Chapter 37

I don't hate it when the emperor is nice to me. However, it was very uncomfortable, because it was obvious I was the only one treated this way. I don't want to be harsh. It feels weird whenever we are together, the gifts that she always brought are burdensome.

Ironically, Yehwa doesn't love me, and that will continue. That doesn't hurt me, for I don't want to walk down the same path the original Sanya did. She lived in a stupid life, and clung to the first guardian she saw.

She was just a child who died at the end of the day. Until now, even though the emperor had tried to be cute towards me, but it never works, for the farther away I am, the safer it was.

I bit my lips. The emperor's ability is confidential. In fact, no one knew except for her close aids. Some members of the ruling party didn't even know. I know Mirina has changed, but…

"I don't hate you."

I'm still scared.

"I'm always grateful."

He stared at me, and I couldn't read any meanings by looking at his face. At that moment, Mirina reached out to me. It wasn't my intention, but my body stiffened even more. It could be from the trauma that's engraved on this body.

Oh, he won't hit me. I couldn't avoid him, so I closed my eyes tightly.

"Hey."

I heard Mirina's playful voice. My eyes opened wide in surprise.

…What is it?

Mirina laughed when he saw my face where I had my mouth wide open.

"You said raising a child is the hardest thing in the world, and I didn't know if you really meant it."

Even though he was saying it in a friendly tone, there's some conscience behind those words. No matter how sneaky you are, there's no other kid who can act better than me. I smiled, but he just looked at me sadly.

"There must be a lot of things we lack in your eyes."

I thought quietly.

No there's not.

"I'm not perfect, since adults can't master everything."

Those words striked my heart. He said what he really wanted to believe.

"Still…"

Mirina, who had always been confident, bowed down.

"I'm sorry for not being reliable."

He apologized to me even though it wasn't his fault. When he looked up, I could tell his face was sincere.

"I'll wait as long as you want. Tell me when you want to talk."

I looked at his face, forgetting what I was going to say. He then smiled and patted my head. It was a warm touch, and I bit my lips gently.

I trudged along weakly.

The sunlight that was hitting on my skin felt more stingy than before.

Mirina is friendly. He's sweet, and he cares about me quite a lot. It's different from his affection towards Yehwa.

"Ugh."

A sound of pain came out from my mouth. I stopped walking and flopped down under the shade by a tree. I started getting a headache while trying to think of why Yehwa reacted that way, but Mirina's sad face also came into my mind.

Human relationships are so difficult.

Why do they care about me so much?

Believe it or not, I'm still in good shape.

What if I tell them the truth and they kill me because they don't believe me since I'm a threat?

I feel like they care about me the way others care about their pets. They can cut me off any moment without any problems

"… I don't like that."

I mumbled without realizing it, and for a moment, my mind went blank. It was my voice, but it felt very awkward, for it was a terribly lonely voice.

'Am I lonely?'

Do I need someone to lean on?

But, why now?

I gazed at my hands with mixed eyes. There was a dried raspberry cookie, and I could smell the taste. Or to put it another way, this was why he called me to his palace. Because they looked familiar, I naturally remembered the cookies that Yehwa had given me, and I became a little more disturbed without any reason since she came into my mind again.

While I was sitting still and sighing, I saw a woman and Go Woon fighting in the distance. I wanted to be alone for a while, and they quickly disappeared. But, the bushes around me started swaying.

When I sighed again, the smaller bushes moved again.

Hm, there you are…

When I saw the figure, the corner of my mouth slowly went up. Maybe it's because I'm a child, for my mood changes quickly.

I'll have to give him some cookies.

When I turned my head to call out Go Woon, a shadow fell over my head. I stiffened momentarily and tuned my head, and fortunately, it was someone I knew. Short red hair with a fancy outfit.

"Huh?"

His sharp eyes quickly widened.

"Oh!"

I was a little embarrassed by his dramatic reaction. Why is he so surprised…

"Oh, you!"

Garam pointed at me.

It's not polite to point at others.

A smile flashed across my face. I thought quietly that it was nice to see you.

"… I haven't seen you in a while, Your Highness."

"Hi!"

A cheerful greeting then followed. I almost smiled, but then I returned by showing no expression. I would usually smile when dealing with people, but I just didn't feel like laughing today.

"It's depressing."

Words popped out of my mouth before I could stop them.

I was surprised.

A feeling of being depressed.

Is that so? I'm depressed now?

More precisely, it was more like a complex annoyance, but that could be it too.

"You, you… are you sure?"

Garam creaked while I was thinking. I shifted my gaze at him, and his body creaked even more.

Is he broken?

"Well, what should I do. Um. Oh."

He seemed quite embarrassed. I could see him trying to think of a way to make me feel better. After Garam pondered for a long time, he finally spoke.

"Should I show you Bikjo…?"

I frowned upon hearing the familiar yet unfamiliar name. It's an imaginary bird who has one eye, one wing and cannot fly unless they're paired. It was also surprisingly legendary even in this world, which is funny since it's full of magic and spirits. However, it's possible to say that something is missing.

What he said was the name of his firebird, which I now remember for it had two eyes and a pair of wings. The legendary bird with one eye and one wing now became a little bit more pitiful.

I don't know why he named it that, maybe it's because he's never heard of that name being used before and it's pronunciation is similar to the word phoenix.

"… Are you okay? Do you want me to show you?"

After a moment of thought, I came back to my senses when I heard Garam's voice. And looked up. There was a twinkle in his eyes.

"…"

I answered with a grin.

"Thank you, but that's okay."

"Oh…"

His voice crumbled. It was funny to see him clamping his hands. I looked at him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"…?"

He suddenly looked at me as if I were an alien from another planet.

I patted his shoulder as if saying I appreciate your understanding.

"Well… thank you?"

"Don't mention it."

I laughed out loud because I didn't even know what was going on. It was a silly, innocent smile. I looked at him and then asked,

"Why do you like me?"

"Huh?"

He responded back with a question. We looked at each other for a while with our eyes wide open, and it was me who sighed and turned my head first.

Yeah, why did I ask him that.

"Now, wait a minute!"

Garam grabbed me in a hurry for I was about to leave with my head down. When I turned back around, Garam frowned as if he were struggling on what to answer. His face looks like it's going to break from thinking so hard.

"So, why do I like you?"

As I nodded, his brows furrowed as he was thinking deeper. I touched my hair with his hands slightly and then asked me with a face that was no different than before.

"… Isn't it obvious?"

"…"

That's absurd.