Miserable Man

The meal was good. If only I could chew properly and swallow my food easily. Eating with three strangers is awkward, especially if you know they are not on good terms. Somehow, we all ate the food we set on our plates. Nobody was even speaking. It was as if we all knew starting a conversation was pointless. 

Zyren stood as soon as he ate his late lunch.

"Let's just talk in my study room," he said while looking at me.

Cedric and Lou froze.

Then, they speak at the same time.

"Is that necessary?" Cedric asked.

"Can we come in?" Lou said.

Cedric is still in denial while Lou is in the bargaining stage.

Zyren looked at them, but he did not speak a word.

I stood and followed him to his torture chamber. To his study room, I mean.

While walking in the hallway, I saw a glimpse of the room we were about to enter. Still, I could not believe what I saw once I entered it. Zyren let me in first. He acts like a complete gentleman before he closes and locks the door.

The frame on the wall was slanted. 

Throw pillows scattered on the floor.

Teacups and pots are at the center table, and the stains are dry already. And some chairs were scattered, of course. The curtains were thick and blocking the light of the day. The items within that room were still intact. And there is a lot of paper on the desk. 

"You may sit."

I almost said no thanks. I was still in awe of how unorganized this guy was. 

What happened to his discipline and habits? 

I stood there and stared at some crumpled paper on the floor near him.

It was a spacious yet messy room, but I guess it represents what Zyren felt inside. 

I hope he will clean it up soon.

"Are you afraid of me?"

"Huh? No. I'm okay standing here."

He is really like a tiger. Cold. Unemotional.

When he went to his seat, I no longer knew if I was still okay. To deny what I know and to bargain seemed useless at this point. And when I felt I could no longer do anything in any situation, there is one thing I often do. 

"Laurie! Yell my name if you need help. We will destroy the door and get you out of here!!!" 

Cedric was yelling from the outside. I felt more embarrassed than pacified.

"I assume they already told you how terrible I am as their guardian."

"Yes. Your cousins said you were strict."

"Do not let him touch you!" 

This time, Lou was shouting.

"I don't think we can talk properly while those two worry about you."

"Y-yeah…" I said while being unsure if I should agree.

But he does have a point. Those two will probably put their ears on the door. And it seemed like Zyren was also thinking what I was thinking.

"Go ahead. You can yell back," Zyren said while staring.

"Let's just get this over with," I told him.

He raised his thick eyebrows and seemed surprised I was eager to be punished. Or was tortured the correct term? 

"Will you erase my memories?"

"So you knew."

"They told me."

"And their abilities?" he asked.

"Yes."

"What's your full name?"

"Why?"

"'Cause I want to know the stranger that might cause me trouble." 

I look away. Somehow, the arrogant tone is pissing me off.

He was intimidating. He looks like an uncivilized man hiding in nice clothing. I do not need to be a fashion guru to know that his sweatshirt and jeans are as good or as expensive as those models I saw in a fashion show. The fabric is specialized. If he chose those clothes, I am guessing he is vain. And a bit lacking in self-confidence.

Or maybe I am just trying to make my mind wander to avoid panic. 

No matter what they told me, Zyren did what he could as a guardian. And I could not argue with his rules because I am the intruder, an outsider they still need to figure out.

"Since you'll be deleting my memory, it is best if you no longer remember my name."

"Please sit, Ms. Laurie."

I sat on the sofa near the door.

"I mean here." 

He was pointing to the chair next to his office table.

"I prefer here, thank you."

"Even if you manage to run away. I will hunt you down if I find out you are a threat to my family." 

He said that calmly and with clarity. But it was also obvious he was running out of patience. So I sit in front of him like a good puppy.

"What do you know about our family?"

"Cedric is a mind reader, Lou is a time traveler, and you happen to boss them around."

I know I said I understood his side. But I no longer want to get too involved with their family issues. Everyone has their limits. The fake calm persona I have right now is quickly disappearing.

"Do you realize what situation you are in, Ms. Laurie?"

"Do you realize how rude you are, Mr. Zyren?" 

"What makes you say that?"

Again, I stood in front of him.

"To put it bluntly, we are both wasting our time here. I am not here to negotiate or beg. I only want this done. I already know you wanted to control everyone, and you prefer to make it stay that way—"

"I am protecting them," he said to cut me off.

"Well, it seemed controlling for me. Anyway, you..." He got distracted as he sat comfortably on his chair and intertwined his fingers. "You are not listening to me, aren't you?"

"You are interesting. I understand now why the two like you."

He was smiling. But if compared to Cedric, his smile seemed insulting.

"You are irritating. No wonder nobody can love you." 

I froze.

It was complete silence after that.

And the room suddenly felt cold despite the sudden sweat my body was producing.

See? That is why I do not want to get involved with other people.

I can get as emotional as Cedric and as rude as Lou. It was a terrible combination.

Zyren placed his elbows on his desk while his chin rested on his hands.

"What else did they tell you?" 

Now I am scared. My source of anger was gone the instant I said those words. I forgot to stay calm. I became impatient because I no longer wanted to stay in that place.

"I am asking you a question," he said calmly. But his stare is as cold as ice.

"That… you hypnotize a girl to love you. They only told me her name. I did not ask for any details."

Again, there was a deafening silence.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I should not have said that."

"Right," he said while sitting back on his chair.

He seemed angry. 

He lets out a sigh and tries to compose himself. 

Zyren was still hurting. And I know I should have shut my mouth. But I could not.

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?" his voice seems tired.

"Hypnotize someone to make her fall for you? You can make yourself more presentable, you know. Like a make-over?"

"Connie does not go for looks," he said as if I insulted Connie. "If she does, then she should have chosen me."

Eh? What does that mean?

"Well, as you said, since I am going to erase your memory about us, it does not matter if I tell you my story," Zyren leaned forward as if he was about to share his secrets. 

And I could not help but be intrigued.

"She was in love with somebody else."

"So, you hypnotize her because your ego could not take it?"

"She was my childhood friend," he said as if defending himself. "I cared for her despite the years we were apart. She falls in love with a guy who does not suit her. They were already engaged when I saw her again. I was supposed to forget about her when they had an accident. I took it as a sign that it was my chance since her fiancé went missing. I hypnotized her and told her we were in love with each other. I even propose to her. Everything was fine when her fiancé showed up at my apartment." 

"I assume that you did not give her up so easily."

"Would you give away something that you thought you deserved?" 

"I'm used to giving than taking."

"Well, I did give Connie back. She asked me to tell the truth. I could no longer lie. And that was the most stupid decision I made in my life. She cried and hated me that day. She said she could never forgive me. So I made her forget everything about me."

"Why?"

"Because not knowing me would make her happy."

Now, that was sad.

Some people would say not to give up. And to keep on trying. But for me, letting go is not a bad thing. It was only a sad thing to do when we realized we no longer wanted something or someone to be part of our life.

I often wonder why other people could not easily choose what to have and not to have. Was it a lack of courage or strength?

For Zyren, he knew he was the one that needed to let go. He made a mistake. And he tends to correct—or rather erase that mistake since there was no point in making the love of his life remember him. I wish I could say he was a coward for running away from Connie. But he still carries the burden of his past as his punishment.

"Do you still love her?"

"No. But I will always remember what I did."

"Why not erase your memory of her as well? Wouldn't that be fair?"

Zyren looks at me. "I don't deserve it." 

"I see. You'd rather live a miserable life than forgive yourself for what you did in the past."

"I'm not living a miserable life."

I smiled at him. "Yeah. Right. Keep telling yourself that."

He seemed to be contemplating what to say to me. Or rather, he seemed shocked by what I just said.

"Did you have sex with her?"

"Are you seriously asking me the details of my sex life?"

"I just thought if you did sleep with her, then she had every right to hate you aside from what you have done."

"She was still healing her injuries and wounds. So we could not do it even if we wanted to. Now, stay still."

He stood and walked toward me. He held both sides of my head and looked at me directly.

I should be scared. I really should be. Right? But I stared back despite knowing what he was about to do.

"Zyren, you should have known better when to stop caring too much. If someone cannot love you back, let them be. Go and find someone else. That would be hard, sure. But it will always be the best choice. Anyway, thank you for sharing your secrets with me."

I closed my eyes and no longer waited for his reply.