Fun?

.

[-Continuation-]

….

[-Hachiman's POV-]

Just as I had asked, Hayama came to the location I pinned.

It was a small cafe present in the community center.

And the moment he steps through the door, the expression of the doubtfulness just moments ago might as well have been figments of my imagination now.

From there on, after completing the initial introductions, the proceedings went naturally as he began chatting with them.

And despite his clear annoyance toward me, he sailed through wearing his usual Hayama Hayato expression.

…

Although it hadn't been fifteen minutes yet, Hayama tactfully avoided going along with the two girls and skillfully managed to create the chance to leave.

"Well, it's about time for me to go…" He announces, his tone striking the perfect balance between regret and finality.

"Okay. See you again, Hayama!" Orimoto shot Hayama a lingering smile, then glanced over at me with a casual wave.

"Thanks for today, Hayama. We will mail you okay!" Chika chimes in, unwilling to let Orimoto have the last word.

Hayama responded by raising his.

The two women spare me a brief nod as they leave, which I return mechanically.

Their excited whispers trail behind as they walk off talking to each other, saying 'oh my gosh', 'he's so cool', 'this is so bad' - until the closing door swallows their voices completely.

The moment they are gone, Hayama's facade crumbles - he releases a long, weary sigh.

He looked up at the ceiling as though gathering his energy.

Whatever forced brightness he had put on before had vanished, leaving him with a tired, almost worn-down expression.

After a moment, he turned to face me, his expression turned a little cold, taking in the sight of me casually sipping from the coffee can, seemingly indifferent to the scene that had just unfolded.

"…Why would you do this?" He glared at me, but genuine curiosity softened its edges.

I lowered my drink slightly, meeting his gaze. "Do what?"

He shakes his head, the gesture sharp with frustration. "You know what I mean, Hikigaya. There was no need for... whatever that was."

A smile plays at the corners of my mouth, devoid of warmth. "Think of it as a little experiment."

Hayama's expression darkened, which, if seen by the two girls just left, will be questioning their existence.

"An experiment? Is that what people are to you? Something to test?"

"People." I replied, leaning back. "Reveal things about themselves in unexpected ways. It's not about testing them, it's about seeing things clearly."

"Seeing what, exactly?" His words carry a weight of exasperation.

"Whatever you are trying to prove, it just seems like..." He pauses, searching for the right words like someone trying to describe my actions.

"Like what?" I prompt, curious despite myself.

"…to me, you just seem to be having fun." His response comes with an undercurrent of concern.

I huffed, letting out a short laugh.

"Fun?"

The word tastes strange on my tongue.

Am I having fun? I questioned myself a bit.

I don't know.

Hayama's posture shifts as understanding dawns across his features. "Actually, you are starting to resemble someone."

"...Someone?"

I was confused… actually I wasn't.

I think I know who he was referring to and was just being hopeful his next words prove my guess wrong.

However -

"Someone who likes to put people in awkward situations… just for her own amusement." His expression turned pointed, as if he knew exactly how that would land.

"Hey, come on, don't be that harsh..." I protest, discomfort creeping into my voice. "Why would you compare me to her? I am not that much of a psycho."

My words tumble out, seeking reassurance. "I am still human, you know, not that bad of a person…"

A pause, then hopefully: "Right?"

He shook his head, unyielding. "No… honestly, you really do remind me of her."

The defeat that washes over me is complete. I let out a groan, my shoulders sagging like a puppet with cut strings. "If that's the case, then this is... really bad."

"Right..." Hayama agrees with a smile that only fuels my irritation.

Don't you agree now, you bastard!

And rub off that grinning expression at my misery. Remember, I called you here to see you squirm, not the other way around.

Immediately, I shook my head and changed the topic.

"Forget about me for a second." I paused, giving him a pointed look. "So, find anything you are interested in?"

The implied meaning hangs in the air between us.

He knows exactly what I am getting at.

"..." However, he just stared at me, silent and unreadable.

I crossed my arms, adding with mock exasperation

"Hey, I am talking about them, not me." I put on a disgusted expression, feigning offense. "I should have known when you didn't show any interest in that haughty queen, either. Sorry, man, but I have got a girlfriend, and not that I swing that way in the first place. But, hey, if you are looking, maybe I will put in a word for you."

Hayama just looked at me, his expression blank, clearly not finding any humor in my comment.

"Alright, sorry for trying, man."

The words come out with an edge of irritation I can't quite smooth away.

"Anyway." I pressed on, shifting the focus back to him. "You interested in anyone or not?"

"No." He replied without a moment's hesitation, his tone clipped.

"Yeah, I don't like their company either." I fire back reflexively.

"Seriously, though." I continued, leaning forward slightly. "There has to be someone who catches your eye, even a little."

Hayama's eyes narrowed slightly as he asked. "Why are you so interested in my personal life all of a sudden, Hikigaya?"

I scoffed, letting a bit of my frustration slip through.

"Do you think I am? I just wanted to fuc–! Ahem, forget that. It's just that you have been getting on my nerves lately." I stopped myself, biting down the words I was about to say and forcing a deep breath.

I glared at him, irritation bubbling over. "Just go out with someone already, bastard, instead of staring at me like I have got everything you want in the world or... something you can't have."

A muscle in my jaw tightened, my irritation now fully out in the open.

Man. I am getting riled up in emotions.

Hayama just watched me, his face carefully blank, yet his eyes held something deeper, thoughtful, almost like he was analyzing every word I said.

For a second, he looked as if he wanted to fire back, but then he just sighed, his shoulders slumping a fraction.

"It's not like that." He said quietly, his gaze dropping for a second before meeting mine again. "You are misunderstanding something."

"Oh, really?" I crossed my arms, unimpressed. "Then what is it, exactly? Because lately, it feels like you're just hanging around, watching me, instead of actually living your own life."

A faint, humorless smile plays across his lips, like a ghost of genuine emotion.

"Maybe I am just... trying to understand things." His voice was low, the words seeming more for himself than for me.

Ugh… A wave of irritation washed over me, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

Seriously, I hate this guy.

There's something about him that just gets under my skin, always has.

Like for real.

Alright, I will be honest here.

The reason this guy bothers me so much - enough to make me go out of my way to needle him, to plan whatever schemes might come next - is painfully clear, though I hate admitting it even to myself.

I used to look up to him.

Yeah, I did.

And despite how much I try to pretend otherwise beneath layers of cynicism and indifference, a part of me still does.

He was the one I used to measure myself against, the person I projected all my insecurities, doubts, and failures.

He has always been that guy.

The one who seemed to have it all figured out, effortlessly gliding through life.

For me, he was the golden boy who seemed to have cheat mods while the rest of us fumbled in the dark.

And even now, knowing better, that part of me still resents him.

He had everything.

Or, at least, that's what it looked like in the spotlight he always seemed to effortlessly stand in.

Then everything shifted.

The accident.

The extra chunks of my memories from my past life came to me.

Now?

I am standing in his shoes, and it's my turn in that spotlight.

I am the one who's getting people's assumptions, expectations, projections, all that crap I once threw at him, now thrown at me.

Of course it wasn't anywhere near his level, but it's still there or reaching there.

It is especially obvious ever since I publicly claimed Yukino - yes, Yukinoshita Yukino - as my girlfriend, the so-called Ice Queen.

…and even more so after she had the guts to propose with a love letter, right in front of everyone.

So, one could only guess the attention and spotlight I have been receiving.

But you know what?

I don't mind it.

Not really.

The rest of them - their projections, their expectations - they're just static, background noise I can easily tune out.

But this guy… Hayama.

He crossed the line.

How dare he make me his subject, his personal mirror reflecting whatever he thinks he's missing?

Like I am some kind of living metaphor for his own perceived failures?

I won't stand for it.

.

….

[To be continued…]

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