Chapter Four.

After my 'introduction' to the whole class, Santiago led me to the clinic for a quick check up. He is gentle and careful with me until we reached the clinic. Their clinic is good and an A+ concerning their cleanliness and equipment.

A not so long after the check up my mom came rushing by. She got this worry on her face but it subsided the moment she saw me.

She talked with the clinic personnel for quite some time while Santiago and I were waiting outside.

There are some kids who'll spare us some glances and talk but nevertheless, everything's cool.

Santiago bid his goodbye to me after my mom went to us. She said that the doctor advised her to let me rest and call it a day, since my brain needs its rest. It seems like my brain was stressed and tired. She also told me to talk to her when I remember something from my past or something like that.

Like she will tell me something.

As far as i remember, she didn't really give me a decent answer when I talked to her about me remembering some fragments of my past. I clearly remember how she smiled and told me I'll remember something soon.

Yeah mom that helps.

The both of us went home since I needed ‘rest’.

The moment we stepped in the house, she immediately called for my helper. It's not like i can't go to my room or anything. I just bid my thank you’s to my helper before I headed to my room.

I'm not really tired so i decided to go for a bath.

I first open the faucet of the tub. I leaned in and stared at the bubbles that it's making due to the impact of the water, for a couple of minutes and when I felt the slight soreness of my back because of my posture, I decided to stand up straight before heading to the bathroom sink.

Then for the second time, I stared at myself at the mirror this time.

I smile.

“Im proud of you. So proud. You may be lost and searching in the dark, but I'm glad you’re alive and getting better.” i smiled bitterly and thought of my mother, “you can do this, she’s just our support. she’s a walking question mark and we don't know her well yet, but we will.”

I smiled at myself one more time and gave myself a pat on my chest before stripping and getting into the warm tub.

I don't know myself either. I don't have any memory with myself but the afraid and always anxious Desiree. Who am i before? Was my whole past all about running? If so, that’s sooo sad.

What are my likes and dislikes? Do I like sweets? What are my hobbies? Do I have friends? Was I happy before the abusing incident? What was my father’s deal? Why is he like that? Does he dislike me that much? Or he’s just doing that just because my mother left him? What was our family before? How did we become like this?

I'm not even sure if i'm a Fairchild nor Cacerres.

It's so funny that I have all these questions that have no answers.

I feel lost whenever I'm thinking about it, I feel nothing but betrayal and bitterness.

When I woke up in the hospital, everything ached.

More questions.

All of the people that’s in my hospital room -- I can't see their faces. It's all blank and faceless. I see nothing but concern, relief and tears from some emotions I can't name.

My head was blank and dark.

Then suddenly, there’s this woman who claimed herself as my mother. I didn't even know her face, her face was not registered in my memory list.

She’s with two elderly couples and two more ladies. The rest are all nurses and doctors.

The doctor said it was a miracle that I lived after being comatosed for 2 years. It was a miracle because I was covered with almost healed bruises, scars, healed-wounds and broken bones. Dislocated arm, broken ribs and a tumor.

I almost laughed.

“Life is a big challenge and struggle indeed. It’s also surprising that i'm still not crazy with all that ive been through.” i chuckled and started doing my things.

I took a long bath and after that, I felt refreshed and tired. There’s no sunlight in my room anymore and it's dark outside.

It took me that long? I enjoyed it though.

I closed all the curtains and turned on my dimmed lights.

Now i want to sleep.

I went to my closet and grabbed one of my pajamas.

I still have a lot of scars and it kinda looks ugly. I need to hide them all. I also have a few in my hands and if i could hide them, i would but unfortunately, wearing gloves will make me look ridiculous. I stared at my hands for a few seconds before patting it out of my sight.

I was about to rest but I heard a quiet knock. Before I could say anything, mom went in.

“Desiree, are you going to bed now?” she sat on my bed.

She’s still wearing what she is wearing earlier. I didn't see where she went before I went to my room. Did she eat her dinner already? I hope she did.

“I was about to” does she need something?

“You won't be having dinner? You have visitors downstairs. But I could tell them to just come back tomorrow?” she said hesitantly.

“I have?” really? Who might that be?

“The Santiagos are downstairs. They are here to check on you. Do you want to meet them?”

“I'll be right there, I’ll just get better clothing” i said then went to my closet.

She stands up and heads towards the door, ready to go out.

I heard the door closed.

I sigh.

As much as I don't like new people, it's rude to send them away. Especially when they really bothered to go here just to check up on me.

I grabbed the decent clothing that will cover my scars then I combed my hair and put a little color on my face with lip balm and face powder.

There, presentable.