CHAPTER 23

Madison leaned against the cold wall, shocked at her reckless behaviour.  She looked around, astounded.   They could have been caught in the disgraceful act, especially as she was betrothed to another man. 

Well actually she had not been thinking.  She just went ahead and did it.  Standing against the wall!  Was it---done that way?  Clearly, for she had just spontaneously indulged in it with Chadwick.

Thankfully nobody else was around.  Not a single soul was in the near vicinity.  Madison shut her eyes tightly and wished she had the courage to end things with Rankin.  She found him repulsive.  She shivered violently, for she could not for a second imagine herself in his arms, or Rankin making love to her.  How was she ever going to endure Rankin’s touch when she married him?  She could feel the unwelcome cold in her bones.  Madison pulled the jacket closer around her shoulders and realized she still had Chadwick’s jacket.  She cupped her cheek against it and smiled.  His strong masculine scent was all over the jacket.  She lifted the collar closer to her face and inhaled deeply.  Shutting her eyes, she allowed Chadwick’s scent to infuse with her senses.  She yearned for him to return, looking forward to their rendezvous the following day. 

Madison was so confused?  She wanted Chadwick in her life, like she never desired anybody previously.  Yet, she knew she could not accept him.  He was not a peer of society.  It was important to her to have the right social standing in society.  The gentleman one married was irrelevant, all took mistresses.   As long as he was a respectable peer of society and his family were of noble blood that was what mattered.  Every lady knew that after her husband acquired a male heir, the wife was relegated to “non -existent status.”  As long as Rankin provided adequately for her and their children, she cared not if he never took her to his bed again.  She did not need Rankin.   She would have her memories of the one she loved.

Not wishing to remain at the ball any longer.  Madison scribbled a note to her parents.  She must look a sight, she thought to herself!  She would send the carriage back to be on standby for them.  What concerned her now was forming an excuse to see Chadwick the following afternoon.  She would make every effort to meet him.  Whatever was she going to say to Beth about her clandestine meeting with a certain Chadwick Rochester?    She would worry about Rankin later, if she had to worry about him at all.

The following morning Madison was up with the sun.  Joy surged through her at the thought of being with Chadwick again this afternoon, suddenly trepidation washed over her. 

Intense anticipation overwhelmed her more than the idea of being compromised.  It weighed little against her determination to be in Chadwick’s arms again.

Madison rifled through her closet searching for a dress that would make Chadwick’s eyes twinkle with appreciation.  She settled on the dove grey shirtwaist afternoon dress with the soft pink lace frills. She chose pale pink silk leggings to go with black velvet slippers.  Madison left them in the closet.  Removing them would only alert Beth that she had plans.  After lunch she intended to hint at wanting to take a walk.  Yes, that was the perfect plan.  She could hardly wait. 

Madison rushed down to breakfast after washing.  She ate porridge, eggs and tea cakes with gusto.  Her mother had been rather pleased at Madison’s jubilant mood this morning.  Lately she had been of poor spirits.  Chatting incessantly to her mother, she relayed how she had enjoyed the ball the previous night.  She was glad her mother had not asked who she had danced with or how her meal was for she could remember neither.

‘I thought you had a migraine and had left early?’

‘I did,’ Madison bit on another tea cake.  ‘But the little time I spent there was --- unforgettable.’

‘I’m glad you enjoyed it dear,’ Rachael smiled.  ‘You remember Lord Fane?  He has invited us to his opera box at Covent Gardens.  A German operatic artist is performing there on Friday evening.  Lord Fane said he would be most pleased for you to attend.’

‘Oh that will be superb.  Please reply yes,’ Madison stated.

‘Good, I shall ask papa to extend an invitation to Earl Swain.’

Madison choked on her tea.  She sputtered in her cup, quickly settling it on the table before it fell from her hand.

‘Darling are you okay?’  Rachael rushed to Madison and gently tapped her back.

‘Yes,’ Madison replied gruffly, tears pooled in her eyes from her near choking to death.

‘The tea cakes are not going anywhere,’ Rachael pressed her palms on Madison’s shoulders.  ‘You are a lady, do not eat with such haste.’

‘Yes mama,’ Madison coughed some more, and wiped her eyes with her tea towel.  At her mother’s clearing of her throat, Madison hastily replaced the tea towel on her lap.

     'Is the rumour true then Swain?’ A gentleman enquired.  ‘You are mortgaged to the hilt?  That creditors are wanting to foreclose on your estate?’

Rankin’s cold eyes glowered.  He threw back his head and swallowed a measure of whisky.  ‘I have a plan,’ he smiled with confidence, belying his true state of anger.  Unhurriedly his eyes travelled around the smoky, noisy card room at Whites.  There were many gentlemen there today just like him, with not two farthings to scratch together, but like him, every cash strapped peer smiled brightly and ran up their tabs as if they had an unending supply of funds.

‘You do?’ the gentleman asked curiously.

‘Yes,’ Rankin answered cryptically as he stood up.  ‘Enjoy the afternoon squire,’ he tipped his hat and departed from the crowded card room at Whites.

‘Beth we are going for a walk,’ Madison announced, when she could not keep still for a second longer.  She would be a bit early for Chadwick, but she’d much rather be early and already in the woods than sitting in agony in the drawing room watching her mother’s knitting needles at work.

‘We are?’  Beth looked up questioningly.  ‘Yes that is correct,’ she answered quickly when she saw her lady’s flustered face.

‘Do not be out too long dear,’ her mother smiled.  ‘I can feel the chill already.’

‘Yes mama,’ Madison picked up her shawl and draped it over her shoulders.  ‘Hurry Beth,’ Madison pulled open the front door.

‘My lord!  W---What are you doing here?’  She felt the lack of oxygen stifling her lungs.  Madison wanted to faint.    She clutched her shawl tightly as if that would shade her from Rankin’s presence.

‘I have come to visit my fiancée,’ he flashed a smile charmingly.

‘I was going for a walk.  I---wanted some air.’

‘Splendid idea dear,’ he crooked his elbow invitingly.    ‘May I join you?’ His expression intimated he was not expecting to be declined.  Madison glanced at Beth desperately, but Beth could offer no help.  She knew not of Madison’s secret plans as yet.  Madison had planned to come upon Chadwick in the woodlands.