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Review Detail of FANFICTION83 in Sun Sun fruit in one piece

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FANFICTION83
FANFICTION83Lv114dFANFICTION83

Why are you shifting point of view all the time, It doesn’t make for a good story. Sometimes it makes sense but you shift POVs at random and it takes you out of the story. Keep to one POV som one can get to know the main character. The premise of the story was the thing that drew me to this story. But since you hope around the characters like pinball I am out. Good luck with your writing.

Sun Sun fruit in one piece

An_lf_line

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An_lf_line
An_lf_lineAuteurAn_lf_line

Good to know I've never written a story before so I'll keep that in mind.