Chapter 4

February 20, 2018

Tulala ako habang nakaupo sa isa sa mga mono block na nakalaan para sa estudyante.

It's Science Fair in our school. Part of the celebration is our need to attend a certain symposium.

I have no problem with that. After all, I'm a normal student who likes getting excused from her classes.

Everything's good until I saw two familiar 'senior' students wearing their college uniforms. It's been months since the last time I have had a close interaction with them. Not that the interactions I've had could really be considered close. Nagpapicture lang naman ako, nakipagsparring at nagpadeliver ng pizza. Nothing shouts close.

Muntik ko nang masapo ang noo nang maisip kung bakit sila nandito. It's Science Fair!

Vance ranks second in the whole of Engineering Department. Malamang ay maiimbita siya for sharing excellent engineering ideas which could be applied with science concepts. He's expected to make a talk.

And this Kuya Dice, well..as far as my memory could take me..

"Paano mo nga siya nakilala Jat?"

"Why are you interested, Ate?" He munched his Hawaiian pizza slice as he threw me a suspicious look.

"Kasi nga, he's friends with Vance."

"The Vance guy, is he your crush?"

"No!" I lied convincingly. This is a talent, you see. I'm really good at denying things.

There are just certain people who make it hard for me to lie. Nauunahan kasi ako ng tensyon.

Jat's not one of them. I could play liar with this brat.

"Then why first?"

"It's gonna be a fascinating news for Griffie and Gal. Come on, just spill."

"They're already college, right? Bakit niyo pagchichismisan?"

Umirap ako. "Type noong dalawa si Vance."

"It's the Vance and not Kuya Dice."

"Come on, just spill the beans."

"I said, labas sa inyo si Kuya Dice, Ate." Kung protektahan niya ang Kuya Dice niya, akala mo naman ay kukuyugin namin ito.

"Lagi kasi silang magkasama noong Vance. Minsan curious na din sila Griffie. Ba't ba ayaw mo sumagot? Ang tanong ko lang naman eh paano mo nakilala?"

Tumawa siya. He finished the last bite.

"Wala lang. I just wanna ask first about the Vance. Looks like you guys are so into him." Nagsimula siyang maglagay ng hot sauce sa panibagong slice.

"Gal and Griffie are." I corrected. "Paano mo nga nakilala?"

Mommy and Daddy was busy talking to each other. Magkaharapan lang kami pero may sarili kaming mundo ng kapatid ko. We are still not done discussing the pizza boy.

"Nagtuturo siya sa Kumon. Happy ka na?"

"What?!" I asked, halos mahulog ang panga.

Kumon? Really? Eh estudyante pa lang siya ah?

"Hmm. He's way beyond you." I could feel his proudness for the dude. "And he's not calling me rotten kahit mas magaling siya sa'kin."

"Come on, ang mapagtanim mo." Tumawa ako. "But really? Kumon.."

That's just so.. wow. I can't believe a student was allowed to teach there. And for my brother to recognize him, he must have been really remarkable. Hindi kasi basta-basta umaamo ang kapatid ko. Unless he's way too amazed by the other end.

"Iyong Vance? Why is Ate Griffie and Kuya Gal interested with him, by the way?"

I tried to act normal. Iyong tipong hindi ako masyadong proud at humahanga. I made sure my adoration is not seeping in my voice when I replied.

"Alam mo naman yung dalawa, hunter ng pogi. Eh ayun, natipuhan. Palangiti kasi at approachable noong nasa photo studio. Dati pa yun, noong nagpa-ID kami." I shrugged my shoulders. As if hindi ako kasama sa mga nakatipo.

"And the biggest factor is because nabalitaan nilang Top 2 'yon ng Engineering Department. Halimaw daw ang GWA."

Jat seemed to be 'not' amazed though I tried my best to narrate him with glitters. Parang kahit anong mangyari ay wala ng gagaling pa sa idea ng Kuya Dice niya.

"My friends, notorious to be tirador of matatalino, pinagdidiskitahan si Vance."

"As if they'd go with senior high."

"Kahit pa daw." I added. "In love lang talaga sila sa idea of ending up with an extremely smart guy. Intellect is kind of the biggest issue with them."

With us. Gusto ko sanang icorrect.

Humility aside, the three of us are kind of.. paano ba? Basta, we are acing the batch. Nagpapalitan lang kaming tatlo ng ranking.

Depende kung sinong masipag ng sem na 'to.

We've been like that since junior high. Masyadong nagmamatter ang acads pero may time para sa kaabnuyan.

Something like that. The lethal combination of brain and topak. That's what pretty much makes up the group.

We're not discriminating the slow learners. Everyone can learn at their own pace. We sometimes have those episodes. It's just that.. we find it extremely attractive for a guy to be able to do everything with excellence and ease.

"Then they're looking at the wrong guy." Pasadsad na sagot ng kapatid ko.

"Huh?"

He looked at me like he was bored. "You guys are gawking at the top two without asking who ranked one?"

"Ano?" Tumawa ako. "Jat, who ranked one doesn't matter if he's not as complete as Vance's package. He got both the looks and the brains. If their intellect doesn't differ that much, doon sila kay Vance na mayroon pareho."

"Then bakit hindi niyo nga inalam kung sinong rank one?"

"Kasi nga baka pangit! Idealistic ang mga 'yon! Baka madisappoint lang sila."

"Nadisappoint ka ba?" He fired.

"Ano? Alam mo ang gulo-"

"The pizza guy. Kuya Dice. He's the one who ranked first in the whole College of Engineering of your university. Tinatanong kita Ate. Nadisappoint ka ba?"

I received the biggest shock of my life that night. Hindi ako nakatulog thinking of what my answer is to Jat's question.

Nadisappoint ba ako?

The looks of that guy.. impokrita yata ako pag sinabi kong disappointing iyon. He was hell.. hot.

Truly, he's kind of a different gwapo compared to Vance. Magkaiba sila.

Vance is the charming, fresh vibe. Siya iyong neutral and calm appeal na ang sarap lang pagmasdan. He's like a ball of positive energy.

Eh yung Kuya Dice niya kasi, nakakaheart attack lagi. Absolute opposite ng kaibigan niya. Siya yung nakakatense na nakakapatae pag tiningnan ka. He's the biggest ball of coldest energy I've ever seen my whole life.

The thing is, napapansin na din siya nila Griffie at Gallustine dahil lagi ngang kasama ni Vance. Pero pakiramdam daw kasi nila ay masyadong mature and distant ito for our age.

They gave him the description of sexily cold and smoking hot. Kung hindi lang daw masyadong intense para sa young vibe na tulad namin, they would clearly go for him.

Kaso hindi. So they decided tuloy na mas bet nila si Vance na cool lang daw sa pakiramdam.

Well, ewan ko lang pag nalaman nilang Rank 1 ito. Baka bumaligtad bigla si Griffie.

Basta ako, solid ako. I am after the neutral vibe. Itinuro sa akin ng Kapamilya Gold na hindi masyadong maganda ang tensyon sa buhay. Nakakasama ang sobrang stress. That's why my admiration has always been only directed to Vance. Siya lang kasi iyong pakiramdam ko talaga ay perfect blend ng easy yet thrilling.

"Today we have special guest speakers from the college department!"

Naalala kong nasa hall nga pala ako nang marinig ko ang MC.

"Ayown! The girls are setting their eyes to these fine young men."

Vance and Dice.. let me address them that way because I don't really feel like calling the two of them Kuya.

So yeah, Vance and Dice stood straight beside the MC. Hindi na ako nagulat nang ngiting-ngiti si Vance habang ang katabi ay mukhang hinigop ang lahat ng negative vibe sa hall. Poker face ito doon at steady lang.

Minsan ay ilalapit niya ang tainga pag bumubulong si Vance. Sisikuhin niya ng kaunti tapos tatawa na naman ang katabi.

Hindi na kailangan itanong kung magbestfriend sila dahil come on, it's like asking a curly-haired person kung kulot ba siya.

You see it. You can make a safe conclusion. No questions needed.

"Mehehe~" halos hindi ko makilala ang hagikhik ni Griffie sa gilid ko. Kinikilig daw kasi siya sa presensya ni Vance.

Ikinawit niya ang kamay niya sa braso ko at ipinatong ang baba sa aking balikat.

"Ang pogi, Jiana! Nakausap ko si Kuya kagabi. Sikat nga daw pala talaga si Bebe Vance sa college. Huhuhu. My hart is fallin'!"

She sounded like a typical fangirl. Gusto kong mag-agree. Gusto kong makiirit sa kaniya. Gusto kong makihampas.

But my long-time principles taught me not to express my adoration for men. Not when I'm not ending up with them, anyway. May habit pa naman itong dalawa na tuksuhin ako, in the most humiliating way possible.

At kung aamin ako ngayon sa kanila, it's going to be the hottest news. Kukuyugin nila ako. No way.

"Thank you for the opportunity, Ma'am, and for allowing us to talk in front of all these promising students." Vance smiled.

"Luh? Kandidato?" Umismid si Gal.

Medyo nagulat pa ako dahil parang hindi na niya ngayon bet si Vance. Parang kailan lang ay nakikitili pa siya.

Griffie grimaced before glaring at him. "Ang professional kaya!" Pagtatanggol niya sa crush niya.

"Bakit ba? Kaniya-kaniya tayo ng opinyon. Tunog-kandidato sa'kin eh." Inirapan niya ito.

Pinabayaan ko sila. I smell something weird, eh.

"Pake ko? Basta gwapo siya!"

"Mas gwapo ako," bulong ni Gal.

Halos manlaki ang mata ko sa narinig. I'm sure Griffie missed it. Nasa gitna kasi nila akong dalawa. I'm catching bullets fired by both sides since I always play the middleman.

But this bullet that was just fired sounded new to me!

Did Gal really compete with Vance's looks? Really? Damn! This gay is jealous!

"Ano daw? Anong ibinubulong-bulong niyan, Jiana?"

Ngumisi ako kay Gal. Pinanlakihan niya ako ng mata.

"Wala," I breathed.

"Well technically, science and engineering seemed to be very related matters. However, they still differ if we try looking at it on a bigger frame.

"There's a thin line that divides science from engineering. It's better if one learns to distinguish that line that makes them different but it's best if one could pick up those strong points with the intention of combining them together."

I internally praised him for discussing it intellectually. He's good. To the point I find it hard to believe that the glacier beside him was better.

He explained a lot more, dug deeper concepts and left tips for the upcoming exhibit.

Ang ipinagtataka ko, siya lang ang nagsalita and Dice remained standing. Ano 'to? Moral support?

"Wow! That was very well said! As expected from the pride of engineering! Thank you so much Mr. Vancellion Vienavista!" The MC knew how to play with their guests.

"And.. kung nagtataka kayo why this remarkable lad remains standing, may reason tayo d'yan, my dear senior high school students." Tumawa ang MC at kinawit ang braso kay Dice. "Eto po kasing si Mr. Del Sierra, mahal ang salita nito. Kung walang nakasalalay na uno, hindi namin 'to pinag-eexplain." She said proudly, as if the student beside her makes this university proud and tall.

So Del Sierra, huh? I mentally noted his last name.

"Tama ba ko ng dinig? Bakit parang mas mataas regard nila sa kaibigan ng bebe ko?" Griffie asked while her chin is still resting on my shoulder.

Nagkunwari akong walang alam kay Griffie. Ayoko sumagot. Ayoko nga.

"Pero kahit gano'n, Mr. Del Sierra will give us the opportunity to raise questions and he will gladly grant you a response!" She opened her arms.

"Go ahead! You can ask him refreshing ideas for the exhibit. Ask him recommendations for your past projects. Kahit ano, science is chicken, d'yan."

Napakamot lang ng batok si Dice. Mukha siyang awkward sa open praises ng MC.

"May iikot na microphone. Ipasa niyo sa katabi. When the song stops, whoever's holding it will ask."

Shit. 'Yan ang pinakaayaw ko. I'm not very outgoing. I hate people's attention. Pabibo lang ako pagdating kina Griffie at sa bahay. I only show my ridiculous self to people I am very close with. Pero pag ganito na, tinatamaan na 'ko ng hiya.

Tumugtog ang music. Tumigil. Tumapat sa second row, sa isang lalaking may singkit na mata.

"I have this certain proposal last year," medyo mayabang ang tono nito. "Body heat-powered cellphone. I think that's very stellar but my mentors rejected it. Is it reasonable or not?"

Napanganga ako bigla. This guy. Did he just use the seminar to retaliate with a teacher?

Tiningnan ko si Dice na bahagyang kumunot ang noo. "Are you asking me to justify your mentor's decision?"

"Yes, kuya. Your call."

"Do you know how conversion of thermal energy to electrical energy happens?"

"Google," sagot nito. His ID lace tells me he's a Grade 12 student. "Whether I know it perfectly or not, it's not the point. The point is, in the perception of an Engineering student, is my study stellar?"

"It is," simpleng sagot ni Dice. Ngumisi ang lalaki, masaya sa narinig mula doon. Pero hindi pa nasasaglitan ay may idinugtong na agad. "But.."

We waited for his after speech.

"In the perspective of your mentor, your knowledge and means as of now, do not make your proposal feasible."

"What?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ng estudyante.

Naghagikhikan na kasi kami. Ang yabang naman kasi niya. So what if the idea is good? Kung hindi niya kaya, tigilan niya.

"You weren't even aware of the basic concept to be applied." Dice fired back. Hindi ko alam kung masyado na ba niyang nahihiya ang junior student niya pero alangan namang siya ang mapahiya. I think he's not really stepping on a bad line.

"There's Google and I could understand it. My father is an engineer and he said it's a good project if I could finish it."

"Exactly," bored nitong balik sa Grade 12. "If.. you could finish it."

"Daddy is to help!"

"Yet he used 'if'. Hypothetical. With uncertainty. Why? Cause it's not really very feasible yet. You know why it's not yet out of the market? Cause there are loopholes. It's an incomplete idea. There are problems to troubleshoot. It's going to be too hard for you so your teacher saved you the trouble."

I pursed my lips. Pwede bang.. bawiin yung sinabi kanina?

It's not really hard to believe that he's beyond Vancellion. I remained on my seat, a little bothered by Griffie's positive comments to Dice.

"Everything starts with a ridiculous idea! One day, you'll see! Makakagawa ako!" Now he starts sounding very bratty.

Tumango lang si Dice sa kaniya, "Sure. I imagine a flying car. Does that mean I could propose it?"

May iba sa tono niya. Hindi naman siya nang-aasar pero ganoon 'yong dating. Pero feeling ko naman, he's trying to make an analogy.

"What?! That's very impossible naman!"

"Basically why your statement that everything starts with a ridiculous idea couldn't be valid."

Burn! Savage, dear!

"I'm not really saying that you can't do it if you try your best. But the time span given to you, as a senior high student wouldn't be enough to create this project. I'm just trying to tell you that your teacher considers the time frame and the high probability of success."

Galit na naupo ang lalaki.

Tumawa ang MC, "That was some fire, we have there. I can't believe this symposium is going this way!"

Hindi ko alam kung natutuwa ba siya, naeentertain o kinakabahan dahil parang naiba ang ihip ng diskusyon. Nevertheless, the mic started roaming around again.

The speakers sang for us and stopped with the MC's flick of finger.

This time, it was a girl with a short hair who was very fair and white, still coming from the Grade 12 department.

"Uhm.. why did you take Engineering po?"

Eh?

Ano 'to ate? Career Guidance? Science Fair, ate! Kinang-kinang pa ang mata mo d'yan.

May mga pagpapantasya din si Griffie sa gilid ko pero wala ako sa mood na makinig sa kaniya.

"Wews!" Tumawa ulit ang MC. "That was very personal but sige, itanong natin... in case these lads here could recruit some of you to be future engineers."

Napatitig ulit ako sa kaniya. He only pursed his lips. I could feel that he's not really happy with anyone digging his private thoughts but he tried to be welcoming.

"It's just a dream," seryoso nitong sagot.

"'Yon lang po?" Nahihiyang tanong pa ulit ng babae. She's trying to dig more and make this distant man talk more. "I mean.. uh.. why was it your dream?"

"There are things we wanted for no reason. Basta pinangarap lang natin. Basta gusto lang natin maabot." Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa bigla.

My chest hammered inside. Natatakot na naman yata sa kaniya.

"Basta gusto lang nating mapasaatin." He whispered, but doesn't really count as a whisper since he has a mic.

Pwede bang.. makaalis na lang? Nakakatense talaga ang isang 'to. Bakit kasi titingin pa siya dito eh hindi naman ako ang nagtanong? Tumataas tuloy ang altapresyon ko sa kaba!

"Tunginuh!" Tulalang sabi ni Griffie sa tabi ko. "Wasn't that hot, Jiana?"

Hindi ako makasagot. I only swallowed with my dry throat. Kulang na lang magpagulong-gulong si Griffie sa gitna dahil lang daw may something sa pagkakasabi ni Dice. Ang manly daw na ang hot. Dreams pa lang daw kasi ang pinag-uusapan. Paano na daw kung babae?

Medyo hindi ako mapakali. Not knowing who between Dice and Vance weighs more now in Griffie's perception. Gusto kong magtanong para masatisfy ang curiosity pero hindi ko ginawa.

"Hoy!" Siniko ako ni Gallustine after my long internal battle.

"Ano?"

Inginuso niya ang kamay ko.

My eyes widened when I saw my hands gripping a cold microphone.

Napakagat ako ng labi bago dahan-dahang iniangat ang tingin sa kolehiyong lalaki. Hindi nakakatulong sa umiingay kong kaba ang titig niyang baon na baon.

Ayan na naman siya. Parang may kasalanan akong hindi pa napagbabayaran.

The tension almost rose over my head when I even saw everyone's eyes staring at me–waiting for me to throw a question.

"Gal, ikaw na lang.." bulong ko kay Gallustine.

"Sige na Miss, go on. Magtanong ka na." Anang MC na parang narinig ang paghingi ko ng saklolo sa kaibigan.

Slow motion akong tumayo sa mono bloc, nilalamon ng kaba.

"Uh.." nanginig ang labi ko nang sumubok magsalita.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Anong itatanong ko? Ano? Ano? Mag-isip ka ng kahit na ano, Jiana!

Napatingin ako sa gawi ni Vance habang nag-iisip. I saw him staring at me, too. He has a playful smile on his lips. Hindi ko naman alam kung anong nakakatawa pero parang tuwang-tuwa siya na magpalipat-lipat ng tingin sa akin at sa kaibigan niya.

"Do you want to ask me or do you want to ask Vance?"

Napalingon ako kay Dice ng mabilis. "Huh?"

"Titig pa." Nanghahamon niyang sabi.

Naghalakhakan bigla ang mga tao sa paligid ko habang kusang nag-init ang aking pisngi. Pinalo ako sa pwet ni Griffie at Gallustine.

"Vance ka din pala eh!" Griffie shamelessly remarked.

Hindi ko na kayang pagtakpan ang hiya ko. I blurted out the first thing that came out of my mind.

"Are you insecure with your friend?"

Natahimik lahat. Huli na nang maisip kong ang showbiz ng tanong.

"Is that really the question?"

Gusto ko na lang tumakbo palabas. Gusto kong pagbigyan ang tuhod na bumigay. Sa dilim ng titig niya sa akin, pakiramdam ko hindi na natapos ang listahan niya ng kasalanan ko sa kaniya. Kahit pa nga wala akong alam maski isang ginawa ko na dapat magpagalit sa kaniya.

Ito pa lang siguro. Masyado yatang masama ang dating ng tanong ko.

"H-Hindi sana. But you're blurting out weird things out of a sudden." Me, trying to justify my rude question.

The intensity of his eyes reached its fire. Akala ko sa tindi ng pagkakatikom ng labi niya, hindi na siya magsasalita pa. But he did.

"It's not insecurity. Not that. I have a different thing against him." He said coldly.

Tiningnan ko ang kaibigan niya pero tawang-tawa pa din ito. Isa pa din ito eh! We're in the middle of something critical! Anong nakakatawa?

I raised the mic, ready to ask what is it he had against Vance but..

"Don't follow your question. You'd be shocked to know. Believe me, Jiana."

And off, he gave the mic to the MC and stormed his way out.

Damn it! Ang dami ko tuloy proproblemahin.

Ang tingin ng buong senior high population. Ang tanong ni Griffie kung paano nito nalaman ang pangalan ko na maging ako hindi rin alam. Ang mapang-asar na mata ni Gal.

At ang.. papansin kong puso na hindi mapakali. Siguro dahil.. nakakahiya ang sagutan naming dalawa. At.. hindi ako sanay na may galit sa'kin. Basta..

Damn it talaga!