Strength

[Unknown POV]

[A time long forgotten...]

"Ding!" The call button buzzed, signifying the need for assistance.

"Oh, looks like your little patient is calling for you, Jessie. Isn't that rare? Make sure not to do something too unethical this time, hehe," my fellow nurse said, obliviously finding her own sense of humor clever unlike everyone else around her.

"Yeah, yeah, let me go see." Despite being busy checking some patient files, I knew better than to ignore the little man's request, especially when it was close to his departure.

'Moments like this are what make this job worth it.' It was a common question I had been asked by many people before, "What's the best part of being a nurse?"

I was even been asked that question during my first class in nursing school by my professor, who had decided to randomly pick me out from over the 150 other students to 'prove a point.'

'I always hated that professor.'

It was a question that had plagued me constantly, as I was reminded of it time and time again during my clinical placement, but never more so than the last few weeks. Thankfully, I had finally been able to come to an answer.

'The best part of being a nurse is watching patients go home.'

"So my little superhero, how're you feeling?" I asked the little man with a small smile plastered on my face as I pulled back the hospital curtains.

"I'm good!" The boy seemed jubilant at finally being able to give the 'correct' response to this common question of his as well.

"Well, that's wonderful to hear!" I continued to talk with the boy about random topics of the day, you know, the usual, both of us not trying to mention the elephant in the room, just wanting to keep the conversation going.

'However, every good thing must come to an end,' I thought while patting the boy's head in reward for the funny joke he'd just told that had even gotten to me.

"Hahahaha," I clenched my stomach while wiping tears from my eyes due to the plethora of emotions I was feeling at this moment, all of which were overcome by one.

Joy.

I continued to pat the boy's head, showing him once again that nothing had changed between us, reminiscing about all the time we had spent together.

'I remember when that boy wouldn't even let me touch his head, clearly self-conscious about the aftereffects of his treatment. He'd been so insistent that I needed to 'tie him down' just to show him that it meant nothing.'

'Do you know how many rumors that incident caused to spread around the hospital, young man, whose ramifications I was still dealing with today?' Still, like always, I was convinced to forgive the young boy, never once getting mad at him.

'I remember being asked why by the kiddo,'

"Why don't you ever get mad at me, Nurse Jessie?"

It had broken me a little inside, trying to find the right way to answer that boy's question. 'Why would I ever get mad at you?' I had wanted to answer him again.

'How could I ever get mad at you?' The boy had always been like this, since the first day he had been admitted during my placement, inquisitive. Always trying to find the answer when there was none in the first place.

Trying to figure out what he had done to deserve such pain.

Still, he never broke. Despite all the treatments he'd endured, despite all the countless lonely hours he spent chained to the hospital bed, he never once broke out of his smile when greeting me, not wanting to cause greater worry to those he loved.

It was always my most favorite part of my day, greeting him, his smile like the morning sun, filling me with strength.

What then was the right answer to give to the boy's question? How could I answer his question when he wouldn't acknowledge my answer?

"Because we're family, little man," I came up with a suitable response to the young boy's query, not understanding at the time the impact my statement would have on the young boy, "you never stay mad at family."

'That was when I figured out my first technique to deal with the young boy's constant queries, planting a kiss on his forehead to stop his fussing.'

Kids act out, not because they want to, but because they yearn for attention and affection that seems just out of reach. The effort it had taken just to get the boy to start 'acting out' was only known to the two of us, as he had finally started requesting assistance instead of hiding his own pain.

Still, it was the greatest achievement of my life, having been there to support him as he won his lifelong battle against the cards that had been dealt to him by fate.

"So, are you ready to go home?"

"Yeah?" The boy's answer seemed more like a question as he too was unsure of his current emotional state.

Change was always hard, especially when he had been stuck in his current routine for so long. Still, no matter how it was, change was a necessary part of life.

I hid my true feelings at that moment and continued my attempts to 'raise' the boy in his parents' absence, even till our last moments together.

"That sounds great! Guess what, I've even got a present for you..." My voice continued to trail off in teasing, as the boy grew increasingly curious about what I had for him hidden behind my back, finally acting like a regular kid would in such a situation.

"Here..." I handed the boy some 'books' I had picked out for him from a local 'comic book store,' despite not knowing anything about these kinds of things. Still, watching the young man smile at the gift he had received had made the extra drive worth it.

"Cool!" The boy looked starry-eyed as he started to read the 'whatchamacallit'--

'Uh-, it wasn't a comic book, what did that clerk call it again? Oh right, a manga I think.'

Of course, I had done my due diligence to skim over a few articles about the book myself before handing it to the young boy, afraid of what impact it might have on his delicate psyche, despite it being recommended by the shop owner.

It was an inspiring tale from the little summary that I read online, about a boy getting stronger to achieve his goal of defeating the demon Yujiro. I had believed that it would serve as a reminder to the boy of his courage in overcoming his afflictions, just like the unlucky hero in the book.

The boy seemed to ignore my presence once he got his hands on his new 'prized possessions,' wanting to read the book as soon as possible. 'Must be a page-turner.'

I had only grown more overjoyed at the effectiveness of my present, thanking the insistence of the shopkeeper who practically 'forced' me to buy the book for him.

I had only just turned to leave when I was shocked still by a sound I had gotten all too familiar with.

"Cough, cough..." My head whipped back in dread at the sound I had just heard coming out of the young man's mouth.

I stared into his eyes, for a split moment being able to see past his facade, despite his best attempts to hide his need to cough from me.

"I just need water, Nurse Jessie. It's fine, don't worry." I chose to ignore the young man's petty attempts at deceit, checking his throat for possible dryness, finding none despite my thorough examination.

I continued staring into the young man's eyes, still in disbelief at having been 'tricked' despite all the time we had spent together. I had grown careless, by the progress I had been seeing, by the sight of the happiness.

"Please, Nurse Jessie, I really-"

"SLAP!"

Despite my duty to care, despite the countless hours of instructions I had received about proper bedside manner, I threw all of that out the door when realizing just how far I had failed in raising the boy correctly.

'I should have picked up on something when he was telling the doctor he was feeling better, I knew I shouldn't have allowed that senile old man to be in charge of his discharge, I knew I shouldn't have trusted his levels suddenly falling within range.'

Holding in the tears brought to my face by the realization of my failure, I continued staring into his eyes until he finally told the truth.

"What else, Kuzan, tell me what else..."

"Please, Nurse Jessie, even you said I'm okay," my words finally reached the boy, as his facade crumbled, tears and snot now running down his face...

"Please..."

[2 months later]

"I'm sorry, Jessie, his condition's not improving." The man broke the news with professional courtesy, while I had shown none, breaking every code of ethics that I had learned trying to help the boy, believing in his strength when all others had given up.

'No.'

"How long does he have, please James, how long?"

The man looked into my eyes with tears, having also seen the boy's resilience in person during his time at the hospital, decreeing the boy's fate.

'No.'

I ran towards his room, not wanting to miss a second by his side during the last few moments he had left. The boy, who had always been the source of my strength, lay weakly in his bed, barely able to turn his face towards me to acknowledge my presence.

Still, he never once broke, smiling at me as I walked by his side.

'No.'

[1 month later]

He never once complained after that day, he never once cried out in anger or frustration. Instead, he always maintained that smile.

That smile, all for my sake, not wanting to cause more pain.

'How could you do it?' I wanted to ask the young man, despite burying the question deep within me due to its nature, 'What's your source of strength?'

Still, the world was never fair, continuing to mock his courage to the very end.

I stayed with him, reading stories, holding his hand, and cherishing every smile he managed to muster. It was never enough; however, as a great poet had once declared, time is indifferent. It cares not for our hopes and fears; passing regardless of how we feel.

One day in particular, I had become especially surprised by his strength, somehow being able to sit up to eat his meal, moving so, God knows how, after many days.

"How are you feeling Kuzan?" I asked the boy, despite knowing full well the answer I would receive.

"I'm good!"

I smiled at his antics, not wanting this moment to pass, not wanting that day to get closer...

"Really, Nurse Jessie, I'm feeling a whole lot better. See!" the boy spoke, whipping off his bedcover and somehow managing to stand despite his feeble body, now consisting of nothing but skin and bones.

"How long have you been feeling better, Kuzan?" I asked the boy with a smile on my face at his mobility.

"I don't know, probably since this morning," the boy answered truthfully, obviously excited by his sudden spike in 'strength.'

"I even wanna go outside, please can I go, please?" the boy spoke, asking for my approval, knowing full well how hard it would be for him to convince me to allow him to do so.

However, even I couldn't resist the pleading eyes of the boy, choosing to sprinkle in a little white lie to prevent the boy from potentially hurting himself further.

"How about I ask Doctor James?" I asked the young man, only to receive a happy nod in reply.

Thus, under his watchful gaze, I slowly exited his room, trying to convince James to be the one to break the bad news.

"Come on, please, he really needs for you to be the one to say it." I tried dragging the man by his arm, doing my best to prevent him from turning in the other direction.

"What do you need me for, Jessie? I have a medical board meeting that I need to attend," the man continued, making vain attempts to free himself from my grasp.

However, I knew ways to make him yield.

"Please, James, won't you help me just this once?" I spoke to the man in my 'special' tone of voice for him, snuggling his arm deeper into my chest.

But it seemed the man was dead set in his ways, not even taking a moment to 'pamper' me for my 'cuteness' before continuing his words.

"Really, Jessie, I have to go, I can't miss this meeting... What is it that you even need me for?"

'Yes!' I congratulated myself in my head for having won half the battle already, before explaining my distress.

"Well, Kuzan said he feels a lot better and wanted to go for a walk outside, but I don't want him to," I confessed to my knight in shining armor, "do you mind sayin-"

Instead of waiting for me to finish my request, the man suddenly stopped in his tracks before latching tightly onto my arm as he rushed us both to Kuzan's room.

I was taken aback by his sudden actions, especially by the panicked look on his face as he entered my favorite patient's room.

He drew the curtains with stellar speed, pushing them aside only to reveal an empty hospital bed, now only filled with a small pool of blood.

'No.'

He continued rushing forward, leaving me in his wake as he followed the necessary procedure for a missing patient to a T, causing sirens to blare out all across the hospital wing.

"Code Amber- I repeat code amber."

I was about to follow in his steps when I noticed the shocked look on my coworker's face as she stared outside the hospital windows.

"How did he even get down there, his room's on the 3rd floor?!"

I looked to where she was pointing out in surprise, only to see the boy at the inner front entrance of the hospital wing, slowly making his way towards the gates blocking the path outside.

He continued to walk, step by step, ever so slowly, closer to his goal, leaving behind a bloody footprint with each step.

It felt as if I could hear it, his every step letting out a quiet song as he continued on his quest, chasing the impossible dream.

"Plackh."

"Plackh."

Even as all others around me continued to rush back and forth, trying their best to reach the boy before he took his last step, I could not move a single centimeter from my spot.

'No, I can't.'

'I have to stay.'

Despite how much my brain tried to convince me to intervene, to stop the young man, to pull him out of his delusions, I simply could not.

'There needs to be someone.'

'Someone to bear witness.'

I continued to watch silently till the bitter end, as the boy surrendered to his dreams...

'Bear witness to his strength.'