Hello! Just read a few chapters of your novel. Here are my comments so far: 1. I like how you wrote the story. It was easily understandable and not too hard to digest. I could easily imagine the setting that the MC was in. There wasn’t much word vomit so the info placed were all useful. 2. Loved the concepts presented in the story. The Laitions and Arionss were new to me so I liked that it was mentioned. You can explain their characteristics too, along with the characters the MC interacted with, to make it more interesting. 3. Chapter upload is stable which is good. Keep up the good work! 4. There was an abrupt change in the MC’s emotions. Make it seem like the MC was more in a frantic or in denial state before he accepts what happened to him and actually strives to do better. 5. The way the system was described was a bit overwhelming or confusing for me. Maybe the format could still be improved and some aspects could be further explained. 6. There also some grammatical errors and the syntax could still be improved (try using Grammarly. That helped me a lot). But this doesn’t take away from the main content. The story could still be understood and enjoyed properly. 7. Work on the dialogues more. It would be nice if you also placed who spoke. Ex: “Hello leader!” Ling Yu happily said as she waved her hands in my direction. Hope this helped you with your novel! Continue to write more and do your best!
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Thank you very much. I will take everything you said into account and will try my best to improve on these issues:)
