Just Me

A world beautiful as hell is where I live sorry am talking about my world. I live in Liberia a very beautiful country where I attended high school. Am Aisha Jalloh born on 5 August 2002, it is 2022 now but I still see a little girl talking to the night, making wishes to the air, turning down the sun, and wondering about the soil as she feeds them salt, life was torn in her soul. These darkness hunt her not, because they were her, her only comfort. The cry and silence of the night were her songs and the light and sounds of the day were her silence. hating and loving them all because it was the world of loneliness, she never saw the light or beauty of the sun. imaging a world of just one. no one knew her they don't see her, cause the darkness swallowed her up, but why did they fear her?

Mom is never home, As a girl of 20 I now understand why mom was never home, and I pray that one day she finally comes home forever. my mom was the only one I had. she would sell under the rain and sun night and day just to be able to feed me and pay me and my slipping school fees. I have two brothers and one sister, they all did not grow up with mom. am the last born maybe that was why she did not allow anyone to take me. very selfish and I think this is why am a friend. am a tom girl I forgot to say that. boys were my friends because girls turn out to be aggressive, rude proud, and judgemental beings. so I always keep my distance. they like to fright and am very lazy. boys were great fun, we did lot of thing together climbing trees playing games making trouble, and the worst sealing especially food, and smoking, learning bad things, but trust me am not any of these anymore. by the age of nine I stay away from both boys and girls because I started to think about what I wanted and not want. as I start to grow I felt more lonely then ever. girls like me and I never like lesbianism so I drew away totally from girls. not all girls are lesbian don't get me wrong. I was afraid because when a girl truly love u she will do whatever to seduce you even they are not lesbian. they want your attention, they want to feel your love and show their feelings. and as for me am very shy around people so it even make it more difficult for me. As for the they wanted more which I thought I could not give. I thought it was wrong for a girl my age to be with the boys. I knew people judge me because I was with them. I did not choose to stay away because of what people think, I still away because I think it was for my own good.

As a child my age no one told me what is right or wrong. Every one that live close to me hated me because I was bore and direct with them which they did not like, and see it as rudeness. they were afraid of me so I knew I had to make my own decisions. I have to tell myself its late sleep, you have to take bath, you have to do this or that, study don't miss school. and I started to get lost in wondering how my future will change my life or how my life would change my future. I had no one to tell my worries to, or any one to ask what I don't understand or should do. l thought I would remain lonely for every until.