Finally Free

I don't remember being anywhere but here, these four grey walls being the first real memory I ever had. I remember the day I came into this place, the girls even recall the day I came. I came in kicking and screaming, my black curly hair shaking back and forth as my body fought to be free while I'm being carried by a huge man.

I just wanted to be let go of, to go back to the people I can't even remember anymore. I've tried and tried to remember but Delilah already told me that it's useless to force memories that want to stay hidden for my own happiness to be fulfilled. I remember wanting to go home so badly.

That never happened, the rules were that the man who brings you gets to take away your virginity immediately. Me, at the tender age of 4, I lost my virginity. I've seen many kids go through the same thing, girls or boys, girls are relatable. Anyways, the man who brought me was so tired of my kicking and screaming that he wanted to start the torture that would shut me up.

While I was kicking and screaming, he took control of my hands and legs, undressed my tiny body beneath his humongous one and held me down since he was strong enough to do so. That was the last time I was ever rough handled. This was the first day I experienced real bad pain, he raped me! That's the words the girls would use, I wouldn't put it that way.

I was young, I would never have done it willingly and never in that state either. I screamed when he finally claimed my virginity, my innocence. Then I went dead silent after a few seconds. The man left, the owner of the company comforted me! I cried silently while laying down but the next time that I had to do it again, I listened and was very obedient.

The owner of the company would say that I'm a quick learner. Some of the girls would gossip about me and claim that I wanted this to happen to me in the first place but the owner would disagree immediately. He says, "She's just obedient!" I prefer that comment! It's not my fault that at a young age I was brought here. I've decided to live with the cards that have been dealt to me.

I gotten into some trouble because of where I grew up. I learned to drink, smoke, do drugs and all that garbage. Then my savior came! A girl, Delilah, who was much older realized that there was someone she could pass some advice to, she stopped me from smoking, drinking and doing drugs. Sex can't be stopped as one of my bad habits since it's my job, men just come for all of us. Some prefer older ones, some prefer younger ones. "The ones that want younger girls are pedophiles," Delilah says.

I am very happy when I am around her but when I'm alone I cry. It isn't about the job. I don't mind it at all, it's all I know. My boss's son loves using me for his pleasure. Kyle his name is. He is a prostitutes son. His mother was later killed to cover that fact but not everyone is lucky enough to live especially in this business.

Kyle is 5 years older than me. He says, "I like the fact that your so easy." I wonder sometimes that if I was harder than they wouldn't want me, I would be free but I know that's not true. "Lavender!"Delilah shouts from outside my door while she knocks continuously. I jump up, my thoughts have run away, I make my way to the door and I open it. "Hey Lavender,"she says politely. "Hey Delilah,"I say happily.

My 14 year-old-self is happy that I'm no longer alone. "I'm going out tonight to some guy,"she says sadly. "So no movie night,"I complain sadly. "Yeah I'm sorry Lav,"she says apologetically. "I'll see you afterwards,"I say seriously. "Don't you have anyone tonight?"she asks seriously. "Yeah Kyle!"I say sadly. "I wish someone could destroy that child's confidence, it's time he knew who his mum was,"she says irritated.

I giggle. "Kyle is always after me and he's what, 19,"I say creeped out. "That boys weird!"another girl shouts while she walks down the hall. Me and Delilah laugh. "I don't know Delilah, I wish I could remember or even just see what you've gotten to see,"I say sadly. "What have I told you Lave? You'll get out of here but until then stop thinking about things you don't have or you'll never be happy,"she says kindly, pats me on the head and then walks out. I sigh deeply.

I hear another knock on my door. Kyle walks in. "Hey ready for some fun tonight?"he asks seductively. He walks into my room and closes the door. The air in the room tenses. If I'm caught with him by his dad we're so dead. "Lavender!"I hear his father shout outside my door. Kyle was so close to me at this moment, ready to claim me for the thousandth time. The thing is prostitutes don't kiss, he refuses for me not to kiss him!

Kyle quickly hides under my bed when his father opens the door. I smile brightly at my boss. "Um you have an appointment tonight!"he announces, I nod, he leaves. Kyle gets out from under the bed. "You have some time before then,"he says seriously. I sigh deeply.

"Why do you do this Kyle?"I ask seriously. "Because I can!"he says angrily and he roughly pushes me against the bed, holding my hands with his one hand above my head. He kisses me roughly, tearing the skin on my lips. He claims me like the many previous times before. I'm the one he had sex with first and ever since he was 12 and I was 7, he's never stopped having sex with me, he hasn't had sex with anyone else just me.

After he's had he's way with me, I fall asleep with him next to me but he leaves as quickly as he came. I'm only fourteen, I get tired of everyday life. 5 a day is a slow day, 8 a day is a good day for the business. After my last appointment for the day, Delilah comes and sleeps next to me, at the age of 23, she's been doing this since she was 3. At the age of 16, she met me, I was 7 at the time and heavily involved in drugs.

It was the best time of my life when she came into my life. Everything changed. We've been friends for 7 years now! She always takes care of me after an especially bad guy that wants more than regular sex, who wants the whole mojo.

I've been dealt very bad cards, the cards I have are getting better, I might just win!