Father's Room
"Alliah? What brings you here?" Father's eyebrows cinched together as I walked through his door. Even in front oh him I felt nervous. I had to hold my hands together so that my hands wouldn't quake. This was out of character for me as a Knight. But in the end, I guess if you where to give your status up prematurely, I guess any Knight would feel forlorned.
"I came to talk about my marriage father." I simply said. He steepled his hands infront of him, his eyebrows raising that of surprise. Then he sort of chuckled to himself and waved at me to go on. I watched him lean back in his chair, like he was waiting for some sort of fight to ensue. I gripped my hands together, trying to slow my fast beating heart in my chest. It felt like it was going to errupt at any given moment.
"I have decided that I want to Marry Nicklos of the Northern region. He seems like a suitable partner and he can handle himself well on the battlefield. I have trained with him after all. I know he can be reliable as well." Father sat quietly, pondering my words. He was emotionless, like a statue. His features where so worn, and he looked so tired, he could have honestly passed as one. His head kind of nodded, like he was still lost in thought.
"Tell me, before you decide to marry this man, do you know why he stopped talking to you?" His voice was low, an absent feeling to his words. But what worried me worse was that he knew about our letters, and he also knew about what happened to Nicklos. I slowly shook my head, because in all honesty I didn't. He wouldn't tell me, and I didn't want to pry. There was something behind his eyes that told me, what he faced, was tragic. He stroked his beard thoughtfully, contemplating his next actions. But with a sigh, and small smile, he seemed finally satisfied with my decision.
"Very well, I will grant you this marriage. You can step down as head Knight after the ball. Until then continue your duties and make sure the people stay safe. I give you full permision to do as you need." With that, he dismissed me. But I couldn't leave, something about his actions seemed fishy to me. He would never just give me what I want without hearing it out first, so why was he being lenient now? Did he find out what I had planned to do?
"Why are you being lenient about this? Aren't you going to pull me out of the field?" I asked skeptically, not willing to believe that he would just step aside and let me continue my world. He sighed, leaning over his desk and smiling. This was unlike him, his mood swings where getting worse.
"You and your mother are very much alike my dear girl. In order to tame you, I had to back you into a corner. Once you realized there wasn't a way out, you would reluctantly give me what I want. I want you to have a partner to share the burdens of the Kingdom with. It's not easy doing this alone. I won't say it can't be done, but the stress has been unbareable as of late. Seeing how you have put yourself into my shoes and done the best you could, I see a lot of me in you as well. You would have made a fine Prince if you had been born as one." Father's smile, and praisal was enough to make me feel warm inside. It wasn't very often when he praised me, especially of this calliber.
But I was also kind of angered that he had managed to trick me. To get his way, he used his old school military expertise, to get me to act as he wanted. This sly old man still had a few tricks up his sleeve after all. I don't even think Illia would have fallen for these schemes. With a tired smile, I shook my head. After all he did, he was just looking out for me. It made it hard to believe he use to be a tyrant.
"Thank you father. I will take my leave." I rose from my chair, but father stopped me with a wave of his hands, his face grew concerned.
"I mean it when I tell you to talk with Nicklos my dear girl. I want you to hear everything out before you willingly marry him. It's not good for soliders, or married couples to secrets between them." He paused for a moment, his face growing serious. "I like Nicklos, he is a good man, and ultimiately the decision will come down to him too. He may seem like he is madly in love with you, and maybe he is. But there is a lot of responsibility resting on his shoulders, and he can't just dump that on his younger brother." He leaned back in his chair again. Pausing once more. What did he mean? Wasn't his father still in charge of the affairs of his kingdom.
"I mean well Alliah, all I am saying is that he has recently been through a lot. I know that he is also looking for relief from his struggles. But I am just warning you, that you might not be the person able to do so. So please, if you need to reconsider the marriage with him you have my support. We still have many strapping men here. Once you announced you are retiring, I am sure that they will swarm to you as well." Father said with a chuckle before resuming reading over the document he had in his hand prior to the conversation.
All I wanted to accomplish, was getting dad's approval so I could start making the decision to our problem, easier. But not I was leaving feeling more complex and confused that I was before. What could have happened to Nicklos to make my father so wary of him. After all, our kingdoms have been friends for years. What ever happened during the time frame when he stopped talking to me, it was pretty serious. Even dad wasn't confidant that he would so easily and readily accept me. The confidence I held before, shattered around me, and I was left to stand in my own thoughts.
It wasn't until Father dismissed me, that I was able to summon the strength to move again. I bid farewell, and left the room, aimlessly walking down the hallway. Why would Nicklos come all the way out here if he wasn't sure about the marriage. It didn't seem like he was reluctant in anyway. So what did I feel like I was now farther out of the loop than I realized? Did Nicklos go to my father on his own accord and talk with him? What did he mean by, I might not be the one to help with his struggles?
"Are you really going to marry my sister?" Illia's voice resonated off the walls and it dragged me from my inner turmoil. But I couldn't see her anywhere. She had to be around the corner. So feeling noisy, I stalked quietly down the hallway, and to the intersecting corridor.
"I would like to, is that a problem?" My eyes widen when I saw Nicklos standing close to my sister Illia. She was wearing a pale green dress, her eyes where full of tears as he conversed with him. What where they doing together? It didn't seem like they where ever close before, so why now, of all times were they talking to each other?
"So that whole year you wrote to me, that was just to get my hopes up?" I flinched, surprised by her words. Nicklos's absence was, because of her? I felt my heart shatter, bringing me down entirely. I leaned against the wall as I continued to listen, knowing fully well what our conversation would sound like. If he didn't want me at his side truly and completely, I wasn't going to pressure him. I just wish he would have told me instead of leading me on the goose chase, especially after I was starting to forgive him.
"I apologise my lady, but my heart can not belong to you, when it has always belonged to her." He whispered to her. If she wanted him, she could have him. I stepped out from around the pillar that held the cieling up, my eyes and emotions feeling dry. Illia's eyes widened, her surprised face slowly turning into a smug smirk. But her smirk, only made me mirror her. Nicklos had turned to see where she was staring. I watched as his reluctance turned into shame and fear.
"Illia, you can have him. I have no desire to be a third wheel. I already got what I wanted anyway. So feel free to tell father that you found your partner." I flipped my hair over my shoulder and stormed past them. Nicklos tried reaching out to me, but I slapped his hand away. I didn't want him to try and explain anything to me anymore. If his heart was truly not with me, I didn't want to keep getting my hopes up again.
"You never cease to surprise me. You told me you loved me, and then you betrayed my trust. How convenient it must feel for you to play around with two woman's hearts. I don't need that right now, especially when there is so much going on. I wish you too eternal happiness." I stalked away, hoping that my words where sinking in. I would bless their marriage, because that was what a crown princess was suppose to do, even if it meant it would hurt me.