Chapter 2

This morning I woke up with a fairly dry throat and I could tell from the looks on their faces the twins were suffering. 'Maybe the light from the window is irritating them,' I wondered. I would get up to fix this issue if both my arms weren't asleep from these two using them as pillows. As surprising as it may seem I'm not too confident my core strength alone will be enough to lift me up from my bed and out from their grasp.

They were both clinging to me as if holding me would somehow alleviate the headache from which they were no doubt both suffering. After trying to wait it out I noticed the sensation of a hand that wasn't mine from either side of me trying and failing to sneakily snake their way down my pants. A passage from Book flashes in my memory. "You want me to get us water?" I ask in as quiet a voice as humanly possible.

They stop their attempt at pretending to be asleep and both slowly nod while releasing their grip on me. The uncomfortable sensation of the nerves in both my arms finally receiving the oxygen they need to function fills both my arms and I lift myself from between the two admittedly cute twins. As feeling begins slowly returning to my arms, I crawl out from between them and make to leave the room but stop to memorize the scene before me. Two barely clothed girls trying desperately to sleep off their hangover, in my bed.

After thoroughly burning this image into my eyes, I decided to just cast a quiet spell and have a quick portrait of the scene done in one of my blank sketchbooks. After leaving the two alone for a bit I returned with some water and after handing it to the groggy pair they drank like it was the best thing in the world. So, did I but I really didn't expect alcohol to dry my throat like it did. After I gave them their drinks, they dragged me back into bed and I had to comfort the two as they suffered, for the next two hours or so.

"Why are you fine?"

"I'm not a lightweight?"

"But you drank more than we did."

"I managed not to overdo it. Maybe you two should have restrained yourselves instead of trying to catch up to me." In reality, Book told me how much I could handle and how much was too much, and I just drank until I forgot how many drinks I could take and wouldn't drink more until I remembered. I also knew from the beginning any amount would be a bit too much for them. Not that I could warn them they still think my skill is useless... most people do.

If I told anyone how accurately and detailed my skill can predict and even change the future, I don't know what'd happen to me. Most functioning oracles are brought into police investigations to just tell, the police officers, who is actually guilty, and thus they are a major target for most criminals. When they want to commit a crime, and they know where the local oracle lives, it's instant death for them.

Since mine is more of a vague, dreamy vision type thing that changes drastically when I try to force it without Book, it's been deemed useless. There are spells that can allow me to share my visions with other people, but no one can make out a fluid video audio hallucination that changes as it plays out. But for some reason Book speaks to me in secret. In a language only I can understand. This truly is a great power, last night I was able to predict years into the future but only read up to the month.

When I checked Book this morning it almost changed on me, so I had to undo the charm and see the future drunk me planned out for me. It seemed drunk me planned on having me whisper a phrase that I was to say the morning after when I got my hands on Book and the twins were in the bathroom trying to wash off the smell of alcohol before they went home. "It seems I can predict farther if I simply stop thinking."

Once that phrase left my lips it was like a door in my mind had been unlocked and I was able to see my first clear vision of the future. I was going to make breakfast enjoy it with the twins, they were going to offer me a bottle and make plans to visit again, I'd accept and when they left, they'd give me a kiss on the cheek for not taking advantage of them when they were drunk and had no control over themselves.

Let's do our best to make this fairly wholesome dream a reality. I gathered up the scattered clothes of the twins and used a spell usually, used for removing faecal matter from shoes but, I've heard also works as a general laundry replacement as I'm sure actually washing and drying their clothes would take too long. After gathering up all their clothes on the bed, I cast the spell and left their clothes neatly folded for when they returned.

After that, I went and got breakfast started, for this morning's meal I had prepared French toast and omelettes because there's always left-over egg when making French toast and I'm not one to be wasteful. They emerged from the bathroom about the time I started on the omelettes. "I took the liberty of making sure your clothes didn't reek of booze, they're on the bed when you're ready for them."

"Thank you," they both said and rushed off to the bedroom with towels covering themselves. I did my best not to stare, and they disappeared behind the door. Once I got breakfast plated and the table set, I put on a pot of coffee and poured myself a cup, "do you want coffee?"

"No."

"Yes." I poured another mug and set it down to one side of me. I assumed they'd want to sit on either side of me, so I set their plates and checked Book for which side of the table to put the second coffee mug. Luckily when they emerged and sat down beside me, I got the voice of who wanted coffee right.

I had forgotten where they like to sit in relation to which side of me, but I realized they didn't really change sides. Book said it's possible to try dating them without dying but it's still not 100% certain I won't die just it was more like a 5% survival rate that went up to a 25% survival rate.

The odds still aren't good but at least now I can ponder if I can make them so attached to me the survival rate goes up to 100% but then I'd be screwed when they move schools later… hmm… patience or temptation… I'll go with the flow and see where it takes me. I don't have to decide now and there's no proof my chances of survival won't go back down in a couple of days. For now, all I can really do is wait and see.

We enjoyed a nice breakfast. Their memory had a couple of holes in it, so I filled them in with my memory sharing spell, careful not to let them see anything related to Book, and they saw that I gave them shirts when I noticed the two climbed into my bed in their underwear. It's fairly hard to fabricate memories so they know what I've shown them is accurate and they don't question the jumps or skips because I was drinking with them, there's no way I'd perfectly recall what happened.

After a pleasant meal the two seemed slightly disappointed but then a bit happy as if they concluded, I'm somehow a better person than I am because of the way I carried myself around them. Then again Book does tell me how best to act so as not to die and that tends to be in a kind friendly manner. Maybe my act of "I'd rather not die" was misconstrued as gentlemanly. But even if I did take advantage of them, they probably wouldn't have remembered it anyway so it would have benefitted no one especially if I got one or both of them pregnant and they didn't even get to enjoy the conception.

After breakfast, I gave them both a hug and told them I valued our friendship. And just as the vision said they both gave me a kiss on the cheek and made to go home but before they did [creepy twin #2] turned around and came back to give me gifts. One was a full bottle of absinthe, and the other was a small box with a ribbon around it instead of wrapping paper. "open it when you're alone" she told me.

I thanked her for the gifts and told her I had a nice time and look forward to next time. She blushed slightly and went off to join hands with her sister as they walked off in the direction of their home. I honestly wasn't expecting gifts plural. Perhaps my minor changes to the vision in being slightly kinder than necessary brought on the gifts. When I went into my room, I used a simple disguise spell on the alcoholic beverage to make it look like just another one of my trophies from the magic club and set it on the shelf.

Despite my "lack" of a useful special ability, I'm very studious when it comes to magic. Most people think I'm just compensating for a useless special ability when in reality book has been guiding me to study magic since I learned how to use Book to see into the future better. And today it came in pretty handy. Book has been pushing for me to learn more passive spells like auto write or physical defence, but passive spells take a lot longer to use than single-use spells like disguise or clean.

And I know they're more useful in the long run, especially if I run the risk of death by brutal three-hour-long dismemberment. It seems drunk me had planned for me to learn five passive spells in the next week which would be insane if not for the first one on the list. A spell I don't even remember existing… must be a suggestion from Book.

Welp… time to get studying. After cleaning up breakfast and doing a quick few passes of the house with a cleaning spell to get the smells and stains of the drinking party we had last night out of the floors and walls, I set my gift down on my bed and went up to the attic where book told me I'd be able to learn the passive spell I needed.

I walked up to the old treasure chest looking box where my family keeps their valuables and opened up Book to read the password it had for me. "family comes first" and like that the chest opened for me. In the chest were many small trinkets and memorabilia from when my parents were young, there were young photos of my older siblings who've long since moved out by now. And buried in the things was an old dusty tome that seemed to call out to me as I stared at it. I carefully moved aside the items resting on top of the book and removed it from the chest.

Once I had the book, I closed the chest and turned to the page Book told me I needed. Conclusive spell learning with this passive spell active all I needed to be able to use a spell was to know the end result of the magic studies, in other words, I have to have a written conclusion on the spell's theory in order to learn a spell. This would save weeks of time trying to learn a spell the usual way, I'd just have to read the last couple of sentences from each chapter that explained the spell's uses and the general principle in order to use a spell. But learning this spell in and of itself seems like it'll be quite the trial.

It seems this book was hidden more because it's too valuable to be kept out in the open. It has a great many useful spells as far as I know but it seems learning each spell would take the average mage 4-5 times the time it would normally take and that's if they don't get frustrated and give up partway through. For now, I took out an enchanted notebook and copied the information I needed to learn this spell specifically before replacing the book in the chest exactly where I found it with everything else on top exactly where it was and closed the chest before reciting the password again to lock the chest.

I spent the time I wasn't either eating or studying my future trying to learn this spell, but it is quite the difficult ritual to perform. These components are strange. Where am I going to find the sweat of a person who holds an unrequited love anyway? Most of the other components seem either rare or hard for a person my age to acquire. It's not that it'd be illegal for me to get some of these things it's just… strange.

I'm sure if I bring this component list to one of my friends in the magic club, they'd help me get the stranger things and I'd just have to get the more common things myself. Not only that but I have to memorize this giant formula and long incantation to get it to work or else I'll waste the components and have to start over again. Such a tricky thing book wants me to learn all of a sudden.

Maybe Book will have a shortcut… right the gift. I cautiously open the box in my room to make sure it's not some elaborate prank and I found a note. "Dear [insert name] please be a dear and wash these for us, we'll return your shirts when you get them back to us. Love, your favourite twins" I read the note out loud and then noticed a few neatly folded pieces of fabric at the bottom of the box. I unravelled one of them and learned the contents.

"These two inadvertently gave me one of the weirder spell components." I quickly grabbed a vile I usually use to keep liquid spell components and used a spell more commonly used to dry paper to take the fluids from the fabrics and place them in the vile. That's when I noticed the other side of the note. "P.S. if you'd rather keep them that's fine too just know we're keeping the shirts if you do." I shrugged and folded the fabric and returning it to its box before sealing the vile setting my things aside and cleaning the contents of the box for them. And then I wrote them a note of my own as Book had the perfect phrase to write, "sorry you had to walk home without these if you had left them on the bed, I could have cleaned them for you earlier, but what's past is past, with all due respect, your friend [insert name]"

That should let them know how oblivious I plan to be even in the face of such a gift. Or perhaps they'll think I'm acting the gentleman again, I neither know nor care at this point. I began writing out the components list I'd need leaving out the things I already had readily available to me. Some of these are more abstract concepts than physical components. "a pleasant memory? The soul of an ant? A breath from a scholar?"

There truly are some strange things on this list for now I exhaled into a jar after sticking an ant in there and closed the lid, so the ant suffocated with nothing but my breath to keep it company. Hopefully, these two components can be kept together.

After a bit more studying, I fell asleep and managed to wake up in time for school. The twins made sure to give me as much space as they could bear to at school. They began hanging out with my friends more and they told me the reason they rejected my friends is that, like myself, they were older than everyone else in our grade by 9 months or so, making it illegal for them to currently date any of my friends that asked them out. Right, I suppose we are at the legal age and they are just shy of it.

To be fair it's not entirely illegal for us to drink at our age it's just not exactly common because most people our age can't prove we're old enough to drink yet and we still live with our parents, so they probably won't go to bat for us, not that we have money to be wasting on drinks anyway. School seemed to pass fairly quickly today, and the twins even managed to join my club just to get closer to me. The first spell they asked to learn was of course the cleaning spell I used to get their clothes clean again.

I did manage to get my list to the club's vice president and asked that she help me find some of the weirder items, in the meanwhile I tutored the twins on some of the more basic cleaning spells, so they'll be ready for when next they show up unannounced to drink at my house. I actually taught them a simple communication charm so they can get in touch with me if they need to. It sends a tiny scroll with writing on it to another person via their pinky nail.

It can usually only fit one or two words but depending on how dexterous your hand, or how small your writing, you could fit a sentence on the tiny scroll. They struggled a bit but managed to at least learn this simple beginner-level spell by day's end. As the club was coming to a close for the day, I pulled the twins to the side for a bit and returned to them that which they gave me and did my best to act embarrassed as I did so.

The two looked surprised to see the tiny box again but soon the look of surprise turned to one of respect. [creepy twin #2] pulled a couple of my shirts hand washed and sun-dried from her cleavage as she seemed to like doing in my presence. And quickly folded them and returned them to me. "You are quite the gentleman, aren't you?"

"I'm more worried what my parents would think if they found them"

"That's true," she said putting the box away between her breasts. The two shared a bit of a nervous laugh like they hadn't thought it could be such an inconvenience to me, but I paid it no mind and put my shirts away in my school bag before thanking them for going through the trouble of cleaning them for me and made to walk home. For some reason, the twins followed me.

"You know my parents will be home today."

"We don't mind."

"Do you mind?"

"No not really it's just my parents will probably ask annoying questions that may just embarrass everyone involved" I made a face like that was my main concern. More Book told me I couldn't let them come home with me unless I actually wanted to date them, and that love needs to stay unrequited at least until I can cast this spell. Book says there are more opportunities later but with as persistent as these two are I doubt it'd be too far off. "Right, I didn't think of that"

"Useless as I may be, I am still an oracle after all"

"You're not useless just your special ability, is…" I made a face like they'd hurt me and the two decided to just let me go home alone. After they turned to go back to their own home I smiled and went on my way. When I arrived, I found my parents more battered than usual. "What happened?"

"Oh [insert name] my beloved and favourite son to whom I bequeathed the strongest name I could think of at the time. We've had quite the rough journey as of…" my father began sniffing the air, "Did you hang out with a girl today?" my mother then smacked him in the back of the head.

They began arguing over why my father could so distinctly distinguish the smells of women especially women of my age, and after a while I let them know that the twins had joined the magic club and as they were new, I was asked to tutor them in basic spells until they got the hang of studying spellcraft on their own. Really, passive spells take way too much work to learn active spells could be learned in an afternoon if you're really studious; or if the spell is particularly simple.

That evening I was regaled with the tale of how my parents were set upon by bandits, on their way to save the girl who fell down the well and how my mother had to rewind time three times before they could return home safely, but they did manage to alert the local militia to the presence of the bandits and made it home in time for dinner this evening. Quite the eventful tale and I quite enjoyed every minute of it.