers to save your fate because he witnessed your sufferings and torments. Saving you---changed his fate. Since it was his will to save your life, then it's also his fate to end your life. That means, you will be an obstacle to his path. And you successfully did. You fell in love with each other, you cared for each other. He is willing to sacrifice his dreams, will, and everything for you. He loved you to that extent."

Hearing what the deity said almost slapped me.

Thousand of thorns instantly went through in my body.

I was frozen. I was shocked. It seems like someone had thrown a cold water for me to become awake.

Things become clearer and it woke me up from the reality.

This can't be!

My heart begins to crumble. I fell on my knees and my eyes began to shed some tears.

"Is that guy... James?" my voice almost break.

"Yes. Due to memory lose, you are unable to remember that you are Nathalia. You are also unconscious when he had taken care of you."

Then it means... the man I've been taking care right now, is also the man that I loved and the man I killed?

So... We already met before...

I can no longer feel anything. All I know is I am shedding tears. I am only a projection of myself but I can feel how my heart is in pain right now. It hurts!

How could I repay the man who saved my life by killing him either?

My fate... is really... cruel...

"You have met in the forest already, and you will meet here again. That strong bond and interaction of the two of you caused the both of you die together. So---" I did not let her continue what she was saying because I was in too much pain.

"Is there's a chance for me to change our fate?" I unconsciously said.

"Dear, have you not noticed it yet? You're already changing your fate." She answered.

"But didn't you say that anyone who tries to challenge the fate, will be punished by the fate itself? Even if I was been blessed by a deity?" I asked.

"My dear, Elliana. I forgot to tell you, that fate is weaker when you have time and will with you."

I forced myself to smile. As if I am giving myself a hope.

If it was this painful to live... Just to live, and to be loved, I will take so much risks.

I still have the hope within me.

My tears fell from eyes. It was both sadness and happiness.

From now on, from this day onwards, I will do everything for him, for us. I will change our fate no matter what it takes.

This tragedy will never happen again.

I pledge, this will never happen again!

꧁𝕰𝖓𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 5꧂

Words and Terms:

Elliana - God answered my prayer.

Deity - a god or goddess (in a polytheistic religion).

Karma - (in Hinduism and Buddhism) the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.

𝓐𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻❜𝓼 𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮: To avoid confusion, I will summarize today's chapter. Nathalia changed her name into Elliana as her own way to live her own fate without living for someone else. If you are all wondering, how is that possible, don't they have birth certificates or whatsoever? Yes they do, but birth certificates in this era are easy to process. So you can have many names as you wish. In addition, royalties have their birth name and stage name also. Which will be explained in the next chapters. So, after Nathalia, naming herself as Elliana, she lost consciousness again due to a fragile body. The deity appeared again and she began helping Elliana by showing some shards of her memories. That was the memory when she got traumatized and lost her identity as Nathalia. She discovered that the man who saved her life after all was her lover, James. She also discovered the the white cat who was believed that cursed her was the deity beside her. Meaning, it was not a curse but a power transferring.

By the way, Elliana did not know that the young man was James because of he was disguised at that time. If you are curious why, I will explain in the next chapters. Stay tuned!

In addition, if you are all wondering, why did the deity gave all her power to Elliana if she just showed mercy to the two of them?

Mhmm... I will answer that question in the next chapters. Stay tuned! Comment down below your ideas or theories upon this. Thank you for reading!