Goblin Is Perfectly Calm

I have finally reached a true milestone in this new life of mine. What milestone? Today I have officially turned one day old! It may not seem like much to a human, but to a goblin like me it signifies finally having enough control over our bodies to move around … kind of.

The other baby goblins are struggling to roll over and sit up, basic tasks like these. That doesn't apply to me. Why? Because I am special. I am a goblin destined to stand at the top, at the pinnacle of the species.

I let out a slight yawn and do a morning stretch to help myself wake up. I slowly sit up and look around the room. The eight other baby goblins are rolling all over the place. There are even a few who are trying their best to sit up.

Looking at the little guys doing their best to accomplish such basic tasks is quite amusing. What a pathetic bunch. They're concentrating so hard just to sit. Looking at their struggling faces it almost makes me pity them.

I tense up my muscles one by one and a smile floats its way onto my face. Placing my left palm on the ground I use my arm as a brace and carefully begin to straighten my legs. Straightening both my back and my legs I have finally made my first steps towards independence. I have stood up under my own power.

My great triumph didn't last long though. As it turns out, finding a proper sense of balance after standing for the first time isn't so easy. Trying to steady myself I wobble back and forth my arms extended to both sides spinning in circles all the while.

With a thud I fall on my backside, barely getting my hands down to help mitigate the impact. A light pain shoots through my body as I let out a muffled grunt.

Checking my surroundings I spot a baby goblin who has managed to successfully sit himself upright. A plan quickly forms in my mind as I crawl over to the splendid lad, coming to a stop after I have placed myself right behind him.

Once again I enact my plan to stand up. However, before I can stand all the way up I extend my right hand and place it on the top of my fellow goblins head. Using his head as a brace I stand all the way up. Unlike what happened last time, I manage to maintain my balance with the slight assistance of my fellow goblin.

Fufufu, while the others are rolling around on the ground like the helpless fools they are, I have already proved my superiority and am able to stand on my own two feet. I can't help but smirk as I put my left hand on my hip and strike a pose to commemorate my great accomplishment.

Slowly I move my hand off my assistants head. With my legs spread should width apart I slowly wobble back and forth trying to find my sense of balance.

Whenever I feel like I'm about to lose my balance I promptly seek assistance from the nearby baby goblin. After tightly gripping the other goblins head about five times I have finally gotten comfortable standing without any help.

Moving my upper body I lean forward before once again straightening my back. I lean in the same fashion in every direction making sure I can keep my balance without any help. My actions may seem pointless but they are necessary. If I can't maintain my balance while simply standing how could I possibly progress further.

That's right; I'm preparing myself to take my first steps! How could a superior being like me be content with merely standing? Obviously such a thing is impossible.

After confirming my balance I try to take a step forward. Despite my best efforts I am unable to maintain my balance and tumble to the ground in defeat.

A minor setback! My path to greatness shall not be halted so easily! I once again resort to the demeaning method of self-propulsion known as crawling as I weave between the baby goblins and make my way to a nearby wall.

Using the wall as a brace I rise once more. Keeping my right hand on the wall I take a step forward. Awkward as it may be, I have successfully taken a step forward. On the back of my success I reposition my hand and take another step.

The process repeats itself until I have taken more than ten steps. The awkwardness in my moves has gradually decreased as I have started to get the hang of walking with the assistance of the wall. I refuse to be content with just this though!

I slowly retract my hand a few inches away from the wall. Once again standing under my own power I take a step forward. Losing my balance I reach for the safety of the wall and steady myself. After regaining my balance I remove my hand again and repeat the process.

The scene of me trying to move forward, before grabbing the wall to prevent myself from falling down, repeated nearly a hundred times before I was finally able to consistently walk next to the wall in a somewhat stable manner.

Confident in my newfound walking ability I distance myself from the wall. Without the wall acting as a safety net, I move towards the center of the room where I slept previously.

Back at my usual spot I sit down and begin focusing on my sensing practice. I thought about practicing while standing, but since I can barely walk right now I don't think it would turn out too well. In order to not embarrass myself the only option is to get to the point where either walking, sensing, or both are things I'm able to do as easy as breathing. Unfortunately it will take some time before I reach that level.

Before long the sound of someone noisily making their way towards the entrance of the room reaches my ears. Coming into view at the entrance of the room is yet again the only adult goblin I've seen so far.

The old goblin has the same brown cloth that he brought with him yesterday. Setting down the cloth he removes the fruits held inside and starts bringing them to the baby goblins. As usual, the geezer gives the other baby goblins their food first.

When the old guy finally gets around to my turn he takes his sweet time picking up the fruit. I follow the same routine as before and glare at him when he finally turns to make his way over to me. Squinting slightly the two of us engage in yet another staring contest as he meanders his way over.

With a twitching face he hands over my meal after having been soundly defeated by the staring contest master. I naturally accept the food with a victorious smirk causing a vein to visibly bulge on the old goblins forehead. He gives one last glare before letting out a snort and turning to leave.

After seeing off the old goblin I turn my attention to the fruit. The fruit is pink in color with a smooth exterior. It doesn't have much weight to it while only being about the size and shape of an orange.

I take a large bite out of the fruit to discover it is rather bitter. I finish off the rest of the fruit while lost in thought. The fruit made for yet another awful meal but it did help me notice one thing; the more I eat of something the less of it I taste. I don't know if this is a goblin thing or if it's a condition suffered by me alone, but I do find it pretty helpful when eating the awful stuff we're being given as food.

Having finished my meal I resume my magic training. Although I'm not progressing as quickly as I would've hoped, any progress is better than staying stagnant. My training continues until I find myself having problems staying focused.

Since doing the same thing over and over again can get in your head I've decided to put my training on the back burner for now. With that in mind I stand up and continue my walking practice. I weave my way between the baby goblins, my speed and stability increasing as time marches on.

It would be bad if I get too used to moving only in one direction so I switch up my movement every now and then. Sometimes I do back steps while others I work on doing side steps. After getting comfortable I start switching directions at a moment's notice. When I slide back and forth I can almost imagine someone trying to drive past me, but unfortunately for the imaginary man my defense is too solid.

Having worked up a good sweat I blow the imaginary whistle in my head to signal the end of practice. I drag my heavy body back to my usual spot and lay down, since I can't take a shower to clean myself off I can only go to sleep all sweaty.

With my back firmly planted on the hard ground I close my eyes to try to catch some sleep. Unlike the usual situation where my mind wonders about before I can fall asleep, my eyelids feel heavy and my consciousness is quickly sent off to dreamland.

My eyes jolt open as I'm awakened by a sudden bang. Sitting up and looking around, everything in the room appears to be normal. I don't know what's going on but I have a terrible sense of foreboding. Every part of my being is telling me that I'm in danger.

I focus my ears and try to pick up any hints I can as to what is happening outside the room. Although faint, I can hear goblins screaming along with a considerable amount of footsteps. As expected, there is definitely something happening outside.

Without going out and taking a look I can't tell exactly what is going on but I have a general idea of the situation. Judging by the goblins screaming and running all over the place as well as some other indistinct noises it doesn't take a genius like me to figure out we're under attack.

The first suspect would be other monsters but I find that unlikely. Other monsters may attack goblins for food but other than that they would have nothing to gain from attacking our nest. Since there should be a decent number of goblins in the nest it would be unlikely for a single monster to attack this place. It could be a group of monsters, but they would probably be able to find a much better place to hunt or live than this place.

The main suspect in this attack would be adventurers in my opinion. Goblins are seen as a nuisance to the intelligent races and adventurers make a living getting rid of monsters that have value or are considered a nuisance. Since goblins grow quickly it's only natural they would get rid of any nest they find before it becomes an issue. After all, twenty goblins are much easier to deal with than a hundred.

While assessing the situation I hear the sound of footsteps drawing closer at an alarming rate. Compared to the sounds the old goblin makes when he comes to visit the sound of these footsteps has a lot more weight to it. My speculation of an adventurer raid seems to have been right on the money if the footsteps are any indication.

Panicking slightly I rush to get up and make a move toward the back of the cave. As I stumble around I hear the footsteps drawing ever closer. Looking about as I move I finally reach my destination. I quickly drop to the ground and pull up the edge of the fur pelt us baby goblins spend most of our time on top of. Sliding under the edge of the pelt I move back a bit towards the middle of the room. After getting far enough in that I won't be easily exposed I lay flat and try to make myself seem like part of the terrain.

[Newborns? How disgusting.]

I hold my breath and try to become the ground as the source of the footsteps arrives while spouting insults. I do my best not to tremble as the adventurer casually makes his way into the room. Every time his footsteps approach a baby goblin it's accompanied by the sound of metal cutting flesh and bone.

Blood seeps through the pelt as the goblin nearest to me is killed in cold blood. The adventurer leisurely makes his way to the last goblin left alive on top of the pelt. Along the way he steps right next to the top of my head.

After finishing off the last remaining goblin the adventurer makes his way out of the room. The slaughter may have taken less than a minute but for me it felt like an eternity. I was sure he would find me hiding under the pelt and kill me like the rest of the goblins in the nest. Maybe he assumed none of the baby goblins in the room were smart enough and capable enough to hide under the fur.

Who was the idiot who said that being a goblin is convenient? Show yourself so I can give you a beating. If it wasn't for my superior intellect and motor skills I would have died the same as the other goblins. If I was more than a day old maybe I would have had some chance to defend myself, but at this point in my life fighting a full grown human is still impossible.

Having narrowly escaped death I slowly inch my way out from under the pelt. Sliding out from under the pelt I slowly get to my feet. Silently celebrating my survival I brush the dirt off my body and casually turn to face the entrance.

My movements come to a sudden halt when I look at the entrance of the room. At the entrance of the room is a blonde beauty staring at me with a surprised look on her face. Her bright blue eyes meet mine as we stare at each other both shocked at the turn of events.

The female adventurer is wearing a set of light grey robes and is holding some sort of staff in her hands. Based on her appearance my best guess is that she's likely a magician of some sort. Unlike the male adventurer who showed up prior, I didn't hear her coming at all.

The gears in my head spin at full force as I kick my mind into overdrive to think of a way out of this situation. Alas there is nothing I can do. It would appear my fate is sealed.

In an act of desperation I cautiously make my way over to my nearest fallen brethren while maintaining eye contact with the beauty before me. Finally reaching the corpse I bend down and put my hand in the blood seeping from his wounds.

I smear the blood on my neck and chest while still keeping an eye on the female adventurer. Following that I hold my left hand at my chest while my right hand rises above my head. I promptly spin in a circle while clutching my chest and fall dramatically to the ground. To top off my performance I stick out my tongue and let out a death noise while tightly shutting my eyes.

[… eh]

Keeping my eyes tightly shut I wait for nearly a minute while doing all I can to stop myself from trembling. If this plan fails then the only thing left waiting for me is death. Cautiously I open one of my eyes to take a peak to see if the adventurer had left yet. To my dismay, the first thing that caught my eye was the grey robed adventurer still standing at the entrance of the room staring at me.

My eye promptly slammed shut as I began to tremble slightly waiting for the end to come. Before I could gather my thoughts the sound of heavy footsteps made their way into my ears. The male adventurer who massacred the other baby goblins is coming back.

Knowing that the male adventurer will likely notice me if I stay where I am I strengthen my resolve to stick with my current ploy. Opening my eyes I get to my knees and scramble towards the nearest corpse. I glance at the blonde beauty one last time before hiding behind the body and closing my eyes. If I'm going to die at least my last memory will be of something other than a bunch of ugly goblins.

The footsteps draw close as I hold my breath and do everything I can to not stand out from the rest of the dead newborns.

[Find any more survivors?]

[No, rest of the cave's empty. Let's hurry up and report to the guild so I can go home.]

[So the missing people weren't kidnapped by these guys?]

[It looks that way. Well, it doesn't matter to me. The job was to wipe out the nests in this area, not search for missing people. Since the job I'm getting paid to do is finished there's no reason for me to waste my time doing anything else.]

The pair of adventurers had a short exchange before the male adventurer left. Even after hearing the footsteps of the male adventure disappear it's hard to tell whether or not the female adventurer is still here. I could hear the heavy footsteps of the male adventurer every time he was even somewhat close. The female adventurer on the other hand didn't make a sound.

After waiting for a few minutes I worked up my courage and lifted my head to glance towards the entrance of the room. Even though I don't see any sign of the blonde woman I can't be too sure of her whereabouts unlike her loud counterpart.

I would love to wait until I was absolutely sure the coast is clear but I don't have that kind of luxury. If the pair is still here I still have time to spare. However, if they report to the guild about wiping out the nest then it's only a matter of time before the guild sends someone to confirm their report.

In order to preserve my life I need to get out of here and find a place to hide before more people show up. If I leave too soon and the pair are still in the area I'm as good as dead. If I take too long and the people from the guild show up to investigate, I'm also dead.

I take a few minutes to calm my nerves and lesson the probability the adventurers are still in the area. I casually stand up and make my way to the entrance of the room. As I reach the entryway I realize this will be my first time leaving this room in this brief life of mine.

Stepping into the hallway I turn and make my way to right of the entry way. When the adventurers appeared they came and left from this direction so it should lead outside.

Step by step I make my way through the cave. Every now and then there will be goblin corpses strewn about, proof of the battle that took place. After nearly a minute of walking I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Beyond that light is where my new life begins.