The grammar is pretty good but the story itself is the problem. For an old man to be able to act like a 12 year old when he was always mature at a young age and then dying just to be technically tortured or training, (you hinted at what the training was like) I find it very hard to believe he's able to act like that and if you argue that the body he was transferred into has more of an emotional control then that would also be invalid because he doesn't even know simple social interactions. Plus the interactions with other is kinda awkward.
ChocoCrinkols
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