CHAPTER ONE: A TROUBLED SOUL

Maxine’s P.O.V

I tossed and turned trying slumber to embrace my godforsaken body but it wouldn't let me. Grumbling I urged myself to sleep but it was no use. The thoughts buried down my mind were haunting me the same way I needed sleep to take me. Away from the feelings that were evoked with every thought that popped up.

‘What does one have to do to avoid such void, Lord if it is a sin please forgive me for I have no heart nor strength to stop this feeling’ I pleaded as I thought to myself sighing.

Thinking about that day made my toes curl. I laughed silently as I went down memory lane.

‘My mother is going to skin me alive if she finds out’.

I laughed silently ignoring the pang of pain that was trying to engulf me. I mean that woman hated seeing me happy.

'Wait! What if this is not true’ the words uttered to me like sirens. What if they were none other than a plan to destroy my life?

‘My mother would be happy seeing me crushed to the core I'm sure' I churned silently not trusting anything anymore.

Suddenly it was silent, like I was not there anymore. I looked at my chest that had been pounding but nothing, no thudding but pain that was growing slowly into hot larva.

Worry engulfed me.

‘There we go again’.

It was a familiar feeling. I silently cried wondering why that happened so often.

‘What if I’m really sick?’

I mean pain like that with no heart pounding was something I could not fathom, and they happened more often at times when I thought too much.

‘I wonder if I should call mother!’ but I felt the pain sweeping away giving me breath again. Signing with relief, I face-palmed myself trying to sleep.

‘Damn!’ It was really hard.

"Argh" I screamed to no one but myself.

'God will you save me from this countless dreadful nights, for once just a peaceful night I seek from you, just one good night from being haunted by the past' I prayed to God but to my dismay I was still up and my mind running thousand miles.

I let out a sad laugh as I wondered. 'Who am I kidding, who would listen to me! A waste, a dreadful sinner. I mean my life is so fucked up my mom literary calls me darkens and demon in her sleep. Wait why does she call me darkness anyways? Maybe I am darkness and demonic!' I continued contemplating, my worry growing.

I knew very well that this were all questions I couldn't get answers to, I mean I had been asking myself from the day my father disappeared; that was the day my mother started calling me darkness even during the day when she felt like it without purpose.

Shaking my head vigorously disapproving the thoughts that wanted to engulf me.

'There I go worrying about what my mother thinks, I mean who cares what that woman says, I mean she hates me so much I'm sure she hated me from birth' I thought sadly as I tried to remove all thoughts about my mother. I mean there were all bad and it gave me grief so yes I had to stop tormenting myself. It made me wonder though, that when the last time I was happy, I mean the torment had gone far too long I couldn’t think of any happy moments anymore.

"Argh" I grumbled as I continued to toss and turn.

The thoughts of my mother's resentment came crushing on me like a hurricane as I went down memory lane, a place I had escaped for so long........

FIVE YEARS AGO.....

Walking slowly, kicking stones I approached the door at my house. It was too quiet, it worried me. I touched the door knob slowly and was about to open when I heard cries muffled inside the house.

'What the heck!' I dashed into the house worried something had happened to my mother.

‘Yeah I loved and hated her, if you know what I mean’. I reached where the sounds came from, in the kitchen, only to find my mother singing in a high pitched voice, silently crying. I looked at her confused, I turned to the only man I knew had the guts of laying hands on her, Michael!

'Is he retarded or something?' I thought angrily as Michael smirked.

The man I loathed but could not remove for my mother's sake. I mean she was happy with him, or she just wanted him around and I had no right to dismiss him.

'I mean how do you say you're a Christian and have a boyfriend that beats you almost every week, treats you like shit and threatens your daughter. Talk about some Christians’ I shook my head in disbelief.

‘Lord I don’t know you but I'm sure this is definitely not you!' Suppressing the groan evoked in my chest I looked at my mother worryingly but to my surprise she just shouted at me like I had done something wrong.

"Why are you standing there like a retarded person?" she questioned in a high pitched voice baffling me.

'Well you read my mind just shift those words to the ones that deserve them, a little more to the left I mean!' Ignoring her outburst, I rambled in my head.

"Mother I swear if he laid his hands on you again I am..." giving Michael a deadliest look, showing him I was clearly speaking to him and not hiding it one bit.

Before I could utter my whole sentence my mother slapped me so hard I felt my whole body jolting with a thousand volts of electricity. That woman's slap was not only known for its disgraceful effect, but if she hit you hard enough I'm sure your mother which in this case is her, felt it too. I turned to her, giving her a hurtful look but only to be met by an angry piercing look. I gave her a confused look but she shrugged her shoulders. Deciding to let it go, I mean this was how they played with Michael so who cared.

'But why was I slapped again? Agh! Note to self, don’t ever try helping your mother if it involved Michael'. I shook my head disapprovingly as I went to my room but not before Michael grabbed my hand. He always wanted to have the last word, an upper hand I called it. I jerked it back forcefully giving him the deadliest look that could split him apart, he just ignored me. I rushed into my room but not before I heard him muttering

"Demon, Darkness"

'Well there goes the choir' I left them as I continued making my way up.

‘I mean why I should care if people decide to call me such weird meaningless names’ I dreaded the day when I am left alone with him.

Sitting down contemplating, I heard my head’s heart beat thudding. I felt my temperature rising, my palms sweating. I didn’t even bother to worry why for I knew very well the sadness, hurt and disappointment that was slowly fading with my giving up. I wanted to do something but it was pointless. My head was spinning, I tried to shut down my emotions, a defense mechanism I had come to master after knowing Michael but it was no use, I felt every word cut deep into my soul like razor blades I wanted to hit something, or curse the world for bringing him around.

‘When will she realize he is not worth it?’ I wondered hating and feeling sad for my mother.

I was so angry I came back to the kitchen to fetch water to calm my nerves only to be met by a hockey stick. As I plopped down I seethed knowing very well who did it, I stood up ready to pounce but Michael bit me to it. He hit me again on the back, I felt my left shoulder going numb. All this time my mother was there acting like I do not exist.

I looked at her, I wondered why her troubles, her unhappiness troubled me more than what Michael was doing to me at that moment. I was disappointed in her. I wanted to scream at her so she wakes up from her dream but her face just took all my strength away.

‘Why is her happiness heavy on me? Why can’t I just focus on myself and forget about her. Why can’t I just let someone else carry her burdens for me?’ I wanted so bad not to care but I couldn’t. I turned around as I felt another pang of pain in my back.

‘Bastard hit me again.

"What the flying..."I couldn’t finish my sentence as I cried with pain as he hit me hard on my arm making it numb. Before I knew it my mother's backhand met my face.

"You do not curse in a house of God" she burst like it was a new theme.

I froze. I looked at my mother. She looked at me scared like I was going to hit her, but in truth I wasn’t. I was just disappointed at her. I touched where she hit me and looked at her again. My eyes were a bit stingy I wanted to cry. Not because I felt pain from their beating but rather the fact that I was disappointed she couldn’t realize the damage they were doing.

'Seriously! A house of God?' I mean I wasn’t expecting it.

‘There are time we call God but this one is none of them’ I looked at them both sadly. I felt nothing but sadness for them. They were so hung up on each other they were motivated by obliviousness and stupidity it was saddening for an elder, especially to people I was supposed to look up to. I didn’t mind though, I just shook my head and dismiss their doings, it was pointless to speak, they were hopeless.

They would always gang up on me, when she was angry at Michael and could not express it, and Michael angry but not angry enough to be hitting her but me. My mother looked at me angrily ready to pounce again but decided against it.

"You worthless peace...." my mother spat but decided to leave to her room as she shook her head and left me to fend for myself as Michael finished her muttering.

"...peace of shit. Stay down you abomination of a child, that is where you belong". I looked at my mother who had disappeared in her room, then back at Michael with the most threatening look I could muster. In as much as I didn’t mind their doings I sure as hell wasn’t about to take bullshit from him. I remembered I couldn't do it again, not with my mother in anyways.

Beat him to a pulp I mean! I had done it before when he tried to sexually harass me a month ago while my mother was at work. I finally had a black belt in karate, and my mother's hatred from that day grew stronger after hearing the endeavors of me and Michael. Well not the whole story, but the part where I beat him up. I mean what was she thinking, that I would remain a child forever? I was so embarrassed and had so much hatred for her because one of the neighbors who saw the whole thing decided to tell her and she continued to spread rumors around church members telling them I'm the cause of her unhappiness, and that I wanted Michael.

‘Such idiotic way of expressing yourself, without standing up to the real truth’ I thought remembering some of her church members cursing at me when I was passing them.

Lifting myself up slowly whiles Michael moved around the table. I looked at my mother who was back in the kitchen flinching at Michael's kisses.

‘Why is he still around?’ I mean there was practically nothing between them.

Shaking my head strongly, Michael saw my reaction and moved about to hit me again but I ducked and he missed, pissed off he raised his hand again but was stopped by my now unwavering still body. I was fed up of being treated like nothing. He was kind of scared but he got the advantage every time my mother was around, he would continue his assault and extend it to my mother. He was about to grab my neck and I couldn’t stop him, or maybe I was going to stop him. I mean I didn’t want to disrespect my mother but I sure as hell wasn’t about to be a punching bag that night. My mother saw this as time to break the fight knowing very well where it was leading to, she called Michael for dinner.

'Saved by dinner!' last time we went for it the whole house was messed up, when my mother came that day after me beating Michael, she found the whole place trashed. I guess she did not want it to repeat itself.

‘Oh and dinner was meant for Michael only now! Talk about hypocritical acts!’

I was ready to pounce no matter what my mother said though. Yes I did not want to disrespect her but I was done playing their sick game. That day I was tired from training, coach had been hard on us, so I was definitely not in the mood for his escapades. I mean the moment Michael stepped into our lives he had been nothing but troublesome.

'A man-child that needed a little bit of discipline' I thought as I looked at him up and down, hating everything he stood for.

I remember how it all started. A year after my father left, Michael moved in with us. Although it took five years of Michaels devil schemes, I had decided to join karate and visit doctors for appointments for therapy, that's another story for another day though!

It was worth it. For a twelve-year-old child during that time I was proud of the person I had become. I survived, that all that mattered to me.

‘A whole five years in purgatory of Michael’ I thought fixing myself ready to leave them be.

It was something I did not want to go through ever again. Of course he would come from time to time back then when I was still in training but it was better, I could fight him off and sometimes I was able to stop him, with the help of my mother being around of course. I would shriek and fight him off but when she wasn't we would fight to a point he would beat me so bad to get way with his monstrosity.

'I will get better, I will grow' I therupitized myself from time to time when I remembered what I was going through.

I sat down in my bedroom carpet trying to control my anger as my mind went further down memory lane, I did not want to remember but once my mind had a glimpse it was hard to stop.

ONE YEAR AGO BEFORE FIVE YEARS HAD PAST.....

"Hey Maxine can you come to the kitchen" My father requested mischievously.

I, an eleven-year-old daughter, the only child of my mother and father, I rushed into the kitchen skipping along the way. I was so loved by both my parents so much so that they couldn't afford seeing me cry. I got everything I wanted. I was an angel to their eyes. My father would sometimes say I was the God's gift. I don’t know why he had to add the, but he did, I always thought it was lame.

"Hey daddy" I murmured lovingly as I moved to sit to his lap.

"Hello sunshine" he whispered back lovingly matching my enthusiasm as he picked me up and placed me on his lap.

"How was your day at school" he continued.

"Oh daddy it was amazing; Miss Johnson gave us lollipops every time we got answers right" I chipped.

"Wait! You have a new teacher now?" he asked smiling to me as I was making faces and giggling.

"Yeah! She is sooo nice. I Love Her!" I blushed and closed my face with my palms.

My father made faces with me, and laughed at me as I continued to blush more.

"My queen has a queen" he stated lovingly. He always referred me as his Queen.

"Daddy stop!" I babbled laughing so hard and probably enjoying the feeling too much.

My father looked at me confused "when did you learn about love all of a sudden?" he muttered.

"I have something for you" he said whiles still giggling with me not waiting for me to answer.

Taking out a bracelet. Of course I was their first child, I wasn't a boy as it was expected but to him I deserved it nonetheless. I had been told the stories of the bracelet, it didn’t make any sense then and it's still not even now. In as much as he knew the meaning of giving me the bracelet, to him it was just a gift, a gift that had been passed down from his first generation. He thought its story was funny, every now and then his father would tell him, and him in turn tell me.

"The bracelets protect you and the people around you, my father said" he whispered softly thinking of his words laughing and shaking his head.

"It’s just a bracelet" he continued looking weird whilst saying that.

"I mean it is just a bracelet, right!" he questioned himself and the importance of the bracelet.

"Anyways" he shrugged his shoulders.

He looked at me as I had a confused smirk on my face whiles I looked at him battle with his thoughts.

"Ready?" he asked lovingly.

"Yesssss" I chipped clapping my hands ready to wear the bracelet.

I was so happy at that time. He looked at me lovingly and said a small wish that I could be that age forever, happy and innocent and never grow. I smiled back at him and continued staring at the bracelet.

"Hey Will did you see my....... Jesus Christ" my mother screamed as she entered the kitchen looking at me dead in the eyes with sadness and fright.

"What?" my father inquired as he turned around looking at my mother, he jumped up with worry seeing her shy away, placed me down on a chair and rushed to see what had scared her.

He brushed her face lovingly wondering and worried giving her reassurance to speak freely.

"Th......tha.... thaaaaat" my mother purred pointing at me as she looked scared at me.

I on the other hand I was so lost in my own world I was watching them embrace each other with love. My father turned his gaze to me and his eyes bulged.

"I....I have to.... go.........make sure she wears that bracelet all the time" he stated hysterically moving away to their room.

I could hear him shuffling in their bedroom. He came back to the kitchen carrying his duffel bag, only to find my mother and me still in one position. He went to her, placed his bag down next to them and touched her face lovingly his eyes watery with a knowing look. I don’t know what was going on but I could sense it was good, my father had a big bag and he looked sad, like wanted to cry sad.

"Melissa.... Melissa" my father mumbled seeking attention from my mother but she was still looking at me with worry and fright I was making me uncomfortable. I wanted to ask but I did not pry.

I never understood what she meant by saying that pointing at me. She turned her gaze to him startled.

"Wha...what is happening William?" my mother asked shortly without giving my father the chance to speak, looking at him and the bag as her eyes filled with more tears understanding a bit.

"Melissa I do not have time to explain. I have to go. I have to see my grandfather...no I need to see him!" my father shuddered as he tried to make my mother understand he had to leave and that he had no time.

"What is happening to our daughter?" my mother continued ignoring his words turning her gaze back at me shuddering at the sight.

I on the other hand was busy looking at my bracelet smiling mischievously sitting on a chair rocking it back and forth with happiness. I was oblivious as to what was happening at that moment. I could see my mother crying demanding for answers and my father trying to tell her he had to go. I thought it was because she was happy he gave me a bracelet. My father turned his head back to me and then to my mother worryingly and skeptically. He moved his face away from me giving my mother a worried look.

"Listen I have to go, NOW!" my father emphasized as a matter of fact, like he was in a rush for something.

"William what is going on?" my mother pleaded confused a bit sobbing silently.

“Daddy, what is happening?” I asked with worry.

“Not now my queen!” he fake smiled at me, I dismissed it and went back to my bracelet.

"I don’t know or should I say I’m not sure yet but I have to find out.... Melissa!...Melissa!... take care of her ok!...make sure she wears that bracelet, and if she does take it off make sure it's not for long. No more than a month" My father half yelled emphasizing his statement whiles picking up his bag, he kissed my mother and went to me as I was still sitting back-facing them playing with new my bracelet.

My mother looked at my father confused still crying her eyes out.

"What do you mean a month, are you not going to be around then.... William what are you saying?" My mother screamed softly but my father ignored her.

"I’m sorry but time is running out" he emphasized ignoring her cries as he approached me and embraced me for a second inhaling sharply.

My mother continued sobbing softly and a tad bit angry and confused looking at my father and me with her palms on her face.

"Daddy" I chipped with enthusiasm but the moment I saw my father’s watery eyes I started to worry.

"Hey my queen.... I need you to take care of your mother for me whiles I'm gone Ok Munchkin?” My father said as he kneeled in front of me, his right palm brushing my face lovingly.

"I thought girls were not susceptible to our family's inheritance and it been what...eons since the last one, why my daughter?” He wondered sniffing brushing my face.

“She has grown so fast yet she is still young" he continued worry written all over his face as he looked at my facial impressions. I was starting to understand that it was about me, I didn’t know what I had done but I kind of knew it was.

"Daddy did I do something wrong?" I asked contemplating starting to sob softly realizing he was leaving because of me.

"No...no...no...my pumpkin. I just need to find my grandfather that is all" my father assured me lovingly removing his gaze.

"Why daddy, but you’re crying and mother too"? I asked about to cry too.

He ignored my question. I could tell it was hard looking at me, not just because of the person I had become so my mother said but because of my sobbing sad face. He always hated seeing me cry and at that moment I could have made him think otherwise. He seemed adamant to go.

“I have to go before they locate us” he said emphasizing his hurry.

"My love...my queen...my moon and the sun...I want you to know that daddy did not mean for all of this. I want you to know that you did not do anything wrong, ok! I want you to know that daddy loves you, he will always love you and look out for you, ALWAYS!..." he emphasized as he kissed me gentle on the cheek rubbing both my hands softly.

He took the bracelet and put it on my wrist, and kissed my hand as my heart beat came down. I hadn’t even realized it was moving fast. He gave me a confused look as he cried some more the moment realization hit him.

"I need to find a way to reverse it, I cannot lose you, I need to, just like my grandfather did with me, I need to!" he cried making a promise to himself not accepting the situation.

"Always wear this, do not ever take it off....Ok!" he said worryingly to me, I just shrugged it off and continued sobbing lightly, me facing the floor with my palms on my face.

"God she is so young though and a girl, why her after all our generation?" he wondered sadly mumbling

Although I couldn’t give him the answers he was looking for, I was a child. To him it happened when he reached his twenty first birthday. I don’t know what but I have heard them talking about him changing when he was at that age.

"How am I to spend time with my family now?” he asked no one but himself confused and angry.

"I have to go now love!" he picked up his bag.

“You’re coming back right, soon!” I asked crying not wanting him to leave.

"Yes honey, yes I am!” he reassured me but his eyes were saying otherwise. I know I was a child back then but I saw it all. He wasn’t coming back anytime soon.

He pulled me with him to my mother who was now sitting on a sofa. He kissed me on the fore head, and placed his hand on my mother’s shoulder for reassurance but she moved away from him angrily, slightly shifting to the left away from him.

"William you said it was over, you said it will not find us, you said we will never have to go through what you went through, I mean she is girl for goodness sake, that’s just impossible and abnormal!" my mother spat angrily standing up moving away from my father.

He tried to hold her hand but she jerked it off crying loudly; she got close to him and started hitting him on his chest screaming angrily....

"You lied to me, you lied to me, I want my life back!" over and over again she continued to scream.

My father tried to hold her close to calm her down but she was adamant on hitting him, he took that as a queue to leave.

"It is better they hate me and never look for me that them holding on to hope that may never come" he softly said solemnly whilst moving towards the door. He looked at me one last time as I was making my way to embrace my mother.

"I hope they can live together happily with this, maybe without me!" he mumbled shaking his head and wiping away the tears on his face as he disappeared after closing the door, leaving them crying.

After hearing his words both me and my mother cried so hard I’m sure the neighbors heard.

“William….dad” both me and my mother yelled crying.

He never wanted to leave but it looked like he had to.

"Times of darkness are coming soon; God give her strength because the worst is yet to come!" he mumbled his last words as he looked up at the sky saying a silent prayer. He left not looking back leaving his car on the driveway and everything he ever loved behind. I ran after him to the street but he was nowhere to be found. It was like he was taken by something. I gave up and went back inside the house sobbing silently.

He left us crying and me confused of what he meant by his prayer.

INSIDE THE HOUSE....

"Mommy" I cried to my mother as I tried to embrace her, seeing her cry too.

"Do not touch me you abomination, darkness, home wrecker" she spat giving me names angrily moving away from me, pushing me along the way as she went to her room.

"...and do not follow me" she continued as she spat with so much venom in her voice giving me one last deadly yet skeptical look with so much resentment.

My family was right. “you will never be happy in your entire life” I heard her mumble.

"Okay…" I muttered shyly with a little bit of hiccup and went to my room too, sobbing silently, and that was the last time I experienced love in my life.

I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I just sat there on my room and cried for days. Sadly that was the beginning of my misery.

SEVEN MONTHS LATER AFTER MY FATHER'S DISSAPEARANCE....

It had been a month since Michael moved in with us. He wasn't the father I had hoped for but he was loving; so I thought. I had been in my room playing alone as usual. It had been a routine I was used to, something I was comfortable with other than my mother constantly cursing and ignoring me like I was a disease. Sometimes I would lay down facing the roof, looking up at the stars my father painted for me on my room ceiling, wondering why he really he left us. I would sometimes think it was my fault but remembering my father's words like it was yesterday giving me hope, and I was able to ignore what my mother’s rants about me being the home wrecker. I laid there thinking about my mother’s words and the misery I was facing.

"It is your fault your father left me" my mother would say furiously. "Her", it was all "her" what about me! Wasn’t I part of the family, I mean he left me too!

Michael wasn't at all that bad, he would make my mother happy by bringing her flowers but that’s all he was good at, no groceries nor safety just a broken home. They would sometimes get lost in their conversations if not arguing or having meaningless sex, ignore me; and when I tried to join in my mother would just hush me telling me to go to sleep, full or hungry she didn’t care.

Now come to think of it, it was better than the days when she would be alone, no Michael around. She would get crossed over nothing, I would ignore her, do not bother her with even a slightest conversation but she would sometimes find reason to beat me up.

There was this onetime I tried interacting with her but she just ignored me like I had said nothing, not even when it was time for dinner. She sometimes called me once for dinner, either I heard or not it was not a problem to her. I did not dare go to the kitchen for food if she did not call me, and if I did not hear whiles she called, I would stay in my room until morning comes for school. It was a routine I knew all too well and it never phased me, well at least I had a friend around the neighborhood I could visit to go eat from back from school.

The first time I went into the kitchen to eat after she had called me an hour before and I did not hear her; I got beaten up so bad I had to sleep with a hungry stomach and a throbbing body. Although, truthfully sometimes I would just intentionally ignore her, just so I do not deal with her attitude and mood swings.

"Maxine...."my mother shrieked from the kitchen.

I came to the kitchen after being called by her only to find her standing in the kitchen in-front of Michael, holding hands with him and making faces. I squirmed at the sight thinking about my father.

'I wish he was my father' I gave Michael a glare.

"Tomorrow I am going to work; you will be left alone with Michael. I want you to listen and take all instructions from him" my mother alleged not giving me the chance to speak or disapprove.

I mean it had been like that ever since my father left and I was comfortable ignoring her although this time I wanted to protest, I don’t know why but I felt like rebelling. She saw my disapproving look and ordered harshly.

"Take instruction and do not argue with me" she spat with ignorance and spite, and if I were to disapprove further then it was going to be the death of me.

Sometimes if I was able to land a word she would hit me, it was like I had to act like a slave, take orders, nod and go do them nothing more nothing less. It was boring for me but better that being beaten for nothing. For instance, saying I do not know about something that went wrong or saying I had homework.

Michael shifted his gaze from my mother to me, and gave a wicked smile. I wondered what it meant but I shook the thought and went back to my room. As I was about to open the door I heard my mother muttering...

"Be careful of her" she warned Michael.

"Why would I need to be careful with her" Michael obliviously asked laughing at my mother's warning.

"Argh just be ok! She’s weird" she stated boringly.

I got inside my room and slept waiting for tomorrow. I couldn't wait for a day off, a day where I was away from my mother, a night without her constant deadly stares and resentment. Morning came, I went to school leaving my mother asleep as always. School wasn’t much because it was our first day back. We only prepared our classes and chilled around until it was noon, they had given us a half day off and we were all happy about it. I went to my friends place until it was late around five, and I went home. When I came back I found Michael sitting in the kitchen reading a newspaper, he turned his gaze to me when he saw me appearing from the door and smiled mischievously.

"You're back" he said with a lot of interest. I learned to ignore his stupid remarks.

"How was school?" he vigorously continued to annoy me more.

Remembering how my father would ask me about my day at school, it pissed me off to the core, and the way Michael was acting; like a father figure to me, it filled me with so much hatred I wanted to curl up and cry. I wanted my father back not a father figure.

My mind started to go down memory lane remembering the last day I saw him; my eyes started to get watery, my heart ponded faster than normal. I decided I had had enough of him so I dashed into my room without uttering any words or showing any interest or remorse. Michael looked at me confused.

"Hey I am speaking to you" he shouted as he stood up following me.

I ignored him and treaded faster but was not fast enough, he got into my room pushing me with the door and sat down with me when he saw me sitting on my bed crying. He looked at me with no emotion.

"Hey...hey hush now child I'm here for you" he sarcastically said acting like he cared one bit as he moved to embrace me but not before I moved away from him.

I felt angry and threatened, I hated having him around; worse him touching me.

"You're not my father!" I spat crying softly but Michael was now starting to turn red with anger. He had anger issues. If you did not do as he pleased, he would snap and I knew I had poked a lion on its den.

"Here I was thinking me and you will be good friends" he stood up grabbing me harshly by my hand.

"Kids like you need discipline!" he muttered with venom as he took out his belt like I had done something wrong.

I shrieked at his grip, trying to pull away but it was no use. Michael left my hand and thrashed my room angrily giving me a death glare.

"I have been nice to you all this while and now you just made me angry" he got a hold of me and tossed me on my bed.

He dragged me by my foot. I on the other hand I was trying so hard to retrieve my foot and not to shriek too much. I knew he loved that I was affected by him but I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, although it was no use I just kept struggling. He saw this and started hitting me with his belt over and over everywhere, not caring where it landed. I cried and begged for mercy but he continued, he was so ruthless and aggressive. I was so beat up and hurting I couldn't move anymore. Seeing that he was not getting any reaction from me anymore he tossed the belt aside and started hitting me with his fists. I cried some more the moment his hands met my face trying to move away but he dragged me with my foot, and when I tried moving away more I ended up falling hard on the floor. As I was trying to stand up Michael pinned me down with his foot. He kicked me four times on my stomach, I started coughing blood.

"You peace of crap...." he muttered with rage out of breath. He huffed whiles moving around the room, he looked at my unmoving body that was laying on the floor breathing hard, crying lightly and sweating he shook his head looking around the room.

He looked at me with so much spite, kicked me again on the stomach gaining little whines for me as I was weak and couldn't move.

"Please Michael I’m sorry" I tried begging, my pain was too much; raising my head but only gaining another kick on her chest.

It felt like I couldn't breathe, the world went hazy as I saw him grinning mischievously.

"I am going to teach you a lesson you, pathetic loser, I want you to answer when spoken to, do as elders say" Michael kneeled down next to me.

I was so tired and hurting I couldn't see clearly, my eyes were getting hazier with tears and blood from Michaels fists. He dragged my body close to him, but I cried against it begging him to stop. I tried pushing him away but he stood his ground.

"Oh you still have power left in you!" he hit me on the face with a fist. At that time I just lost consciousness, it was too much for my little body.

What followed after, I don't know. I was woken up the next morning by my mother's voice calling out for me to come eat.

"Maxine food!" my mother shrieked.

How I survived that I don’t know. I tried standing up but I felt pain all over my body. I tried standing up again but only to be met by another shockwave of pain down on my private area. I looked at where the pain was coming from and saw lots of blood on the floor. I sobbed silently not wanting to alarm my mother, I mean she was obviously going to think I started it all. I tried standing up, picking my clothes along the way and moved around the room.

My room was so messed up it was like there was a house robbery. I shook my head and started fixing it. I cleaned the blood on the floor and went to the bathroom to take a shower. I cried softly as water dripped down my hurting body. I looked at myself in the mirror and cried at the sight. I noticed an excruciating blue eye where Michael hit me last night, a bruised lip, and a huge lump on my head. I took out some make up I had stolen long ago from my mother’s room and applied it on my face. I looked at my stomach and saw purple bruises. I thought of telling my mother but I feared the worst she could do to me. I started crying softly feeling sorry for myself washing myself slowly making sure I do not hurt myself.

'What did I do to deserve this?' I wondered as I finished bathing still sobbing softly.

As I was just about to get out of the bathroom I heard small mumbling in my room.

'Michael, oh no!' the thought of him brought terror.

I did not know he could be this bad. Michael opened the bathroom uninvited, looked at me dead in the eyes like he didn't remember nor see what he did to me. I looked at him shyly and scared, ready for I thought he was there to finish me off.

"I am taking you to school, be ready in twenty minutes. Understand!" he commanded with content and spite.

‘I wish you could die’ I shook my head looking at his reaction when he was looking at me disgustingly. It was scary.

"Yes" I said softly knowing very well I did not want to do anything to piss him off.

He left me standing there in the bathroom covering myself shying away from him. The moment he got out I dashed out hurryingly scared he might come back. I swiftly searched for clothes I could wear that could hide my whole scars. I wore the clothes so fast scared of what he might do if I were to be late, without applying lotion. I winced from time to time but I had to suck it up. I packed my books and left the room, as it was already seventeen minutes after.

‘Yes I was smart but still fragile’

"Maxine...let’s go!" Michael shouted in the sitting room demandingly.

‘It’s only been eighteen minutes. Does he even know time?’

"I'm here" I came running out of breath fearing the worst.

For some reason my body was starting to heal, I could feel my hurt lessening. I was glad I did not want my mother finding out nor Michael, I'm sure he would beat me just for that.

"You two are getting along very well, I should leave you both more often" my mother chimed fake smiling at Michael and not acknowledging me. It was a smile I have grown to dismiss. She herself wasn’t happy. I don’t know why she stayed with him this long, I guess she needed validation.

In my time during my father’s absence, I was left alone. Well not literary but I had no one to confide in and no one to groom me. No one to tell me what’s what. As I grew I learned a lot of things about people, especially my mother. She was stubborn to the point that she couldn’t tell if someone was hurting. She was so oblivious and thick headed she thought her way was the way. She said she didn’t have time, her worries for work were enough for her to be worried about me.

In this instance I learned that people especially the ones around us are the life we live. Whatever life one lives, someone has lived it somewhere, and if you look close enough you could tell their mistakes and achievements. As I grew I looked at my mother’s life, at that moment not just hers, her boyfriend, anyone actually whom I came in contact with. I analyzed their life like a puzzle. As I did I learned to shape my own life. By looking at them I finally dictated how I wanted my life to go. It wasn’t easy but I told myself only ignorant people don’t see what’s right in front of them. I got to see things people didn’t see, even their path to a downfall. And me staying where I wasn’t wanted was definitely going to be my downfall. As I looked at my mother I wondered what she was thinking about allowing Michael to stay. I mean he has beaten her more than her parents did I’m sure.

‘Do some people think before they do something or they just dive in and then cry later expecting we sympathize with them? It was pathetic really’ I wondered as I looked at my mother’s unhappiness hating every moment of it.

‘It was my torment too’

Yes I wasn’t perfect and I made my fair share of mistakes, I was still young and learning but I owned them, I stood up to them, I fixed them. I always dreamt of a better version of me, and every day I was fighting for that person to win.

‘I mean life is clear. Do not expect to be happy or succeed at someone’s expense. I mean people do them, what pleases them. Just as Michael is. So if she chooses to torture herself, well she is bound to be unhappy, and she shouldn’t blame anyone for her choices; and definitely do not expect others to put themselves in her shoes or put her first, because I mean she chose this guy. He was clearly the biggest mistake she had ever made, and she thinks I’m the biggest mistake. Such mediocre wisdom she’s got. Mother is just too stubborn to realize what is important. Her, and me. I mean I am dying here! This man of yours is doing unspeakable things to me’ I thought about to cry. I wanted to yell at her, scream at her stubborn mind, but I thought it was no use.

I turned and looked at them both. I wanted to cry, get out of their grip but I was still young.

‘Even if I run, where will I go, where will I sleep, what will I eat?’ I internally cried.

‘He might kill me if I do, worse kill us both’ I looked at Michael.

I mean my mother thinks its punishment for falling in love with my father that she got Michael.

‘Woman you let this nigga stay, nobody forced you. We are suffering because of a choice you made’ I have never boiled up this much. I wanted to run and never look back. Haul out to the moon and die if I had to live another day with them.

“Let’s go” Michael muttered making me hiss at the pain in my hand he was causing. I wanted to scream at her, cry out for help or better yet hit her to get her senses back, but the look I got from Michael when he saw my hesitation for leaving told me otherwise.

"She is obedient now" Michael stated as my mother went up to kiss Michael who was holding my hand a little too hard ready to drag me out of the house.

'You both deserve each other' hate was starting to embrace me, I felt nothing but disgust and resentment. I wanted nothing but my father back.

We went out together with him still holding my hand roughly but when we got outside he retrieved his hand from me like I was a plague, he wiped it on my hoody and left to get into his car.

I wanted to cry, I felt too much at that time but held my composure; got into the car with him and sat like a lost puppy looking out in the window. I had my hoody fastened tight on me and the hat around my head hiding the lump on it. My face was ok; you could not tell that I had a blue eye and luckily I wasn’t that much beaten

'Or was I? I don't know'.

Michael drove in silence, when we reached my school he locked the doors and turned his gaze deadly to me.

'Please, please, not right now!' I prayed begging as I thinking of the worst but to my surprise he just shrugged his shoulders and got really close to my face in a threatening manner.

"If you tell anyone what happened I will leave your mother and kill you, no one will ever find or look for your body. Your mother will be so miserable she will hate you even in your dead state" he warned harshly brushing the strands of my hair deceitfully.

I cringed a bit as I nodded and got out of the car a bit hasty the moment he freed me, ready to at least enjoy the day especially with my favorite teacher Miss Johnson.

"Miss Johnson is gone!" I heard one of my classmates whistle walking passing them.

The moment those words hit me I felt like crying so badly and call out to my father to save me, but he wasn’t there and I hated that I hated him, I hated that he wasn’t around to save me from Michael. It was like he totally forgot about us about me.

I composed myself. I did not want my friends asking and spreading stories about Michael that could kill me, and him leaving my mother lonely.

'Who is going to be my friend now, who will I talk to' tears threatened to escape.

I rushed and whipped them away before people started asking why I was crying. I turned around and saw Michael's car still on the driveway, I felt a pang of detest and terror as I saw him raising his hand waving goodbye like a loving father. I waved back scared of what he might do back at home or to me now if I didn't. I turned around looking at the school ready to be away from him. I shook my head removing all bad thoughts and mastered a smile as my friends approached me with smiles and giggles. I quivered as I thought about the life ahead of me, the life with Michael and mother and without Miss Johnson and my father. The only people who at least cared. She was gone, I hated it, and I hated her too for leaving me like my father did, she did not even say. At this time I decided to try and forget, act like I enjoyed spending time with my friends.

After months of silence, Michael invaded me again, taking advantage of the fact that he was in charge of me now. He would harass me four or five times a year.

Until one good day after four long years of suffering from Michael, new athletics were introduced at my school. It was like God had heard my prayers. I had always wanted to fight Michael off but I was weak and inexperienced. The school introduced karate, and I jumped at the opportunity. I was fifteen but ready to take on the world hence forth today after a long year I am a black belt. Of course my mother and Michael didn't know about my sport. I mean they were so self-engrossed they didn't care if I came back home or not. I would sometimes sleep at my friends place after practice just to run away from Michael and not to deal with my mother.

PRESENT DAY....

"Could this day life get any better" I muttered to myself waiting for slumber to take me.

I sat up. Huffing I looked around. I needed something that could distract my mind. The emotions I was going through were too heavy on me. I wanted to curl up and die, a day just so I forget. Instead, my mind went on a race of its own.

I’m troubled.

Can you tell?

I hide it so well,

I smile my mind run miles,

I speak no words my energy’s thought…

I’m troubled.

Can you see?

My eyes wonder every path,

My mind has wondered about, I wonder……’

‘No, no, no. I cannot do this to myself. The moment I allow this thoughts, this poem conversion of mine to go on, I will go deeper. I need to stop thinking’

So I had this problem, this tendency of seeing everything and anything analytically, and I tend to put it in a poem manner. It was a habit I couldn’t stop. Every time I was faced with something I would start analyzing it up until it becomes a poem. The moment it becomes a poem, I start understanding the situation better, then I become overwhelmed.

Growing up alone, well not alone, but growing up with no one to talk to, turn to with my problems, it caused me to stay more in my mind than I could wish.

Every time I was always analyzing things, especially how people thought. I mean I wanted to understand what I did wrong to them. To Michael and my mother.

My mother’s emotional absence caused such void that made me wonder what was on her mind, what was her next move, for everything she did or decided, because I mean, we never talked about anything pertaining my life or hers for that matter. She was just this shell that expected I do right all the time. The emotions, what internal battles I was going through, well let’s just say it didn’t even click to her that it was important to talk about them. I don’t even think she thought I had them.

I’m sure she thought I was this child that wanted to rebel and do what I wanted. Yes she was fighting her battles but I was young, I needed her. I needed to be groomed.

It wasn’t my fault nor hers thought because with the way she grew up, during her time, what I understood was that they never talked about their feelings with their parents. It was either you do right or when you do wrong you get beaten, that was their way of communication. So her and I not talking about feelings, I kind of understood, but I still believed she could have taken a different path. I mean she saw how much I was suffering, or so I thought; she could have just looked at what went wrong when they groomed because I mean she wasn’t perfect nor was she a parent to me; she should have seen that and try to fix but instead she ignored the fact that we had no communication at all and went on with her life. She just expected I do right and when I did wrong, well you know what followed. Feelings didn’t matter, thus causing me to become the person I am today. Always, or should I say almost, I’m mostly quiet. Ninety percent of the time I’m in my head. I felt it worked better, I was better. I felt I had someone to talk to, someone who understood what I was going through.

Thinking about life and people well that got to me good. I did it even when I didn’t want to. I would start examining people around me just for the sake of making sure I act accordingly around them. I guess the fear of not having anyone was still in me. In as much as I loved being alone most of the time I did not mind being amongst people. I guess I wanted to feel something, love, needed, well I will say at first it was exhausting but since I had grown to an environment where I couldn’t talk and thinking was all I did well it got to me and it got easier. I would think about their actions, feel their emotions, but it would take a toll on me. Switching emotions was hard but that got easier too, I ended up learning to ignore other’s emotions although sometimes I would get lost in their feelings in a way that it would end up changing my whole day. I was one who wanted to understand what I did wrong that caused them to act the way they acted around me.

It got to a point where I started monitoring emotions in general. I would watch and learn what causes them to act the way they act. I guess I didn’t know how to feel certain emotions. I guess I was just depicting so I could blend in and not appear like a weirdo.

‘So you understand why I am tired right now, I mean I have been trying to sleep for I don’t know how long now! And the moment I start thinking about life and well, people because life is people I am ready to hit that sack. Talk about a hypocritical mind' I thought to myself as I drifted off.

Tiredly, I was soon engulfed by slumber that came with confusion.

I slept in no more than five minutes after; though I had been having sleeping problems from when I was eleven. At that time, it was understandable, it had been hard for me to sleep, with all the things I was going through at home and at school.

Oh yeah, school life gradually changed. I mean my favorite teacher was gone, and I found out that all those kids that had befriended me were only friends because I was liked by our teacher, and well they reaped benefits from knowing me at that time. Benefits like candy and good reputation of course with a little bit of attention. I mean who could have known at that time kids noticed all that.

'Dump kids'

I seriously hated Miss Johnson for leaving.

My father on the other hand, that was a long closed chapter I did not want to read into it anymore.

Whilst I was asleep my mind wasn't. I was dreaming of happy moments, yes I would have bad moments but it wasn’t like before. I had finally found peace, well half peace so to say. My body drifted off to fairyland, a dream I wouldn't want to remember but had to for it was the day of my accomplishment, a day my tormenters got their payment. It was a day of victory, yet another trouble rose up after. Trouble unknown I called it. I never understood that after part and I guess that is why I had to have that dream.

ONE YEAR AGO: THE DREAM...

I came back home from school and found that my mother had gone to work for a night shift. I found myself left with Michael again. It was unpleasant but I had to deal with it. I got inside the house late that day. It was a known too well routine for me but Michael didn't find it soothing at all, actually he got enraged when he didn't see me around.

"Where have you been?" he asked clearly agitated the moment I got inside the house like he had been waiting for me.

'Talk about a typical pedophile creep' I rolled my eyes as I dismissed his outrage.

I had found peace in knowing that I will be better and strong one day. I mean I was used to ignoring him and him getting furious and ending up doing nothing. Of course he could have done something but I wouldn't let him. As soon as I reached my room I would just leave using the window. It was a routine he knew all too well and it infuriated him. He would get furious, after a monologue between him, and well me who always shrugged him off without saying anything. He would wait for my mother to go to sleep before going to my room, but only to find it empty. I would sometimes disappear for a whole month just to stay away and when I did come I wouldn’t sleep there, I would leave at night and come back very early in the morning. It was getting hard for him to get a hold of me. At first it was hard; I had to come back home since I was still young, but when I reached fifteen I started running away. It was hurting too much, he was getting used to it and he liked it but it killed me more, so I had to do something.

I looked at Michael like he had grown another head. I felt agitated, matching his feelings. I mean why did he care?

'Oh yeah pedophile!'

I rummaged around the sitting room making my way to my bedroom ignoring him further. Michael was so furious that he wasn't getting any response from me. I kept an open eye on him, I knew him all too well to relax if I ignored him. His face turned pale for a colored, and his ears red as blood. When I saw this, I rolled my eyes and continued walking.

However, today he did not wait, he was tired of being played. He saw me ignoring him approaching my room, he took this as a queue to lock the door downstairs and follow me. I got in my room, I had my school bag on my bed ready to pack my needed books and leave but something told me to stay.

I sat on the edge of the bed listening to my instincts and waited. I didn't know what could happen but I was tired of sleeping at the school gym benches, at my friends place or in the sewers when my friend’s father was around.

'Damn fathers sometimes!’

Whiles I was sitting thinking, Michael got into my room less than five minutes I had left him.

'Talk about a real pedophile, cant he get a life, isn’t my mother not satisfying him enough?'

I scrunched up my nose getting angrier and skeptical by the moment, regretting my whole decision already. I looked at him standing by the door looking surprised, I mean he didn't think he was going to find me in, waiting for that matter. It was something new for him and it did not sit well in his stomach I could see it; he was fidgeting and curious. I gave him a serious look, he started shifting his gaze around my room, but me.

'What is he looking for?' I looked at the same places he was. Isn't he here for the same thing he always comes for, 'I am so tired of his weirdness'.

"Your room needs cleaning" he voiced out with a mixture of anger and uncertainty, losing his cool.

'Well look what the cat dragged in. MY MOTHER!' I shook my head looking at him dead in the eyes.

'Ok this is weird even for me too’

I stood up about to go to my bathroom, I don’t know why but I just moved about fixing things that didn’t need fixing, maybe it was because of my nerves or his presence.

"I’m speaking to you" he muttered with too much authority and vile in his mouth. I turned to him agitated. I looked at him up and down.

'Is he seriously here to lecture me about my room'.

"What you want Michael?" I asked bored with the same but stern voice like he had been doing acting like he was talking to a child, which shocked both Michael and me.

'You go girl'.

I saw Michaels face change, he got closer. I held my breath waiting for his response.

'I probably shouldn't have said that'

"OH! So you’ve got balls now! I see" he muttered sarcastically moving back to my door he closed and locked it.

'There we go again. Man why did I say that?' I regretted my words, fearing the worst.

I asked myself repeatedly ‘Should I run?’ fearing the worst that was about to happen as I moved backwards in terror. I looked at him as he moved closer to me plastering an evil grin. He was enjoying every moment of my squirming, he saw that I was still scared of him. He got up-close to me and grabbed my face harshly holding it with my chin as he moved his face to my ear.

"Look who has grown now, you don’t have anything to say now do you?" His vile words sent chills down my body. I wanted to run, to disappear but sadly I was still there.

"How old are you now?"

He continued looking at me dead in the eyes and sizing me up and down, I kept my cool although I wanted to jump out of the window, run and never look back. We were almost the same height now, I was grown. I sized him up and down too, not removing his hand. I was waiting for him to start his assault but he just went on rambling about useless things.

"Oh yeah you're sixteen now. Sooo! The boys have told you you have grown now, well to me you're still just a scared little demon bitch" he purred slowly moving his tongue from my chin my ear.

'Gross' I quivered and tried to loosen his grip but it only got harder on my chin that was starting to hurt.

"I am going to teach you a lesson for disrespecting your elders, me of course!" he whispered with narcissism in his voice pointing to himself.

I started getting scared, my legs were getting weaker ready to give in. I wanted to kneel down and beg for mercy but his grip was a little too strong.

"…and I am going to punish you for running from me this whole year" he continued smirking devilishly making sure that I see his smirk as he moved his hands up my thigh

'No, no no' and just as he was about to reach my torso something broke in me. I hit his hand so hard he turned red in a split second.

"You, peace of shit..." Michael roared as he back slapped me so firm I fell on my bed.

I was getting scared and annoyed, I had been more crossed before but that day my anger was different. I tried standing up not wanting to give him the opportunity to get on top of me but I was late he beat me to it. He jumped on top of me and suppressed my mouth that was about to shriek although his gag wasn't in the right position, he had closed my mouth and nose I couldn't breathe. I tried to shake him off but his grip was firm, it was either he was oblivious of my squirming or he didn't care, but surely it was the last reason.

My mind was starting to get fuzzy, and he took that as an opportunity to unbuckle my belt, trying to loosen my jeans. I was about to black out when my mind drifted off to my trainer's lessons.

'Do not let them win, no matter how much you think you cannot fight, at least do something'.

I opened my eyes and realized what he was doing, at that point it was like my body was electrified, I opened up my eyes that had always been shut the whole time I was waiting for impact and jolted up lifting him with me. I don’t know where I took that energy from but yeah I lifted him up with my body. Michael flew across the room and was thrown into my computer table. I saw that as an opportunity and stood up waiting for him to stand up and pursue me. My mind was still fuzzy though.

He screamed as his head hit the table of the computer.

"What the fuck...? You peace of gabbage now I am angry" he stood up hastily.

I wasn't sure what was going to happen next but I was ready. I was fuming and ready for Michael's roguish ways.

"Well come on" I beckoned not knowing where I got the courage from but ready to fight.

My mind was still fuzzy from Michael's grip but I was regaining my strength.

'You're stronger than this' a voice said in my head, but of course I doubted myself.

Michael stood up, he got closer to me with his fists balled up. I looked at them and wondered.

'When did it get so real, fuck I’m am goner!' I was losing hope.

Michael pounced at me with his right fist, but I caught it with my left hand, and I punched him so hard his whole body made a thud whiles hitting the floor.

'What the......' I was confused as to how I had that much of power all of a sudden.

I looked at Michael who was now confused, stunned and violent, and then to my right hand confused and surprised.

'Damn!' smiling and praising myself I dwelled on the feeling.

However, in an instant my mind realized something missing in my hand 'my bracelet; dad!' my thoughts got scrambled up as I speculated, and I got lost wondering where it was.

"Looking for this!" Michael's malice voice roared, I guess he got what I was looking for before I could.

'Shit!' I turned catching his attention only to realize he was throwing the bracelet through the window.

'NO!' he smirked with a bloody nose.

My eyes bulged and got watery, anger engulfed me as I comprehended what he just did.

"Fuck you Michael!" I screamed miserably moving towards the window fast, after my bracelet.

"Daddy is not here!" he dragged his words moving closer to me.

My eyes were bulged up looking at where Michael threw the bracelet.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck'

I didn't care what he was saying, I wanted my bracelet back, I wanted my father back, that was the only thing he left me with.

"You thought I didn't know, oh please your mother talks in her sleep, stupid woman!" he said with too much spite and content to his words.

Realizing what Michael said I turned my face around slowly, fuming illuminating so much annoyance, but Michael did not give me the opportunity to say anything coherent, he hit me so hard in the stomach I fell on my knees clutching it and gasping for air. He took this as an opportunity and kicked me on the face. I fell down still clutching my stomach crying trying to move to the window my mind back to my now probably lost bracelet to get it.

My mind was fuzzy and I was pissed off, I wanted to kill him and get my bracelet back but all it did was replaying all last moments I shared with my father. Michael continued to kick me muttering all dreadful words he could think of, but to his surprise none had the effect he wanted from me. I just kept moving closer to the window. Michael dragged me back to the center of the room agitated at my weird action with less responses and he kneeled down grabbing me by my collar shirt. I tried prying myself off of him but he started pouncing on me with his fist furiously and hurriedly. I wasn't even fighting him back anymore, I wanted to get to my bracelet, there was blood on the floor, my face was filled with spilled blood, I was adamant on getting my bracelet back. I couldn't think nor feel what was happening. I just stayed there trying to move towards the window like a dog hit by a car in the middle of the road trying to move to the other side.

"You, shameless peace of trash that William and Melissa made a mistake on, I will......" Michael didn't get to finish his sentence.

'Did he just...' The moment I heard him muttering my parent's names, especially my fathers, it was like a jolt went through my body. My eyes shone all black, I saw only blood when looking at Michael.

'You do not get to say their names, his name'. I held his head haltingly, roughly hitting it against the floor board’s whiles standing up slowly breathing hard gaining my strength. Him saying his name got me so pissed off I needed to end him. I wanted him to undo saying his name.

"Lucky bastard" he shrieked as he stood up slowly touching his hit side head.

“I like you now, you give out a good fight, but not enough” he continued sarcastically rubbing his head.

He looked at me with so much rage I moved closer to him, but that changed drastically at the sight I possessed, I caused his body to tremble violently, frightened he moved further away from me.

'Get away from me you freak, what are you?' I could hear him scream but his mouth wasn’t moving. I did not pay attention though, I don’t know what scared him about me. He had the same look my mother had when she saw me the day my father gave me the bracelet.

He kept rambling out of breath, I turned around and there was a broken mirror on my table I saw one of my eyes, they were crescent black, like the white part wasn't there anymore but black and round rings of yellow and red like they were in flames.

‘What in the hell?’ I lifted my hand to touch my face but my arms were filled with veins that seemed to be growing and about to pop it started to scare me too.

I wasn’t thinking clearly, it was like something took over me.

'What am I? We are We! I head a voice' someone replied.

“Stop talking!” I yelled at Michael who was still standing looking at me weirdly.

My chest heaved up and down I was scared of what was happening. Michael looked like he was seeing a ghost, and I swear I felt like my height was growing. I was scared of myself too, I didn’t know if I was hallucinating or it was real. He stood up ready to pounce at me, I on the other hand was busy imagining things although I took his right hand that was making its way to my face easily like I anticipated his move and crushed it with my own hand that looked bigger than his like a wet sponge.

‘Enough!’ a voice yelled making me cringe.

Thinking it was Michael, I tuned to him. It was like I wasn't me anymore. It was like I wasn’t in control. I lost all senses and something took over. I started hitting Michael so hard he went flying across the room, he shrieked with pain as his body hit the walls on my room. As he was trying to stand up clutching his ribs that looked like they hurt like hell, I approached hastily not aware of my actions anymore, not giving him the time to regain his strength. I held him by his neck and lifted him up like a piece of paper placing his back against the wall. Michael's eyes bulged out, his legs were dangling, his hands clutching mine trying to pry it away, but it was no use, I was too strong, he was too weak.

'What the hell?' he coughed out blood still rambling as he wriggled around trying to be free.

I did not pry but hit his back against the wall again still holding him up by his neck gaining a yelp from him. Michael started turning red, his face was going pale, he couldn't breathe I could tell for he was grasping for air.

Without emotion I hit him on the stomach so hard I'm sure he felt the world closing in on him. He was yelping, grasping for air trying to loosen my grip but I wasn’t moving one bit. I was enjoying it a little too much. I looked at him, studying him like I was holding up an animal in the lab studying its body size and moves. He clutched my neck trying to gag me back but to his surprise it was like he just pissed me off more, in fact nothing was happening just that I hated him prying on me.

I punched him on his stomach again and his side face so fast he didn't get the chance to fathom what was happening. All the time when I was hitting him I didn't say anything; it was like everything stood still. It was like I was doing a task I was supposed to do with no time left but with care and deadline. I was calm but fierce, and it scared Michael to the core but he was still fighting to get a chance to pounce on me back. Sadly, it didn't happen. And yes I still had him held up like and dangling mice. He showed loathing that it seemed like nothing was hurting me anymore, I could sense his agitation. He tried hitting me but it was like he was hitting a punching bag, like literary I couldn’t feel a thing, I just saw him wincing at his hand it might have broken or something. I looked at him dead in the eyes, I felt his soul being threatened like he was scared of death, he shivered. Unaware and unsatisfied I tossed him like an exercise book across the room, he went flying to hit my mattress. I didn’t have time for him, I was kind of realizing what was happening.

'Lucky bastard' something said it or I said it I don’t know I was too busy to notice.

"Ouchh" Michael yelped the moment his body hit against the mattress's corner; well not that lucky I winced for him.

Trying to stand up so fast, he saw my bat next to my bed, he took it and went flying to hit me. Well he got the chance and hit me on my right arm, sadly for him it was without any effect. I looked at it and didn't flinch I just turned my gaze back at him, he was now scared I could hear his heartbeat, he was about to pee his pants.

"What the fuck......what in the devil's name are y......"I was bored I wanted to continue and play with him, since he wanted to play more. He was about to finish his sentence when I moved up to him and back slapped him so hard I heard his teeth's undoing I’m sure he felt it too, he went flying across the room.

When he turned his gaze back at me he saw me standing hovering him

'How did she?...' I heard him complain.

I just didn’t let him finish his sentence. I wasn’t in the mood. I lifted him up by his shirt and threw him he went flying through the window like my bracelet.

“Well would you look at that, follow it I'm coming, I’ll take the steps though!” I chuckled realizing the irony.

I wasn’t myself anymore. I could feel myself hiding in a dark corner, there was this figment in me that was in charge now.

I head a thud of him falling outside. Well to me little but nothing was registering on my mind, I just kept walking making my way outside to finish him off. When he saw me approaching with so much determination, he was devastated I could tell, he wanted to run but he couldn’t move; he looked like he was hurt really bad. He started squealing like a hurt puppy I just shook my head and continued moving closer to him. I wasn’t done, not with all the years if suffering.

‘He has done, he has taken so much from us’ I heard the voice again. I did not dwell on it much I just kept walking towards him.

"Maxine stop!” he yelled but I was approaching with no slight remorse, and every stride I took to him it looked like it felt like his death sentence. I could tell he was flinching in every stride I took.

"Maxine please stop.. I’m sorry, I’m sorry for everything" he cried trying to apologize but to his dismay it wasn't working.

‘He was sorry, he was sorry? He wasn’t sorry’

I was reliving all those moments he tormented me, all those moments I slept out because of him. I kept remembering the day I was sleeping in the sewers whilst it was raining. I remember getting really sick that time because of the cold. I remember telling my mother about it but she dismissed me by saying you know where the hospital is. He just laughed it off. It was nice then when he shredded my clothes night after night invading me. I remember the way he beat my mother so bad; one time she slept in because of his beatings, a whole week with him going into my room day after day. I wanted him to disappear but I wanted to make him feel what I was feeling too.

He was shrieking, moving scared backwards away from me. I saw him look down, disturbed I followed his gaze, I got next to him in a spilt second studying his act. He looked at the grass his eyes watering. I saw him lift up my bracelet.

'My bracelet!'

He took it. That got me really angry, I wanted nothing but to bash his head in a stone and silence him.

'You still wanna play? Cool, let’s play!' I thought as he turned slowly to me scared, only to realize I had already gotten a hold on him.

I lifted him up and was about to pounce at him when I realized him extending the bracelet to me like it was a ticket to save him.

I looked at it him scared shitless.

'Good boy' I roughly retrieved it and threw him across the grass, and him hitting the outside chairs.

He yelped some more and waited for the next impact but there was none. It was like he had found life I saw him relieved. He looked up shaken and saw I was looking at him with so much spite, but got relieved I wasn’t going to hit him anymore.

"Your...your...eyes...are..." he never finished his sentence for I asked him with a stern voice getting closer to him.

"What about them?" I slowly dragged my words in a stern voice like he did with me the first time he threatened me as I fastened my bracelet around my hand.

"No....nothing..."Michael quivered fearing the worst.

I could feel myself calming down. I dropped down like a sack, got unconscious for which felt like forever. I woke up with a pang of pain all over my body. I looked up only to see Michael trashed with blood all over his shirt.

I studied his face and wondered what happened to him, like yeah I probably did rough him up a bit but that is just overrated.

'I’m sure it must have been the fall, yeah it was the fall' I reassured myself remembering him falling of the window. I mean he was bit up so bad and shrieking like a child.

“Ohk man don’t exaggerate! Geez, we fought and I don’t know but next thing you fell out the window and that was it!” I got closer to him but he moved backwards squealing like a hurt puppy.

'Seriously?’ I decided to let him be, he was really acting weird.

‘Well at least I got my bracelet back’ I thought as I skipped off happily to the house like nothing happened forgetting everything in an instant.

“What the f.... what just happened. I am going to kill her” I swear I heard him say, I turned around giving him one deadly look.

'I swear I will get you soon enough' I don’t know if I was hallucinating but his lips were not moving but I heard him speaking.

‘What just happened’ I felt a pang of relief as I entered my room finding it thrashed out.

‘Michael!’ I moved about fixing it.

‘Tell me a secret.

Why make is so great and strong?

For sleepless nights, not night

for days are shortened this mind’s

not resting….

where, you send me?

This path so thick.

I’m flapped, mind fused with

doubt you sent me didn’t you?

Start then….

I was busy troubled by that I practically forgot his words until one day he couldn’t surpass me so he ended up vouching that one day is one day, he will kill me 'literary'.

"Well someone has gotten bold I see, so you are free now huh!" an unknown voice spoke delicately distracting me from my hopeless mind.

‘Thank you Jesus’

“You’re……” I pondered more on the voice I was woken up by my school alarm.

PRESENT DAY....

‘Cree cree cree cree’ my alarm buzzer went off.

"Fuck, fuck we didn’t even get to the good part. Oh Miss Johnson. Damn! Wait what did she mean I am free now? “I woke up with questions I couldn’t fathom.

‘Wait! She’s back? Why now though after all this years?'

Yeah! I dreamt about her five times when Michael started his escapades. She gave me strength and patience but the dreams stopped. I didn’t know why and I hated that she abandoned me, AGAIN! Call me needy all you want but I needed her.

‘She was all I got, well except for my personal person inside me who spoke so loudly I swear I had a friend inside me. I mean that voice was really loud’

I woke up preparing for my last year at school trying to ignore everything questioning my emotions. Of course I was a senior, though I did not know what that year was coming with. I was old and different I could feel it. I was sure it wasn't because I was a senior, well that was a bonus but still something different was different about me and I felt as if something was going to happen. I couldn't put a finger on what was coming, but something was surely coming for me.

‘Probably Michael’s stupid ass, and his goons’