Guide Me If You Dare

[THE WAY TO AN ESPER'S HEART IS THROUGH HIS DICK.]

Noh Yuno knew that their convenience store's motto was quite problematic, but what could he do?

I'm just a part-timer here.

Unfortunately, there were customers who couldn't get that through their thick skulls.

"Kiddo, when will you take that stupid sign down? The Awakened World is dominated by men, but lady Espers exist, too," the lady Esper, who was a frequent customer, complained while putting the little basket on the counter. "We don't have dicks, but we also have 'balls of steel' just like the male Espers who enter dungeons and fight monsters."

Right?

Most Espers were tall and muscular— and the lady Esper in front of Yuno was no different.

I envy this noona1's broad shoulders and muscular arms.

"Customer-nim2, I understand your sentiment," Yuno said while scanning a pack of HoneyMoon Condom, and then a tube of HoneyMoon Gel. "Unfortunately, I'm just a part-timer here."

Yuno even pointed at the yellow vest he was wearing as a reminder.

The yellow vest had the store's logo: honey dripping from a crescent moon.

Because our convenience store is called 'HoneyMoon.'

"Tell me when your boss is back," the lady Esper said. "I'll talk to him."

"Yes, Customer-nim. My boss entered a dungeon last week, but he'll be out soon," Yuno said politely, handing the bag to the customer while bowing. "Thank you for your patronage."

The lady Esper just smiled and waved her hand before leaving the store.

Haaah.

Yuno stretched his arms when the convenience store finally became quiet and "safe" again.

To be honest, working as a part-timer at HoneyMoon was scary since most of their customers were Espers.

After all, their convenience store was a convenience store built for Espers and Guides.

To be precise, they had the items often needed by Espers and Guides for their— uhm— 'Bonding Time.'

Like…

Condoms.

Lubricants.

Sex Toys.

No, we're not an adult shop.

Well, HoneyMoon also sold snacks and drinks with libido-boosting supplements— but, no. That wasn't the point.

We're still a convenience store, okay?

That was a hill Yuno would die on.

<"Breaking News!">

Hmm?

Yuno picked up his phone and watched the news.

As someone working in a dangerous place, he made it a habit to check the news in his free time.

Unfortunately, breaking news often means bad news.

<"After the S-Class Esper Ki Gayoon went on a Rampage last week, another high-ranking after his Guide died during current Dungeon Break!">

Yuno gasped out loud. "A Dungeon Break?"

A Dungeon Break was an occurrence where a neglected Gate— aka the door to dungeons— would burst and release flesh-eating monsters.

"Where…?"

Yuno immediately checked where the Dungeon Break was happening, and was immediately relieved after seeing that the area was far from his current location.

Whew.

Fortunately, the Dungeon Break happened in the east of Seoul.

The high-ranking Espers will eliminate the monsters, but…

"Poor Esper," Yuno whispered to himself, talking about the Esper who went on a Rampage. "What will happen to him now that his Guide is dead?"

"If the Esper and the dead Guide were Imprinted to each other, then the Esper would die soon since he could never find another Guide again. But if they weren't, then all the Esper has to do is find a new Guide and he'll be fine eventually."

"I see…"

Oh, wait.

Yuno immediately hid his phone in the drawer and bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Customer-nim."

"It's alright, Yuno-ssi3."

Hmm?

Yuno raised his head. "How did you know my name, sir?"

The customer was a petite man— who was probably around 170cm, just a bit shorter than Yuno who stood 175cm tall— with bubblegum pink hair.

He looks familiar, but then again, most Guides look pretty and cute.

If it wasn't for the white uniform with the logo of the National Guide Bureau that the customer was wearing, Yuno would have mistaken him for a student.

He's a Guide.

A beautiful Guide, at that.

"There," the beautiful Guide said, pointing at Yuno's name tag. "Your name is written there, Yuno-ssi."

Oh, right.

Yuno's face burned from embarrassment, so he just bowed and changed the topic. "Can I help you with anything, Customer-nim?"

"I'm actually looking for an Item that could only be found in this store."

"Yes?"

"HoneyMoon Dew," the beautiful Guide said with a gentle smile on his face. "Yuno-ssi, can I get a bottle of S-Grade HoneyMoon Dew?"

Oh.

The HoneyMoon Dew was the highest-grade aphrodisiac sold in the store.

It was their most expensive and most precious Item, and they only had one bottle left for this month.

Hence, it was hidden from the customers.

That's why only the manager and I know where the last bottle of HoneyMoon Dew is hidden.

Buying it was possible, however…

"I'm sorry to ask this, but who's going to use the HoneyMoon Dew, sir?" Yuno asked carefully. "Our store policy dictates that we can't sell the HoneyMoon Dew to just anyone to prevent resellers from getting a hand on our precious aphrodisiacs."

The beautiful Guide tilted his head to one side as if he was confused. "Why?"

"Well, the store policy says it's to protect Guides from being sexually assaulted by Espers," Yuno explained patiently. "But I believe the story policy should be revised and add 'vice-versa' to that rule. After all, Espers could be sexually assaulted by Guides, too."

Their store's aphrodisiacs wouldn't work on Civilians— only on Awakened ones.

An S-Grade HoneyMoon Dew was a strong aphrodisiac enough to even get an S-Class Hunter "high."

Tsk.

I don't know why my boss made a concoction that could easily be abused and misused by the wrong people.

It was even more shocking that it got approved by the National Alchemy Agency.

"I'm going to use the HoneyMoon Dew with my partner," the beautiful Guide said. "My partner is a high-ranking Esper, so we need an S-Grade HoneyMoon Dew."

"This is really awkward to say, but I need your partner to be physically here as well, sir."

"And if he can't make it because he's in a dungeon?"

"Then I need written consent signed both by the Esper and the Guide who will use the HoneyMoon Dew, sir," Yuno explained to the customer politely. "Ideally, we prefer it if both the Esper and the Guide are present when buying the S-Grade HoneyMoon Dew. But in case only one of you can be here physically, then we require written consent from the missing party. Just to let you know, our store has an Item that can detect whether the written consent form was forged or not."

"You're too strict," the beautiful Guide complained. He was still smiling, but his eyes showed mild irritation. "Yuno-ssi, do you know how important a Guide is to a high-ranking Esper who's on the verge of a Rampage?"

"Yes, sir," Yuno said politely. "Guides are the only people who can stop Espers from going on a Rampage."

"Very well. So, do you know why Espers go on a Rampage?"

"Espers lose their minds when they use their abilities past their limits. During their Rampage, Espers become violent and more dangerous than the monsters they kill."

"And what can stop Espers from their Rampage?"

"Guides," Yuno answered patiently. He knew why the beautiful Guide was giving him a "pop-up quiz," but he had no choice but to play along. "Only Guides have the power to calm Espers via physical contact. Basic skinship includes holding hands and hugging. Sometimes, kissing. But if the matching rate between an Esper and a Guide exceeds 75%, then they can go all the way."

"All the way? Elaborate."

"They can have sex. Fortunately, only a few Espers and Guides have that kind of matching rate."

"So, you do know what kind of relationship Espers and Guides have."

"Of course, sir," Yuno said indifferently. "It has been fifteen years since the Doomsday happened."

The 'Doomsday' referred to the day the Gates appeared and brought hell on earth.

"Everyone— whether they are Awakened or simple Civilians— understands the unique relationship between an ESPER and a Guide by now."

Well, everyone understood but not everyone accepted it.

The conservative ones— especially the elderly— still can't accept same-sex relationships even after the world almost ended once.

And the issue about whether 'Guiding' was ethical or not wouldn't die even now.

Many people still see Guides as 'sex workers' because of the nature of the service they provide to Espers.

"Yuno-ssi, you know all of that and yet you still won't sell the HoneyMoon Dew to me?"

"I'm sorry, sir," Yuno said formally. "Our store policy—"

"Will you be responsible if my Esper goes on a Rampage?"

Oho?

The beautiful Guide was threatening Yuno with a "gentle" smile on his face.

It was a bit scary, but…

"Sir, if your partner— a high-ranking Esper as you claimed earlier— is on the verge of Rampage, why would you need an S-Grade HoneyMoon Dew then?" Yuno asked bluntly. "An Esper close to losing their mind has increased sex drive. They need to be in physical contact with their Guide— not take a high-grade aphrodisiac. In fact, I don't think you should be wasting your time arguing with a mere part-timer, sir. To be honest, I don't get paid enough to deal with stubborn customers like you."

The beautiful Guide flinched, but he didn't lose his fake smile.

That reaction…

I hit the bull's eye.

"Noh Yuno," the beautiful Guide called Yuno's name, suddenly dropping the honorifics and the polite talk. His "gentle" smile also turned a bit icy. "I'll remember this humiliation."

Yuno bowed his head politely. "Thank you for your patronage, Customer-nim."

***

TODAY is a bad day.

"Why are being slow? Just grab everything you need!"

"Y-Yes, Hyung4-nim…"

Haaah.

Yuno didn't want to get in trouble since his shift was ending in forty minutes, so he tried his best not to look in the direction of the high-ranking Esper and his Guide who had entered the store just a few moments ago.

He could tell that the Esper was high-ranking because of his uniform.

He's from a famous guild that only accepts A-Class and S-Class Espers.

"Hey, ring me up."

Yuno was a bit startled when the high-ranking Esper tossed a pack of condoms, a tube of lube, and a Black Card (a credit card with no limit!) on the counter.

Rude.

The high-ranking Esper was wearing a face mask that covered his face, but his glowing red eyes suggested that he badly needed Guiding.

Espers' eyes turn red when they're low on Mana.

And Mana was the source of strength for Espers.

That means this Esper is like a ticking bomb that can explode at any moment.

Anyways, the (rude) high-ranking Esper looked familiar to Yuno. But he was too afraid to steal glances from the Esper to confirm his guess since the Esper looked like a jerk.

Let's just do our job quietly.

So, Yuno just scanned and packed the items in silence. And when it was time to return the customer's credit card, he finally raised his head…

… and his blood pressure immediately rose.

The pretty Guide with the Esper was obviously young.

He looks like he's barely twenty years old while the Esper is pushing thirty.

"He's twenty years old— legal and officially registered as a Guide."

Yuno flinched when the masked Esper spoke as if he could read his mind.

Even though the Guide is of legal age and properly registered as an Awakened, he still looks scared.

As if the Guide was forced to be with the Esper.

It was just a gut feeling, but Yuno's gut feeling was never wrong.

Argh.

Unfortunately, Yuno didn't have the right to meddle.

And the Esper was scary— handsome(yes, he looked handsome even with the mask), but scary nonetheless.

It was a waste of good looks.

Moreover…

The Esper seems to be on the verge of a Rampage, so he needs Guiding before he explodes.

So, Yuno could only avoid his eyes when he made eye contact with the young Guide.

The kid looks like he's silently asking for help.

Haaah.

Yuno wanted to mind his business.

He really wanted to.

But the young Guide reminded him of an old friend.

Yuno gathered the courage to follow the Esper and the Guide with his gaze.

The two entered the black car parked in front of the convenience store.

And then the black car started to shake…

Seriously?

Ah, fuck it.

Yuno grabbed his phone and dialed 123— the emergency line exclusive for issues related to Espers, Guides, Gates, and monsters.

<"This is 123. What's your emergency?">

 "An Esper on the verge of Rampaging is about to beat up a poor part-timer."

<"Can you please elaborate, sir?">

"The soon-to-be crime scene is the HoneyMoon Convenience Store, and the exact location is…"

After Yuno gave the dispatcher his exact location, he ended the call.

Then he left the convenience store and went straight to the black car, knocking on the window with urgency.

The black car stopped its "suspicious" movements, but the window didn't roll down.

They're probably hoping I'll go away, but I'm not going anywhere.

"Esper-nim, I called the cops on you."

That did the trick.

The window immediately rolled down, the Esper's angry face greeting Yuno.

"Why the hell did you call the police, kiddo?!"

"First of all, it's a crime to be so cheap you can't even bring your Guide to a nice hotel to do the deed," Yuno said bluntly. "Second, you just look like a criminal in my eyes."

That was how Yuno's big mouth got him beaten up by the Esper.

Fortunately, the police arrived before I got killed.

***

"KID, next time, just let the Espers and Guides do their thing. They are allowed to do it anywhere, especially in emergencies like the Esper on the verge of a Rampage."

Of course, Yuno was scolded by the police.

Yep, he went to the police station after dropping by the hospital to get his wounds treated.

Fortunately, the Esper held back so I only have busted lips and a black eye.

But, unfortunately, the Esper that he reported was no longer there because, apparently, the Esper was a big shot.

I knew he looked familiar.

"What happened to the young Guide, ma'am?" Yuno asked the lady officer politely, ignoring the old man— er, the officer who scolded him earlier. "Was he sent home?"

"Kim Jaeha, the young Guide you saw, was indeed a registered Guide," the lady officer answered formally. "However, it seems like the kid's uncle sold him off to his current guild. It's practically human trafficking, so we reported it to the National Guide Bureau."

Yuno wanted to ask for more details, but his phone rang.

It was Lee Haerin— the convenience store's manager who was in charge of the night shift— so he excused himself before picking up the call.

"Yes, Boss?"

<"Yuno, our store was robbed!">

"Huh?"

<"The thieves stole our S-Grade HoneyMoon Dew!">

Dammit!

"Don't worry, Boss," Yuno assured Lee Haerin while clenching his hands tight. "I'll get our Item back."

***

SINCE the last bottle of the HoneyMoon Dew was precious, Yuno's big boss— the owner of the HoneyMoon Convenience Store— put a tracking device on it.

Fortunately, the thief hadn't discovered the device yet.

And that was how Yuno got to the newly-built apartment complex in a sketchy neighborhood.

To be precise, that area was owned by an infamous gang.

Yes, gangsters still exist in this day and age.

Because there's an infamous S-Class Esper leading them.

Yuno actually thought he'd be blocked by gangsters, but it didn't happen.

In fact, the gangsters that he was expecting to attack him for trespassing their territory were all knocked out on the ground as if they were ambushed.

Wow, the danger was real.

If someone was strong enough to ambush those Esper-gangsters and succeed, then the assailant must be pretty strong.

I guess I have no choice but to prepare.

Yuno pulled out a candy from his pocket and put it in his mouth.

The candy tasted like honey because it was a candy manufactured by HoneyMoon.

Anyways, it wasn't a candy.

It was an edible Item that would hide Yuno's presence temporarily.

Plus, it would also boost his physical strength and agility for thirty minutes.

And now we're set.

Yuno sent his exact location to Lee Haerin first, then he put a face mask on and wore a hoodie before entering the apartment complex.

There he found more thugs who were knocked out on the floor.

Fortunately, those people seemed to be asleep and not dead.

I can smell something strange in the air.

Yuno suspected that the thugs inhaled a poisonous gas that knocked them out instantly.

Fortunately, the face mask he was wearing worked better than a gas mask.

Because it's made by our company.

Yuno contemplated using the stairs.

His stamina, strength, and speed had increased, after all.

However, judging by the location of the HoneyMoon Drew that showed up on the screen of his phone…

Our precious Item seems to be in the penthouse of this apartment complex.

Hence, Yuno was left with no choice but to take the private elevator leading to the penthouse.

It's been tampered with already.

Usually, one would need to swipe a keycard or enter a passcode to allow a specific floor button to work.

But not this time.

The button for the penthouse floor was active when it shouldn't be.

Hence, Yuno just pressed the button casually.

Whoever is the intruder of this place, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for making my job easier.

It took him a few minutes before he reached his destination.

The elevator brought him directly to the penthouse's fancy foyer.

Why do they have to build a fancy apartment complex in a sketchy neighborhood surrounded by gangsters?

"Mmmhhh…"

Yuno stopped in his tracks when he heard, uh, someone moaning?

He was about to retreat, but he saw the glowing golden "dust" in the air that could only be produced by the HoneyMoon Dew.

They've already used our precious Item!

It was weird, though.

Why do I only hear one person making lewd noises?

Well, maybe the other person was just quiet…

… quiet as the dead?

Suspicious, but what if I'm wrong?

"Ah, Hyung… I want to see your pretty eyes… If only the aphrodisiac wasn't strong enough to knock you out…"

The hell?

That's it!

Yuno immediately marched towards the living room where he could hear the lewd noises coming from.

And there he saw it.

The pretty but creepy pink-haired Guide who threatened Yuno before…

… was standing while jerking off in front of a sleeping man half-sitting and half-lying on the sofa.

Shit!

The pink-haired pervert was almost naked— he was only wearing a white button-down shirt that looked too big for him.

It must be the victim's shirt.

After all, the victim was almost naked as well— the poor man wasn't wearing a shirt, his trousers barely clung to his hips, his zipper was open and his huge dick was out in the open.

Yuno thought the "sleeping" man was familiar, but he couldn't focus on his face.

His eyes were glued to the man's "package."

That's the biggest dick I've seen in my life.

But it wasn't the appropriate time to admire another person's junk.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Yuno asked angrily, pushing the perverted pink-haired Guide out of the way. "How dare you use our precious HoneyMoon Dew to sexually attack a person?!"

The pink-haired guy was barely pushed away even though Yuno was supposed to be really strong because of the "candy" he took.

I guess this pervert is a high-class Guide.

Guides, although they weren't built to fight monsters, were still Awakened people. Hence, Guides were physically stronger than Civilians— especially the high-ranking ones.

"Noh Yuno-ssi?"

Yuno flinched when the pink-haired Guide recognized him despite his face mask and hoodie.

Ah!

I forgot to use the voice changer!

What a rookie mistake.

"How did you find…" The pink-haired Guide trailed off as if he was hit by a sudden realization, and then he clicked his tongue. "The bottle or the box must have a tracker. I should have gotten rid of them before I used the aphrodisiac."

"So, it was you," Yuno asked through gritted teeth. "The thief."

"Leave now before I lose my patience, Noh Yuno. A Civilian like you has no business meddling between a Guide and an Esper's Bonding Time."

"Don't give Bonding Time a bad name— this is sexual assault."

"Excuse me?"

"Yes— drugging a person and molesting them in their sleep is sexual assault."

"I'm Guiding him!"

"Guiding an Esper without their consent still counts as sexual assault," Yuno insisted. "You're only allowed to do Forced Guiding when the Esper is on the verge of a Rampage. But, even then, you're not supposed to do sexual acts unless you have an appropriate matching rate."

"You must be thinking you already know everything about Guides and Espers just because you know a law or two related to us," the pink-haired Guide said in an eerily calm voice while walking towards him. "But, unless you're one of us, you won't understand the deep bond between a Guide and an Esper. So, get out of my way and let me guide that hyung. I wasn't lying when I said my partner was on the verge of a Rampage."

"No," Yuno said firmly. "I'm sure that Esper would rather lose his mind than get sexually assaulted in his sleep."

"You stubborn bastard—"

"And one doesn't need to be a Guide or an Esper to understand that touching someone— especially doing lewd things to them in their sleep, without their consent— is sexual assault."

"You're really going to regret crossing me—"

"What the fuck?"

Oh, god.

Yuno felt the hair at the back of his neck stand up when he heard the icy cold voice from behind him.

The victim was finally awake, and he seemed to be livid.

I mean, I would also be mad if I woke up almost naked while two dudes were arguing in front of me.

"Ho Jungwon, do you really want me to kill you?"

'Ho Jungwon?'

Yuno thought the name sounded familiar.

"Hyung, I'm doing this for you," the pink-haired Guide said nervously. "Plus, stop calling me by my old name. I'm 'Bambi' now."

Yuno almost choked on his saliva— the sound he made got the attention of the two.

'Bambi?'

There was only one high-class Guide named 'Bambi' in the entire country!

Guide Bambi is one of the only two S-Class Guides in Korea…

Why the hell didn't Yuno recognize Bambi?

Well, in my defense, his hair wasn't pink the last time I saw him on the news…

"If you really wish to die, then I'll kill you— right here, right now."

The next thing Yuno knew, he almost got crushed by the heavy and thick bloodlust that the Esper behind him suddenly released.

Fortunately, he ate a HoneyMoon "candy" earlier.

Even so, we're all dead if the Esper starts Rampaging.

Yep, this thick bloodlust was proof that the Esper was about to explode.

That kind of "malicious aura" would have made Civilians faint already.

Even Bambi, the S-Class Guide, fell on his knees. But he still had the strength to raise his head and glare at Yuno. "Hyung is about to explode! Help me get up so I can guide him properly! It's a Civilian's duty to assist Awakened People if they could!"

"When did I say I was a Civilian?"

"What?"

"It was only you who assumed I was a Civilian," Yuno said, pulling out his Awakened One Identification Card and wearing it around his neck. "I'm Noh Yuno, a Freelance Guide, and I'm about to perform Forced Guiding on an Esper on the verge of a Rampage."

He had to say that "spiel" because his ID worked like a body camera.

I need proof that I performed Forced Guiding only because it was necessary.

"A Freelance Guide?" Bambi asked in disbelief. "You mean, you're unaffiliated?"

Yuno just turned his back on Bambi because calming down the Esper on the verge of a Rampage was more important—

Hmm?

His trains of thought were interrupted when he was greeted by a pair of glowing red eyes.

Those bloody orbs belonged to the Esper on the verge of a Rampage.

He's already covered in a black haze.

"Another Guide?"

Yuno flinched when the Esper talked to him.

But it wasn't because of the Esper's angry voice— he flinched when the black haze covering the Esper's face disappeared when he opened his mouth.

That ridiculously handsome face…

Yuno took a step backwards, a bit scared after recognizing the Esper in front of him.

"You talked big earlier," Bambi said, scoffing at Yuno. "But can you handle Ki Gayoon— a natural S-Class, South Korea's disgrace, and the country's most dangerous Esper?"

The S-Class Guide only spoke the truth.

It's really Ki Gayoon.

The natural S-Class Esper just had a Rampage last week, and he was on the verge of another one again.

But Yuno wasn't surprised.

After all, Ki Gayoon was infamous for one thing.

"Just try to take a step closer and see what happens," Ki Gayoon warned Yuno, growling lowly like the apex predator that he was. "Guide me if you dare, you little shit."

Yuno should heed that warning.

After all, Ki Gayoon was known for three things— just like what Bambi said earlier:

A natural S-Class— Ki Gayoon was arguably as strong as the country's #1 Esper.

South Korea's disgrace— because Ki Gayoon wouldn't cooperate with the government if he wouldn't gain profits.

Lastly, Ki Gayoon was the most dangerous Esper in the country.

Most dangerous to the Guides, that is.

Ki Gayoon was scary, yes.

However…

"Challenge accepted," Yuno said, and then he literally threw himself at Ki Gayoon. "Resist my Guiding if you can, Ki Gayoon-ssi."

***

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