41. Change Of Heart

As I stared at the note which replaced where Itachi should have been on the pillow next to me I felt a nauseating sickness inside my stomach. I stared at the piece of paper, my heart thumping harder and harder in my chest as I outstretched my arm and shakily picked it up and began to read.

'Tila,

I didn't have the heart to wake you before I left, by the time you read this I will probably be dead.

I ask that even after I'm gone you keep my secrets far away from Sasuke, please keep them huddled tightly to your chest. I couldn't bare to tell him the truth, not even before I take my last breath. I'm so sorry for leaving you but fate has decided my time had come to an end.

Always stay true to yourself no matter what the threat, I will always have faith in you so remember the words I've said.

It's okay to be afraid but things will be the same.

Please know forever in my heart will be engraved your name.

Itachi Uchiha '

Emptiness filled me as the last words I'd read resided in my mind. The reality of Itachi leaving hadn't quite sunk in.. I slowly laid back down and stared at the ceiling as I held my shaky frame. My head started to spin around and around in circle at an extreme speed. I'd known from the beginning that the inevitable was to come.

Helplessness, vulnerability, a deep dark sorrow and pain grew from a small lump in my throat and started to radiate all over my body. I closed my eyes.

I didn't shed not a single tear. The feelings started to disappear too.. They just vanished.

I laid there for what seemed to be hours blankly staring at the ceiling. Not one thought. Not one feeling. My mind and heart were in a unison of blankness.

Empty.

Nothing.

Sasuke. This was all Sasuke's fault.

I'll kill him. Right now.

___________________________

I got up and threw on my cloak, I wanted nothing more than to show him the pain he had caused Itachi in return. I felt a deep anger now rumble as it overtook my blankness, I breathed out a raspy breath as it took over..

Drip.

I felt a small drop of something wet on my shoulder, I noticed that my hair had started to turn a jet black again.. I look up.

Drip, drip.

I was so enraged that a purply blue thundercloud was forming and beginning to rumble and rain upon me. I slammed my door shut and briskly walked down the corridor, my thundercloud now rumbling above me more dangerously than ever before but I didn't care. All I wanted was to let this anger inside of me loose, let it out on the one who had caused it. As the training room came into view I noticed straight away that it was not empty. On the contrary the person I seek stood only feet away.

"Sasuke, I'll kill you!"

I screamed at him as I briskly walked closer, my eyes must have shown how I felt because the looks I was given in return by Sasuke's friends, Obito and Madara who had now turned to face me looked surprised.

"Tila-" Sasuke chilling voice began to say but it was too late.

___________________________

Sasuke stood on a podium centring the poorly lit space of my mind. I watched as he stood before me, Sharingan activated as if ready for me to strike any moment.

"Why" I asked rashly, feeling the inner hatred inside me boil on low heat.

"Tila, you knew better than anyone" Sasuke's cold voice answered. The sound of my inner thunder began to rumble and crack as though an outlet to my true feeling.

"Obito told me everything" I paused. He.. now knew of the truth..

"You're so stupid Sasuke, all you ever thought about was yourself!" I yelled, not wanting to hear his sorry excuses for his actions.

"Itachi loved you, to the point.." I paused again as my eyes welled.

"To the point .. Where he would kill his own clan then die ..to save you."

Silence filled my heart and within the intensity of the moment I could feel it fill Susuke's too.

"If I could take it back.. " he stammered in a low tone... His emotions now evident in his voice ..

It spoke sadness, it spoke regret..

it was useless.

"It's to late for that now" I whispered, "Now you die." As the last of my words left my lips I imagined Susuke's body being stabbed. I wanted to stab him in the chest and as I pictured it my will came into fruition. A deep dark red blood tricked down Susuke's chest from a hollow puncture mark that had momentarily appeared, I felt a sick kind of pleasure as I watched his face become covered in pain.

"Is this what you did to Itachi?" I asked coldly as I imagined another stab to his left thigh.

Blood. There was lots of it. I closed my eyes for only a second as I basket in the ambience of Susuke's pain but something wasn't right.

_______________________

"Tila" I heard Madara's voice whisper my name in that chillingly cold tone and before I knew it I was back in the training room now kneeling on my knees completely soaked in water from the drizzling thundercloud above me. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my long thick black hair lay limply around my face as I sobbed hysterically on the cold hard floor, I quickly looked back up only to see Sasuke lying on the floor before me clutching onto his fresh wounds.

Wounds that I had made.

"I'm not finished with him!" I screamed as I shakily tried to stand up but I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me backwards as I kicked ferociously in an attempt to free myself from the tightening grip, the sight of Sasuke became more distant as the person behind me dragged me away down the hallway. Madara.

___________________________

Madara opened his bedroom door and threw me down hard onto his bed forcefully. I panted breathlessly as I hit the soft mattress, my anger had somehow drained away my energy.

"What're you doing?" I shouted at Madara who was now looking down at me coldly.

"Stopping you from making a huge mistake, Tila" Madara replied. I continued to pant now narrowing my eyes at Madara's words.

"What're you talking about?" I asked, shaking my head in disbelief, my long black hair flicking from side to side from the corner of my vision. Madara gave a small smirk and then sat down onto his bed beside me.

Eyes watching me, I couldn't tell what he was thinking.. But a had a feeling I probably didn't want to know anyways.

"Sasuke is joining the Akatsuki temporarily, with us loosing so many members we could use the extra help" Madara explained coldly, onyx eyes still boring into my own. As I steadied my breathing I continued to look at Madara blankly. Those stern facial features standing out boldly.

"So the only reason he's here is to use him" I said and Madara gave a small nod. I closed my eyes then dropped my head and focused on the pain I was feeling inside, for some reason all the anger had disappeared and was being replaced with a hatred. An intense hatred that I had never felt before.

"If everything goes to plan then there won't be feelings of pain or suffering in this world" Madara alluring words cooed beside my ear.

I slowly lifted my head and opened my eyes back up to see Madara giving a small dark smirk in my direction. My mind was in such a blur that I decided then and there that it would be easier to no longer care.

"I don't care anymore, let's just get this done" I finally said. Madara continued to stare at me, with those eyes.. Black eyes that held nothing.

"I'm about to call a meeting, don't bother with Sasuke. He is beneath you, Tila."

I hadn't noticed until now but he had been calling me by my name.. Maybe Madara had a change of heart towards me? Or maybe he had forgotten to call me woman throughout all the commotion. Either way I still wasn't too fond of him but at least we both wanted the same goal.. And right now that was good enough for me.

"Fine." I sighed in defeat and then slowly got up and followed as Madara stood up and headed back down towards the training room. As we entered I saw that everyone had already gathered and were curiously looking in our direction.

My eyes fell onto Sasuke who stood In between two of his comrades - a red headed girl and a tall orange haired guy. Sasuke had been patched up by the looks of it because he was standing up properly and returning my cold glare. I looked away, not wanting to let myself lose it again and focused on Madara.

"Everyone, this is Sasuke - Itachi's younger brother and his, ahem. Team" Madara said as he gave a barely noticeable look of disgust in their direction. God Madara could be a real jerk..

"Sasuke and his team will set off tomorrow to retrieve the eight-tailed Jinchuriki." The room remained quiet and all I could hear was the sound of Madara's light breathing from beside me.

"That is all for now, you're all dismissed" Madara finally said and I watched as he turned around and walked away. Sasuke and his team also made their way down the same hall after Madara, I received a few odd glances from their direction but decided to ignore them. Kisame silently left too, then I noticed Pain and Konan both approaching me.

"Tila, is everything alright?" Konan asked as she came up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, Pain also looked at me in way that I had never seen before - worried.

"It's okay, I'll be fine" I reassured them both, Pain's Rennigon searched my eyes for answers as I stood their giving them both a faint fake smile.

"You know, we are your comrades too Tila" Pain's deep voice said and I felt a small trail of relief fall over me.

"Thanks" I replied, I suppose I hadn't lost everyone I cared about.. An idea came to me.

"Say, would you both want to join me for a drink later this afternoon?" I asked hesitantly. Konan and Pain both exchanged looks quickly before Konan answered.

"Sure, don't forget to ask Kisame to join us too" she said and I couldn't help but smile. It would be like old times in a way, the thought of being with who remained from the original crew made me feel a little better after today's stressful events.

"I'll go and ask him now, see you both later, then?" I said as I waved them both goodbye. Pain nodded and Konan gave a small wave as I turned back around and headed down to Kisame's room to look for him.

I continued to walk down the long hallway, I past Itachi's room and continued down to where I had seen Kisame go a multitude of times- I had guessed his room was down here but seeing as I had never actually been there I wasn't sure. I finally saw a door in the distance, as I got closer I noticed that it was open slightly so I knocked on it a few times only to be greeted by Kisame himself.

"Tila, fancy seeing you here" he said as he opened up his door and looked down at me curiously.

"Yeah fancy that" I chuckled faintly.

"But seriously, I came to ask if you wanted to come for a drink with Pain, Konan and I later on this afternoon" I asked, Kisame gave me a fishy smile.

"Sure, I think we need it after everything that's been happening around here lately" he said. I knew exactly what he meant.

"Kisame.. do you miss them?" I asked a little hesitantly.

"Hmm, yeah I do. We had some good times.." Kisame sighed as though reminiscing.

"Well, all the more reason to have a drink" I suggested.

"Sure, I'll see you later then" Kisame said, I gave another small smile before he closed his door. Guess I should have some lunch then I thought to myself as I slowly trailed back down the corridor.

I sat in silence while I ate my sandwich at the kitchen bench. It felt lonelier than usual, it's as though sitting alone had started to become a normal thing.

"Tila" Zetsu's voice called my name from behind me so I slowly turned around still half chewing at my lunch.

"Whaart iz uuit?" I asked in a half Inaudible mumble then swallowed.

"Madara asked me to come and get you, again" Zetsu said as he sweat dropped.

"You're getting sick of it too Zetsu?" I asked the obvious as I stood up to discard my half eaten lunch. For some reason the mention of Madara's name had ruined my appetite.

"He's very... demanding." replied Zetsu as though thinking of a way to explain without bad mouthing Madara.

"I know what you mean, Zetsu" I said as I made my way over to the bin, dropped the remanence of my sandwich in and washed my plate. Zetsu sighed then turned and left looking a little depressed. Maybe I also wasn't the only one around here feeling under the weather.

I slowly made my way down the hall towards Madara's room, what on earth could he want now? Thinking about it already started to annoy me..

"Madara?" I called from behind his door as I knocked softly.

"Come in." his cold voice replied so I turned the door handle and pushed open the door.

I felt an intense heat run from my head to my toes as my eyes laid on the sight of Madara wearing only a towel around his waist, his long dark hair was wet and draped down his bare back - his buff porcelain form stood in front of his wardrobe half turned to face me as he pulled out clothing.

"What's the big idea! Why are you naked!" I yelled feeling my fluster worsen as he smiled mischievously at me.

"Don't act so unimpressed, back in my time girls would fall head over heels to see me like this" he mused seductively but before I could retort his face stiffened again.

"Just shut up and come in. I want to talk to you," Madara said coldly as he slipped on a shirt then looked over at me again. I furrowed my brows in annoyance without even realising it, Madara raised an eye brow at me as those black eyes of his stared.

"Well if you're not coming in then you can at least turn around," His voice cooed, and I realised I was still looking!

"Shit, hurry up then." I said angrily, turning around quickly. Oh god this is so awkward! Why couldn't he have summonsed me after he was dressed!

"What's wrong?" Madara asked from behind me after a few second of silence. I felt my breathing become more heavy as he asked..

"What do you mean? You always summon me for stupid reasons Madara! Then you ask what's wr-" before I had finish his cold voice cut me off.

"No. Tell me what happened yesterday between you and Sasuke" he demanded. The anger surfaced as the mentioning of Susuke's name.

"Why should I tell you?" I replied bitterly.

"Sit down" Madara said and I turned back around and eyed him suspiciously..

"Well?" I antagonised.

"Sit" he said plainly.

I hesitantly sat down and watched as he stood before me, the vibe he emitted was confident - as though amused by my annoyance with him.

"Spit it out already then" he demanded again.

"No I'm not telling a pervy old man like you!" I yelled angrily then stood back up and storms back out before he could stop me. I march back down the hall, feeling so frustrated at Madara. He can't just demand to know what's wrong! He could have just asked nicely if he wanted to know that badly! I lay down on my bed and hug my pillow tightly, the amount of confusion and anger that I had been feeling lately was overwhelming and wearing me out..

I felt tears surface and linger for a moment before I swallow them down. There's no point in crying out of frustration Tila, the best you can do is just ignore him, ignore the pain. Besides, you're going to be in good company tonight.. I felt relieved as I thought about spending some time with those I still cared about later on. Hopefully it would distract my mind, even if it was only temporarily.