Lei of my Life

I wanted to feel wanted, needed and desired by girls because I felt empty inside. I wanted to fill my heart with sex and women's moans, cums to fill the void that only Leila can and always fill. Which, in fact, made and still makes me crazy and pathetic. Leila thought she is pathetic but not really. I am the worst, the most pathetic and dishonest person in the universe for not admitting that I am still in love with her and will stay in love with whoever she's with or whatever she does in her life. I will always remain Leila's shadow, her past and I hope her future too. Future Nostalgia, Dualipa's album is many things to me. I love it since it sums up how I feel for Leila. Her songs Love is Religion, Hallucinate, Levitating, etc., are the songs that I offer Leila and the songs I live by to keep me sane, inspired and in love with life, with my job, my businesses and my goal... to own Leila. I want her only for myself. But that's a bit selfish, right.

I am selfish. I will be selfish for her even if she didn't feel the same with me, I thought while seated on my swivel chair at my huge, classy office in my own building at the 22nd floor.

In the hospital, Leila in her bed thinking about Marissa. I don't want to dwell too much on the past but the now, and the future. I want Sasa to realize that I do love her but it's just that a lot has happened and I couldn't find the right words to tell her how I feel. Which is really not me. Ever since Sasa and I were kids I was the aggressive one, the leader, the main character to the stories Sasa and I always make. I pushed her to kiss me, I pushed her to do things even if she didn't want to. I pushed her to forget me when I secretly left and tried my best to forget about her too. But I was unable to, I love Sasa since we were kids. I love everything about her, her cute smile, her tiny dimples on her upper cheeks when she overly smiles.

I love her laugh and her cuddling me whenever I sleep over in her room. And most of all, I love her lips. I'm so obsessed with her mouth that clings, stings and makes me feel alive, wanted, desired and loved. She always make me feel sexy and I love her for that. Like I am the most beautiful woman in the world for her, like I am the only one for her...But that was in the past and I don't think she loves me enough to accept that I'll be a humanoid and just like every robot in the world, I'll be a toy, a plaything for her or for those who will be experimenting on my body, myself, my life.

While Leila was thinking about Sasa. Sasa in turn thought of Leila day and night, ever since she met her that day in front of her love's porch with daughter Lillian, and Sasa have always since they were kids. I am done being nice and always on the safe side when it comes to loving Leila. I don't know if I have forgiven her but there's something inside me that wanted to make sure that she really has changed. I can pay girls to like or love me then playing or acting wouldn't be hard. I may be many things to the women who used and acted they loved me but I am not stupid. I need to find ways to make Leila fall in love with me again. While helping her recover from the unfortunate accident, I will make her love me and she will never let me go ever again.

Leila went through surgeries after surgery for her eyes first which took about a year and a half. Then her legs that needed to be replaced by bionic ones that caused me $70,000 dollars for each leg. I bought the genuine, soft and life-like kind of titanium alloy so that Leila could be at ease with them. She wouldn't have to feel like she had really lost her legs. Her legs would stay the same but the metal frames would be attached to her bones and nerves so she could walk again. And hopefully, she can dance with me in the rain and run at the shoreline, which was what we always did when we were younger.

Leila have been struggling to practice using her new pair of eyes and legs. It's not as easy as it sounds or looks, but Lillian have been patient and kind to her mother's complains and irritability. I always check Leila at her room in the hospital which Bionics Laboratory is adjacent to it. My office is there so that if I wanted to see Leila I'd just tick a button and there she is at the other side of the window. If I needed to be closer to her since I miss her, I would sneak and check her out in her room while she's asleep. Her eyes are bionic now but it looked perfect and the same with her face without a blemish or a scar. I advised the doctors not to hurt and give my Leila scars, even on her legs. She sees her legs as human ones but the inside parts of them are robotic, bionic, but it feels the same though the difference is, Leila can kick a ball farther than any regular human can and can squish or flatten a beer can, metal cans or frames if she needed to with them. In short, Leila is a bionic woman now. She is invincible. Her powers are inherited from science and she might not know now it yet, but soon she would, and might enjoy it too.

I was tired with business meetings and travels talking, negotiating with magnates and tycoons in Asia and Europe. I was dead exhausted and needed to unwind, so I called for my dearest Darla. She is the greatest and her touches are the best among the many girls who I hired to break and make me relax in the weekends.