Laziest_Pillow
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I will keep that in mind ;D
There will be a time for that sweet, sweet vengeance >:)
The amount of coping...
"Those who make the ultimate sacrifice will never know if they succeeded in their sacrifice, only have Faith that those he protected would succeed." - A random comment I read on a youtube video
It seems like an interesting start. I liked some of the nerd stuff at the beginning like the mention of how much data was in the cafe, and how little the MC starts with in the matter of stats. The writing is cohesive and has a nice flow, you won't get lost through it and can understand the scenes quite easily, with no need to scroll up and down to understand a sentence or a passage. Overall, a nice start for the novel.
A trillion of a gigabyte equals 1.000.000 petabytes, one million petabytes. If it has trillions of gigabytes, and not just a singular one, it is on the house of millions of petabytes I went to search, and one trillion gigabytes is one zetabyte. The internet is estimated to be around 175 zetabytes in space. It means that the game has a sizable fraction of today's internet total space. Ignore it, it is just nerd talk since the numbers tickled my brain.
"Slow as a snail, HP of a fly! Missed an input! Now I d1e!"
That's one fancy name.
Do you mean Azathoth?
This story is... convoluted. It is hard to keep track of events, and what is going on. The constant skip from perspective to perspective with little to no links sometimes makes it hard. Like the first chapter is from the POV of one character, and the second goes over the sage who stopped the war. It could be done better, and the story could use more development and longer chapters, or at least make more chapters go over certain events. The way it looks is like a puzzle that was put together wrongly with many pieces in wrong places. It has some grammar mistakes but they are not glaring, and the paragraph structure and word choices are acceptable, but the narrative as it stands right now is problematic and hard to follow.
It is a little early to tell anything about the story. It is convoluted in its narrative and presentation of characters, most times it feels as if a whole paragraph or introduction is missing, and things happen too fast for you to keep track of events or what the characters are doing. The dialogue is messy in its delivery too, it doesn't feel natural, it is as if the characters were NPCs with set dialogue and little to no investment in said words besides speaking them. Overall, it can be better and I hope the author improves his story telling as he proceeds with the book.
"She began clinging to Ben" This reminds me of a coffin.
This is a top-tier novel. Your vocabulary and narrative are excellent and weave a dark fantasy story with excellence few can achieve. It is a marvelous journey of Aero and his path to save Ela. How he grows and becomes better, and worse, in different manners, as a person. His willingness to sacrifice all and grow in power, character, and mentality as he goes through literal damnation to fulfill his objectives. He is an excellent character in an excellent novel. The world changes and molds him through its movements, as he in turn shapes himself to deal with the spinning world. The world doesn't revolve around him, but he won't let it stop him and will adapt to become better. The world feels alive and well, and he grows to be a person you can be proud of, even when he indulges in battle and fights, you can feel he is the same person deep down there, and he wants to find redemption even if he is a monster. How he cares about his friends and oaths, even to the likes of Typhon and Amds. You have a knack for writing interesting characters and concepts author. Even better is how you seam the world built together in a rather flawless and natural manner, giving fresh air and space for us readers to understand and take it at our own pace, the lore about the underworld, the gods, Typhon, the Vaelorin, it is all made with such love and execution that makes me want to cry. The beautiful art you commissioned to put into this work makes the wait well worth it, even if the updates are not constant most of the time, it is understandable given the fact you have to wait for the art to be completed to be put alongside the chapter. There are a few grammar mistakes here and there, but they can be condoned with the good narrative, world-building, and art you put in these chapters and story, your love is palpable through the screen. Please, author, continue this story, it is beautiful and gives the vibes of the start of a true epic.
Blast the sound up! This is a funeral for the condemned dead!
This is peak art.
Ela never stops to amuse me.