44. Dance With Me Tonight

Okay, so I kept my mouth shut about anything regarding CPD for some months because I wanted to see what S4 is like first and the start was promising. But now I feel like it's time for another rant...because it's been a while and we're halfway through the season...and because this story was created out of my frustration about the cancelled road trip and started with a rant as well. So if you don't want to know my opinion about the things that lately happened on the show, just skip this little intro and jump right to the new chapter (also if you haven't caught up to S4 yet).

One of the things I always loved most about CPD was the relationship between Erin and Hank because they celebrated that family isn't bound by blood. So Hank out of a sudden being her real dad...nope. Just nope. This would ruin their whole relationship and storyline for me. He's her father already and they don't need to share a DNA for that. Leave him being the man who saved her life and was the father she never had, the father she deserved, the man who raised her and made her the person she is today. Let him stay the person who took her in because he saw something in her that nobody did before, not the guy who knew there was a possibility that he was her father and saved her because he felt guilty. I don't even want to think about the possibility of Hank being her real father because it makes me cringe and I don't know how I would go on from there. And neither do want to imagine what it would do to Erin when the only good part of her growing up turns out to be a lie. Talk about her world breaking into pieces once more...

Now on to Linstead: yes, let them fight, yes let them have some bumps, no relationship is perfect and couples need to have fights to grow and I like some angst if they still end up staying together. But what I'm disappointed about is that we were promised so many things for S4, like that Erin leans on Jay more and lets him in. So yes, the DNA test wasn't the smartest move but it wasn't like that he did it behind her back. He was just looking out for her and wanted to make sure she doesn't live in that happy bubble for too long and falls even harder when it bursts. Because that's who Jay is, always trying to protect her. And yet, Erin keeps running away like she usually does, almost like she blames him for the result, and pours her feelings down with alcohol because hey, this worked so well for her in the past, right? Talk about great character development (though I guess character development is a foreign word in the CPD writer's room, smh). This was such a perfect opportunity to finally give us a scene where Erin relies on Jay after a tough day but instead they waste it for a scene with a 'friend' who wasn't in the picture since late S1 - kudos.At this point all I want is a scene of them at home, where Jay's just holding her and is there for her and Erin actually lets him being there for her. Is this too much to ask for? I don't even want Skinstead anytime soon, I just want to see them growing in their relationship because how will they ever build a future when they still can't hit solid grounds?

We were also promised to see how it is for two very independent people to live together - well, was there even one domestic Linstead scene so far?! I want to see them cuddling in bed (because thanks to a deleted scene we know Erin loves it), I want them to argue about who took the last milk from the fridge or who has to do the laundry. I want to see them outside of the Bullpen or Molly's, just like I imagined after what the producers teased during the summer - but here we go again, imagination and hard reality what they actually give us...must be nice to get the viewer's attention with false promises that make them all excited...

Another thing: Linstead was supposed to be the sun between the clouds in S4 and thanks to Derek's Q&A's I don't think there'll be sun anytime soon. So while I keep on waiting for them to be the sun I prepare myself that they'll be the clouds before the season ends. Am I surprised by this? Nope. Not at all. CPD is a show of inconsistency so why not breaking them up for a second time (not sure whether they really go down that path again because actually they can't right? Right?!) and bring them back together for a third, regardless that it makes a relationship look ridiculous and implausible. Linstead have been through so much and we all know they're endgame because they're THE couple of the show (for me even THE couple of the whole franchise) but instead of giving them happiness for a minute they continue to throw drama at them because apparently there are no other characters on the show they can create drama with.

Honestly, I'm so sick and tired of it.

Rant over.

Sorry if anyone feels 'attacked' (because they feel different about it) but this is my opinion and I needed to get it off my chest. I've never been as invested in a TV show and their main couple before, so that's my sheer disappointment talking here.

44. Dance With Me Tonight

″Hey,″ Jay called after unlocking the door of their apartment and stepping into the hall. The first thing he heard was Emmy's mewling from the bedroom and he had to grin by this familar sound as he'd quite missed it throughout the day. Today had been his first day back in the bullpen, the first time that he had to leave Erin and Emilia alone for more than an hour. It'd been strange to leave them alone in the morning and not having his two favorite girls around. He had traded texts with Erin throughout the whole day though, she had sent him photos and luckily Hank was still very clement with him and he didn't have to go with them on late-night busts for another week and was instead allowed to leave the bullpen at 6pm to enjoy some quality time with Erin and Emilia.

The previous week had gone smooth, at least as smooth as possible. They had spent their days with taking strolls, going grocery shopping, visiting the pediatrician to check whether Emilia was developing and gaining weight in the way she should but just like every newborn she'd lost a little bit of weight during the first week although she was such a good eater. And of course they had visited their colleagues in the bullpen, had spent some time with them there while the others had literally fought who was allowed to hold Emmy first. Their nights were still as sleepless but since Erin has started to express milk three days ago Jay could at least also feed Emilia during the night, so they took turns with giving her the bottle or in Erin's case, nursing her.

″Look who's back home,″ Erin said to her daughter when she walked into the living room.

″Hey beautiful,″ Jay grinned and walked to Erin, pressing a kiss on her lips instantly.

″And hello my favorite little girl,″ he soothed and took the mewling baby from Erin's arms. ″Why are you crying? Are you a little unhappy today?″ he asked and kissed her head before he sat down on the couch with her. He extended his arm to show Erin that she should join him and of course she snuggled into his side immediately.

″How was your day?″ he asked, stroking up and down her arm with his hand.

″Not too bad,″ Erin answered. ″We were outside for an hour in the morning and in the afternoon and went to the farmer's market and then we cooked dinner and did all this other housewifely stuff, like doing the laundry, folding clothes and putting them back in the dressers and closets, vaccuming the rooms. And we also tried to sleep, but that was kind of a mission impossible today because she was so unsettled all day long and only slept for an hour before she would cry again,″ she sighed.

″That's because she missed me,″ Jay smirked.

″I really think she did,″ she confirmed. ″She wasn't that calm and angelic all day,″ she added, looking at Emmy who was dozing off on Jay's chest. ″But she's not the only one who missed you.″

″I missed you two, too, believe me,″ he murmured and buried his face in her hair. ″I guess we all have to get used to this new situation first.″

″Mhm,″ Erin nodded in response. ″How was your day?″

″Normal day in the bullpen. Following leads with our current case, that's it. Best part of the day was when you texted me these super cute photos of this little angel though,″ he smirked.

″Yep, I really tried to make the best out of the rare times she looked peaceful,″ she chuckled.

″Keep them coming, the guys liked them, too.″

″Will try my best,″ she yawned.

″Hey, how about you take a shower and try to catch some sleep and I take care of her for the next three or so hours?″

″Sounds too good to be true,″ she smiled faintly and got up from the couch. ″There's dinner in the pot on the stove, you just need to heat it up again.″

″I'll wait for you,″ he winked.

″Alright, I try to make it quick,″ she said and shuffled into the direction of the bathroom.

″Hey babe,″ he called and she turned around to him again. ″Tomorrow evening we have a date,″ he grinned from ear to ear and although she wasn't standing really close to him, she could see the tiniest bit of excitement sparkling in his eyes.

″Who?″ she frowned.

″You and me. Date night. Tomorrow.″

″Uhm...you maybe forgot something important when you made your plan, huh?″ she answered and her eyes fell on the sleeping baby.

″No worries, I have it all organized. Because you know, I have a babysitter guy,″ he chuckled.

″Do you?″ she asked back and raised her eyebrows but a smile spread across her face, too. Of course her couch guy had a babysitter guy and of course they both thought about the same situation right now. A babysitter guy who'd take care of their baby that was conceived on the one couch she'd needed a couch guy for.

″Uh-huh,″ he nodded. ″Very reliable. And it wasn't a big deal to convince him, so we can go on a date tomorrow and for one evening pretend we don't have parental duties.″

″Can I think about this?″ she joked.

″Nope,″ Jay grinned. ″You don't have a chance here, sorry.″

″Too bad,″ she laughed, turned around and disappeared in the bathroom.

Jay was sure Erin had completely forgotten what day tomorrow was. He couldn't blame her for it, she had much more important things to do at the moment and usually they wouldn't make a big deal out of that day. Valentine's Day. They didn't need a day to celebrate their love. He didn't need a day to show her how much he loved her as it was his goal to show her this every single day. But Valentine's Day was the perfect excuse to tell her and show her once again how much he loved her and he wanted to spend some time just with her, wanted to take her out, wanted to show her that not all of their old life was lost. He knew this was important for her and it also was for him. He wanted her to get out of their apartment for other things than running for errands or walking around with the stroller. He completely cherished and loved the new life they had but it was still very important that they had time as a couple, as just the two of them and Valentine's Day seemed to be the perfect occasion for their first date night since Emilia was born. And of course this wasn't a sudden idea out of the blue but he had instead planned this special day a couple of weeks ago already.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

″Emilia, your daddy is a kidder,″ Erin sighed and closed the door of her closet after she'd been standing in front of it for good ten minutes. She turned around and looked to her daughter who was lying on their bed, kicking with her tiny legs and arms occasionally, stretching her tiny fingers and scanning her surroundings, or in this case, her mother, with awake eyes.

″He wants me to wear a dress. A dress,″ she said and leaned over her daughter, her ellbows left and right from Emilia's body so she could rest her head in her palms and look directly into her baby's perfect and cute little face and her deep blue eyes. ″I mean, did he forget that I gave birth to you only two weeks ago and that all the dresses I wore before you inhabited my stomach don't fit again already?″ she asked.

Although the swelling of her stomach was almost completely gone she was still far from having the body she's had before her pregnancy. She's indeed already lost a couple of pounds thanks to breastfeeding but there were of course no more abs, no more flat stomach and a little too much of baby fat on her thighs, hips and waist for her liking. But for now she wanted to give her body a little more time to recover from the pregnancy, maybe two to four more weeks, before she would start to do workouts again and bring her body back into shape. She had to buy a wedding dress within the next couple of months after all.

″Huh, do you have an opinion about this little lady?″ she asked and leaned down to kiss her cheeks and then her belly. ″Maybe I should suggest him to wear leggins and a hoodie but as he wants me to wear a friggin' dress I doubt that this would be appropriate,″ she chuckled.

″He knows that I don't like wearing dresses so I bet this must be a super fancy place where we go, don't you think?″ she sighed, giving Emilia her smallest finger so she could wrap her hand around it. ″It's a pitty that you're not able to talk yet because I bet he told you about his plan, am I right?″ she grinned and placed another kiss on Emilia's forehead.

″Guess I have to tell him that I unfortunately don't have a dress for whatever he's planned for tonight.″

She turned to her back so that she was lying directly next to her baby girl, pulled her phone out of the pocket of her hoodie and took a selfie of Emilia and herself to send it to Jay, adding a simple text about not having a dress and asking him whether a jeans and one of her nicer shirts would do the job, too.

It didn't even take a minute until she got his answer back. It was obviously a really low day in the bullpen and he had way too much time.

″My side of the closet, in between my suit and shirts,″ Erin read his text aloud. ″What does that mean Emmy?″ she asked her daughter and got up to check out the content of his side of the closet. She pushed a couple of shirts aside until she found what was talking about and for a moment she was completely speechless. She grabbed the hanger with the simple but elegant and comfy looking black dress with a v-neck and three-fourths sleeves. Jay Halstead had bought her a dress because he'd known that none of the ones she had would fit her again already. Was there anything in this world this man did not think about when he planned a surprise?

″Your daddy is the loveliest dork that exists on this planet,″ Erin said smilingly and her voice came as emotional as she was. ″Look at this,″ she added and showed Emilia her new dress. ″Do you think I'll look good wearing it?″ she asked right before her phone started ringing. She pulled it out of the pocket of her hoodie again and of course it was Jay's face together with Emilia's that flashed across the screen.

″How do you like it?″ he greeted her before she could say anything. Only from the sound of his voice she could tell that he was smiling.

″I love it,″ she smirked. ″And I love you. Thank you.″

″Love you, too. Be ready at 7.″

″Will try my best,″ she laughed, hung up and then picked Emilia up to enjoy some cuddles with her.

″What do you think Emmy?″ she whispered, ″will you let mommy take a shower, do her hair and put make-up on all before 7?″ she asked, already knowing that it wouldn't work that smooth for sure and as if Emilia wanted to agree she started to mewl just a couple of seconds later.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Getting ready until 7pm became, as expected, quite a challenge and there were moments when Erin thought she would not make it in time and maybe also moments where she thought that she would rather enjoy the evening on the couch and catch some sleep instead of having a date night far away from their warm, comfy, beloved bed. But on the other hand she was kinda excited to spend a baby-free evening with just Jay, where they could talk undisturbed and just enjoy their togetherness. So her afternoon had consisted of a constant change between showering and nursing Emmy, between expressing her milk and doing her hair and changing diapers, between trying to put some make-up on and rocking her baby back to sleep.

It was shortly before 7pm, after nursing Emmy one last time before they would go, after changing her clothes for the night and putting her to bed, when she finally changed her leggins and shirt to the black dress. Of course it fit her perfectly and she honestly hadn't expected anything else. Standing in front of the mirror and flattening the fabric of the dress on her thighs she had to admit that the dark color really flattered her current build and that the dress looked surprisingly good on her. She loosened the ponytail so her hair, she'd done earlier, could fall onto her shoulders in soft waves. True to the motto: let's go the whole hog, she put a pair of highheels on, hoping that they wouldn't spend too much time outside. Otherwise her toes and feet would maybe not survive the night and rather freeze to death.

When she heard a key unlocking the front door, she walked into the living room to welcome her 'date' and the brightest of smiles spread across her face when she saw him, maybe even her mouth dropped open a little. There was something about seeing Jay in a suit that made it impossible for her to stare anywhere else but him. With his black suit and the white shirt with the top buttons being open he just looked sexy and handsome beyond limits.

Jay's smile was just as bright when he looked at his fiancée because she looked absolutely incredible and he wasn't able to turn his eyes away from her either. The highheels which made her legs look so long, the v-neck of her dress which perfectly emphasized her breasts, the subtle make-up and the soft waves of her dirty blonde hair that surrounded her face. This was what perfection looked like.

″You can close your mouth now,″ Jay chuckled as he was the first to find his words again.

″You can stop drooling and eating me up with your glance now,″ she sassed back. He closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing a passionate kiss against her lips.

″You look absolutely gorgeous,″ he murmured into her mouth.

″You don't look too bad yourself either,″ she chuckled and kissed him again. ″When did you change?″

″Took a shower at work and had my suit there already,″ he grinned.

″Always prepared, huh?″

″Of course,″ he laughed. ″Where's my other princess?″

″Sleeping,″ she answered and he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the bedroom.

Having his arm wrapped around her shoulder they both stared into the bassinet and watched their daughter sleeping for a couple of minutes.

″I still can't believe we did this,″ Jay smiled, pressing a kiss against Erin's temple. Every time he looked at his daughter he was still all fascinated, felt beyond blessed and was so damn proud that this little bundle of life was their daughter.

″I can't believe she's already two weeks old tomorrow. I mean, two weeks ago today was a really tough day, you remember?″ Erin chuckled.

″Could never forget that in my life,″ he whispered, all the love he had for her sparkling from his bright blue eyes once again.

It took ten more minutes until a knock on the door signalised them that their babysitter was here. Erin opened the door and had to grin when she saw that Jay's babysitter guy wasn't his brother but Hank. She didn't even know why she'd expected it to be Will instead of Hank but she'd somehow thought Jay would rather ask his brother. She trusted them both in the same way and they were both allowed to babysit Emilia any time but the fact that Emilia would spend the evening with her grandpa made her even happier than she already was. After all this was the first time that she would be seperated from her daughter for at least four hours, maybe more, depending on what Jay had planned. And it didn't come easy to her to say goodbye to her little princess.

″Alright,″ Erin sighed after taking her jacket on. ″The bottles with milk are in the fridge. There's exactly the amount of milk inside she should drink. You just need to heat it up but take care that it's not too hot.″

″Sure, it's not the first time I take care of a baby, Erin,″ Hank smirked.

″Yeah, I know,″ Erin mumbled and her cheeks blushed a little. ″We fed her with the bottle occasionally the last three nights, so she shouldn't have a problem with it. But if there's anything, don't hesitate to call us so we'll be back in no time.″

″Of course,″ Hank nodded.

″Okay,″ Erin sighed, walked into the bedroom again to give Emilia another kiss, hesitated at her crib for a moment and then joined Hank and Jay in the living room again.

″Are you ready?″ Jay asked, reaching for her hand.

″I think so,″ she said and gave Jay a small, almost insecure smile.

″Then let's go,″ he grinned and pulled her towards the door.

″Oh wait,″ she said and stopped, turned her attention to Hank again. ″While she's awake and with you in the living room, you can air the bedroom for five to ten minutes but before you bring her back in you have to check that it's not too cold.″

″Uh-huh,″ Hank nodded but couldn't hide a little smile. ″I'll get it handled, no worries, Erin.″

″It's just the first time,″ she shrugged and it sounded like she was apologizing for her behavior.

″Hey Er, it's okay,″ Jay assured her immediately and squeezed her hand. ″You rather wanna stay here?″

″No,″ she answered and shook her head. ″It's just a little harder than I imagined it would be,″ she smiled faintly.

″I'll call you in case there's anything, I promise,″ Hank chimed in. ″But no call means you can enjoy your night, kiddo, so please just enjoy your night.″

″I will,″ Erin nodded and turned her head to Jay again. ″Let's hit the streets.″

He leaned down to gave her a short kiss before they waved to Hank once again and left him alone in their apartment by closing the door from the outside. Hank walked into the bedroom and leaned over the bassinet of his granddaughter only to see that she was awake, and stroked her little cheeks with the back of his fingers.

″Have you thought that your mommy would be such an overprotective mama-bear?″ he asked quietly. ″Because I haven't. Your dad, yes, I was sure he would be all protective over you, but your mommy, that's honestly a little surprising. I never thought that she could be like this but damn was I wrong and you know what: I'm so happy that I was,″ he said and picked her up into his arms, let her look over his shoulder and rubbed her back.

″She's so protective over you because she loves you so much and for me it's the greatest thing to see your mom so entirely happy and so in love with her life. That's all I've ever wanted and there were times when I thought I would never see her like this. But thanks to you and your dad she is and I will forever be thankful for this,″ he said, resting his cheek against the side of her head. ″I have to admit I can't believe I'm thankful for your dad knocking up your mom but I am. Because just like your parents I can't imagine a life without you anymore. You are my little girl, my princess, Emmy. Forever.″

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

A candle-light gala-dinner in the Signature Room of the Hancock Tower, with cheesy love songs playing in the background, with food to die for and an incredible view on the Chicago skyline that was always something special in the dark. This was what Jay had planned for this very Valentine's Day. It was quite an exclusive event with way less tables than one would usually find in the restaurant and instead there was lots of room for a dance floor. Sitting down on their table for two, that was decorated with the leafs of red roses and some small candles with flickering flames, next to the giant windows and then reading the menu they could expect this evening, Erin couldn't help but slightly shaking her head.

″What's up?″ Jay asked smirkingly after sitting down on his side of the table.

″We're all fancy now, huh?″ she grinned and she had to admit that she really liked it feeling so special. And fancy. Much to her own surprise. She would've been fine with just burgers and fries at Au Cheval.

″Sometimes,″ Jay smirked, covering her hand with his, stroking over her fingers with his thumb.

″I think I like being fancy sometimes,″ she chuckled.

″Glad to hear that,″ he winked. ″Will you dance with me tonight?″

″Uhm, I highly doubt that,″ she laughed.

″What? Why not?″ he asked and acted like he was upset about it.

″I don't think I feel like dancing at the moment.″

″I will convince you,″ he grinned. ″And you know: we need to practice because I assume there's a wedding dance coming up soon.″

With mentioning the wedding and the honeymoon associated with it, they'd found a topic they kept on talking for a little while longer, always enjoying little courses of their gala dinner in between. But there was one thing about their impending wedding Jay still had to adress and while they were waiting for their main course, he used the time to start talking about it. He had to do it eventually anyway, no matter whether he wanted to do it or not. And it was something they really needed to talk about before making further arrangements. For him, the things Hank had told him a little over a week ago on the way to the playground didn't change a thing but he wasn't sure whether the same applied for Erin, whether she was on the same page. This was why he'd sort of pushed this conversation to another day all the time but slowly but steady they needed to do the thing properly so pushing it any further wasn't the smartest thing to do.

″There's something I need to talk with you about,″ Jay said and gone was all the joke, all the flirt in his voice and he was suddenly dead serious.

″I don't like the sound of that,″ Erin answered and chuckled nervously.

″Hmm,″ he just shrugged in response.

″Seriously, just spit it out, you make me nervous right now.″

″It's nothing bad,″ he assured her immediately, squeezing her hand. ″It's just something Hank approached me about last week and he begged me to talk about with you,″ he added and started to tell her what Hank had told him on that chilly Sunday afternoon.

Hank was pushing Emilia's stroller and Jay was walking next to him, Noah sitting on his shoulders, his legs left and right to Jay's neck, his little hands resting on Jay's beanie. For some time they walked in silence and Noah was the only one who was constantly babbling. About birds and cars and the playground. He was beyond excited, everyone could see and hear that.

″How are things with the wedding going?″ Hank asked when they could already see the big playground in the distance.

″We haven't had time to really get into it yet. The wedding will be by the end of July but no decisions have been made yet,″ Jay answered, scanning the man who was basically his father-in-law for a moment, trying to figure out where this conversation was about to go.

″Well, I guess that's a good thing,″ Hank said and Jay's face grew even more skeptical by this statement. Was he about to take his approval back or what was he trying to tell him?

″What is that supposed to mean?″ he frowned and his voice came more furious than he'd intended.

″The Ivory Tower, or Crowley in particular, approached me on Friday,″ Hank answered, giving Jay a meaningful glance and making a dramatic pause. Of course it immediately clicked and Jay sensed to know what the older man was going to say next.

″What did she want?″ he asked and now his voice had changed to being nervous.

″We both know, don't we, Jay?″ Hank asked back, looking directly into Jay's eyes. Brown meeting blue. No later than now Jay felt his suspicion confirmed and his heart maybe started beating a little faster in his chest. ″With the two of you marrying there's no chance you can stay partners and at the moment it looks just as bad for the two of you staying in the same unit,″ Hank confirmed. Although Jay had known that these words were coming he had to swallow hardly. He had never thought about this possibility before. That the Ivory Tower, or Crowley, would separate them, place them in different units or districts. Not being partners anymore was one thing and although he didn't like it, he could maybe understand the reason behind it a little, but that they weren't allowed to stay in Intelligence both? This was something he hadn't expected.

″And I wanted you to know that and I want Erin to know about it,″ Hank interrupted Jay's thoughts as the younger man didn't answer anything.

″Why? Because you think she will change her mind?″ Jay snapped.

″Doesn't this change things for you, Jay?″ Hank asked back, his voice also rising a little.

″No!″ Jay called furiously. ″I didn't ask her because I felt like asking her, because it was meant to be a joke or something. I asked her because I love her and I want her to be my wife. I asked her because I meant it. Because I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Because I want to make her a promise for a lifetime and give her a ring for eternity. I want to marry her, Hank.″

″It's just a ring, Jay.″

″Getting married is not just about a ring and I'm pretty sure you know that.″

″But in this case this ring would change everything,″ Hank said and Jay's eyes were still wide as he looked at him, as his mind put the pieces together and he couldn't believe the picture that built in his head.

″So let me get this straight: us being together was never a problem. Us having a baby also never seemed to be a problem, a reason for any changes. But marrying her is one? This is ridiculous,″ Jay said and laughed sardonically.

″It's because you'll be an official family then,″ Hank tried to explain.

″We are a family already!″

″Jay, you two will be husband and wife. That's the closest connection two people can have. And you're going to have the same name.″

″So this is about a name?″ Jay asked stunned and once again couldn't hide a sardonic laughter. ″Because this won't be a problem. She'll keep her name for work and take mine for everything regarding our personal life.″

″It's not about a name,″ Hank disagreed. ″These are the rules, Jay. I didn't make them but I can understand them, can't you?″

″No. Because they're beyond any comprehensibility. We never gave the department any reason to split us up. We never brought our personal life to work. We kept it professional all the way along because we respect our jobs and our private life is our private life and that's what we get for it?″ he asked and tried his best to keep his voice under control but of course he was still all furious.

″It wasn't my idea, believe me,″ Hank said and for the first time his voice softened a little, even his eyes showed the tiniest bit of compassion. ″Because you can bet I want to keep the two of you in my unit.″

″So that's it? We're marrying and our wedding gift will be that we have to work in different districts?″ Jay asked.

″Or you're not marrying and you can both stay in Intelligence and nothing will change,″ Hank said.

″This is not an option,″ he answered and shook his head.

″What about Erin?″ Hank asked and Jay felt his heart dropping to his knees a little by this question. This wasn't an option for her either, right? She was all in in this whole wedding-thing. She'd said yes because she wanted it as much as he did. But maybe the possibility of them not working together anymore would completely change things for her. Would she want them to sacrifice their partnership at work for a wedding band? He couldn't say that he was entirely sure that Erin would be on the same page as him regarding this newest drama. He still wanted to marry her, even if that meant that their precious partnership at work would come to an end. But he could also understand if this was something that would throw Erin completely off, that one of them having to leave Intelligence would make her change her mind. Maybe for her a ring wasn't worth it and they should simply keep things as they were. They loved each other and were a family already, this would never change. Maybe they really didn't need a wedding band for it and if this was what Erin wanted he would not push her into the direction of marriage of course but would accept her decision.

″I don't know. I honestly don't know,″ Jay shrugged. ″But what I know is that no matter what she decides for, it will not change anything for us and I will accept it. If she wants us not to marry because of it we'll not marry. For now,″ he added emphatically.

″You need to talk to her soon.″

″I know,″ Jay nodded.

″Listen: you promise me you'll talk to her and I promise I'll pull out all the stops to keep you in the same unit. Because as I said before, I'm not exactly eager to lose any of you, neither you nor Erin. With Erin not being around at the moment I think we all realize every day how much we need her and when you were at home with her after Emilia's birth we noticed the same applies for you. This unit needs you. Both. But although I maybe know people I can't promise that it'll work out and that's why Erin needs to know that there's the possibility of one of you leaving the unit, Jay.″

″I understand,″ Jay sighed. ″I'll talk to her...and, uhm...thank you for your efforts,″ he added and Hank only nodded in response.

″Jaaaay, look,″ Noah squeeked as they reached the playground in this moment.

″You wanna go to the slide first, buddy?″ he asked, picked him up and let him down to the ground. The joy in Noah's face infected him instantly and he was glad for any laughter he would get now.

″Yes, come on,″ he giggled, grabbed for Jay's hand and pulled him to the slide while Hank sat down on the bench, pushing the stroller back and forth, and watched the man, who maybe or maybe not was going to his son-in-law soon, goofing around with Noah.

″So this means...,″ Erin stumbled after Jay had finished telling his story, trying to sum up what she'd just heard. ″When we marry there's no guarantee that we'll both stay in Intelligence and they will most likely place us in different districts?″

″Exactly,″ Jay nodded sighing and lay his hand atop of hers. ″What do you think about it Erin?″

″I hate bureaucrazy and I hate people who follow it,″ she answered and chuckled slightly. ″Not sure whether I've ever heard something that entirely stupid in my life before to be honest.″

″Tell me about it,″ Jay agreed before his words turned into an insecure stammer as he now had to ask her whether this stupid rule would destroy their plans. ″But...does this...does this change anything for you?″

First she looked at him like he was out of his mind but the longer she stared into his insecure eyes, the more a soft smile formed on her lips while Jay was holding his breath tensed.

″No,″ she whispered and she could literally hear all the weight falling from Jay's chest by speaking out this simple word. ″Jay, I love you and when I answered with yes I meant it. I want to marry you and I want to be your wife. You and me, our little family, that's way more important than any job in this world,″ she smiled and her heart melted by the giant smile that spread across Jay's face by her words. He has obviously been more than just a little tense. ″What about you?″

″There's nothing in this world that would make me take my question back,″ he grinned, squeezing her hand and just as always his sparkling eyes showed all his love for her. He would lie if he said he hadn't feared her answer. Of course he'd hoped she would answer like this but he hadn't been sure. Not because he doubted her love or thought that she'd just answered with yes back then in Wisconsin to not hurt his feelings, but because Erin has always been someone who identified herself with her job, who lived for her job because it has been the one constant thing in her life. So her answer now was just another proof how much she's changed in the last couple of months. Because the worm has turned and her own little family was now what she lived for.

″Good for you,″ Erin said and her raspy chuckle interrupted his thoughts. ″Maybe I should give the Task Force another try, what do you think?″ she laughed.

″Because it was such a success last time?″ he teased her.

″Uh-huh,″ she grinned. ″I mean, I can't say that I regret it though,″ she added and raised her eyebrows playfully, of course referring to their first little firework of feelings after her horrible day at her new job.

″Oh no, it was a great decision,″ Jay smirked. ″But maybe this isn't something you should try again.″

″You could be right,″ she agreed. ″But there are lots of other options, like working for the Prosecution Attorney's Office for example. Sounds boring but maybe it isn't,″ she laughed.

″Maybe Hank will...find a solution. He said he knows someone...″

″Well, he usually does. Guess we just have to wait and see. At the moment I don't even know when I'll come back to work. I have other priorities now.″

″I know,″ Jay nodded, giving her a little smile. ″So, 29th of July will be the day? Or the 22nd?″

″One of them, depends on the available wedding locations,″ she shrugged. ″I don't prefer one date over the other, do you?″

″Nope, I'm like totally open to both of them,″ he grinned.

″Are you totally open to a small wedding, too?″ she asked and her voice came a little shy, almost as if she wasn't sure whether she really wanted to ask him this. ″Because I think I prefer a wedding surrounded by just our friends and family, maybe some of the people from 51 or Med we work with regularly but that's it. I don't want to invite the whole district or any neighbors or any other people that crossed my path once or that we meet once a year. I want it to be small. And intimate. With all the people who really mean something to us.″

″Sometimes I have the feeling you can read my mind,″ Jay murmured smilingly and gave her a little wink before the waiter served them their main course.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Their main course and the desert were, just like all the other small courses, without a doubt some of the most delicious dishes they've eaten so far. They joked around a little more, Erin constantly reminded Jay how crazy he was to spend so much money for just one evening and somewhen they also started talking about his father and his impending stay in a convalescent home. Jay's old man was doing fine but of course he was still weak and couldn't do much at this point and he had to regain his strength step by step, so he would leave for a facility in Michigan in a couple of days and would stay there for at least six weeks, getting further treatment while reducing the medication slowly and also getting lots of physical therapy and learning how to live again in general.

″Where are you going?″ Jay asked Erin when she got up from her chair and pulled her phone out of her small handbag.

″Uhm, just giving Hank a call,″ she answered.

″Did he send you a message?″ he frowned. He somehow hoped that their evening didn't come to a sudden end now. He enjoyed this precious time with just Erin way too much.

″No...I just want to know whether everything is alright.″

″Babe, no message means everything is perfect,″ Jay said quietly and also got up, kept her from leaving by standing directly in front of her.

″Am I paranoid?″ she sighed and placed her phone back on the table, stared at it as if she was waiting for it to start ringing.

″No, you're just a new mom who isn't used to leave her baby with someone else for so long,″ he smiled and brushed a strand out of her face, stroked her cheek with his thumb.

″As I said, paranoid.″

″Er, stop it,″ Jay whispered and came closer to her face, placed a kiss on her cheek. His hand found its spot on her lower back and he pulled her a little closer to his body, smelled the scents of her perfume and her shampoo, before his soft voice murmured into her ear: ″Dance with me tonight.″

This time she didn't say no. She looked him in the eyes and a grin formed on her lips. That was enough of an answer for him and he reached for her hand and pulled her to the dance floor. And then they danced in the dimmed light of the Signature Room. To all kind of corny love songs. To old ones and really old ones. To new ones and really new ones. To songs whose lyrics expressed what probably all of the couples around them felt this evening: pure, unconditional love. Exchanging kisses and tenderness all the time and making full advantage of their date night. While Erin's head rested on his chest, while she soaked in the scent of his cologne, while his hand covered her lower back, while they moved gently to the sound of ″The Power Of Love″, she realized that she really hadn't known how much she acutally needed this. Having him just for herself and being able to think about other things than diapers and nursing.

″Thank you for this,″ she whispered and lifted her head from his chest to look up to him. ″For this perfect evening.″

″Thank you for coming with me although you rather would've spent the evening on the couch wearing leggins,″ he chuckled.

″I have to admit, I really would've missed something tonight. This is a very special evening and I'm glad I was kinda plunged in at the deep end from you,″ she smiled, the cutest dimples forming on her cheeks.

″Uh-huh,″ he nodded. ″Happy Valentine's Day,″ he then smirked before their lips melted in another kiss.

The night ended with a special Valentine's Day firework at Navy Pier and from their current location high above the streets of Chicago they had the most perfect view for this colorful spectacle.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

After they've taken advantage of every second of their date night they returned home a couple of minutes after midnight and found Hank and Emilia dozing on the couch. They tried to be as silent as possible but of course Hank's hearing was trained enough that we would recognize every little noise and his eyes fluttered open by the sound of Erin putting her highheels, she'd already taken off in the staircase, down to the floor.

″How was your evening?″ Hank asked Erin as she joined him on the couch.

″Perfect,″ she smiled. ″Thanks for taking care of this little monster.″

″It was a pleasure and I'm always open for babysitting,″ he smirked.

″We will come back to this, no worries,″ Erin laughed and bit her lip before she shared the quite big news with him. News he might didn't expect. ″Because we're maybe going to take a couple of dancing lessons before the wedding that we don't make complete fools out of ourselves when it comes to the wedding waltz.″

The way Erin was looking at him, giving him a very meaningful glance, and the sound of her voice, hinting an emphatic undertone, were enough for Hank to know that Jay had talked to her and that she was aware of the possibilities now that one of them maybe had to leave Intelligence. On the one hand he was surprised by her decision to stick to the plan of marrying anyway, on the other hand this wasn't so surprising at all. Jay has changed her. She's become a different person thanks to him, a better person. A person who didn't struggle with her commitment issues anymore but was able to commit to her one, special person. A person who didn't put her job first anymore but her family. A person who was ready to tie the knot.

″Maybe not such a bad idea,″ he nodded, giving her the same glance back that showed her that he was aware and okay with her decision, maybe even appreciated it.

″Exactly our thought,″ she chuckled and turned her head to Jay who has just sat down on the armrest of the couch, smiling extremely bright.

″So how was your evening with the princess?″ Jay asked, placing his hand on Erin's neck and massaging it gently.

″She's an angel,″ Hank grinned and looked down to the sleeping baby in his arms. ″Right Emmy, you're my angel?″

″I have the feeling she's always an angel when she's with you guys and she's always grumpy when she's with me,″ Erin complained laughingly.

″I didn't say she wasn't grumpy though. Because she was. But even when she's crumpy she's my little angel,″ Hank smirked. ″And she fells better asleep to the sounds and noises of Terminator 3 playing on TV than to that stuffed musical box you have. Which shouldn't surprise me because she's your daughter,″ he chuckled raspily and looked to Erin and he earned a little punch on his shoulder from her in return.

″So you watched Terminator with our two-week-old?″ Erin asked and slightly shook her head.

″Yep. She was so excited about it that she completely passed out.″

″Amazing,″ she laughed. ″So would you mind bringing our little action-addicted girl to bed?″

″Not at all,″ Hank replied and got up from the couch to put his granddaughter to bed.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

It was around 1.15am at night, Erin has maybe slept for half an hour, when she woke up because Emilia started mewling in the most quiet way. But as always she heard it immediately and got up before Jay would wake up. He needed his sleep because he had to go to work in the morning while she could at least try to sleep throughout the day.

She picked her baby up and walked with her to her nursery, sat down in the rocking chair and settled her against her breast. She was sitting there in silence while she was nursing her daughter, stroked over her cheeks or her fuzzy brown her occasionally and just watched Emilia's features while she nursed and how she placed her tiny hand on her breast naturally, watched her swallowing the milk and how her faced got more and more satisfacted with every gulp she took.

″You know Emmy, you and me, we're maybe the two most blessed girls in this world. Because we have two extraordinary men in our lives,″ she whispered. ″Your grandpa is one of them. He's always there when we need him and I owe him so much. He's a perfect example for tough on the outside, soft on the inside. Especially when it comes to you. You have a way to melt people's heart, baby girl, especially his,″ she said and shifted her baby to her other breast after she'd unlatched herself from this one.

″And guess who's the other one?″ she asked while Emilia started to nurse again. ″Your daddy, Emmy. He's the one, you know? The one I fail in describing with words because everything he does for me leaves me speechless. Like tonight. For some people it would maybe just be a date night but it was so much more for me. I don't think many people would understand how special this evening was for me. Because there were times when I wasn't worth any efforts, when no one cared. But your daddy, he would divide oceans for me. And this is the best feeling in this whole world baby girl. When people you love do anything for you to make you happy, to make you feel special. Sometimes it's the little things that bring us to the peak of our happiness...″ she added pensively, feeling exactly this amout of overwhelming happiness filling every inch of her body. But as happy as she was in this very moment, she knew too well that no one was allowed to live in their happy-bubble forever. At some point it would pop. This was reality, this was life, this was her life in fact. She was the last person who would be allowed to live a happy ever after because when has she ever been allowed to be constantly happy over a longer period of time? To enjoy her life without something bad happening? She didn't trust this whole thing. Fate had a way to play with her like a bouncy ball. Up and down and down and up. After every peak there was a fall and she's been at this point too often. As often as that she knew that sometimes it also were the little things that brought people to their darkest place, that shattered them into a million pieces and let them call everything into question...

Thanks you for reading, I hope you liked it! And thanks for your reviews and nice words on my last chapter, if you have time, please leave me one again and tell me what you think about the chapter, about CPD, whatever you like! ;)