WHICH IS WHICH?

[ELLIS' POV]

"I have a boyfriend!"

FUCK.

What did I just say?

My eyes widen as I said those words.

I immediately covered my mouth. I was so nervous that it happened instantly!

He stopped and the guy with glasses is looking at me. Eros' turns around to face me.

He laughs.

Eros is laughing!

Is that a sign of relief? Is that better than saying something? He's not mad? Disappointed?

"El, if you wanted me to stay, you should have said so." He said.

I started fake laughing.

"I-is that so? Um, I can wait for you, after your work. I-I should better go." I say.

"It's okay, El. I could do my rounds and Griffin will be here with you."

"Huh?"

"It will take minutes to finish." He said.

"Um, it's fine, really, Ros, I will stay at the store."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay, then. Griffin will escort you to the store. I'll let Orion take you." He says as that Griffin guy agrees.

I just nodded, nothing else to say anymore.

-----

I'm so dumb. Why did I say that out loud?

But Eros' didn't fall for it. So, it means, he didn't believe me that he thought I'm just joking.

Shit.

"Mr. Beckett is a busy man."

That Griffin guy said in front of the passenger seat while the Orion guy is driving.

"Work and personal issues are different, they should work separately. If one fails, the other one will fail too." He added.

So, he's saying that I should not disturb Eros at work and leave his issues outside. I kept quiet because I know that he's saying the truth, which I feel guilty about. I didn't even think about that before going there, he's a businessman now, it's different from what we used to be. If I want him back in my life, I should better know his work, lifestyle, and hobbies.

He may be the Eros I know but some things have changed, I should accept that from him. It's a good call if I didn't say what I feel. I also have a boyfriend. Another problem from me, which I don't understand why I'm being committed to him, even though I don't feel the same way.

Shit.

Castor will be extending his stay, I can't see him for more than 2 weeks. If I make a call to break up with him, he will be devastated and he will book a plane to see me. Work from there will be a disaster if he's not there.

I should wait for him instead.

I sigh.

Suddenly, the car stopped and hit my head.

"Fuck."

"We've arrived at your store, Mr. Beckett."

Griffin guy said.

"O-oh okay. Just call me Ellis."

"Okay, Ellis." He complied.

He didn't even think twice about calling me.

"It's better to call you by your name than to confuse other people." Is he referring to the other women earlier? That's why they acted so strangely.

"Okay." I said and I continue, "Thank you for driving me to my store."

"Nice meeting you, Ellis." Orion smiles.

"Bye," I said then I went out.

The car left immediately, maybe because Eros is at the company without anyone beside him.

I sigh.

"I'm still so dumb that I've said those words!"

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[EROS' POV]

Did he say that to make me stay or did he say that because I'm his brother and he's waiting for my reaction?

I sigh.

I didn't even know if what he's saying is making any sense, I mean, he's my little brother, he's Ellis. He's a soft, cute, gentle little bean. I know him, he's not... uhm, but is he?

"Mr. Beckett."

But, years had passed by, is he the same Ellis I know? Maybe, something had changed him.

Wait.

He did change.

He has built, maybe he's working out. Also, about his attitude, he got angry, he yelled at me and even cursed at me.

His business is a work for mature people. He's an architect and a businessman which he runs the Rosè Bakery.

His lifestyle, yeah, I think so too.

"Mr. Beckett."

His looks are the same, he still has neck-length black hair which I adore. His clothes are the same, plain and simple.

Did he have any relationships before?

"Mr. Beckett!"

I woke up from my random thoughts when an employee called me.

"Oh, sorry, I've been thinking a lot lately."

I say to her.

"It's okay, Mr. Beckett. I'm sorry that I woke you up." She softly said.

"What are you saying?" I asked.

They're looking at me and she's blushing.

"Are you okay?"

"Um, you want me to repeat what I'm trying to say?"

I nodded.

"I-I want to confess about what I feel about you. To be honest, I-I..." She says.

I thought it was about work.

It's about her feelings.

Then I see Griffin coming for my way.

I'm being rescued!

"You're here already. Did he arrived safely?"

"Yes, Mr. Beckett."

"That's good." I smile.

"Are you done here?"

"Hmm, I think so," I answered.

"W-what-" The woman is confused.

I whisper to Griffin, "She's about to confess. I think we're done here."

"Great work, guys! Job well done! Especially you, Ms..." I see her nametag, "Hong."

She blushes again and we left.

"Ms. Hong is the representative of the current project, she's good at her reports. But I've noticed that she's shy about you, Mr. Beckett."

"She's a great employee. I wouldn't bother her when it comes to that confession. We all know what my answer for that is."

We're back from the office and I sit comfortably.

"All that praises deserve an ice cream!"

I say.

"I will get you an ice cream," Griffin said.

I smile, "Okay."

He went out.

I sigh.

My work is almost done.

"What should we do later, Eros?"

I asked myself.

Does Ellis want ice cream later?

Does he want to go to the zoo?

Does he want to go to a museum? Park?

"But, I'm thinking about the young Ellis, not the grown-up Ellis," I said.

Someone coughs and Griffin is already in front of me, handing the ice cream.

"Aaaah. Icecream!" I smile and I unwrapped it.

As the vanilla flavor got into my mouth, it melts so heavenly.

"Mr. Beckett, be careful you might-"

We both stopped at the same time when the ice cream fell to my pants. Now, it stains.

"Oops." I slightly chuckle.

Griffin is already staring at me deadly.

He got some tissues from my drawer and he hands me the tissue.

"Can you... can you just wipe it for me?"

I asked.

Both of my hands are already full of ice cream.

"W-wipe it from your pants?"

I nodded.

I show him both of my hands which have stains also and he sighs.

"You're just like a kid, Mr. Beckett."

I chuckle, "The way you said it, it's like a statement from Griffin-from-work and Griffin-from-friend."

"May I?" He asked as he's referring to wipe the stain from my pants.

I just nodded and continue to lick the ice cream.

He kneels in front of me and he stops.

I looked at him and he's like thinking something, he's not moving his hand.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing." He answered and he's slowly wiping the stains from my pants.

Another stain poured between my pants and I said sorry to him many times.

"But you already know how messy I get when it comes to ice cream." I smile.

"And you're quite enjoying it." He added.

I chuckle, "It's ice cream! Who wouldn't?"

As I'm looking at Griffin, he's quiet and calm like me, I may not know everything about him, but he's learning to communicate back at me.

He rarely talks but when someone asked him, he will answer and remained quiet again.

Whenever I'm with him, I try to reach out to him, to be more confident about himself, and talk back at me as friends. As time goes on, he's learning that one by one.

"Griffin, when you knew that Eryx and I kissed. How did you first react to that?"

"We're at work, Mr. Beckett."

"I know, but I can't wait longer. It's been on my mind when Ellis said those words to me."

I said.

"Please, act like my friend right now," I added.

He sighs, "I'm surprised at first. I didn't think that a guy like you would like a guy."

I don't like Eryx romantically, I only like him as a friend. But anyway, I just ignore it.

"And?"

"But, it's normal for that to happen, so I'm okay with that."

"Simple as that?"

"Simple as that." He repeated.

"So, do you think, the way I reacted earlier to him, is that normal?"

"Yes, it's normal."

"So both sides are normal. Okay. I should not think about that."

"Then what makes you overthink things?" He asked as he's wiping the ice cream stain on my pants and I replied, "I don't know. But I felt relief in some reason."

"Relief? Relief that he has a boyfriend? Or relief that he preferred the same gender and not the opposite sex? Or both?" When Griffin asked me those words, I suddenly realized what the main issue here is.

"Griffin, what do you think of me?" I asked softly and I can feel the ice cream that is in the cup, making my hand cold. I continue to ask him, "Like, what I really am?"

He stood up and faces me, "Eros, I don't think liking someone of the same gender romantically is abnormal. It makes it abnormal when you make it an issue to yourself."

I looked down, "Even if it is, my brother?"

He looks at me and it took 5 seconds to make him kneel again to wipe my stain and he answered, "I know you are not related and you already told me things about what happened before you left him and what happened after that, my concern is the barrier, so even if you feel romantic towards him, would the barrier changed?"

I sigh, whatever comes from his mouth, everything is right.

"About what he said earlier, do you believe in him?" He asked.

"I think it's a joke," I answered.

"Then, it's not."

"What if it is true?"

"I don't know, maybe you'll run away? Know who is the boyfriend? Cancel the rounds and talk to him? Or maybe, you'll get mad and realized, what did you do wrong to make him gay?"

"Alright, alright!" I put down the ice cream on my table.

"To be honest, it hurt. I mean, knowing that he has a boyfriend and it's not me."

He sighs, "There you have it! The truth."

I just realized what I've said and he stood up again, he tried his best to wipe the stain off.

"You always know what to say, Griffin. But it's easier said than to be done."

He didn't answer, "Do you want me to get you some water, Mr. Beckett?"

I ignore him and asked, "Griffin, have you ever kissed a guy?"

He looks at me, the look at his face telling me, he wants it but he's shy about it.

I just asked a random question and this is my first time asking him that.

"Do you want to try it?"

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