17: Forgiveness

"I'm so nervous," states Laura as Pharaoh parks his car in Xan and Eli's driveway.

"It's going to be fine," assures Pharaoh with a warm loving smile. "I've spoken with both of them and Eli especially was excited to have us come… Xan is a little more cautious. This is family, his wife and children, so he's protective of them. But it's going to be fine, Laura." He gives her a reassuring kiss and steps out of the car.

Pharaoh walks around to the passenger side and opens the door for Laura. He takes her hand as she gets out of the car. He shuts the car door and they hold hands as they walk to the front door. They can hear music playing as Pharaoh rings the doorbell.

"I'll get it!" Xan calls to everyone else. "Coming!" he calls to the front door as he heads for it.

Xan opens the front door. "Laura," he greets with a firm nod. "And you must be Pharaoh," Xan smiles as he shakes his hand.

"It's good to meet you Xan," returns Pharaoh warmly.

"Where are your bags," asks Xan.

"Still in the car," answers Pharaoh.

"We'll grab them in a minute," Xan tells Pharaoh. "Come on in. You're just in time. Eli got her master's and we're celebrating."

"So she finally finished her research and got her master's thesis written," says Laura as she and Pharaoh step inside.

Xan nods yes, "Just follow me. We're all out back."

Laura and Pharaoh follow Xan out to the back yard. Laura freezes in her steps for a moment at the site of the busy bustling backyard. There are plenty of people she knows, Dan and most of his immediate family. But there are plenty of people she doesn't know and she guesses most of them are Xan's relatives. She needs the reassuring squeeze Pharaoh's hand gives her hand. Part of her wants to turn and run when she sees Luann and Tin, and Tin's parents. Plus her own mother is here as well as her brother and his family.

"Mom," Eli calls excitedly when she spots Laura.

Laura can hardly believe Eli is smiling as she rushes to her.

Laura's eyes well over with tears as she hugs Eli tightly. "Baby…" she calls Eli with a soft sob. "I hope you can forgive me… I never meant to hurt you… You were the last person I ever wanted to hurt… I'm so sorry. I really convinced myself for the longest time that I was doing what was best." She kisses Eli's face repeatedly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Eli returns her kisses, "It's alright Mom. It's alright… You were in pain. You were suffering. And people aren't themselves when they're suffering in pain."

Laura looks Eli in her warm brown eyes as she gently touches her face, "Eli, you're a miracle. I love you very much and I'm very proud of you… It's a miracle you turned out so beautifully despite what a horrible mother I was."

"You weren't horrible," Eli informs her, "just distant, tough and hard to please. Which means you're going to be a push over as a grandmother. Now, even though I'm sure who this is with you, would you please introduce us?"

Laura nods and smiles happily, "This is Pharaoh, Pharaoh Roget. He's an optometrist. Pharaoh, this is my daughter, Eleanor, Eleanor Champus. We call her Eli because she was good at getting dirty like a little boy. And she just got her master's in anthropology."

Pharaoh shakes Eli's hand, "I'm very happy to meet you, Eli."

Eli smiles up at him warmly, "And I'm very happy to meet you too Pharaoh. Whatever you're doing to make my mother happy and so comfortable in her own skin, just keep doing it… I've never seen her with her hair this long. It looks wonderful."

"I like it longer," shares Pharaoh.

"Me too," agrees Eli. "Now I have two people I want you both to meet." Eli leads them both by the hand to where a blanket is laying in the shade with at least a dozen baby toys on it.

Xan sits on the blanket by their now ten month old twins. Eli releases their hands and joins Xan on the blanket with their twins.

Eli shares with Laura and Pharaoh, "The doctor said it's rare for identical twins to divide in this manner where one has black hair and brown eyes and the other is blond with blue eyes. One thing is certain, my Xan is no longer the only blond chimp anymore."

"As long as I have you, I don't care if my hair is blond, black, brown or green," then Xan kisses Eli lovingly.

"Eli, they're beautiful," says Laura as she sits on a corner of the blanket. "I'm sorry I tried to shove so many jackasses down your throat that just weren't right for you."

"Mom, stop apologizing," Eli tells Laura.

The black haired twin stands up and toddles over to Eli, who hugs him, kisses him and asks, "What have you got there??? Oh, look at that, such a pretty blue ball… Look Daddy, our Xanny has a pretty blue ball."

"Well, look at that pretty blue ball you have there son," Xan tells his name sake.

Then their blond twin stands and toddles over to them. "Ball," he says as he shows them the ball he has.

"That's right Danny," Xan tells him. "You have a ball too. And your ball is red."

"Red," repeats Xanny.

"Oh Eli, they're smart like you," gushes Laura. "Six months after Dan and I brought you home, you started walking and talking, which made you nine months old. You just absorbed and learned information like a sponge."

"Well, they certainly are curious about everything," shares Eli. "Xanthus Jr. with the black hair was born first. We call him Xanny. And our blond here was born second. His name is Daniel and we call him Danny."

"They are absolutely beautiful," compliments Pharaoh. "And blond chimps, never met one before today, and today I meet two."

"So how does it feel to be a grandmother," Luann asks Laura. "I think it feels wonderful myself."

"Oh Luann," Laura getting to her feet and taking her younger sister's hands. "I know you'll probably never forgive me, but I want you to know how sorry I am. I am truly sorry for all the wrong I did to you, Tin and Eleanor. I was blinded by my own pain and bought into my own lies."

Luann hugs Laura, "In time Laura, we all heal if we're willing to. Besides, you're my sister and I love you. It wouldn't do us any good for me to stay angry at you. And we have a fine daughter. Listen to her for a moment because she helped us see things much more clearly."

"Mom," Eli leads Laura to some chairs and sits down. "Pharaoh, please, sit with us," invites Eli.

Pharaoh sits on the other side of Laura, puts his arm around her and listens.

"At first, I was very angry with you," Eli admits to Laura, "and so was everyone else. I couldn't get that tracking chip out of my butt fast enough. Papa called a friend of his and I got it removed while I was visiting in New Jersey for the first time."

"I still can't believe you put a tracking chip in her butt cheek," Pharaoh teases Laura.

"I lost her in the Barstow Revolt," reminds Laura. "She was missing for three days. I was terrified of losing her again."

Pharaoh tips Laura's chin up and gives her a quick kiss, "Relax and listen to your daughter."

Laura focuses back on Eli, who is smiling brightly at her and Pharaoh.

Eli continues, "Like I said, I was very angry. Xan got to hear some serious grumbling from me for a while. And you know I'm not a grumbler. That's just how upset I was that I actually did some grumbling. Then a little over two years later we learned we were pregnant and I was too happy to grumble. Then we have our ultrasound and we see our babies for the first time. And as I was laying there holding Xan's hand staring at our babies on the screen, I had a moment of clarity. I realized you were in pain and suffering. And because of that, you did some things you wouldn't normally do. And I stopped being angry because during that moment of clarity I saw the bigger picture. You brought me into Daddy's life and he loves me with every fiber of his being. And he had hopes, dreams and fears for me just like you, Mama and Papa. He knew if anyone decided to do a little digging into my background they would learn I was adopted. And with a little more digging, they would discover who my biological parents were and that I'm half advanced chimp…I don't know how many times I heard you ask Daddy, 'Why are you so concerned with their rights?' But it wasn't their rights so much as it was my rights. Just like you were terrified of losing me again and not being able to find me, Dad was terrified someone that didn't need to know discovered I'm half chimp and would either try to enslave me, deny me my rights or discriminate against me in some fashion. The laws still aren't balanced. If a male advanced primate raped a human woman, he can be put to death. While when a human male rapes an advanced primate woman, he gets a night in jail and a twenty-five dollar fine. You didn't think about what if I married a human guy and afterward his family learned I'm only half human, which would have happened when I popped out that first baby. But Dad did think about it. Under the old laws, I could have been arrested even though I wasn't aware I'm half chimp. The new laws didn't just allow for me and Xan to get married, but Mama and Papa were finally able to get legally married. ZZ and Roger over there were finally able to get married. A lot of people have waited a long time to finally get married. You and Pharaoh will be able to get married if that's what you choose."

Laura looks at Pharaoh lovingly and gives his hands a loving squeeze. She wants that. She wants to marry Pharaoh.

"Like I said, I had a moment of clarity," shares Eli. "And I've shared my moment of clarity with everyone in a family meeting. Yeah, there are still some tender sore places here and there. But you don't have to keep apologizing, because no matter how selfish or wrong some of your choices have been, in the larger scope of things, the positive effects have spread around the world. All advanced primates are now free. And now they can marry whomever they're in love with. And most importantly to me, if you hadn't taken me from Mama and Papa, I may never have met Xanthus, and my two beautiful baby boys may never have been… It doesn't make what you did right. But for me, it makes it more than forgivable."