OPSM Arc - Part 6

With tears in my eyes and barking canine laughter in my ears, I full on sprint away from the territory. I guess since I didn't really fight it doesn't count as a defeat, as the alpha didn't stop me. I have no doubt he could have, after all.

Soon shame falls away and is replaced with pure, blind rage. I shout every not quite explitive that I know, which in fairness, isn't all that many. How could he do that? And how could I just run away? Aren't I willing to give everything for my mission? Darn it, why couldn't he have just insisted on killing me?

No, no, that wouldn't help either. I need to save my master. I can't afford to die here. I'm lucky that he didn't kill me, and instead he just wanted... just wanted. I shudder, and can't stop shivering until my body aches. I should have stood and fought!

No, that's not true. The difference in strength is still too great. Far too great. I need to get stronger! I need to find and kill more powerful monsters! I need to... I need to...

I slow to a trot as I finally reach the outskirts of the village, looking in at the people wandering about, many of which are visibly in need.

What am I doing? Since when have I been obsessed with killing and obtaining power? When did that become the only thing that matters?

"You need more power to protect your owner. That's the important thing." I think to myself.

No, no it's not, of course. Yeah, he might need help, but there are others who need help, too. Other people who I ignored because I was so obsessed with strength and experience levels.

"You only wanted that power to help your master." my inner voice replies.

No, that's not true either, is it? I wanted revenge. I wanted to win. I wanted to defeat my enemy, not for the sake of anyone else, but purely for myself. I sigh and flop down in the grass. I'm just the worst.

No. Well, yes, maybe, but that hardly matters. If I have time to lie here feeling guilty, I should spend that time making things right. I can feel bad later. For now, there is an entire village of people here who need my help!

"And what about the wolves? What about your journey?"

I'll figure something out. Who knows? Maybe I'll get a quest reward which will help! No, no, that's the sort of selfish thinking that got me into this mess. For now, what I want doesn't matter. There are people in need here, and helping them is what matters. Even if doing so brings me no closer to solving my dilemma, charity is its own reward, and after spending a downright disgusting amount of time focused on violence and gaining strength, I could really use the karmic cleanse which comes from doing good deeds for their own sake.