MadnessReborn

It's a basic rule of writing not to have multiple people speaking in one paragraph. If you absolutely have to, then make it so that it's clear who said what, like: Myrcella said, "Will you join me?". Currently, it reads like Artys proposed to play with Myrcella.

And you just showed everyone why Gen Z is blamed for everything by not reading the story properly. (Btw, I too am Gen Z).

He's afraid for good reason.

As soon as I heard baby oil, I knew what the comments were gonna be about.

This story is a blatant copy of one of my favorite fics 'Were's Harry' by DobbyElfLord on FFN. The shameless person won't even say that and has even created a P@treon. He'll probably delete my review in a few days, but I wanted as many people as possible to report him for plagiarizing as I am.

Did you copy this off from Were's Harry by DobbyElfLord? Have some shame before creating a Pat.

Glad to help, brother. Just don't stop writing, read a lot of stories for research, copy their writing style, and before long you'd be a good writer yourself.

Here's my honest feedback up to this point: You need to go into more detail. Up until now, it reads like a summary of events (which leaves out a lot of things). If you are summarizing a story, it shouldn't be done after the first chapter/prologue. I can give you a few points I noted: it says that the MC received orders from governments, but it didn't talk about things like where the factory was set up, how the raw material was procured, and how much time it took for the development of the products, when do you have to deliver the weapons? Then there are other things like before selling weapons to any foreign government you'd have to get permission from the Indian government. Your idea is very good, but the execution is very haphazard.

Thank you so much for listening to your readers. In an age where everyone is only concerned about maximizing their wealth, you're actually listening to your readers and I love that. I'll definitely subscribe. All the best man!