webnovel
WyattJaymes54
WyattJaymes54Lv23yr
2021-06-24 01:47

I very much liked this piece. You do have exceptional talent. I felt the drive to read more after each sentence. Although you do great with describing the action, I do think you focus too much on it. I would graciously like to see the main characters thoughts during each scene.

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
Replies1
Roonman
RoonmanAuthor

Thank you!!! And I will make sure to work on it!

Other Reviews
Related Stories

Rebirth of the Nameless Immortal God

Earth has undergone an odd change. Expanding by millions of times its original size, its population was suddenly split into two halves. On one side, there was a group of technologically advanced humans. But, on the other, a world of cultivation had grown and pospered. The secrets that led to this change have been hidden in the darkness for too long... Until there came a day where a boy born on the Mortal side of the world was found to have the talent to enter the Martial side. Having lost both of his parents to a hidden tide, he chose to leave all that he had known behind and enter this land of danger. What truths would he unveil? What would he learn about what separated the Mortals from the Cultivators? What hidden evils wanted to ensure that his people never rose up and gained power? And how would those evils... deal with him? ---- This list of things I hate is quite long. The first is that I hate to be tested the most. The second is that I hate to be tested the most. The third also happens to be that I hate to be tested the most. The ocean's depths are too shallow, the sun's light too dim, the ground too mundane and the skies too small. For those born of this colorless world to deem themselves worthy of casting judgement on me... I can only say that it's laughable. I am the Nameless Immortal God because even the Heavens themselves are unworthy to name me. Even while I am unaware of my own identity, I will dry the oceans until cracked land is all that is left, I will cast the sun into endless darkness, I will shatter the ground with my feet and sunder the skies with my blade. Am I too arrogant? What right do you have to think that? --- https://discord.gg/awespec

Awespec · Action
4.5
2334 Chs

The Uncrowned King Of Assassins

"An Exiled High-Profile Assassin Gets Dragged Back Into The Underworld Business When A Female Student Under His Care Gets Targeted By His Former Organization and Associates, Thus Forced To Put On His 'Dirty' Mask Once Again..." In a dystopian world, demons and supernatural creatures exist in real but live in secret as a parallel secret society called the 'Underworld'. These beings serve as obedient weapons, fulfilling the desires and clandestine tasks of their human masters. With no personal stake in human affairs, they are known as the 'Others' for their unwavering loyalty and the vast array of races, including vampires, werewolves, goblins, and zombies. The Underworld provides a haven for its human overlords, offering assassin guilds, brothels, and opulent hotels where crime emperors convene to discuss their illicit dealings. Amidst these supernatural beings, there was a remarkable exception—an ordinary 'Human'. Devoid of any extraordinary attributes or specific skills, this weak and meek 'Human' emerged as the unexpected hero who brought an end to the 'Great War of Underworld Clans', a war that happened for control over the world. Following his momentous and miraculous achievement, he unexpectedly vanished into seclusion, retiring from his occupation in silent anonymity. This man's true identity and origins remained shrouded in mystery, known only to a select few who hailed him as 'The Uncrowned King.' -- The main story revolves around a young but retired assassin living his peacefully but his peace gets disrupted when he gets dragged into the issue of saving a young girl, from the clutches of the Underworld organizations he used to work for in the past. Seeing this as an opportunity, all his old nemeses who were defeated by him in the past, join the hate bandwagon to hunt him and the girl down. But the bandwagon becomes a threat to our hero only after a certain member joins them - the woman he loved once AKA Diana Jones, the Vampire Princess.

Mi_22 · Action
4.8
59 Chs

Hitman with a Badass System

"In a world of shadows, I am the darkness they fear." In the shadowy realm of international espionage and contract killing, Michael was a legend. His deadly precision and a flawless track record had made him the stuff of nightmares in the underworld. However, his life underwent a complete transformation during his latest assignment. As Michael pulled the trigger, a mysterious, otherworldly light enveloped him, and he suddenly found himself in a different realm, inhabiting a foreign body equipped with a system. To survive in this treacherous new land, Michael had to embrace his inner alpha predator, for the system embedded within him was none other than the aptly named "Badass System." This system rewarded him with "badass points" whenever he displayed acts of sheer badassery. Yet, Michael soon realized that every twist and turn in his path was no accident; a grand design was at play, woven by higher beings with ulterior motives. In any compelling story, the quality of its villains is crucial. Thus, the question arises: who are the antagonists that will challenge our deadliest assassin? Will Michael overcome these intricate schemes to emerge victorious? Can he unravel the secrets concealed within the Badass System? Jump right into the book and you will not be disappointed...It's a guarantee... Anti Hero with a Symbiote System: https://www.webnovel.com/book/anti-hero-with-a-symbiote-system_23401860706535005 Dictator with a Badass System: https://www.webnovel.com/book/dictator-with-a-badass-system_24476949205615505 discord link: https://discord.gg/xWacJDwazf Join my wonderful circle and be part of the book!!! Schedule : Everyday 2 Chapters on Mon, Tue, Friday, Sunday 1 Chapter on Wed, Thu, Sat

don_offl · Action
4.8
1405 Chs