(4) The Hidden Alcove

"Let me use a bow. I know well enough how to shoot one."

I watched as Banue took the bowel in her hands and sprinkle some pale powder over top the water before mixing it with a wooden tool. She murmured in old tongue before responding bluntly, "You do not practice, girl. You expect to learn only by watching it done from another."

"But I learn quickly! You know this to be true!"

"And what of your health? You have not yet healed wholly from yesterday's incident."

Incident? I brought back something, hadn't I? "I'm not ill Banue. I can handle another hunt."

"Baylea." The wooden tool is placed back on the stone floor along with the bowel as she looked back up at me.

"I am not going to lay around and wait for things to get better. They need more food. You need more food-you are far too thin to be thinking clearly!"

"That is enough!" Her voice rumbled the very bones beneath my skin. I sank low but never tore my eyes away from the anger sharpening her gaze. Dark eyes the color of raw soot hardened the longer I stared back.

"Without the protection of the Guardian, we are not safe to leave the grove, and by leaving you will endanger us all. Is that clear enough reason for you?"

I remained silent in my frozen posture. Banue seethed, "Answer me, girl! Do you not care for the girls in this grove? Do you not care for their safety?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then you will put this foolishness to rest and wait until it is safe."

I wanted to argue against her, to tell her how wrong she was, but forcefully I held my tongue. There was no point in upholding my point any longer. I needed to protect my sisters in the only way I knew how. And It would only make her anger grow if I continued on this path. I do not need to be yelled at more like some unreasonable child.

In a deep strained breath, Banue picked up the bowel again and handed it to me saying, "Bring this to the girls in the lower den. Gillian will know what to do with it-and don't go spilling it on your way down, girl."

Without speaking I take the bowel and leave the hollow. Banue didn't say another word nor did she care to follow. If I was going to do this I would be doing this alone. I would need to move quickly while the morning was still long. Then I would have many hours before worrying about the tide. First things first, bring Gillian the bowel.

Whatever Estrella put in that waterskin must have been working because the aches went away. I still felt weak but not like before. I made it to the lower den without much hassle and found most of the girls there still asleep. A few were sitting up, huddled together in small groups, and speaking softly to one another. All of them had dark circles around their eyes that made them look sunken. Most of the younger girls like me had light-colored eyes, and if their eyes looked as sickly as the dead, I can only imagine how mine must look.

An awful feeling churned in the bottom of my stomach as I passed them to search for Gillian. And just like every awful feeling, I swallowed it down with force. There was no sense in letting my emotions get the better of me. Especially not now.

I spotted Gillian in the small group that stood near a table in the back corner. Carefully making my way to them, I was greeted by an enticing smell that sent my mouth to water. Whatever the strange smell was I couldn't place it, but the wave of it soon evaporated leaving me craving more.

Gillian was preparing greens in a larger wooden bowl at the table, adding smashed herbs and water plants that created a bitter smell to the air. I smelled it again, just a whiff of it as a girl moved out from behind a wall of thick hide. The mouth-watering scent must be coming from behind that inside the hut. Somewhere inside they were making something promising. It has been far too long since any of us had a decent meal.

Placing the bowel Banue had so kindly given me down in front of her, Gillian's dark eyes finally looked at me. A tired smile reached her lips as she collected the bowel.

"Thank you Baylea," She whispered and poured the bowel's contents inside the bigger bowel she was mixing. She sounded worn like she hadn't slept well, or perhaps she was getting sick. "It'll be a little while longer but soon the stew will be ready."

"It smells bitter," I said softly and sat down. The old chair creaked softly underneath me but I knew it wouldn't break. I doubt any of us had the weight to do so even if we were in better health.

"Ah, well, the greens from our grove grow thinner with each passing season. But the meat you've brought home will help cover the bitter taste so the herbs can do their work."

I licked my lips slowly, "And how long would this stew feed us?"

Gillian hesitated before abandoning her mixing tool. When her eyes met mine again, I saw the worry in them as strong as my own. "Banue says the meat and blood will sustain us for five more days and by then it'll be up to Bramble to bring home more meat."

"But you've seen her leg. It hasn't healed right. Why hasn't Banue been able to heal her fully?"

"Starvation had taken much from us Baylea. It will take time for everyone to recover, but to be fed after this long without food... We must eat little and regain what has been lost with time. The Guardian's blood should help with that."

"So I keep being told," I muttered. Gillian didn't say anything and instead returned to her mixing bowl. I watch silently for a while as she and the other girls shift in and out of the thick hide separating the hut from the rest of the den. Eventually, Gillian takes her large bowel and disappears behind the hide too. I waited a little longer hoping to have a little of what they were cooking. I felt guilty even thinking about it because I know other girls need that stew more than I do. And I still had some of Estrella's tea left over to dull down the ache. I would be fine so long as I returned with plenty. With that thought in mind, I stood intending to leave the den. Gillian's voice stopped me.

"Baylea."

She was already back at the table with a steaming bowl of what I assumed to be stew in her hands when I turned. That enticing smell returned but all I felt was guilt for even enjoying its savoring scent. Still, I took the bowel without question because that was respectful, and I also didn't want to worry her either.

"Thank you, Gillian."

She offered me a weak smile before disappearing back behind the hide. Without thinking about it, I made my way over to one of the girls sitting up and offered up my stew to her. Her name was Yály and she was more skin and bone than I was. Gently I rested the bowel in both her hands while holding my own beneath to help her drink. Once she was satisfied she gave me a weak nod and I placed the bowel beside her on the floor. Yály was too weak to smile and that hurt to think about. Laying her back down to rest, I collected what remained of the bowel and placed it back on the table. I left the den not feeling at all relieved, but at least I could help feed one of us. Now I just needed to bring home more to eat and we'll all hopefully recover before the cold season settles.

There were two things I needed before I would leave the grove again. A weapon and another basket. Luckily I knew someone who could help me with both. I hoped so at least.

I didn't have to travel far to find her. Songbird was perched on the lower branches engulfed by the leafy vines nearest to the maw of the cavern. As I gradually made my way down to her, Song's voice nearly startled me into a stumble. My grip on the vines was the only thing keeping me from falling face-first into the drenched ground. I swore I heard her snicker.

"You should be resting instead of climbing down here."

"Do you really see me staying asleep most of my life?"

She snorted, "I didn't realize the passing of the night had been your whole life spent already."

"I was asleep all night?"

"I'm surprised you're even awake right now."

"Well," I paused, grabbing hold of yet another vine to help keep me steady as I sat down on the branch beside her, "I guess I must be fully rested then. Care to help me with something while I'm still wide awake?"

Songbird's eyes found mine in a heartbeat but they were anything but playful, "You're joking if you think you're well enough to go back out there."

"Wow. Is it written clearly on my face or can you just read minds?"

"Neither. I just know you too well." Her smile falters just as quickly as it was shown. She wasn't usually this uneasy. I hated it. "Are you serious though, about hunting again?"

I felt the corner of my upper lip twitch as I considered her words with how she was acting. "Do you doubt me capable?"

"Not at all. It's just..."

"They'll need it now rather than later, and you know this to be true."

"I know." She sighed and looked back out across the grove where sunlight bled vastly. "It's just... what happens if you don't come back?"

I stared at her and the knot in my gut twisted unbearably. Of course, she would think that, but to actually hear it said aloud brought forth emotions I couldn't let drown me. I took her hand in mine to comfort her. She doesn't look at me. "I will come back, Song. I learned a lot out there and now I know where to go to get fresh fish. And maybe a waterlope if any still reside here. I'll be more careful." Still, her gaze never met mine. I leaned closer and squeezed her hand while adding, "You know me. I'm a quick learner."

I saw the fight in her, especially in her words when they fell from her lips, "Not to mention stubbornly determined, and a bit reckless."

"You had me at stubbornly determined," I grinned, leaning even closer until my nose nudged her cheek. She gave me a crossways glance through narrowed eyes. It didn't last long because soon she was grinning too. The fight was still stirring somewhere beneath her gaze but we didn't need to worry about that or anything. We could enjoy the present.

Pushing me back she mumbled, "Don't be foolish out there then."

"I won't. I'll be smarter than before." I had to be.

"Promise me you'll make it home safe."

"I promise you I will come home without a single scratch. Clear mind and all."

Songbird eventually sighed again and stood, "Come here. I want to show you something."

Her hand was still holding mine when I joined her, and I followed her other hand to the opposite end of our grove where she was pointing to a grounded hangman tree that had fallen many seasons ago. Lush leafy vines now covered most of its twisted limbs from another tree above. I didn't understand what she wanted me to look at. Everything looked the same.

"The dead tree? What about it?"

She giggled in such a sweet-sounding way that I flushed, feeling slightly embarrassed. "You can't see it from here, but it is around the dead tree. Can you make it there with me? It's sort of a surprise."

"If you insist," I grinned. Anything to brighten her mood and perhaps mine.

Her hand slipped from mine just when I watched her leap into the vines full of laughter. "I'll race you!"

"Hey! That's not a fair race!" I snatched hold of one of the vines and started climbing down. She was already at the bottom of the grove as I struggled not to fall. I could already feel my muscles aching from a lingering weakness that I hoped would go away soon.

"If you want to leave again to hunt, climbing down shouldn't be an issue for you!"

I wanted to respond, but I had to focus on what I was trying to accomplish without looking like a fool. As I drew closer to the ground I made a hasty decision I'm sure Banue would frown upon. My feet touched the damp earth like a falling stone after leaping from the vines. Ok, it was a foolish act brought on by my own stubborn nature, but I didn't stumble or break anything so I'm thankful for that. Songbird even waited for me to make sure I was alright. I took her concern to my advantage and started running, a wide grin planted proudly on my face as I surpassed her.

"Hey! That's cheating!" I heard her yell from behind me.

"It's not cheating when your rival feels concerned for you!" I shouted back.

"Oh shut up!" she laughed. We raced across the grove and over the shallow stream, letting the water splash us in our footfall. Songbird of course made it to the dead tree first while I stumbled into the mud laughing, although it felt a lot like I was dying. The air wasn't as cold as last night but it was still chilly. I felt shaky and weak, but I couldn't let that show. Song came back like she always did and helped me stand.

"What a shame! And you were doing so well," She grinned and I couldn't help myself but smear mud across her chest. She leaped away in an outcry that sent me into a fit of laughter. I fell back down continuing to laugh.

"And now you're all muddy too!"

"Last time I try and help you," she mumbled. I caught her still grinning while looking at her upside down. That smile stayed as I went to stand. My body ached and trembled a bit from the whole endeavor, but I fought against it so I wouldn't worry her. She didn't notice thankfully, or maybe she was being too kind and hoped I'll recover just as quickly as I hoped to.

"Come on, it's in here."

Attempting to rub off the mud and also failing, I followed her under and over the dead tree's branches only to hold my breath when she disappeared between a crack in the rock face. I stood frozen for a heartbeat, blinking twice even. A moment later Song popped her head out with her brow raised.

"Are you going to stand there all day?"

"No! I just... didn't expect you to lead me into another rock hollow." Especially one I've never seen before, and if it were a private space...I felt all the heat creeping over my face.

To that, she smiled as she used to when she was up to no good. It made my heart skip a beat. Curiously I started for the opening, "This isn't another rock hollow?"

I felt her fingers wrap around my wrist as she urged me to hurry along, "Just get in here already."

"Alright, alright..." I followed Songbird up the flat stones that held strong and seemed to curve upward. There was a shift in the air that blew the tangles of my hair from my face. It was coming from further up and smelled like the woods outside. I inhaled deeply, my heart pounded a thrilling beat in my chest as we grew closer to daylight. Sharp rays of light cut through rich greens that I realized were ferns and thickly leafed plants growing on the wall. Song lead me through an archway with more greenery covering every surface of rock, from thick damp smelling moss to stiff winding vines with large leaves and little white flowers. Green smothered everything and the sunlight brightened its stunning healthy color. It was cold and they shouldn't even be flourishing right now. But what really captured my attention where the song of birds chirping close by. Song pulled me into a lush alcove with an opening to the outside somewhere higher over the grove.

Woven baskets held birds that hung from the roots above. It wasn't a large space, but it didn't have to be. I was speechless. I hadn't even realized right away that Song had let go of my hand until she was standing near the edge of the drop. The wind ruffled her hair that expressed a hue of dying leaves, the color enriched by the light of the morning sun. Her freckles were darker, more noticeable against her cream-colored skin. She was beautiful in all the ways I adored her for.

Song held her arms behind her back, likely playing with her fingers as she did whenever she was nervous, "Well, what do you think?"

I knew she was talking about her hidden alcove, but a deeper part of me wanted to tell her something more. Instead, I spoke wisely, "It's magical. How long have you been hiding out in here?"

"Since I could climb the hangman vines."

I stared at her.

"What?"

"You're telling me that this entire time since we were practically six, you've been coming to this place without telling me?" It wasn't that I was mad about it. It was more of a shock to realize that sweet little Songbird had kept this place hidden for that long when she rarely could tell a lie to Banue and get away with it. If I never knew about this place, then it's unlikely any of the others did either.

"I wanted to, I mean, you were so close to Banue back then. I was afraid you would tell her."

"And who was the better liar here?"

A slow grin eased its way onto her face, "You were."

"Apparently not." I crossed my arms, shaking my head. "I wouldn't have told a soul about this place."

"Are you upset?" That same nervous look was back making my heart ache.

"With you? Never." I forced a little frown, looking away shyly. "But it would have been fun to learn of this place sooner. I would have enjoyed sneaking away with you."

Songbird rushed to me only to grab both of my hands in hers, and said, "You're invited to join me anytime. So long as you are sneaky about it."

I squeezed her hands gently, not bothering to behave myself as I matched her smile. "I guess we'll both have to be good liars then."

"I guess so." That smile, it was one full of mischief and reminded me of our younger selves. It was a time when things weren't so drastic and we would have all sorts of little adventures together. Adventures in the grove at least, but no one was starving then. My thoughts turned grim after that, and Song must have noticed my shift in mood because she dropped our entangled hands. The feel of her touch now absent from mine threatened a real frown to shape my lips. Quickly as that feeling came, Song rushed back with a small brown bird with a reddish-tipped head snuggled in her delicate palms. The joy she expressed warmed my heart as she closed the distance between us, showing me her little caught creature.

"Look! This is one of my favorites! I call them blushling hymns."

I raised a brow with a little smirk, "Blushling hymns?"

"Ok, I haven't really given them a decent name for their kind. But look at her! She is so pretty and sings so lovely. I thought it fitting at the time."

"No, it's perfect for a name. I'm sure she thinks so too."

"Would you like to touch her?"

"I can?"

She nodded. Gently I reached out a finger to stroke the bird's head. It bobbed its clear dislike at my attempt to pet it, it's head constantly moving away from my finger. Songbird only smiled and said, "She can be shy at times. This is her first other interaction with another that isn't me."

"How long have you been catching birds?"

She shrugs, "Not long actually. Maybe two weeks? I haven't really been counting the days."

I try another attempt to pet the bird, but it gives me the same reaction. "What do you do with them?"

"I keep them for only a short while. I like to watch them move and sing and sometimes they leave feathers for me to collect! They're really interesting up close you know."

"Hmm."