Chapter 56

“I say Robin,” she answered for me. “Am I wrong?”

I was blushing. Why was I so embarrassed about this? Why was I so ashamed?

“Sebastien?”

“Do you think it’s messed up?” I asked, something inside me craving absolution and peace.

“That you’re gay? Or that you’re attracted to men who act like women?”

My jaw tightened. “They don’t act like women.”

“I didn’t mean anything bad by that. But you can’t tell me they act like men.”

“And what does that mean? To act like a man?” I shook my head, tapping my cigarette on the edge of the ashtray. She was so straight. Lived in her impermeable straight world. How could she understand? But I had to makeher understand. “Mom, women don’t have the exclusivity on gentleness, beauty, flamboyance, even heels or make-up. All that stuff is up for grabs. Same way men don’t own the rights on strength and army boots or—”

“A tall glass of beer.”

Relieved, I smiled a little. “Right.”