204. Chapter 204

After The Dead Pool, Yet Again

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: If there's a pool on whether or not I own Castle, put your money on "No". Rating: M Time: See above.

Kate Beckett stretched her naked body on the bed, stretched and arched her back, so that her boobs rolled around on her chest, so enticingly. She smiled at her writer lover, who smiled back. She ran her eyes over his equally naked form, appreciating what she saw, especially his growing erection. She smiled seductively and reached out to grasp him. He smiled back and pulled his gorgeous muse to him.

"Ready to go again, Alex?" She asked.

"You could keep me going forever, Kate." And he proceeded to demonstrate his willingness, determination and stamina.

After another bout of sex, the two lovers collapsed in a sweaty heap on the huge round bed they shared.

"You know, I almost feel like I'm cheating on Castle." Alex said.

"Why?" Kate asked. "I mean my official boyfriend is Dr. Josh Davidson. And I've had other boyfriends since I started letting Castle follow me around. There was an FBI agent named Will, then it was a robbery detective named Demming. Tom and I still sleep together now and again. Of course, I also sleep with Javi Esposito, one of the cops you went out with. He's ex-Special Forces. I don't know exactly how they train those guys, but he's certainly picked up some interesting…abilities…overseas. Then there's his partner, Ryan. He's been a little reticent since he got engaged to that blonde, but I've managed to make him see the light. I told him he should consider me part of his Freebie Five. Of course my boss, Captain Montgomery sleeps with me. You know, after thirty years of marriage, sleeping with one woman can make you kind of stale. Those are pretty much my regular lovers, but I do manage a number of one night stands." Kate giggled. "There was this outlaw biker, Billy Grimm. His dumb blonde bitch girlfriend thought she could keep us apart, so I beat her up and cuffed her. Made her watch while Billy and I got it on." Kate thought for a second. "That was good case. I also found a bunch of male strippers. Now that was fun. So, see? You don't have to worry about cheating on Castle."

"But you do sleep with Castle, right?" Alex asked.

Kate laughed. "Alex! Be serious. Me, sleep with Castle? I mean he's a damned good detective and he helps to keep my case closure rate the highest in the city. He's also a great comic sidekick, but sleep with Castle? I'd have to be really hard up. I mean, world class desperate." Kate shook her head in amazement that Alex would think she'd sleep with Castle.

"Rookie mistake, huh?" Alex said.

"You'll learn. Your new muse will teach you so much." Kate smiled alluringly. "Speaking of teaching…"

"No!" Castle screamed, sitting up in bed. In an instant, Kate had her arms around him.

"What is it, babe?" She asked, her voice filled with concern.

"Nothing." Castle said, gasping for air, his heart racing.

Kate put her hand on his chest. "Your heart is beating like a drum solo, you're sweaty and you woke up screaming. That's not nothing, Castle. Tell me what it was."

"Just a nightmare. It really was nothing."

"What was the nightmare about?"

"Nothing. I don't remember." Castle said, too quickly.

Kate held him, stroking his chest. "Castle, you know I can tell when you're lying. When we got married I promised that there would be no more lies from me and no more secrets from you. You promised the same. Now what was it? I'm sure it was a nightmare and I'm sure you do remember it. So, talk to me. Please?"

"It's embarrassing." He said quietly.

"I hope you're not afraid that I'm going to go run and tell everyone about it." She teased.

"No, it's just…"He waited for a few seconds. "It's about you."

"A…nightmare about me?" Kate thought for a moment. "Was I in danger?"

He shook his head. "No." She waited patiently until Castle had to tell her. "I dreamed that you and Alex Conrad were making love. You were telling him about all the men you were sleeping with, Josh, Demming, Ryan and Esposito, Captain Montgomery and lots of others."

Kate considered what he had said very carefully. She was hurt and confused. "Are you afraid I'll cheat on you? You know that will never, ever happen, right?"

"I know. I know. I love you, Kate, and I know you love me." He stopped before finally deciding he had to go on. "But I'm so afraid of losing you. It terrifies me."

"There's no reason for you to be afraid of losing me, Rick. You're my whole life. I've known you long enough to know I'll never want anyone else like I want and love you. Never."

"I know…but…" He stopped again. Kate waited patiently until he spoke again. "I loved Kyra Blaine and I thought we'd be together forever. And one day she got on a plane and I didn't see her for twenty years. Next was Meredith. I thought she was my one and done. And one day I found out she was shacked up with some director in Malibu and she wanted a divorce. Then there was Gina. I have trouble even now figuring out why I married Gina, but I did and that ended in divorce. After a while I thought that maybe all I'd ever find in life was just casual sex. No real lasting relationships. And then I found you."

Kate hugged Rick as tightly as she could. "I know that things have never been easy between us, but you and I will be together for the rest of our lives. I promise you that."

"I know. I love you, Kate."

"I love you too."

Rick and Kate lay entwined in each other's arms, watching the sun come up over the Hamptons. Finally, Kate spoke. "Why do you think you imagined me with Alex Conrad, rather than someone you knew had been my boyfriend?"

"I guess because I know Alex and like him. I was terribly jealous at the time, if you remember."

"Did you know I tried to make you jealous?" Kate asked. "I still remember the look on your face when I leaned back and pushed my boobs out. I know you were thinking that I'd been fooling around with Alex. Just for a second, I'm sure."

"You were trying to make me jealous? Why? And you sure as hell succeeded."

"Because, Castle, I had been fighting against falling in love with you for over two years back then. I was losing that fight badly. And I still didn't know how you felt about me. Oh, I was sure you wanted more than sex, maybe more than being my partner and friend. I thought you might love me, but I wasn't sure. Not until you admitted you were jealous of Alex. That was the very first time that you admitted to me that you had real feelings for me. That was the first real tangible evidence I had that you were in love with me."

"I should have said something sooner. And I shouldn't have acted like I wasn't at all attracted to you."

Kate laughed and kissed him. "It doesn't matter now, does it? I did try to tell you, though. When I said I was a one writer girl? I meant it."

"And you said my being jealous was sweet, too."

"It was. I really should have broken up with Josh then. " Kate thought for a moment. "I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't gotten shot? If that hadn't totally screwed up everything? Or what would have happened if I told you in time that I'd go to the Hamptons with you that Memorial Day? Or if you hadn't come back. Or if… "

"We'd be together, Kate. The Universe would see to it." Castle said softly.

"The Universe? Like hell, Castle. I would have seen to it."