Nicklos Inspiration (Past)
"Here you are. I have been looking everywhere for you. Why aren't you sleeping in the barracks?" Nicklos's voice stirred me from my deep thoughts, causing me to flinch under his tone. That tone that radiated with quiet anger. I have been avoiding him and everyone else since Uriah's beatings. The pain that he inflicted still coursing through my muscles like a silent reminder. A reminder that I would never been seen as equal.
Rocks bounced off the cliff edge and skittered towards the ground as Nicklos came to sit next to me. I refused to look at him, knowing that once I make eye contact with him, I would become a bubbling mess. Fatigue mixed with self pity clouded my thoughts. I didn't want him to see this weak side of me. I was suppose to be a Knight. Not a coward. He bumped my shoulder gently, trying to nudge an answer from me. Thankfully I was so tired that I couldn't really form an answer even if I wanted too.
"You have been avoiding me lately. This wouldn't have to do with Uriah and the others does it?" The bitterness in his tone, reflected the same biterness in my heart. I pulled my legs to my chest, saying nothing and staring hard at the mountain. I was hoping that if I stayed quiet long enough, he would just walk away and leave me alone.
"I see. So you are avoiding me because three low ranked Knights in training, pinned you and beat you. You must feel embaressed. Is that what this is about?" I sighed and buried my head in my knees, wishing he would just stop talking. But instead, he wrapped an arm carefully around my shoulder, and pulled me against him. I felt my body stiffen in response, a reaction instilled in my memories from the pain I was inflicted.
"Fine, don't talk, but at least listen to me. You are going to have a lot of battles as a Knight. Once you step out of here and on to the field, it's going to be a lot worse. More like hell than this place will ever be. Don't let a few idiots destroy your confidence before you've had a chance to show your capability. But, don't let them off the hook either. If you hate conflict so much, then better yourself in the arena. Show them something to be scared of. If you don't want to be a coward, then be someone you want to be." I felt his hand run down the back of my head, a soothing gesture.
Even though I felt like wallowing in self pity, I knew he was right. Wearing myself thin like this wasn't going to prove anything. Hiding in the shadows wasn't going to help improve the situation either. I couldn't be a helpless Princess waiting for her Knight, because I was a Knight. I needed to be my own hero if I was going to make it through this training in one piece. I pulled my head out from my knees, and gently laid it against his shoulder. We sat quietly together, waiting for the sun to rise, like we did every morning.
I was lucky to have someone like Nicklos as a friend. Nothing but endless support from him. I remember the first day I met him, he was extremely cold and distant. He never got along with the other Knights. But when I met him, he seemed to soften. Despite being the high appraised Prince from the Northern Kingdom, he came to hang out with world's number gossip topic. The odds seemed against me, and he still put his reputation aside to care for me.
I thought maybe at first it was because our Kingdom's where allies and maybe he felt like if he made a good impression, his dad would be pleased. But with his attitude, I highly doubt he aimed to people please. He was too proud for something like that. So how does someone with so much pride, hang out with someone like me?
"Nicklos, you promise you won't ever abandon me right? When this training is over, you will still be friends with me?" I whispered. My voice cracked, tired and worn out from crying and sleepless nights. His hand rested upon my head, frozen in place. He was quiet, too quiet. I pulled my head away from his shoulder, and his golden eyes seemed to glimmer. His body didn't tense up like it did when he was mad, but it was something similar to anger.
"What kind of question is that? Did you hit your head wondering around the barracks? I don't make friends very easily, and I have been by your side since day one. Of course, we will remain friends. The rest of the idiots here are nothing more than air heads. They flail their swords around like untrained babies." He muttered under his breath. I couldn't help let a giggle escape as he rambled about the poor swordsman ship the other Knights in training possessed.
Seeing that I was in a better mood, he smiled too. Soon enough he was chuckling along as well. With the sun now coming over the horizon, slowly turning the sky into shades of light pinks and oranges, we quieted down. The rising hope of the new day. The mountain towering over us slowly went from a dark shadow, to being lush and green. The birds started to chitter as they grazed the ground looking for worms. Small critters slowly stirred, getting ready to scavenge for the day.
It was always refreshing to see the world slowly rise from sleep and get to work. If these critters can rise and face the troubles of the day, then so could I. With Nicklos as my support, I could accomplish my dreams. I couldn't let my mother down either. I knew that if she saw me now, she would be disappointed. I was stronger than this, and I wouldn't let them get to me any longer. For my mother, for Nicklos, for my people, and for myself. I had to be the best version of me I could be.
"Come on Alliah, training is about to start, and I know a few people who need a good wake up call." Nicklos said with a winking and rose from the ground. He offered his hand out to me, and I accepted it gratefully. He smiled down at me, and we walked confidently back into the barracks. I was going to make everyone see how strong I really was.