Journeys & Regrets

6 moons later...

Ned

Ned sighed as he finished reading over the ravens he'd received earlier that day, nothing unusual, same reports he'd been receiving from all his bannermen. If Ned was being honest he was hoping for some mention of anything to do with Jon.

Before Ned could lose himself in his thoughts there was a knock on his solar door, Ned told whoever it was to come in and was greeted by the face of his captain of the household guard, Jory.

"What news Jory?"

"The scouts you sent a moon ago have returned my lord" Jory replied.

"And? Any leads? Anything?" Ned replied hastily.

"I'm afraid they couldn't find anything my lord, they said the hounds lost the scent near a small river in the wolfswood about a week out from here. Said they've been looking for weeks in the surrounding areas but found nothing, it was clear the lad didn't want to be followed."

'Six moons. Six moons and barely a trace left of him' Ned sighed "Tell them I appreciate their efforts, pay them the gold dragons for at least looking for him and make sure they get a warm meal and proper ale in their bellies before they return home."

Jory nodded as he left the solar and left Ned to his thoughts. 'Where are you Jon? Where did you go?' The scouts had said they'd found nothing which means they didn't find a body or blood or anything, Ned hoped that was positive news and that Jon was at least okay wherever he was. It had been six moons, he could be anywhere, he could be in Dorne, north of the wall or even Essos by now. Ned had specifically ordered Lord Manderly to search all incoming and outgoing ships for a man matching Jon's description but had received reports from him that nobody matching Jon's description had been spotted.

Ned sighed again, he found himself doing that a lot lately, at the age of 33, Ned felt twice his age with all the recent events. He thought he was gonna have a heart attack when the news that his son had gone missing reached King's Landing and that The Crown was helping him in his search, it was a double-edged sword, he wanted him found yes but if Rhaegar, Elia or anybody who'd met his sister looked into Jon's eyes then whispers would spread.

Ned leant back in his chair and reached into the draw of his desk, he found the note straight away, the note written by Jon specifically for him, the contents of which kept him awake for many nights of the week.

Dear Lord Stark,

I write to you with a heavy heart, I write in the hopes that it will grant closure to both you and I but I fear only one of us will receive such a thing.

As a son you have treated me like one of your trueborn children to a certain extent. I have gone needing for nothing whether it be food, shelter or education. I have grown up with my half-siblings that at times felt like full-fledged siblings and I am eternally grateful for that.

As a bastard you treated me with as much affection as you dare, you have been balancing your marriage and your wife's wishes with the wants and wishes of a bastard boy. This situation wasn't ideal for anybody.

I came to the conclusion that something had to change. Your marriage couldn't realistically change without ripping the family apart so that was never going to happen, as much as I appreciate daily reminders from your wife of the situation of my birth I had no control of, I do not wish to cause tension between the pair of you.

With that I realised I had to leave, leave for the benefit of your marriage, leave for the benefit of my future and leave for the benefit of my own sanity. I almost didn't want to leave without finding out news of my mother, the woman I'm pretty sure I will never know the identity of.

I don't understand your reasoning for withholding that precious information from me but with the sheer amount of times you've denied me, I assume there must be a good reason for it, in the end, I hope it was worth it.

If me leaving makes me a disappointment to you, if you think I'm just running away from my problems then, I'm sorry.

This maybe the last time we speak and if so then, I love you.

Jon.

Ned wiped a stray tear away at the last part of the letter, Ned's parting gift to him was another denial about his mother and Jon's parting gift was him saying that he loved him 'Did I ever say that to him myself?'. Ned closed his eyes in shame, wondering if he'd said it spoke volumes.

He wasn't the only person to receive a letter of their own, everyone in the family received one, even Sansa, but Cat and Theon received no such thing as to be expected. He remembers when the family found out Jon was gone.

6 moons ago...

The sound of clashing wood could be heard from his solar, he always enjoyed seeing the boys spar after breakfast.

Ned got up from his chair and made his way towards the balcony overlooking the yard.

When he looked over he could see Robb sparring with Theon with Bran and Rickon watching on.

With Theon yielding after being sent to his backside, Ned made his way down to them.

"Good morning my lord." Ser Rodrik greeted.

"Morning Ser Rodrik." Ned replied.

Robb turned to his father with a grin as he helped Theon back to his feet. "Did you see me send him into the dirt father?" Robb asked with the grin still plastered to his face.

"I did, but don't get overconfident Robb, first mistake in a fight is to underestimate your opponent. Plus, I think young Greyjoy here is ready to go again." Ned replied as he saw the look on Theon's face.

"Too right I am, Stark over here got a lucky break that's all." Theon replied.

Ned noticed that Jon was nowhere to be seen which was unusual for a lad who loved a good spar. "Where's your brother Robb? Would have thought he'd be sparring with you as well". Ned didn't miss the face Theon pulled whenever Jon was mentioned.

"Jon? I'm not sure father, I haven't seen him since last night." Robb answered.

"Not even at breakfast?" Ned asked.

Robb shook his head, "Nope. He wasn't even at breakfast."

"Unusual, not like Jon to miss breakfast, he seems to eat like a hungry wolf as of late." Ned replied with a chuckle.

"Probably needs to store all that energy for when he cowers away into those woods." Theon answered with his trade mark grin.

"...or break noses." Robb replied whilst smiling at Theon. Theon didn't look pleased at that remark and tried to catch Robb off guard with a swing but Robb had already seen it coming and parried thus carrying on with their spar.

Ned asked Bran and Rickon if they'd seen Jon, Bran said the same as Robb that he hadn't seen him since last night but Rickon's reply worried Ned a little.

"He walked me to my chambers and gave me a big hug goodnight like the ones you give us papa. I squeezed him back extra hard so he wouldn't cry."

"Cry? Why would he cry Rick?" Ned asked. Ned didn't like his answer.

"I don't know, he just looked extra sad last night so I tried to hug it away for him. I think it worked but he was already leaving before I could see his reaction."

Ned did not like this at all and got a dreaded case of foreboding, "Don't worry Rick, he'll be fine, I'll go check his chambers see if he's arisen from his beauty sleep."

Ned heard Bran and Rickon giggle at that as he made his way up to Jon's chambers, it wasn't like Jon to sleep in late so the last thing he expected was to see him still asleep.

Ned knocked on his door to see if he was decent but received no reply, he knocked again with the same outcome. He slowly opened the door whilst still letting Jon know that he was coming in but it was for nought, Jon wasn't there.

Worrying.

Ned left the chambers with haste and went to the godswood to see if he was there, nothing. Main hall, nothing. Stables, nothing. On his way to see the guards who were overwatching the gates he saw Arya making her way towards the yard.

"Arya, you haven't seen Jon around have you?" Ned pressed.

"No father, why? Is he in trouble?" Arya asked.

"Nobody has seen him since last night, he didn't turn up to breakfast this morning and Rickon said he looked upset last night." Ned replied. Arya looked worried.

"He might have gone into the wolfswood, he does spend an awful lot of time there, have you asked the guards on duty if they've seen him leave?" Arya asked.

"I'm just on my way there now, go and have a look around, see if you can find him and if you do tell him I want a word." Ned answered as he went towards the Hunter's Gate to talk to the on-duty guards.

Unfortunately, when he asked them he was told nobody had entered or exited through the Hunter's gate or any of the other three gates this morning. Now Ned was getting very nervous as he walked towards his solar and his thoughts were confirmed when he saw Arya running through the corridor towards him with a handful of sealed letters and a face full of tears.

"Father! Its Jon, I...I found these in his room...he...he's gone" Arya cried.

Ned ushered her into his solar as she hugged his side, "What do you mean he's gone?" Ned replied, he felt like the walls were closing in.

She handed him six letters, all sealed apart from one which had Arya's name on it, the rest of which had the names of all his children and one had his name on it.

'What have you done Jon?'

Arya was still crying as he read his letter and he knew why, Jon was gone, and as much as he tried he couldn't fault his reasons.

Ned had sent out scouts to search the wolfswood but reported back with not much of a lead. Nobody took the news well, well not nobody. Catelyn had almost brushed her hands clean of the whole situation stating that "If he wants to go out into the world and make something of himself then so be it." and that "We should respect his wishes." but nobody agreed with her, not even Sansa to everybody's surprise. Arya screamed at her mother and blamed her for everything whilst storming out of his solar that they were all in, Rickon was silently crying into Ned's side, Sansa looked regretful and Robb and Bran just looked distraught and disappointed.

Ned had already planned to send scouts, he was going to find Jon and when he returned he was determined to make Jon feel like he was in a home, a home he promised his sister that her son would be a part of.

'I'm sorry Lya'

Present day...

Ned was broken from his thoughts when Jory knocked and entered his solar.

"Lord Stark, there's been a deserter from the nights watch..." Jory left the rest unspoken.

"I'll be with you shortly." Ned replied as Jory left and shut the door behind him.

'Duty calls' Ned thought as he rose from his chair and exited his solar felling melancholy.

Jon

"CUNT!"

That was the fifth fish that had escaped his hook, each one that escaped gained an increasingly more aggressive name. 'Twat' was his previous adversary, he preferred 'Twat' to 'Cunt', 'Twat' was bigger and seemed to have a more cooperative attitude but 'Cunt' was boisterous and rebellious. Jon was also quite sure he was going insane.

"FUCK YOU THEN FISH! I DIDN'T WANT YOU ANYWAY YOU FUCKING FREAK! YOU FUCKING STINK! FUCK YOU!"

Yeah, he was losing his mind.

Jon huffed as he calmed his breathing, exerting precious energy calling a fish a freak was not the smartest of ideas, 'why am I so angry towards a dumb fish?'. Heading towards the front of the ship, Jon leant his arms on the railing and looked upon the horizon in the hopes of seeing some sort of land or anything. He'd believed he'd seen land hundreds of times in the past week or so but his eyes or his mind had deceived him, it was all starting to get disheartening.

He was wondering if all of this was worth it, If the moment he finds land he'll just keel over and die from the first thing he comes in contact with, wouldn't that just be hilarious. He remembers the whole journey he would have took just to die and he remembers the very beginning of his adventure...

Roughly 5 moons ago...

The Stony Shore looked as miserable as Jon felt, if Winterfell looked grey then the Stony Shore felt grey.

"Shithole" Jon whispered under his breath as he hitched his horse, gathered his belongings and made his way towards the poor excuse of a dock. Finding a decent ship was his main priority but at first glance he was not very optimistic.

Jon knew he needed to find an inn to sort himself out, he stunk, he needed a good meal and he needed a bed. So, with that in mind he made his way towards a building that look like an inn, it also looked like one of the only functional buildings in this heap.

As he stepped inside he was hit with the smell of sweat and fish, the floor felt damp and the room in general was unlit apart from the few candles that littered the individual tables and the bar. It also seemed that a fresh batch of fishermen had just docked and were getting settled in to the already busy establishment.

He found a quiet corner and called a maid over to take his order, he quickly found out that the inn was completely full 'fuck me'. He ordered a fish pie and ale and started to mull over ideas on what to do next, no rooms meant he was sleeping in the woods again and with the weather looking as miserable as he felt, he figured he'd be waking up wet.

The maid returned with his fish pie and his ale, "Thank you." Jon said as he handed over the coin to the young maid who accepted it with a smile and a blush. The meal itself was tasty, fish was obviously fresh, the pastry was crumbly and golden and Jon had no idea what the sauce was that was in it but he still wolfed it down with zeal. However, the ale...not so much, it tasted like a fermented puddle and Jon was pretty sure there was a chunk or two in it.

The general peace of the inn was broken when a loudmouth's voice rose above everybody else's.

"Aye, should have heard the little lassie, the way she was crying and screaming you'd have thought I'd gutted her HAHA...Well I gutted her in a sense but that's beside the point HA!" A scumbag of a sailor gloated to a fellow sailor at the table next to him, the sailor in question not looking remotely interested in what the he was saying.

Jon's mug creaked from the pressure with how hard he was squeezing it in rage 'fucking disgusting pig'. Taking a deep breath through his nose, Jon attempted to calmed his ire.

"Had her on the boat with me, was planning on making her my salt wife, bit young like but a few weeks and I'd have worn her in HA. Crazy bitch threw herself in the sea, never saw her emerge, pity." The scumbag finished with a belch.

The other sailor that accompanied him finished his ale, got up and walked out. "Oh, BYE THEN! Plenty more fish in the sea, isn't that right darling" The scumbag said as he slapped the backside of the young maid that passed by. The man was clearly drunk...and clearly a cunt.

"Maybe I'll steal you away and make you my salt wife little lady. I've got a nice boat, made of lovely ironwood, stole it from some northern cunt who was sailing on the sunset sea where he shouldn't have been, prick should've stuck to fucking his horse and rolling around in his precious snow HA" The scumbag leered at the maid as she made her way back to the bar.

This perked Jon's ears up.

With a hasty plan forming, Jon watched the scumbag neck mug after mug of ale 'How can he drink that piss?' and then stumble out of the inn 20 minutes later mumbling to himself. Jon decided he was going to take the opportunity that was given to him with both hands. He motioned to the maid and she came over to him, he told her that there was a nice grey palfrey hitched outside with a saddle and everything and that she could sell it to earn some coin for herself, that earnt him a lovely smile and a sincere thank you. With that Jon got up and followed the drunk all the way to the docks, Jon noticed the rather nice ship he was heading towards 'This will do nicely' he thought.

The scumbag entered the cabin of his ship, Jon followed him on quietly, storing his belongings in a crate on deck. The sun was going down, so Jon waited an hour on deck before sneaking into the cabin to check on the arsehole's situation, turns out he was completely out cold, Jon even started whistling a random tune to see if he would wake but the man was out like a light.

Jon rushed back and untied the rope the boat had used to dock, pulled down the sails and coasted the boat out into open water. He'd done it, he'd managed to find a decent boat which happened to have decent supplies if Jon's first glances were anything to go by, coupled with his own supplies he'd brought with him and the fact that he was stealing back a ship that previously belonged to somebody in his homeland, Jon was feeling rather pleased with himself right now.

An hour out from inland, Jon decided it was a fair distance for the drunk prick to swim back to shore from, 'if he drowned then...pity, like a wise man once said, plenty more fish in the sea'. He walked back into the cabin with his sword and woke the idiot up.

"WAKEY WAKEY, RISE AND SHINE PRINCESS!" Jon yelled as he grabbed hold of the man and dragged him on deck.

"Wha....what the fuck man...who the hell are you?" The drunk asked as he unsuccessfully tried to struggle out of Jon's grip.

"Captain Jon of the fuck you." Jon said as he threw the screaming man overboard, spitting down at him as he emerged from the water.

"WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! OY COMEBACK YA PRICK!" The scumbag shouted.

"I'm sorry, what did you say? I don't speak the common tongue." Jon replied.

"WHAT? STOP MESSING, LET ME BACK UP AND I'LL FORGET ABOUT ALL OF THIS!" The ironborn frantically replied as he tried to keep up with the boat.

"Eh? Nyke ȳdra daor shifang (I don't understand)" Jon replied in high valyrian.

And with that, Jon turned away from the screaming man and headed towards the bow of the ship, he looked out to the horizon, "Well, too late to back out now." and settled into the beginning of his journey.

Present day...

Jon was disturbed from his thoughts by the tugging of his fishing rod.

"Haha, got you now you little arsehole." Jon cheered as he reeled in a bite.

Jon had read all sorts of books on fishing and the different types of fish, the one he'd just caught was a sea bass but the colouring was off slightly. He'd started noticing a lot of oddities with some of his captures lately.

"Well that's dinner for tonight to go along with my fish desert and my beverage of fish blood." Jon japed with himself.

Water, a lack of water was slowly but surely becoming a problem. He had some left but he was rationing it so precisely that he worked out that he had one more month before he was completely out. He needed it to rain badly, he had several barrels open and ready for a downpour.

"Fucking fish." Jon said as he sat down with a huff and started preparing his dinner. He remembers the first week of his voyage when he nearly burnt down the ship whilst cooking one of his first captured fish, Jon chuckled to himself.

He was numb to the taste of fish now and it didn't make a difference what type of fish he caught it all just ended up tasting the same way, he'd caught the odd turtle here and there but he wasn't eating them, he's not a monster.

Ah, what he wouldn't do for one of Gage's famous beef-and-bacon pies back at Winterfell, the ones with the thick onion gravy and golden crust...

"I WANT PIEEEE!!!!" Jon screamed into the heavens.

Ned

The pastry was soft and crumbly as Ned tucks in to his supper, one of Gage's best and with how quiet the rest of the table was being at the moment they too were thoroughly enjoying their meal. Still didn't ease his concern about what the deserter of the night's watch had said earlier today though, harping on about monsters and walkers, it's all Ned needed right now.

Ned looked to his right and saw Arya staring into her pie and looking miserable. Jon's departure had affected everybody in the household in some way or another but Arya had been hit the hardest. She was extremely cold towards Sansa and Theon with the latter even returning from the yard with a few more bruises thanks to Arya and her collection of snowballs she likes to fill with stones. The way she was with her mother was a different story, she'd flat out refused to go to her embroidery classes saying "It's for old biddies and boring people". She once asked septa Mordane when she plans on "shrivelling up and crawling back into whatever hole she crawled out of" and has proceeded to pick up the mantle that Jon had left when it came to purposefully pissing off Catelyn.

Robb and Bran have been very similar when it comes to Jon's departure, both being quiet and overall not as lively as they used to be. Robb has thrown himself headfirst into his lordly duties which Ned couldn't be prouder of but it was a clear way for him to distract himself from the fact that he misses his brother.

Sansa seems to have changed the least out of anybody at first glance but Ned has noticed her trying to hide her disappointment in herself and it doesn't get easier for her when Arya straight up refuses to talk to her anymore.

Rickon has been running around like a lost puppy, always asking when Jon was coming home, Theon keeps making snide comments and smirking at his own jokes about Jon leaving and Catelyn, well Catelyn isn't in the slightest remorseful from the whole ordeal, if anything, she thinks the family has just overcome a great upheaval and can now move forward like nothing had happened.

Ned had to inform the rest of the family of the scout's findings or lack of if he was being honest, he knew Arya was not going to take it well. He turned to Catelyn and quietly spoke to her, "Round up all the children after supper and bring them to my solar."

"Has something happened?" Catelyn asked.

"Everything will be explained in my solar, away from prying ears." Ned replied.

The meal had ended and Ned headed to his solar to prepare for what he was about to tell the children, they weren't gonna like it one bit but there was nothing he could do, Jon was long gone.

Sooner than he was prepared for, the children and Cat all made their way into the solar, he could see the questions on their faces already.

"What's happened father? Is it Jon? Have they found him?" Arya asked as soon as she entered the room.

"Everybody take a seat and I'll explain everything." Ned replied as everybody took a chair.

Ned sighed and mentally prepared himself for what was to come, "You're correct in thinking this is pertaining to Jon's whereabouts" Ned answered as he looked at Arya.

"The last batch of scouts I sent out a moon ago finally returned, but unfortunately they haven't been able to find a conclusive trail of Jon. I received a raven from Lord Manderly in White Harbour, he too has had no reported sightings fitting a man of Jon's description. Reports from Castle Black from your Uncle Benjen, The Neck from Lord Reed's personal scouts and The Crown themselves have all come back negative. Jon has completely vanished."

He could see Arya tearing up but he had to get through this, "The scouts that returned this afternoon said that if Jon is out there he's made damn sure they can't follow him, he's being a complete ghost to them. And unfortunately, I have come to the difficult decision to call off the search and send the men back to their homes, it's unfair to keep them from their families, trying to find somebody who doesn't want to be found" Ned finished as he looked at the gutted faces of everyone in the room, well not everyone.

"YOU CAN'T, YOU HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING, PLEASE FATHER!" Arya screamed with tears running down her face.

"I'm sorry Arya but the decision has been made. If Jon wants to return home then he'll come back when he's ready." Ned replied.

"WE CAN'T ABANDON HIM, HE NEEDS TO BE HERE WITH HIS FAMILY...I...I miss him so much." Arya looked down as she finished. Devastated didn't even cut it the way Arya was at this point and her screaming and crying had set Rickon off with the tears as well.

Ned felt terrible.

"Calm down Arya, your making your little brother cry." Catelyn chided, the total lack of sensitivity amazed Ned at times.

The look Arya gave her mother chilled Ned to the bone. "This is your fault this! He's gone because of YOU! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS! I. HATE. YOU!" Arya screamed at Catelyn as she ran out of the solar. Ned called to Jory at the end of the corridor and told him to keep an eye on her, he didn't want her doing something stupid.

Ned sits back down in his chair with a huff just before Robb asked him a difficult question, "Father, you...you don't think he's dead do you?" Ned could see the fear in his son's eyes as he asked him that.

He needed to shut that kind of thinking down immediately, "He's not dead Robb, it's Jon, he can look after himself plus if he was dead the scouts would have found something by now surely." Ned replied, not a hundred percent positive in his own claims. But he was still refusing to believe in the worst-case scenario.

Catelyn timely intervened, "Maybe we have to come to the conclusion that Jon is really gone. It's going to impact all of us with the loss but it's not something that as a family we can't overcome. Maybe hold a ceremony in his memory so that he knows he's not forgotten, we can invite some of the lords to attend, lords like Lord Karstark and Lord Manderly. They can bring their whole family along with them as well, we'll give Jon a respectable send-off." Catelyn finished with a soft smile on her face, Sansa nodding in agreement.

Ned knew what she was doing and by the looks of things so too did Robb, she'd been hinting about betrothals to both Robb and himself. Robb rose from his seat with a scowl on his face aimed at his mother and ushered Bran and Rickon out of his solar, promising them a bedtime story. Ned couldn't believe her audacity, there was no way it was a coincidence that the two houses she mentioned happened to have ladies of a similar age to Robb that weren't betrothed.

Catelyn, thoroughly pleased with herself rises from her seat along with Sansa and started making their way towards the door whilst tutoring Sansa on to suitably prepare the keep when holding an event and how a lady is supposed to make sure everything is in order.

"You're wasting your time Cat, there won't be a ceremony." Ned muttered, he could feel his veins boiling from anger.

"Its closure for the all of us Ned, it's something we all need after this ordeal. Once the funeral is over with we can, as a family, begin the path to recovery." Catelyn replied, unaware of Ned's rage that at this moment had reached its limit.

"THERE'S NOT GONNA BE A FUNERAL BECAUSE NOBODY HAS DIED! AND YOUR RIDICULOUS PLAN TO FIND ROBB A WIFE DURING THIS IMAGINARY CEREMONY WON'T BE HAPPENING EITHER!" Ned yelled as Catelyn stared straight back with a stone face whilst Sansa was taking a step back towards the door.

"It's going to eat you alive Ned, the first step of grief is denial, you need to come to the realisation that Jon isn't coming back. Whilst you're stewing in your own misery about the boy your children are growing up around you and you're missing out on it all." And with that, Catelyn and Sansa exited the room but not without Sansa gracing him with a concerned smile which he returned for her sake more than his.

"FOR FUCK SAKE!" Ned yelled into the empty solar as he launched his chair across the room. Taking deep breaths, he realised he needed to calm down, he needed to pray and there was only one place he could do that.

Grabbing his cloak, he exited his room and walked past a concerned looking Jory, "Not a word." Ned said to him as he exited the keep into the cold night and made his way towards the godswood to pray to his gods for too many reasons.

Jon

There was a chill in the air, Jon could feel it on his face as he laid there on deck wrapped up in his trusty bear pelt. The sky was clear today and the seagulls were flying around in formation in perfect synchronisation, it was mesmerising. It was one of the many interesting things he'd seen on this trip and Jon had seen a lot of things.

He'd seen some beautiful things, like the oddly stripped fish that looked like it had almost something like bird feathers growing from it. He wanted to catch one and see what it tasted like but if Jon was being honest, he was scared of shitting out a lung from poisoning.

He'd seen some odd things, like the dog he saw...or fish...Jon wasn't too sure what he'd seen that day. They were timid but friendly little creatures, unfortunately the moment he'd called out to one they would dart away.

And then there was the not so pleasant things, like the thick fog he'd sailed through that lasted for nearly two weeks. The odd jagged rocks here and there that poked out of the water whilst sailing through and don't even get him started on the rather long appendage that he swears he saw through the dense fog, that thing gave Jon nightmares, it was a miracle he'd even got out the other side.

Thinking back to those memories, Jon's mind travelled even further into the past. Getting lost in his thoughts about his siblings was one of his favourite past times lately, about Sansa, when she would concentrate so hard on her stitching that the tip of her tongue would peek out of her mouth. Or Bran, who nearly gave Jon a heart attack when he decided to take a shortcut outside by climbing out of Jon's bedroom window. Of Robb, when he used to wake Jon up on a morning with a handful of snow to the face and a body slam for good measure.

He thought about little Rickon who he still to this day didn't understand what it was that he saw when he looked at Jon with a face full of awe. He thought of Arya, his biggest supporter. He hopes she's still soldiering on, being the biggest pain in the arse to her parents that she can possibly be and hopes she's still turning a blind eye to septa Mordane's poisonous teachings and beliefs. There was Theon...he can fuck off as far as Jon was concerned.

And then came their parents. Catelyn Tully Stark was prejudiced, she was vindictive, she was a borderline extremist when it came to her twisted beliefs and she was a bitch. Hate is a strong word...Jon hated her, nothing much else to it. And then there was his father, the honourable Lord Eddard Stark. A man who at face value was the most upstanding person you'll ever meet but to Jon he was a man guilty of lies and secrets, a man guilty of negligence. What on earth had Ned Stark done to deem it necessary to hide the identity of Jon's mother away from him? Am I the product of rape? Am I the bastard son of a woman who was already married at the time I was conceived? Did Lord Stark cuckold somebody? 'Oh god, please don't be Catelyn's crazy sister', Jon shuddered.

Its whatever, that's all in the past now, nothing he can do about it, his mother might as well be the fucking Queen at this point, it wasn't gonna change anything. As much as he tries to keep a positive outlook for the future he wasn't naive, Jon was pretty sure he was gonna die soon. He'd seen no boats, no people, no land, there was nothing, just an endless horizon for half a year. He couldn't return back; a lack of supplies would finish him off before he even saw Westeros again and he'd still have to sail back through the mass of jagged rocks and dense fog he only just survived by sheer luck on the way here.

Jon rubbed his face in resignation, brushing his fingers through his thick beard he was rather proud of if he was being honest. He knew it needed a trim and so did his hair, hanging past the top of his shoulders, He'd ended up tying it up in a bun, something he'd never done before and he still wasn't sure if he liked it or not, regardless, it needed cutting for what it was worth in the long run.

With a sigh, Jon closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the waves, it always lulled him and he would nod off pretty easily. It wasn't the only thing that helped him sleep, the sound of water splashing, of the waves rocking the boat like his mother would rock him to sleep when he was a baby...if she wasn't a phantom from Jon's dreams. The sound of the odd seagull cawing in the distance, the flapping of his boat's sails, the distant shouting of fellow sailors.

...wait.

Jon's eyes shot open as he jumped to his feet and looked in the direction the shouts were coming from, in the distance, about 150 yards away he could see an odd-looking sail boat, it had an awning of sorts built right in the middle of it and underneath it there were two people shouting and waving their arms in his direction.

'Pirates'.

Or so Jon thought. As he prepared for an attack, grabbing his sword that was leant against the main mast, the odd-looking boat gently coasted towards the side of his. He was higher up than them on deck so he got a good view of them, they looked nothing like pirates, they looked...different in a way he couldn't describe. The two men were looking up at him with friendly expressions but also seemed to be working him out as well.

The man on the right shouted up at him in a language totally foreign to Jon so all he could do was shrug his shoulders, point to his mouth and shake his head. The man seemed to realise the situation and started talking with signs as well. He pointed to himself, then pointed to Jon and then finally pointed towards the horizon while nodding his head. Confused, Jon looked to where the man was pointing and his eyes grew wide. They wanted him to follow them, in the direction they were pointing, to land, to actual land.

'Oh my god, I did it...I actually did it'. Jon thought has his heart threatened to burst.

Land ahoy.