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Dimension Between Dimensions
Reality was simple at the start of my life. Comparatively speaking, at least it became easy to understand how things worked around me. I had to grow up fast since both of my parents died when I was real young. I wasn't really a good person back then. I thought a lot of immature things and blamed everyone but myself for my problems. I was thrown into conflict after conflict and I never even stopped to wonder exactly why everything was happening to me. I blocked it out and chose to ignore it.
As the years went on I found a new family—a group of people who were a lot like me in some ways—not as misanthropic of course—but damaged all the same. That's what kept me around at first, I think. It wasn't their personalities or their looks or even that they extended the hand first—just that they had been through a lot. I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to make new friendships with people who hadn't for a very long time.
I liked Andy the most out of everyone—I think that much was an obvious fact. He was the closest to my age and I wasn't good at talking to girls—so Lindsey and Jen had to deal with the...brasher side of my personality for a while. I wasn't proud of it, but I didn't put a stop to it then either.
Time passed and those walls were broken down and I saw them for more than just broken people forced together—I saw them as a family. We lived, ate, and worked as a unit and nothing broke our bonds...until I died. Even after all of my growth, I still didn't fully see myself as someone who deserved to be where they were. I didn't see the good I brought to the world, even if I stopped bringing in bad. So my sacrifice to get rid of Micah was just as selfish as it was heroic, maybe even moreso. I wanted my pain to end—and I was depressed because my family seemed to be healing—getting better and I was scared that they would all move on from me once they did—I'd remain as the broken little boy with no-one left.
I didn't know how much they missed me. Not for a long time. When I came out on the other side I was so confused. My memory was completely wiped. I wasn't on Earth anymore—I wasn't even in the same dimension anymore. My body disintegrated into the void known as the Dimension Between Dimensions; a vast ocean that connected all worlds and times.
I wasn't alone—Micah's soul also survived and had his memories wiped clean. That was when we met Father. The overseer of all existence—born once on Earth as a man named Friedrich Adata, but his existence covers so much more than that. He's been here since the beginning of all time—although it's an important enough distinction that he didn't create all time—he's just been here since the start.
Reality was much stranger, now.
Micah and I were sent into new universe after new universe to act as their overseers. I typically would play the role of a benevolent protector and Micah would be the malefactor. I don't think I was meant to remember my past life as Gavin Daniels. That identity was locked away inside The Pit like everyone else's consciousness who had died.
I think that was the harshest thing to come to grips with—that there wasn't a heaven or a hell to reward or punish those who lived. Once you died your soul was brought back to The Pit—a void of pure black tar that ripped the identities out of the souls that passed through it and cataloged them like some sick science experiment. Somewhere inside that mess rested my identity—kept inside a pitiful excuse for an afterlife with the ones I loved.
It wasn't true—because I was here—on the outside. Whatever emotions were being faked inside the void were not real, and not for me. It was a library of human consciousness—feeding on completing its ever growing connections. I had a feeling The Pit was the real creator of the universe—and Father was just lucky it didn't consider him part of its collection yet.
I mounted a rescue. Ever since the very start I believed something was off about all of this. I wanted to return home, but they wouldn't let me. Micah and I participated in our little game for a while. A few thousand years passed and I still felt like something was wrong. One day I found myself outside of the cycle Micah and I were trapped in. Father must have made a mistake, must have thought we were both compliant little angels because I got free and I went straight for The Pit.
It was awful, terrible. It reeked of decomposition. The tar was everywhere and covered everything. I could feel the millions of identities free of their souls screaming in agony. They knew it wasn't right. They saw their loved ones but knew they weren't really themselves. I was mortified. I tried to save them, but I couldn't hold more than one of them at once—I'd take their identity as my own. I...had to find this out by experience.
I took in the memories of a young woman. She died when she was in her twenties to a drunk driver. Heather George...I am sorry for what I did. I panicked and went off to find my self as quickly as I could. I did...there was a pull that came from it that I knew was mine. As soon as I reunited with it Heather was repressed into the depths of my subconscious. I didn't know she would be locked away like that—so I vowed not to touch any more of them—I didn't want to destroy anymore of them—their memories—loves—desires. Not until I could figure out how to save them all, at least.
I remembered who I was—what I had lost—and exactly what Friedrich had done to my world. Something had to change. I couldn't go back to what I had been doing—I had to fix what had been broken.
I haven't reclaimed my body yet—it's kept separate from my memories. The moment I did my jig would be up and I'd probably be struck down for blasphemy by Father. No, for the moment I have the ball in my court and he didn't know it yet. I had to play this smart. I had to find some way to get the upper hand and overthrow him.
All that sounds wonderful, but I don't know the first thing about overthrowing the overseer of all life. I didn't even know if he had a physical presence in this world...if not then what could I do?
Did your doubts stop you from taking on Micah? Or Jack?
A voice from deep within my mind—they couldn't have come from anyone but Heather. I struggled to wonder how she would have known those things, but just as I have been able to glimpse into her life she must be able to do so with mine.
Did your family know exactly what they were going up against all the time? Were you at a loss for hope sometimes?
We didn't know what we were doing for a lot of the time...we kept each other moving when there wasn't a clear way forward.
Think of them with you now. They never left you, as you never left them.
I...I will. And that was all I needed. I looked across the stream of brilliant lights that flowed through the waters of life. The reverberating streams that spewed the bubbles that held the near-infinite times. Micah was nearing one—just before I threw myself into The Pit we had overseen a time that resembled ancient Grecian wars. There he held the name Styx and acted as the destroyer god. I was given the name Acheron and was given the role of creator god. I remembered how strong I felt inside that world—just like an omnipotent being, but after we leave and the universe ends our powers are stripped just as our memories are. Micah has no recollection of being Styx, and at first I had no recollection of being Acheron or of any of the people I knew in there,
Now I see this place for the prison it truly is—forced to repeat our actions for eternity never to remember them. Forced to kill and to save and to always...always fight. I've been fighting Micah ever since I was dragged into that ruined future he came from...but that is exactly the thing that's been holding the both of us back. It's the fact that we've both been denying—that we're both Gavin Daniels.
He may have shed his name and I may have renounced his actions, but at the end of the day I am him and he is me. And as long as we fight—clash, kill, maim, save—we're only living up to our roles in this prison. I'm done playing a part. I'm done fighting myself—hating who I have become in his time—hating who I was in mine.
I floated closer toward Micah, a dark aura with two tentacle-like appendages on his sides. "Ah, hello, who are you?"
I smiled. He couldn't have seen it, because I was just like him, but I imagined that the effect of my human smile shone through, because I could feel a response in my core. "I'm someone you have been fighting with for a very long time, but I think it's time we make up and go home."
"Home? Fight? I don't understand..."
"That's okay, I just want you to know I forgive you."
"Oh...okay. I forgive you too!"
I moved closer to Micah, but a thunderous roar bellowed out all around us—shifting the luminescent tides.
"What do you think you are doing, Acheron?" Father boomed.
I looked up toward the sky, a boundless swathe of shifting color. "You don't have to play pretend anymore and use made up names. In fact we all don't, Friedrich."
"That was only my name while I was present on Earth...I see. You disobeyed me and entered The Pit. I am surprised you are still alive."
"You of all people should know the first thing about children," I said back. "If you tell them not to do something then you've guaranteed that they will. But then again I'm not your child, anyway, so I guess you can just chalk it up to the whole defying a creator thing that's all the rage these days."
"Defying?" Micah asked.
"Ah, yes. I really should ream you out for fucking over his mind again and again," I said. "I'm going to take over what you're supposed to do and fix what you've broken."
"You know nothing." Friedrich said.
"My name is Gavin Daniels. Son of Gregory and Lorraine Daniels, alternate incarnation to Gavin Daniels a.k.a. Micah, and if I recall correctly my family—my true family—stopped your grandson. Jack is dead and rotting inside the afterlife you so protect. Your plans for him failed."
"I foresaw everything—"
"You didn't do anything. That existence that holds everybody's memories did all the work and you're here to claim credit."
"How dare you speak to me like that?"
"If you're so prophetic then you would have seen this all coming. You would have known that I was going to sneak my way into The Pit and reclaim myself. But you didn't, did you? You saw the future for so long that you got used to knowing everything that was going to happen. The Pit considered you useful and necessary for its survival—but now those tides have turned. You can't see anything anymore, can you, Friedrich?"
There was no answer for a long time. Micah sat beside me in a frozen silence. "What black magic have you casted..."
"I said what I said. You were never the creator of existence—you were just a tool to be used and then thrown away. You have two choices now. You let me reconnect with Micah and we take down The Pit and free all of those memories, or you try to lash out against me in rage at your own lack of worth and I kill you—take your place, then continue on with previously mentioned plan."
"I...will not...fade...away..."
"That's exactly what you're going to do if you don't help us out!"
"I WILL NOT FADE."
I sighed, "Well then just fucking try to do something about it and stop repeating yourself. My guess is as the dimension we're in you can't physically do jack shit to us or we'd be dead already from your childish tantrum."
More silence.
"What are you waiting for? Show us what you're literally made of, or go fuck off and let us go home. I'm done playing by your rules."
"That's...you can't say that to Father!" Micah said.
I turned to him, "Yes, yes I can. And you can too. Here, come closer and I'll show you what I know."
"Don't you dare," Friedrich said.
"And what the fuck are you going to do about it? Lecture me to death? We're already dead, Einstein." I reached out one appendage to Micah, who now looked frightened at all of this.
"I..."
"Take my hand...I promise you'll be okay."
"Don't do it, Styx," Friedrich warned.
"Your name isn't Styx, it's Gavin. Gavin Daniels, and I have the answers to all your questions."
"STOP MANIPULATING HIM."
"C'mon, just take my hand," I said.
In an instant mine and Micah's lights touched and the force of a sonic boom erupted throughout the waves. We melded together and I thought it right to restore my—our body.
We floated together above the sea—dirty blond hair and hetero-chromatic eyes glistening straight up toward the sky. We were stark naked, but we were proud to be in a body to bare again. I felt a rush of Micah's memories deep into me—as if our body willed them from The Pit. There were feral roars deeper and scarier than Friedrich's voice. The Pit didn't like losing another soul. The waves ebbed higher and higher.
"Look at what you've done—you're never supposed to upset it like that!" Friedrich said.
"Well I'm going to keep doing it until you do something to stop me! I know a few friends I'd love to rescue from that cesspool of nothingness. What are you going to do to stop it? I know that the both of us together can unlock the universe I was blocked from entering before. What power do you even have?
My goading worked. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but instantly the air cracked with energy. The waves lashed and dragged me under. I fell through and landed hard on a stony surface. The water receded and I was left lying on the peak of a gargantuan mountain overlooking the boundless space of mingling lights. A black figure swung past my view faster than I could keep up. It was a gigantic hoof the size of the mountain I was on, easily. I followed the hoof up the leg to the underside of a beast.
Another leg lifted up and rose up over the mountain, "I SHALL SPLIT THOSE MEMORIES OUT OF YOU AND CRUSH THEM INTO NOTHING."
It hurtled toward me and in a panic I jumped back and almost fell, but Micah and Heather inside me supported me upright. As I propelled upward past the beast's underside I looked up to see the totality of the beast—but even my speed wasn't enough to see where it ended. I could see the tips of golden-scaled wings that flapped powerful gusts of wind at me. I shook but was steadied as I continued upward until I finally saw the rest of the creature in full, terrifying detail; The body was that of a camel's with humps as large as mountains on its back, but shooting out of its side were four wings of pure gold. Its face pivoted like an owl's and I could see the head was that of a lion's with a golden mane.
"YOU WERE LESS THAN AN INSECT BEFORE I TOOK YOU IN." Friedrich roared. "NOTHING BUT AN AFTERTHOUGHT IN THE OCEAN OF THE UNIVERSE."
I knew I had a penchant for getting the last word in, but this was too heavy a price to pay to risk dying here. I ignored him and continued flying higher.
It felt like I was in a dream—like I'd be stirred awake any second to realize that this was just some terrible nightmare that had only lasted the course of a few hours-but-felt-like-forever. It wasn't, but that didn't change how dream-like it felt to actually be flying. My hair blew back as I reached higher and higher.
Heh. I imagine if there was a sun here it'd be hot enough to melt the glue holding my wings together—but today there will be no melting. Heather and Micah were holding me steady and they weren't going to budge an inch.
Finally I reached the height I wanted and arced back downward—straight toward the beast. If I went fast enough I might be able to pierce his hide—after all, only its wings were made of scales. There definitely seemed to be flesh on that body.
And flesh can be torn.
I suddenly saw a sight—a memory flashed in my mind of Andy; how he told me of a monster he fought in that game he was subjected to. It almost looked like this beast does now. I remember how he took that fictional monster down as well. I think it's only right I honor him by following in his footsteps.
I rocketed down to the nape of his neck just under his turned-head. The wind threatened to tear me to pieces in the descent, but I held together. I plunged through his flesh and felt his roars pierce my body. I sank into the ichor of the beast. It burned against my skin but I dug deeper until I slow to a stop inside. The blood all around swallowed me whole and darkness consumed me.
From darkness came a small child sitting cross-legged in front of a small puddle in a barren wasteland. He only stared at the puddle as a dark figure overlooked the child from behind. Neither of them moved—only remained as they were.
"You have come a long way," the child said. I realized he was talking to me, and in my confusion I realized I was there—physically there—with the child.
"Who are you?" I asked.
Finally, the child raised his head. Golden eyes looked straight at me and I knew his identity then and there. "Friedrich?"
"You shouldn't have angered The Pit. It is stronger than me. It is stronger than you. It is more than anything, and you've made it mad."
I looked back to the dark figure behind the child, waiting soundlessly. "Is that The Pit behind you?"
"I don't dare look. Because if I do then I will be sucked in like the rest of them. Everything in this universe I have right in front of me," he gestured out to the puddle, "...everything that exists is within the dimension between dimensions here."
"If that's the universe, where are we?"
He returned to staring at the puddle, "A visual metaphor. You're inside me, so I can show you inside of my mind."
"You have to realize that this whole thing isn't right. People matter—their lives and connections matter. How their stories end matters!"
"The only thing that matters is survival. And I survive by giving The Pit what it wants. If I turn around and look back I will no longer exist. You are bringing that closer to reality, and for what? To not exist yourself?"
"To save them!" I cried out. "To help the ones that I care about—to help all of them. That is what a god should do."
Friedrich offered a sigh, "I am not a god. I am..flawed...as a human would be. I lived as I wanted—irrespective to your morality, but I still lived. Yet I lived knowing the exact road my life would take, and I have known it since the day I came into existence. And I have known this day would come."
"You knew…?"
"Whether I like what I see or not. Whether I want what I see to happen or not, it comes eventually. You wondered how I could not see your betrayal coming? You wonder why you were able to slip under my attention? You wonder why you are allowed to get this far, and why what will happen next shall? Because it was imprinted on my being from the very day I came into existence. The Pit creates and recycles life in everything that it does. Nothing remains forever except for itself. That...is including myself."
"What...do you mean?"
"It means that it is time for me to be recycled. The Pit no longer has any use for my oversight. I did the tasks I was assigned, and have been here to nurture you and Micah until your awakening and ascension."
"I...I cannot accept that everything is predestined, Friedrich. I refuse to accept that!"
"Accept it, deny it. It means zero difference to The Pit," he shrugged. "Or to me for that matter. It's up to you now to follow The Pit's desires. I…
am
finished."
Friedrich slowly turned his head around completely without moving an inch and looked straight up toward the dark figure, and then vanished. The wasteland blinked out of existence and then I was returned inside the body of the beast which, too, no longer existed. There wasn't even any remains of the burns on my body from the blood. It was as if he was never here in the first place.
I have a bad feeling about this.
Sounds infiltrated my head in guttural, feral voices speaking languages I couldn't understand. I saw pictures of places that didn't exist and forms of figures that couldn't settle on one shape. It felt like a crowbar was prying my mind open and it finally broke free worming its way into my mind—translating—re-coding—seeing—watching—accepting. Bonds of fire burnt around my wrist and a crown of voices swirled around my temple. I felt a power surge within me and knew instantly what Friedrich had said—at least in part—had been true.
He was gone—vanished into the depths of The Pit, and I remained as its new—recycled overseer. I was its new plaything until I, too, would be thrown into the trash for some new, poor soul. I am not going to let that happen. But first...the first thing I'm going to do is...save my friend.
I don't know how I know, but I do know that my world is in danger. Danger that Friedrich was allowing. Danger that threatened people I love and care about.
Danger that I will put an end to.