99. Chapter 99

After A Slice of Death

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I don't even own one slice of Castle. Rating: K+ Time: See above.

Kate Beckett looked up from the paperwork she was busy with. Castle had been unusually quiet for a good half an hour. He was engrossed in something on his phone. Kate tried to get a look at what he was doing, but couldn't see anything without getting up and looking over his shoulder.

"Ready for lunch, Castle?" She asked quietly.

"Um." He replied, not looking at her at all.

"I thought we'd try some Chinese."

"Uh huh." Castle was seriously absorbed in whatever was on his phone.

"Ryan can't come. A giant eagle carried him off earlier."

"Yeah." Nothing.

She was starting to get a little pissed off. "We could always play strip poker instead."

"Um." There was absolutely no reaction from Castle.

Kate leaned over as far as she could. "Castle!" She barked. "Lunch?"

He looked up suddenly. "Lunch? Sure. All you have to do is ask."

She shook her head, but grabbed her coat and headed for the elevator. Castle followed her, still engrossed in his phone. Kate was curious about whatever Castle was so engrossed in. And a little jealous. She thought to herself. I'm falling in love with Castle. Oh, hell, be honest with yourself. You are in love with him. And he's in love with you. But neither of us will do anything about it. Me, because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of letting anyone get past my wall. And Castle? I think he's too much of a gentleman to make a move on me while I'm with Josh. Damn it!

Both were so involved in their own thoughts that they stepped into a crosswalk without looking. A car running a red light nearly hit them. Kate pulled them both out of the way, sprawling both of them onto the hood of a parked car, Kate on top of Rick. For just a second their faces were only an inch apart, with Kate's body pressed against his. For a moment Kate was nearly overcome with desire. I want this man. I really do.

Castle craned his head around to stare after the long vanished car. "Asshole!" he called. He looked back at Kate. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. The moment had passed. She was in control again. "Yeah? You?"

"I'm fine."

Kate pushed herself off of Rick and grabbed his phone. "I forbid you to use any of the apps on your phone until we're back at the precinct. And in return for saving your life, you're buying me lunch."

Castle nodded. "Sure. Anything you want. Where do you want to go?"

"The Jade Palace." Kate had originally had a small family owned place in mind, but felt that Castle owed her now.

"Great! I love their moo goo gai pan. Oh, if you order that, be sure to ask for extra snow peas. They're fantastic. "Kate was already walking down the street. He hurried to catch up with her. "Did you say something about poker earlier?"

She smiled. "No, why do you ask?"

"Nothing."

Once seated, Kate's curiosity got the better of her. "Okay, Castle. What's so fascinating on your phone? A new game app? Glowing reviews of your books? Live, naked women?"

"Much better than dead, naked women." He teased.

She frowned. "Not good, considering the business we're in. What is it?"

"I re-read the book Gordon Burns wrote about the war in Bosnia and the snipers of Sarajevo. When I was done I looked up his old Ledger articles. It turns out he wrote a number of articles about that war that never made it into his book that I had missed. That's what I was reading just now."

"You really must admire his writing, then."

"It's not just the writing. It's what he did. I mean can you imagine being in a modern city that's under siege? I mean Burns could get out on UN aircraft. They usually weren't shot at. What would it be like to be under fire like that and not be able to get out? I can't imagine myself doing that."

Kate frowned. "You do remember that you've been shot at, right? A Nigerian warlord. Threatened with death by a Russian mobster. Shot at by that snake smuggler. Got in a gunfight with Scott Dunn. Traded shots with a counterfeiter. Faced down 3XK. You even took down a highly trained professional killer." Beckett stopped for a moment. That's when you kissed me. No, that's when we kissed. And I haven't been able to get that out of my head. She had to change the subject while she still could. "And don't forget the most dangerous thing you ever did."

"And that is?" He asked, curious.

"Looked into my Mom's murder, infuriating me." She said with smile.

He laughed, then became serious. "But what he did was different. This wasn't facing one guy with a pistol and then it was over. Every second you could die. Walk down the street and a mortar shell drops on you. You're fast asleep in your own home and an artillery shell crashes into your bedroom. Imagine facing death for every second for months on end."

Kate nodded and then smiled at him. "I'll agree. It does make what we do seem trivial. He was a very brave man. But that doesn't mean you're not, Castle."

For a split second, he thought about making a joke out of it, instead he said. "Thank you. I appreciate it. It's quite a compliment coming from you."

Before Kate could reply, the waiter brought their order. They stopped the conversation to eat.

They were finishing their lunch when Castle spoke again. "It's not just that he was brave. It's not just that he was a good writer. What he wrote made a difference. People read what he wrote, and what others wrote, and broadcast, and decided that something had to be done. He changed things for the better. My books just don't compare."

"Again, Castle, you're wrong. Your books may not change the world, but working with the NYPD has. Oh, maybe not as much as Gordon Burns did, but you've done good things in your life. You've helped people who have had to deal with one of the hardest things in life to deal with. I know, I'm one of the people you've helped."

"Always glad to help. Always."

Kate smiled at him. "And don't sell the Nikki Heat books short. You've changed my life with those books."

He looked at her curiously. "But you hate the books."

She sighed and shook her head. "I still think Nikki Heat is a stripper name, but I love the books. Nikki's a good cop. The kind of cop I'd like to be. The kind of cop all cops want to be. You give us all something to shoot for."

Castle smiled at her briefly, then got serious. "You're wrong. As hard as I try to make Nikki like you, I've failed. She's not as brainy as you are, not as dedicated, not as driven, not as knowledgeable, not as…She's not Kate Beckett, that's all. I'm not a good enough writer to do you justice."

Kate blushed. No, Nikki Heat wasn't Kate Beckett. Nikki wasn't paralyzed by the idea of letting the man she loved into her life. She slept with Rook and considered him her partner in all things. She was something Kate was not. Something she was afraid she'd never be. "Thanks, Castle. That's very sweet of you. I appreciate it. We'll just have to agree to disagree on Nikki."

"Okay." He glanced at his watch. "Time to get back to the precinct, I think."

She nodded and stood up.

"This time Beckett, I'll pay attention when I cross the street so you won't have to save my life again."

It wouldn't be so bad if I got to hold you again. She thought.