63. The Awakening

I slowly sit up, ignoring the cloudiness that floated around my mind, for I was used to it- feeling confused was an everyday thing for me.

My eyes scan the area groggily, only for them to land upon Kakuzu and Sasori, both of them with their backs turned to me as they discuss something at the long desk along the wall.

I watched patiently, silently, waiting for them to realise I was awake but they seemed to be deep in conversation about something, not once pausing in their discussion.

Curiously, I honed in my hearing and started to catch small sections of their conversations.

"It's the use of her Jutsu that triggered the seal to waver" I overheard Sasori say in a low hushed serious tone that caused me swallow, my mouth dry with nerves and confusion mingling together with remembrance.

That's right, I was able to conjure a water dragon Jutsu somehow... Before I fainted...

But... what did they mean by a seal?

"Tila, you're awake?" Kakuzu's hoarse voice beckoned, I blinked a few times, refocusing on him and Sasori who had now both turned to face me. It seemed as though they were both analysing me-the looks they gave were quite scrutinising and it made me feel a little uncomfortable. I licked my lips, resolution filling me as I searched for the words to use.

"Yeah, I'm awake. What's going on with me? Please tell me, I need to know." I asked, somewhat forcefully. They can't continue to keep me in the dark, it's really starting to get to me, it's just so frustrating. Sasori's facial features faltered for only a moment, as if what I had said hit a nerve but he smoothly recovered as his eyes shaded over into an unnerving blankness.

It's so well rehearsed...

"We discovered that you have some sort of seal placed on your Chakra, we believe it's what's keeping your memories locked away" Sasori reluctantly explained.

Kakuzu picked up a glass of water that was placed on the desk and came over before handing it to me. I took it from him gratefully and sipped slowly, still looking from Sasori to Kakuzu as I then lowered the glass from my lips.

"That's it? What am I going to do? I can't stay like this forever. It's just..." I began to say, frustration and desperation piling in to my voice. I wanted... No, I needed them to understand I can't keep dealing with these confused overwhelming feelings. I just can't.

It's just too much.

"We're going to find a way to break the seal. You need to just find a way to deal with it until then" Kakuzu said as he took the empty glass from my hand and walked back over to the desk, giving Sasori a deadly look as he did.

That is their answer?

I restrained a sigh, determination filling me as I came to a conclusion. I need to figure this out, by any means possible. I can't keep relying on everyone else.

"I'm going back to my room" I told them as I stood up, they both gave me one last look then Sasori nodded. I made my way back to my room, I needed answers, I needed to know, I can't continue to walk around as though dead behind the eyes.

I had a quick shower and got dressed then headed to Itachi's room. Ever since I'd had that flashback there was this feeling I had inside, some sort of intuition telling me I would find answers there. And at this point, I believe in that more than anything else.

I knocked on his door a few times and waited, the door slowly opened and Itachi's face then appeared as he poked it out into hallway, his eyes scanning over me with hidden emotion that I couldn't decipher.

"Tila, you came to see me?" Itachi asked curiously.

"I wanted to try another Genjutsu, I remembered something last time and I think it's going to work if we try it again" I explained to him.

"I see, shall we go for a walk then?" he said, his eyebrow raised the slightest, perhaps in earnest.

"Sure, some fresh air would do us some good." I said cracking a faint smile.

Itachi opened the door wider and stepped out into the corridor; he was wearing his usual attire - that navy short sleeved shirt and baggy pants, those collarbones that stuck out ever so slightly.

I quickly looked back up to his face, trying to hide the fact that I was admiring him but his expression didn't budge.

We made our way down and out of the building, the day was sunny and clear as we walked further away from the base and eventually we found a nice quit spot just outside of the busy streets.

I took a seat on the soft grass besides Itachi, there was a moments silence as we looked at each other, as though we were talking without words... It was only for a moment but it's as if he could see right through me... As if he already knew what I had seen. I let my fears slip out of my mind, they were not going to hold me back. Not anymore.

Itachi's eyes swirled swiftly into a mesmerising red and black pattern, I was enveloped into his mind quickly and suddenly, there was no turning back.

_________________________________

"Tila, you wanted to see me?" a cold, deep voice that sounded so familiar asked. I slowly looked up to see Itachi slow in his walking as he came to a stop, now standing closely in front of me.

"Can we please... go for a walk?" I felt myself ask hesitantly.

"Sure" Itachi faintly smiled and grabbed a hold of my hand softly then lead me towards a boulder.

As the boulder rises the deep orange of sundown reflected across the skies, Itachi and I walked out into the green lush forest silently. Itachi's hand still holds onto mine gently as we enter a small clearing within the depths of the forest.

I stopped and looked around at the circular green grass and small flower patch that is sitting in the middle of the clearing.

"Can we stay here for a while?" I hear myself ask Itachi who gives a small nod and let's go of my hand again.

My body slowly walks up to the flowers and I look down at them; what was I thinking when I did this? I feel Itachi's eyes gaze on me from behind... I slowly lean down and start to pick an assortment of each coloured flower: Red, blue, purple, and dark green flowers.

I hold the flowers and my hands start to shake, I stand back up and walked over to a small huddle of rocks that sat on the outskirts of the clearing, I lay the coloured flowers before four rocks... I used my lightning to carve something upon the rocks...

They're... names... familiar names...

I sit down silently and looked from one to the next.

"Tila" I shivered at Itachi's soft voice as I felt him sit behind me and wrap his arms around my waist from behind.

What in the world am I doing here? Itachi must be someone special to me... I thought I must've been crazy before but the signs are all there...

"Itachi, are you going to leave me too?" I asked quietly.

I felt him collect my long blonde hair and push it over my shoulder then a warm tingling beside my ear.

"When the time comes... yes" he whispered into my ear.

It hit me.

I was sitting before graves.

"Well then, we should make the best of what time we have left" I then whispered. The sadness in my voice... It was...

I felt Itachi's grip around my waist tighten ever so slightly as his voice rang in my ears like a bell, the finality of his words terrifying for reasons I can't place.

"I know you will be alright Tila."

_________________________________

I snapped back into reality, Itachi's eyes filled with sadness before me, I slowly lifted my fingers and felt my damp cheeks. Tears.

"I still don't understand, everyone is here... You and I... We were..." I stammered, haze clouding my senses, closing in on me. I need to know, I can't hold back anymore... I need answers.

I pressed my lips against Itachi's and for that split second they collided, my fears course through me rapidly, I felt his lips part and those same fears ran their course, leaving me breathless and in angst.

Suddenly I felt a tight grip wrap itself around my wrist, my lips broke from Itachi's as I was forcefully pulled onto my feet.

Sasori's pained face was all I could see, his eyes held a sadness that was enough to break a heart into a million pieces and it was directed right at me.

The same grip that he held around my wrist was yanked so hard that I was forced forward into his chest.

I hit it hard and then to my disbelief Sasori grabbed my chin with his other hand and forced his lips against mine.

I felt my heart race as he roughly kissed into me, as though I was a long lost lover...

The intensity of his feelings rushed right through me... Causing feelings I hadn't felt before, feelings I couldn't describe, they overtook, making me shake, making my body falter in anxiety.

I can't handle it, it's so painful, it's hurting my heart. I started to struggle, I felt tears leave my eyes as I tried desperately to pull away, to rid myself of this overwhelming anxiety but Sasori's grip around me didn't falter, instead he kissed harder into me...

Making his pain my own...

I started to sob, I tried to scream, I tried to break loose, that's when I felt something else break.

Something that had been holding me back for such a long time.

His lips parted from mine and I staggered backwards, the sight of Sasori before me after such a long time.

I see him clearly, standing before me, alive.

The one who made my heart flutter at just the sight of beige in his eluding eyes, the soothing tone to his voice that made goosebumps like no other ripple across my delicate skin, the same Sasori that held me closely to him for hours at a time, the same Sasori who had caused countless nights to be sleepless when he'd left me.

"I thought of you... everyday..." I whispered as I stared into his eyes. The loneliness that had filled my heart, the broken pieces of my fragmented soul, Sasori completed me- it was him and no one else.

Sasori is looking straight at me, at all of me, only me, he only sees me.

He pulled me into his chest again, but this time I didn't struggle, it was overwhelming but I clung onto him, after everything, I never wanted to let him go ever again.

"You remember, Tila.." He whispered softly against the lobe of my ear.

The way he says my name, it makes my heart thump uncontrollably, stirring feelings that were hidden so deep, back to the surface. I feel tears silently spill from my eyes, if only he knew what I was feeling.

"I could never forget you Sasori."

He held me tightly as we stood embraced in a silence, after a while of letting reality set in I slowly pulled back away. I looked around and realised that Itachi was gone, I looked back at Sasori, who's messy red hair was sprawled across his pale face.

"I just... I need to lay down. I need to gather my thoughts. There's so much running through my mind." I stammered.

"Take all the time you need, for you I don't mind waiting." Sasori tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I felt a small shiver run through me, that feeling... I slowly sat back down on the grass and lay onto my back and closed my eyes.

So much had happened since I'd been taken by... him.

Everyone was revived, they're all here and we're trying to bring back my memory this entire time.

Reality is sinking in, there is a lot happening right now.

There's going to be a war.

People are going to die, blood is going to be spilt and who's to say the ones I love are going to be safe?

The ones I regard as my family, the ones that I finally found a home with... I couldn't protect them before and I couldn't bear to let anything ever hurt them. Not again.

....

That night, he had come to visit me... That voice is one that cannot be mistaken.

He's trying to lure me back to him... What is his plan?

Does he want me on his side? With my memory I would never have willingly joined him...

Perhaps if I had no memory then he could easily have tricked me...

I may just have an advantage.

I need to try and stop this war, I need to protect everyone I love... but how?

I sit up quickly and look around hurriedly only to see Sasori laying quietly beside me.

"Sasori, I need to talk to everyone right now. It's really important. Let's go." I quickly said, he cracked open an eye and gave me a small cheeky smile.

"You sound more like yourself already" Sasori mused as he slowly got up onto his feet.

I couldn't help but too laugh at the irony as I got up too, the amount I'd missed that cheeky smile was unbearable but I didn't linger on it too long, the dread of what was to come was much more overwhelming.

Sasori and I hastily made our way back towards base.

Time was truly running out.