Chapter 11

Jared

I wake with a start falling to the ground. Fuck that hurts. I blink slowly and wonder where I am and why I'm not in the hospital, when yesterday comes rushing back to me. I slowly get up and sit on the couch rubbing my tired eyes. I Look around for a clock of some type to see what time it is when I hear a scream. That's what woke me up. I run down the hall to the bedroom and open the door. I envision the worst possible scenario when I hear the scream again. What if those punks escaped and are coming after us again? I still don't know why they attacked us in the first place.

What I see puts me in a content yet panicked state. Laynie is having a nightmare. No one is here to hurt her. Except me. Something tells me I'm the reason behind the nightmare. I walk over to the side of the bed and stare at her. She seems to be stuck in some kind of painful dream and I'm not sure what to do. What if she is dreaming of me hurting her, and then goes into shock when I wake her? What if she screams so loud it wakes the neighbors? I know we live ways away from neighbors but I'm sure if she screams loud enough it may attract someone walking their dog or something.

I try to wait out her thrashing, when another scream erupts from her mouth. I can't take it anymore. I hate watching her writhe in pain in a bed that I'm sure holds painful memories for her as it is. I go to put my hands down on her shoulders to wake her when her eyes pop open. She looks at me with a sickening face and leaps out of bed. I jump out of her way, unsure of where she is going, when I see her run into an attached bathroom. I want to go to her to see if she is alright but I think I would just frighten her more, so I just sit on the bed and wait for her. After a few minutes, I hear the shower running and I take that time to look around our bedroom. Same thing as the living room, no pictures or any kind of trinkets showing where we have traveled. There is nothing showing our personality in this room. I see in the corner of, what I'm guessing is her side of the bed, a small blue blanket. I can't stop staring at it. When I go to get a better look at it, I hear the shower turn off. I stop in my tracks and shake my head. I need to comfort her not wonder about small blue objects.

When the door finally opens, she appears with a cloud of warm steam flowing behind her. She looks at me, then over to the closet. It takes me a second to realize she is in a towel and I'm blocking the availability to get clothed. I get up too quickly ready to flee the room when my ribs thrive in pain. I hunch over trying to do the breathing exercises nurse Candice taught me, when Laynie rushes over. She grabs my back and arm and starts massaging my back as I get my breathing in check. I'm alarmed of how much better I feel with her touching me. She has always had this effect on me. After I'm able to catch my breath I lean up and apologize to her.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Jared. I'm happy to help you get better." She says with a robotic voice. It feels like she is talking to a complete stranger. "I had a nightmare and when I awoke you just startled me, that's all."

With a small nod, I tell her I'll be in the living room. I hate that she was having nightmares. I hate that they are most likely about me and what I've done to her. I hate this whole damn thing. I feel the darkness crowding around the edges again but I push it back. I won't let that get the best of me while we have our first real day together. As I close the bedroom door and head down the hallway, another door catches my eye. It's the same door that Laynie blocked with her body when she was directing me to the bathroom yesterday. Could this be the guest bedroom Laynie mentioned had no furniture? I try the handle but the door is locked. There is a special lock on the outside that looks like it was recently added on. I briefly wonder why. If there is no furniture in this room why is the rest of the house furnished?

I turn around and Laynie is standing there with a nervous manner. She quickly covers her emotion with the same robotic one she has on standby, and walks over to me. I give her a confused look ready to ask her a question, when the doorbell rings. We both have a look of relief on our faces. I had forgotten that Alan was going to come over bright and early today. I give her a sad smile which she returns. We know we need to talk, but I think we both would rather not. I don't want to hear what I have put her through even though I need to, and she doesn't want to relive those moments even though she needs to get it out. I walk towards the door and check the peephole, just in case, what I see on the other side has me excited.

I call out Laynie's name and she comes over to me, head down once again. I make a mental note to start lifting that damn chin more. She needs to be the kind of woman that walks with her head held high and I will make it my life mission to make her one. She stands there with an almost worried look while I'm smiling at her like she just won the lottery. The doorbell rings again. I snap out of it and open the door wide. Laynie screams, jumps up and down and claps her hands. I am so enthralled with her, that I get almost knocked over by Anna running in the house doing the same thing, girls. Anna and Laynie have been friends since grade school. Same as me and Alan. I don't know why she is here or why they are suddenly crying but I can tell they are happy tears so I'm alright with it. Alan comes in and slaps me hard on the back, dick.

"Couldn't keep her away. I told her I was fully capable of helping you guys out this week, but little miss are you sure I don't need to fly out there, booked her ticket anyway." I laugh at his antics towards Anna. They have always teased each other.

The four of us didn't go to the same school together until high school and both me and Laynie thought that when we got together, they would eventually too. They are very much alike. They would just continuously say they were better as friends. I always saw the way they looked at each other though. To this day, I don't believe either of them when they say there is nothing going on.

"Yeah, well fuck me for trying to make sure my bestie is alright, right? Anna says is a mocking tone.

"No baby doll, fuck you for making me pick your sorry ass up last night at JFK. We are from Minneapolis. When you told me you were at JFK I thought your ass went to his grave."

We all throw our head back and laugh. Alan is a history major and last, I could remember, he was looking for a job teaching. He knows damn well there was an airport names after Kennedy. It doesn't hurt any less that I'm the reason they are here in the first place. I can tell it's been a while for all four of us being together and it's making me feel heartache for Laynie. She always did love getting together with our friends.

"Shut up asshole." Anna says rolling her eyes and turning back to Laynie. Anna has always had a mouth of a sailor. Part of the reason we always thought her and Alan were made for each other. "I'm just so happy I'm here with you, best friend. I know you didn't ask me to come, but I just couldn't spend any more time at the salon when I could be here taking care of you." She continues.

I look around, feeling a little out of place, I don't know what Anna is talking about and it's just making the situation harder for me. I feel like I don't belong here. Laynie turns to me wiping the happy tears from her eyes.

"Um, Anna has her own salon now. She got it a few months after we moved here." She says with her head down. "And Alan is now teaching at Northridge Academy." She adds, answering my question on whether or not Alan ended up getting a teaching job.

I'm starting to notice Laynie puts her head down when she doesn't want to tell me something and I think I know what that is.

"Wow, that's amazing Anna. I'm happy for you, that's always been a dream of yours. And Alan I'm proud of you man. Seems like both your dreams are a reality now." I say with a false smile. I feel like the odd man out. I have a feeling I wasn't very supportive of the two of them once they told us that their dreams had come true. Both Laynie and Alan are looking away and Anna is narrowing he eyes on me.

"Thanks J. Maybe you guys can come see it sometime." She says with a sarcastic attitude while crossing her arms over her chest.

It just confirms my previous thought. We have all been best friends our whole lives and me and Laynie weren't there when she opened her salon. It's only a three-hour flight from here to Minneapolis, but we didn't go. We weren't there for her, yet here she is here because she heard we had a break in. I'm assuming I'm the reason behind that.

Silence fills the room as we all look around for something to say. The elephant in the room is smothering the four of us. Finally, Alan says something. Thank God.

"Are you going to offer us some breakfast, or is Laynie going to make her world-famous eggs benedict? I mean it's not like either of you are hurt or anything." He says in a joking tone.

I give him a snort and head shake as I walk further into the living room where they are all seated and sit on the end of the sofa. Laynie is on the opposite end with Alan and Anna between us. Anna, still clinging to her best friend, starts talking to her in a quiet voice. I look towards the kitchen, getting ready to ask if they would rather go to breakfast when I'm reminded of my earlier thoughts.

"Hey Laynie?" I ask turning around to address her. "Don't you have to call your work and let them know you're not coming in this week?"

I know she called my office and spoke to someone named James about what happened to me. She didn't go into detail, just asked him to let the team know I wouldn't be at the site for a few weeks. She thought I was sleeping, but I spent a lot of that time closing my eyes pretending so I wouldn't have to face me being a monster to her for a whole fucking year.

Alan clears his throat, dragging me from my thoughts, and gives me a what the fuck? look. I shrug my shoulders at him and turn to Laynie. I see Anna is giving me the same look as Alan but hers has a slither of fuck you to it. I know Anna doesn't know about what I have put Laynie through because she would flew out here and dragged her away but, I think she might assume something given the evil eyes she keeps rolling my way.

"Um no Jared. I don't have anyone to call." Laynie says quietly. "I don't work."

She adds the last part in so quickly I almost miss it. She doesn't work? That seems strange. I can recall her being a sous chef in a nice restaurant when we were in Minneapolis, and when I proposed to her, she shared with me that she wants to open he own restaurant someday. Her passion for cooking was inspiring. Which is why I don't get why she wouldn't want to work at a restaurant in New York. Most people move here just get the chance to work in one of the restaurants in the city.

"What do you mean? You didn't want to work?" I ask. I'm afraid of the answer. I'm again praying I had nothing to do with this choice. I'm starting to think I should just keep my mouth shut. Anna scuffs at me and shakes her head slightly. She is starting to irritate me. I know she knows I don't remember shit, so I don't know why she is giving me these looks. The darkness is bordering on the edges again. I'm getting frustrated at guessing what has happened in the last year. I haven't taken my pills yet and am starting to think I should, just so I'm a little more docile. I told Alan it was the pills that made me snap at him yesterday, but it wasn't.

"No asshole, she doesn't work because you wanted your little wife to stay home and take care of your cave while you go and grunt and scratch your ass." Anna says angrily.

Alan laughs his ass off the whole time, Laynie turns about six shades of red, and as for me, I am once again trying to wrap my head around a concept. Ever since I woke up in the hospital it feels like I am constantly playing catch up. It feels more like I lost ten years of my life, not one. Things are completely different. It's making my head spin. I move my eyes from Laynie to Anna, who is still looking at me like I'm gum at the bottom of her shoe, when Laynie speaks up.

"Anna, you know he doesn't know that. It's not fair to put that on him. Plus, I am the one that never went and looked for another job." She says with that damn head down again.

I get ready to go to over and tilt it up, when I'm interrupted.

"Yes, I understand Lanes, but he turned into a douchebag since you guys have moved out here. He wasn't there when I opened my salon, didn't call when Alan got the job. Hell, he didn't even check to see if his best friend was alive after he got into that crash. Laynie, he wasn't even there when your mother died." Anna says staring daggers at me.

All this happened in a year? What's this about Alan getting in an accident? When I look to him he is no longer laughing. He has his head down almost shameful. I need to talk to him alone. Fine out what happened there. I am also floored by the last statement. Laynie's mother passed? I know Laynie and her mother never had, what you might call, a normal relationship. Cynthia Rowling was never the kind of woman that the word normal would be used in the same sentence. She was always cruel towards Laynie. She seemed to continuously blame Laynie for ruining her marriage with her father. Tommy hated how Laynie was treated by his wife, so he divorced her.

Laynie's mother always held that against her. Because of that I am very nervous of how I acted towards her when she found out about her passing. Cynthia may not have been a decent mom, but Laynie was always an amazing daughter. Even to someone who didn't deserve it.

"Your mother passed?" I ask still shocked at the thought.

"Yes, right after we moved in." she states.

"See jackass, you were a jerk. Now I know you don't remember, but we do, so that can't be an excuse." Anna says.

Alan just shakes his head at her antics. She can never do wrong in his mind. I look down on the floor grateful not to have their eyes on mine. Now I get why Laynie does it. I walk up to Laynie and tell her I'm sorry. Then I walk to the bedroom and close the door behind me. I can't take this anymore. Why the hell would she let me treat her this way? Why the hell didn't anyone see it? Why the fuck are we in New York?