Criminals

THREE MONTHS TO THE PRESENT DAY

Usually, when people travel, they itch for the destination but not Uche and definitely not this destination. This was more like a suicide mission. You don't itch for that; instead, you pray the car never gets there.

What am I going to do for one whole year in a remote village? How am I going to survive without electricity and the internet?" Uche sank into his thought of worry; his face fell against the window as the red Sienna ran over the black tarmac so fast the passing greenery became a hazy blur. The seats and windows shake with every small bump in the ragged pavement, jostling the passengers back and forth. The air conditioning pumps through only a few filters, whistling with the extreme pressure. It smells slightly of diluted gas. As the world slides by the window, there are small movements from amongst the passengers. Someone shifts in their seat, there's a little cough and a mild 'bless you'.

Will there be flowers and love or will his loneliness continue? He returned to his thought. However, some people do find true love during their service year, which even leads to marriage. Mr. Kalu, his boss served in a small remote village in Ekiti State. There were just only two corp members posted to the community – him and a young lady way out of his league. For the first three months, she ignored him like a pledge. Then boredom set in and she needed someone to pass the time with, so they became friends. Whenever she was bored, horny or cold, she would find an excuse to visit him, they will talk long hours, laughing, playing and shouting like teenagers.

One cold night, in a magical moment; hearts drumming, eyes met, lips locked, clothes came off, and they made love. Not long after, they fell in love. He married her and together they have four beautiful kids. Uche wished for exactly that kind of love story, something that will last and probably lead to marriage.

"Corper!" the driver called in a trembling bass.

He ignored the call and kept staring blankly out of the window.

"Corper, what is wrong with you?"

Deliberately, Uche turned to face the driver. A large heavy man; bearded, with overgrown and unkempt hair. From Uche's angle, his potbelly was almost touching the steering wheel.

"Nothing", he whispered after a deep breath.

"Where were you posted to?"

"Some Christian Secondary in Obot Akara LGA, Akwa Ibom" Uche sighed

A genuine grin appeared across his lips. "You definitely need to work on the pronunciation of that place but I get it. Why then is your face like that?" he asked not looking away from the road.

"It is a remote village" he cried out.

"It is not", he waved his head. "The school is along the road. The community is peaceful. Whenever I'm coming from Lagos that is where I stop to eat bush meat and drink palm wine. I think you will enjoy it there. A handsome young man like you won't have a problem with the girls," he gave Uche a quick glance and returned his gaze to the road.

A shy smile cut across his face. "We were warned in camp to be wary of the girls as HIV is on the high there"

"Yeah" he nodded in agreement. "And these people like sex a lot, especially the women. That is why I said you will enjoy the place…" both of them burse into a peal of long hard laughter.

"Don't beat yourself over it, some people are already there and they are having the best time of their lives. That should be your goal not worrying yourself" he paused, his eyelids flickered rapidly. Uche could tell he was deep in thought. "Last week, I carried a young lady, a fresh corper just like you. She was pretty, not too tall, a huge chest like this." His hands left the steering wheel and came under his chest demonstrating the huge breast of the girl. "Dark shining skin, a beautiful smile, and open teeth".

"Really?" Uche asked already trying to picture this pretty fellow corper.

"Yes, she sat in the same place you are seated right now. Omo is her name".

"Hmmm," he glanced upward. "Omo, sounds like the name of a church girl"

"Even if she is the sister of Jesus, just one month of boredom in that village will loosen her"

"Hmmm," Uche murmured.

All of a sudden, the brakes squeak and everyone lurched forward as the car came to a stop. A huge policeman on dark goggles appeared on the driver's window. He had three red "V" on both shoulders indicating he was a Sergent.

"Oga, good morning" the driver greeted.

"Good morning" he responded already scanning the car for any abnormality.

"Where are we going?" He removed his glasses exposing his blood-red eyes.

"Uyo"

"Alright," he gestured with a nod. "Anything for the boys?"

"Ha!" the driver snorted a laugh. "Na me be your boy oh"

"Big man like you? How is that possible?"

"I be ordinary driver oh. You be a whole officer of the Nigerian Police Force!"

"Ok oh…" he became a stroll to the rear of the car. "Driver you carry plenty load for booth, oh, e be like say you go come open the booth…"

The driver sensing pending trouble quickly brought out a dirty fifty naira note from his penguin hole.

"Oga, come take abeg" he interrupted the officer. Unhurriedly, still pretending he was carrying out a search he came to the front and collected the money.

"Alright!" he shouted and gave the car an open palm slap. The driver stepped on the gas, the engine roared back to life and in seconds they were back on the highway with the tires kissing the macadam.

Certain they were far from the roadblock, the driver murmured under his voice "Criminals"