DOUBTING MYSELF

I had to stop on my way home, i felt as if the air was being chocked out of me the entire time. I had to take a breather so i went to the lake side, i knew no one would dare follow me there even though there are some memories i would not like to revive over there. That was the only place where i knew that i could find the peach i was looking for. when i got there the first thing i did was call Laura, i was not sure if she would pick my calls since i did not see her while i leaving, the good thing is that she picked and her first question was "where are you i have been looking for you everywhere?" "its okay i am fine, i just called to say that, you need to make sure that no media outlet will be publishing anything about me or the sandal that has just happened and any one wo does will have to face legal action." "Okay madam, Mr. Leo has been asking about you should i tell him where you are?" it would make matters worse if he knew where i was and besides i was going to go back home very soon so i did not see the need to cause more tension than there is already. "No don't, i will be fine and i will also be heading home soon so don't worry i will just call him myself."

I took of my cloths and got into the water, the water was really cold but that's what i needed to get myself together, i needed to remind myself of who i am, of late i have not been acting myself really so all i needed is to feel alive once more. Of late each decision that i kept making i always ended up Doubting myself, all this began on the day when we got married, ho was i changing?. i laid on the water o my back watching the stars wondering if the have feeling, I remembered what my grandma once told me "My dear, i want you to remember this when go" "Where are you going grandma?" i asked with much curiosity. i never really had a family that familied apart from my grandma, so i considered her as my world "My child, you see people don't stay in this world for ever you see and one day we leave so that we can be together with the stars" "Oh so what you mean grandma is that someday you will be the and i to will be the star?" "Yes my child so, if you ever miss me or you need someone to talk to you see that constellation over there, i will one day join them so my dear you can always look up and i will be there" That was the last time i spent time with her before my mother took me with her

"Grandma if you can hear me, please take me with you i am just so very much tired and i just want to join you up there". Since it was getting late i decided to just head back home. When i got home that evening i noticed that the lights from him room were still on, I did not think that he would have come back home tonight after the entire drama had happened but i knew that if he finds me here out the story would be endless so i decided to quicken my pace to my room. I woke up really early that morning all so that i wont have to meet with him, by the time i got to the stairs he was waiting for me on the other end with his arms crossed. "We need to talk? he said. I pretended I did not just hear what he said and walked passed him when my hand was held back from behind with a strong grip, before i could react to this action, he was already moving, i had to quicken my pace to make sure i don't fall down "Leg me go Leo, just let me go okay" but it seemed as if my plea fell among dead ears.

LEO'S POV

By the time I got home last night she was no where to be found, i had an idea of where she might have gone but, even though I wanted to go there i knew that she needed time on her own so i had to give here that. it took a while before she came back , my lights were turned on, my thought's were that she might want to clear up what happened today but she did not. When morning came i knew she might leave before we talk so i had to make sure I was going to clear this before she get's the chance to leave. And just like what i thought she got up early but this time luck was not on her side. he attempt to walk past me were a failure to, even though she did manage to put up a fight.

I grabbed her hand and went straight to the car and after making sure she wont be able to get out i drove the car off. She said nothing and neither did I, it took us about an hour before we got to our destination. I stopped the car and got out. she took a few minutes before deciding to get out of the car. "You know, I have always tried to make things work between us every time but with each time you remind me of how impossible how that is, so tell me what can I do now?" after saying that I turned and looked at her straight in her eyes> I was not sure what answer to expect from her but I knew what ever it was going to be will determine our next chapter. "You are the best thing that has happen to me in a very long time and I am trying not to mess this one up but I keep messing it up" I can see how hard she is trying, but its just not enough I need more than that, I need to know if she is willing to fight for me. "Leo, I don't know how to feel my heart has grown numb, and I cant tell you to wait for me, I am not sure when the ice will brake, but if you ever find someone else, I won't hold you back"